When the waves of life toss us between joy and grief, how do we find our anchor? Our latest conversation ventures into the transformative territory where faith meets fear, illuminating how belief can be the compass through IVF treatments, everyday choices, and the quest for abundance and self-worth. Traverse with us and our guest, Carolina Sotomayor, through the nuances of emotional healing, the power of Reiki, and the tender subject of fertility as we discuss the dynamic shift from a state of relentless pursuit to one of receptivity and healing.
Do you hear the whisper of your inner voice longing for self-advocacy and empowerment? We unpack the intricate dance between the throat chakra and the womb, unravelling the threads of self-expression and value that bind them together. Our dialogue with Carolina uncovers the art of asking for what we need, and the psychological choreography of giving and receiving that our upbringing and culture have shaped. Parenting, with its myriad challenges and opportunities for growth, also graces our discussion as we share our strategies for fostering emotional intelligence, respect, and autonomy in our children—and in ourselves.
Our episode culminates in an exploration of the delicate interplay between parental self-regulation and children's independence in navigating their emotions. We share stories and insights on breaking generational cycles, creating a nurturing space for heartfelt family interactions, and embracing the journey of personal transformation. And if the wisdom shared resonates with you, we encourage you to pass it along, fostering a community of support and understanding. Join us for a soulful dive into the heart of healing, self-discovery, and intentional living.
Connect with Carolina here
https://carolinasotomayor.com/
Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help.
Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others.
The podcast's intention is to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create spaces of healing.
I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.
Our website
Https://.LiftOneself.com
Find more conversations on our Social Media pages
www.facebook.com/liftoneself
www.instagram.com/liftoneself
Music by prazkhanal
Remember to be kind to yourself.
When the waves of life toss us between joy and grief, how do we find our anchor? Our latest conversation ventures into the transformative territory where faith meets fear, illuminating how belief can be the compass through IVF treatments, everyday choices, and the quest for abundance and self-worth. Traverse with us and our guest, Carolina Sotomayor, through the nuances of emotional healing, the power of Reiki, and the tender subject of fertility as we discuss the dynamic shift from a state of relentless pursuit to one of receptivity and healing.
Do you hear the whisper of your inner voice longing for self-advocacy and empowerment? We unpack the intricate dance between the throat chakra and the womb, unravelling the threads of self-expression and value that bind them together. Our dialogue with Carolina uncovers the art of asking for what we need, and the psychological choreography of giving and receiving that our upbringing and culture have shaped. Parenting, with its myriad challenges and opportunities for growth, also graces our discussion as we share our strategies for fostering emotional intelligence, respect, and autonomy in our children—and in ourselves.
Our episode culminates in an exploration of the delicate interplay between parental self-regulation and children's independence in navigating their emotions. We share stories and insights on breaking generational cycles, creating a nurturing space for heartfelt family interactions, and embracing the journey of personal transformation. And if the wisdom shared resonates with you, we encourage you to pass it along, fostering a community of support and understanding. Join us for a soulful dive into the heart of healing, self-discovery, and intentional living.
Connect with Carolina here
https://carolinasotomayor.com/
Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help.
Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others.
The podcast's intention is to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create spaces of healing.
I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.
Our website
Https://.LiftOneself.com
Find more conversations on our Social Media pages
www.facebook.com/liftoneself
www.instagram.com/liftoneself
Music by prazkhanal
Remember to be kind to yourself.
uh, life. Well, it can apply to things like the truth of like letting things unfold the way they're supposed to, and trusting, like having faith in something bigger than you. Having faith, um, having faith is really the solution I'm finding to fear, and a lot of people don't have enough or the depth of their faith is not. If they had a deeper faith, for me that would remove a lot of the fear that they enter. Whether it's for IVF transfers, egg retrievals, whether it's, you know, a car loan if it's going to be approved, or announcing something to a family member, whatever, is having enough faith in the decisions that you're making, in the person that you are like, having enough faith not just in those things, but also bigger than you, like your soul, mother, earth, God, whatever their belief system is. And I found that that when I I ask, like, if I'm coaching a person, I have several people in IVF. Actually, I have three right now today that are getting transfers.
Speaker 1:What if this doesn't work out? I mean, it's the first time or it's the second time. They already have one Reiki baby, so they're trying for their second Reiki baby. What if the fear is like? If a miracle could happen once, why can't it happen again. I was like, if a miracle could happen once, why can't it happen again? Just like fear has been rampant, I'd say, for the past five days, but it's been intense for but for me. I've been in an abundance streak, it's been the opposite for me, but I think I went through a dark night of the soul recently, about a month ago. So, um, I kind of do the things sometimes a little bit ahead of my circle or my collective around me yeah, exactly because you're to show them where the path is, so that they can trust in the unknown, the uncertainty.
Speaker 2:So it makes total sense, because if you're in the same frequency, then how are we going to get ourselves out if there's nobody finding solutions or have the experience of facing that fear and going through it still? Right, yeah and it can feel uncomfortable because when you're in a high and other people are in a low, it's like how do I not dim my light while other people are going through their dark moments? And it's remembering that, it's reminding them that the light is already within them, that the darkness is.
Speaker 1:I didn't even think about that. I'm just in this creation mode of like I have a membership, so I'm in this creation mode of how can I serve you? But I didn't even think about my light. I've just been using my light to create new things. Like in our membership, we had a office hours call where they would ask questions. But I really love podcasting. So I two weeks ago I had an idea. I was like oh, I should create a private podcast. How does one do that? And went down that rabbit hole. And then the next week I had a private podcast and it was just for us and they can like what is that? Like, dear Abby, where they can like ask the questions and then I just answer it and it's just for them yeah it's not in like the app store or the podcast or google podcast.
Speaker 1:So um I I have been using my energy to create yeah, and that feels abundant to you right now, and I've never been happier. Huh, I've never been happier. Actually, your nervous system's regulated?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is now, yeah, and so being in this and it's like, oh, and I'm safe to receive and I'm safe to be tethered to my curiosity and I'm safe to feel joy, and nothing's going to be taken away from me right now, and even when there's challenges, I have the energy to face them and not just crumble down and be depleted and the energy low. So your nervous system is regulated right now.
Speaker 1:So what's your feelings? That's validation. Thank you so much. I received that to my core because I didn't know much about nervous system regulation and it's something new for me in the past year, just understanding all the things and yeah. So I thought I had to do a lot more, but I didn't realize that. I thought I was just being like. I literally had written in my emails I've told other people, I told my best friend. I was like I'm the happiest I've ever been. She goes what happened. I was like I made really bold decisions and I am in 100% alignment and living my life purpose and I've been living my life purpose.
Speaker 1:But I used to have another business. I used to have an online business agency that managed small businesses and their social media. I hated it, shut it down and the same week my husband's grandma died. She died on February 22nd and she was my favorite person in his family. I love his mom and dad too. I love all his family, but she was my favorite person. I was like, wait a minute. She died February 22nd. I told her I was like that dad too. I love all his family, but like she was my favorite person, I was like wait a minute. She died February 22nd. I told her I was like that's two, two, two. And he's like what does that mean? It's like that's an angel number, like she. She was a literal angel to me and, um, it was like just a reminder of like, am I living my truest life? And it was like just a reminder of like, am I living my truest life? And it was like no, I don't want to be serving this group of people, I just want to do Reiki.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the message that I got from that, too, is you felt a loss and it brought you in the portal of not being afraid of feeling the loss, so really going after what would serve your energy and, as you said, your life purpose, because a lot of time holds us back is the fear of mistakes, the fear of rejection, the fear of losing something. Yet that portal ramped it up for you to see it the other way, that actually you're losing your time of life and you are deserving of joy.
Speaker 1:I always feel like I'm going to not have enough time in this life and I've had a lot of death and I've watched a lot of people die in our family or around me and that just has been very prominent and that just has been very prominent. So I sometimes and I try not to live so fast very intentionally, but I do I do feel like I don't have enough time.
Speaker 2:So that's why I'm like the time is now and you've regulated that. It's. That hypervigilant puts you into a very fast pace of trying to have control and security in life. So and the signal of not good enough and not there yet really ramps up your system. So it's like go, go, go and you're, you're it's. It's almost like a trauma trigger. Oh, it is.
Speaker 2:It's almost like a trauma trigger because it's not allowed to receive and feel the worthiness within yourself and recognize you're exactly where you're supposed to be and your achievements and your actions are not what dictate your worth. To come inside and not go outside to find that it's, it's a whole reverse.
Speaker 1:Resistance is my worth Like just is yeah your breath, yeah my breath. I didn't even think about my breath, wow. I always say you're, you were, you were born worthy. That's a common saying, right? So for me, for a long time I'm a corporate quitter dropout and I had a six-figure corporate career but it was killing me and I quit it years ago this month actually, it's April. Yeah, I quit it three years ago this month, and it has been to disconnect my identity from the outcome or the amount of money has been quite the tangle. But now I have, I'm a big prayer girl. I pray to God, to Mother Earth, to my dad who's passed. He's been passed. This on Saturday will be 10 years. I pray to my higher self. I pray to my Reiki guides. I pray to my Reiki guides.
Speaker 1:Mary Magdalene is my obsession right now and I have my validation is I collect signs, which then, if I have to provide to a logical brain, I say, well, I've had enough evidence that proves that when I rest, I get rewarded. When I choose myself, I get rewarded. When I honor myself, I get rewarded. Meaning like the thing that I do need arrives and it was a surprise. So when I rest, I get a new client, or the marketing funnel that I implemented, that I was so proud of, actually worked, or someone finds me on YouTube or you know, and then they book. They book, you know, like a thing, an offer or whatever.
Speaker 1:And that's been happening so much since I just decided to do like all in Reiki I even have my own podcast and I decided I just needed a break and I allowed myself to rest and I was like I don't want to do this unless it is fun anymore and I needed. I wasn't inspired. I was like I'm going to do this again and I want to do this unless it's fun anymore. And I needed. I wasn't inspired. So I was like I'm going to do this again and I want to do this again, but only when I feel it, when I get the inspiration, when I have, because I'm a human design projector. I don't know if you're into human design, um, I don't.
Speaker 1:I didn't have anything to say or share and for me, basically, I wasn't seeing anything, I wasn't feeling anything that was wise or I was being called to share anything obvious, any patterns. So with that I was like if I'm not feeling it in my womb, then it's not going to be any good and that's not going to impact anything or anyone. So we are just now. We're going to come back in a couple weeks. I hired my podcast strategist again. We're like these are my ideas, but I needed your help, but I feel inspired to create again, but I needed space and I needed time to pause, to rejuvenate. You had to hibernate. Yeah, exactly that.
Speaker 1:You have to rest to restore yeah and a lot of women also, just like for the fertility space, is like do we, I really need you to rest. I need you to like oh, I'm going and going back and trying again, like back to Mexico. I was like no, I really need you to rest.
Speaker 1:Your womb is not ready. Your womb is so tired Like it's not like I need you to like pause. Can we do this six months from now? And he's like I need you to pause. Can we do this six months from now? And he's like I need you to restore? I need you to feel, I need you to live again. There is no joy. I'm not feeling any joy in your whole system. Where do you source your joy from? And a lot of people can't answer that question. A lot of people can't. A lot of people stop living with fertility treatments or trying to conceive a baby, because it's something they desperately want. But living still while having, but by still trying to conceive, um is a way that can be done, but it has you have to. It's a, it's definitely it's a shift it's a shift and it's also.
Speaker 2:They have to come out of their head and come back into their body, and they're not yes, they're my body connection so when you rest in your stillness, you're coming back into your body.
Speaker 2:Yet when you're not it, when you're trying to grasp and have that desperate energy because this is the desire I want and I feel like it's going to fill a hole with an H in me, to fill a completion of a hole with a W, your mind is going rampant to try to get that for you, not recognizing you're not in your body to receive that, to connect and to tell your body we're ready to be fertile, we're ready to receive this and to, like you know, disarm and regulate the nervous system.
Speaker 2:So you're not in hypervigilance because that cortisol release is impacting your womb and impacting your system, yourocrine endocrine system and all that. So, and it's very easy, you know the logical catchphrases where we're saying rest and restore and do this, and it's like, yeah, easier said than done help me to relate and it's okay, you have to come back into your body. You You're not in your body, you're in your head of this desire and you're running away, more than possibly from a wound that has disconnected the communication within your body and you haven't cultivated the tools within yourself to finally face that and release it, to finally face parts of yourself that have been hidden in the shadow and you're not aware that you have to bring it to the light of your awareness. There's no monsters inside of you.
Speaker 1:I think that for me, the greatest, the greatest jump or the connection to make that successful in the work that I do, is to give people the ability to heal themselves with Reiki. And amongst all these other changes in my life, I've totally revamped my entire membership and that's the least inexpensive way to work with me. They learn how to do Reiki. I got the private podcast. They have the vault of meditations and then we have a live healing call. But the thing is is that all the clients that were able to conceive with me are all Reiki attuned to manage stress, fear and anxiety in real time, but also develop the relationship with your body, develop the relationship with yourself, your soul, but also with healing, so that it's not a practice, it's not a chore, it's not self-care. It is just like everyone talks about money, relationship or anything like that. It's a relationship you're choosing to have that's going to benefit you in so many different ways, because healing is not a one-time event, right? So healing has to occur and it is self-care, but this is so much more than that. So for me, is that the connection of a lot of the women to come out of, to build that connection between their mind and their body, or their soul and their body and all three is to help them understand that the masculine energy that's carried them so far, where they've been dominant or assertive or rewarded for, get it done and the you know a she'll achieve everything, girl or woman, and is to get out of that. And it's okay to do less, it's okay to not commit as much, it's okay People will figure it out. In understanding that people who to release the attachment to people or having the need of people, in understanding that she is the prize that she's like, valuing her above others, and that comes with the Reiki and that allows her to soften and switch into like let people call you. You don't need to be the first at the picnic or you don't even have to offer. I don't know Lourdes or whoever to move. She can hire movers. She existed before you, she exists after you. Let her figure it out. Your job right now is healing and your job and focus right now is to prepare to receive so that you can have a baby.
Speaker 1:The opposite of giving is receiving, like you said. However, a lot of women don't even know how to ask or articulate, not just, oh, can I have a glass of water, but like really ask for what they need, let alone what they want. Um, and that also comes from, you know, activating the throat chakra and the connection to the womb, and like valuing herself. And when I put in the perspective, is like for women who I have to put the end goals's like so, who are stuck in that, I was like, okay, so if you do have your baby they're in kindergarten and your kid is Betty and Johnny kicks Betty are you gonna sit by and say nothing? No, you're gonna advocate for Betty and say, no, you can't kick Betty. That's not nice. You're gonna speak to someone, or you're gonna speak to speak to someone, or you're going to speak to that child, but you're going to do something about it. That comes from advocacy, that comes from communication, that comes from power, that comes from love and value and worth. He said that is the point. It was like to get there. We have to do that for you because the baby that's coming in is transforming you to become the parents they need you to quantum leap to, to grow to, to expand to, because the things that they're going to need, they're using you to guide them. But that starts now. So that spirit baby on the other side when I attach it to more than them, like it was, like these things, these feelings, they're for a purpose, because they're building blocks to where you need to end up. For that moment You're not going to let Betty get hurt, so why would you let you? Or a seven-year-old, your inner child, get hurt? And then that connection it's almost like an inner child reconciliation of like, is it like? And they're like. Oh, that kind of like metaphor scenario really is transformative for a lot of people, because sometimes they can't, if they're trying to conceive, they can't get past the positive pregnancy test or they can't, you know, they can't imagine themselves pregnant, they can't imagine themselves postpartum, they can't imagine first birthdays, let alone kindergarten. But like, let me paint the picture, let me lend you there. There's a reason why a lot of healers or thought forward thought leaders, they've went first. They've lived it.
Speaker 1:I know I had no self-worth at one point. I chose terrible partners because I had no self-worth, because I had a daddy wound, because I had abatement issues. That is not the case anymore. My throat is good, but I can tell you that was my throat and my sacral. They were blown away, not positive ways, when I was trying to conceive because I felt unsafe to take up space to speak, to ask to exist, to feel. It was mainly the feel you know, let alone communicate how I was feeling. So that's how it all comes together. But but that little scenario like yeah, yeah, I'm going to rise up, yes, there's yes together. So that's kind of like my trick, or what has what I have helped clients with. So I hope it's helpful to someone else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is the. I don't know if you've recognized that, but that's the nervous system language.
Speaker 1:No, no, I know. No, no, I didn't know that, I'm just living my experience.
Speaker 2:Because there are people pleasing and trying to fix this in the fawn, because there's four F's in the nervous system, so they're all the way at the bottom part of fawning in the nervous system. So they're all the way at the bottom part of fawning. And so let me help other people to get the reward of feeling like I'm a good person, because it's nice and rewarding when somebody is like, oh, you helped me and I couldn't have done it without you. So you get that reward system. Not realizing like that, yeah, this is a trauma response and it's you're always in a better situation of giving than receiving, because we have been indoctrinated that if you receive, you're in need and you're in a very vulnerable, threatening position. So always be in a position of giving, because that means it's a power 100%, and for me it's, it's I.
Speaker 1:I knew that that was. I have a core memory about this. Do you want me to share, or so? My dad was a very macho Ecuadorian man and he immigrated to this country when he was 18 and, um, I'm the youngest of three, so I'm the last, and I was much younger than the rest. He used to tell me I want to make a man out of you. Never ask for favors, because you'll always owe someone and you don't want to ever. So he was all about everything was hyper independence. He was all about everything was hyper independence.
Speaker 1:So that's also something that I learned as well. Very similar to like if you give, that's the power. The power also that I had to undo was like well, I can just do it by myself, I can do it by myself, I don't need help. Well, guess what? I got tired in every way that you could get tired of doing everything by myself, and it took many years of therapy, and even like therapy with my husband, who loves me. I married my husband because I just knew no one was ever going to love me any better than he was, and he was my person and I could never get enough time with him, obsessed with him, he's everything. And it took me even years in our marriage, married to a fantastic human, to decondition that, to feel safe enough to like give him stuff to do to that I didn't have to do it all, oh, you know. And decondition like you're not a good latin wife unless you cook clean, do all things and work so fucked up. So, um, yeah, the so to receive for me now is the greatest celebration, because that means I've made it, because it's something my dad can never do and it's something that then it's a confirmation for me.
Speaker 1:I broke a huge family pattern that was very toxic. My little has no problem asking for things. So I have a seven-year-old he's the first Reiki baby and I just I also have to make sure also that I'm a safe person when this perfectly great human, tiny human, is living in a regulated, non-toxic, non-abusive home. He's asking for 10 hugs non-abusive home. He's asking for 10 hugs. I have to make sure that I am emotionally regulated to deliver because he's asking and I need to meet that need. So that's next level.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, and it's a valid thing, because we always think we have to be in connection with our children and sometimes we're not connected and it's just having a language of being able to know. It's not about the disconnection, it's about the repair and allowing them to see what being human is. And sometimes there's this aversion because the old pattern is coming, like I didn't get hugs so I don't want to hug and I'm just over capacity to overwhelms right now. Yet bringing myself of it's not about my needs. Right now I'm the parent. How can I be responsible and open up for this human being that's in front of me? And it's these things that happen in real time.
Speaker 2:Yet the more that you engage with yourself, the more that you're able to tease out and have a language for it and be able to articulate because we're not always going to get it right and to think that we're not going to cause any harm or hurt feelings. We're not 100% perfect. Being human and relating with each other. It's not an easy task. It doesn't matter how great a person is, it's just relating with each other. It's always about the repair and, as you said, it too, it's until you connected into safety within yourself and learned that the safety I have to create it within myself that things started to open up and your body could show things and you could change the conditioning that was presented to you. You could shift your perception and how you related with things. That it's like all of a sudden, like I can exhale now like oh my gosh, this is what it is to take a deep breath and be able to let it out and, just you know, flow with it.
Speaker 2:I thank you for that vulnerability and sharing that core memory so that when the listeners hear it they can relate to it even more in depth. Where it's like it's not just this theory and logical stuff, it's when we present our own personal experiences, it becomes relatable. And then somebody's like it's like they're in my head and they're saying the exact thing that I'm going through, so that it's like okay, it's connecting from the inside out, not from the outside in. It's no longer looking at yourself from the outside, it's being in the inside of yourself. Yet it's a journey to get there. It's a journey to deconstruct. It's a journey to recreate definitions for yourself of what that looks like for you. We jumped right into this podcast so a lot of this is going with it.
Speaker 3:I was like okay, I love it this is how the podcast is so.
Speaker 2:welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations.
Speaker 3:I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there.
Speaker 2:We share insights and tools of self-care meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology.
Speaker 3:Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself.
Speaker 2:As you can hear, listeners, I am with the beautiful Carolina and she is the guest today and she's going to, as we heard about womb healing and Reiki and all the beautiful stuff that she's providing for her clients. I would ask you, carolina, if you would join me in a meditation. I usually start this at the beginning. I would love that so much.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm so ready. Let me just say I have coffee and cucumber water Great.
Speaker 2:So for the listeners, I'm going to ask you to join us. Also, if you're driving or if you're doing anything that needs your visual, please don't close your eyes. I want you to be safe and everybody else around you. Yet the other prompts you're able to do so. Carolina, I'll ask you just to get comfortable and close your eyes, and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose and bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose. You're not going to try and control your breath. You're just going to observe it, going in and out and see the rhythm, feel how the body is feeling, while still keeping your awareness on your breath. There may be some sensations or feelings coming up, let them come up.
Speaker 3:You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go.
Speaker 2:Surrender the need to control.
Speaker 3:Release the need to resist and just be Be with your breath.
Speaker 2:Drop into your body.
Speaker 3:Drop into the now. Keep your awareness on your breath. There may be some thoughts or some memories that may have come up. It's fine, don't push them away. Just bring your awareness back to your breath. It's fine, don't push them away, just bring your awareness back to your breath. You don't have to get enmeshed in them or be a first person in those things. You can just observe them while still staying focused, with your breath Dropping down deeper into your body and just keeping your awareness on that breath.
Speaker 3:Caroline, I'm going to ask you in your mind to create an intention that you want to bring forth in this conversation, for the podcast, for the listeners, and when you've created that intention, I'll ask you to release it in your mind, in your thoughts, allowing it to drop into your nervous system, down into your throat for your voice, down into your heart, down into your spirit, your soul, into your life force, into your spirit, your soul, into your life force, into your energy field, still staying with your breath and dropping deeper into your body, allowing that intention to vibrate out and surround you. And you're staying with your breath, dropping further into the body, feeling an openness, while still staying with your breath you're going to come into your senses.
Speaker 3:And at your own time and at your own pace. You're going to gently open your eyes while still staying with your breath. How's your heart doing?
Speaker 1:you can hear it, but it's not going fast. In my meditation I actually visualized my heart can you feel?
Speaker 2:it too yeah can you let the listeners know who Carolina is?
Speaker 1:that is forever trying, forever showing up and feeling compassion for others and being present in the womb so others can feel and feel the love that they deserve and also create the children that they deserve in the way that they deserve, and also create the children that they deserve in the way that they wish and heal, so that they heal more upfront, so they can get the experiences through fertility, pregnancy, birth, postpartum that they're meant to have in the most positive ways can you let the listeners know um what womb healing is in reiki, because that's what you provide for your clients.
Speaker 2:Some listeners may be like what are you talking?
Speaker 1:about so I will start with what reiki is. Reiki is the. It originated in Japan over a hundred years ago. It's a form of energy healing and it can be done in person or over distance. It can be done online, which is distance. If it's done in person, it can. Your hands can hover above you or be placed on top of you and you should be always be clothed and it works with your chakra system, which are the main energy centers of your body. Six of them the six major ones sit on your spine and the seventh on the top of your head, and those energy centers are meant to be open and flowing. They can be blocked, open and balanced. They can also have an excess of energy, and Reiki works to holistically and efficiently is what I like to say heal all parts of you, all of your bodies, all layers of you.
Speaker 1:So if you do have physical pain, that means that there is an energy or an emotion stuck in that tissue. Reiki will help remove it. It brings the lower vibration things to the surface to be released. Now it's up to your subconscious mind to release it or not. And so in a Reiki session you can feel warmth. Tingles, sensations of warmth move through your body. You could fall asleep, you could yawn, you could cough. All of those are energy moving through your body. You could also cry, and it's because it's a release. Things that you may not know, that need to be released are coming to the surface because they're the lower vibration. So with Reiki it works with any faith system or no faith system, and as long as the person is consenting, the energy can be given to the person from the practitioner. The energy does not come from the practitioner, it comes through them. So they are a conduit, a channel, and with Reiki there's different lineages. For me, I practice Kundalini, which is what I have found home in. I am attuned and certified to four different lineages, but this one is what is most authentic to me and my energy. And there's different levels of Reiki. Level one is for self-Reiki. Level two is what you need to practice on others. Level three is Reiki master, which is teacher level, and then different lineages might have more than that, but that's generally what the levels are.
Speaker 1:I have taken Reiki and applied it to the womb. It didn't initially start off as that. I was recommended to get Reiki in the same week from a trusted psychic medium and my therapist in the same week and I was on medical leave. I was suffering from a concussion, I had fallen off my horse and we were actively trying to get pregnant. And we had been and there was nothing wrong with me medically. I was just really depressed and I had been in grief therapy well over a year and a half at this point, and so I went and got Reiki the next week and then the next month I was testing positive with our son Ollie, and that was my first experience with Reiki.
Speaker 1:The most common question is can I get pregnant after one Reiki session? The healing time is different for everyone. I had just done a lot of. My therapist was really good, and so I felt like I had done a lot of the soul work before I came to that appointment, and that appointment changed me. It was the first time I could take a deep breath after my dad had died, cause at that point my dad was my safety in the world and I was grieving and feeling very unsafe and questioning what is true, what is not true, very deep questions, searching for the meaning of death, because how does a person cease to exist that you talk to every single day? He was the only person to never physically abuse me and my family. So it was very difficult loss and it transforming in so many ways. It was the beginning. His death was the beginning of my spiritual awakening.
Speaker 1:Fast forward, got Ricky through my pregnancy. I got certified when Ollie was six months, so when I was postpartum six months and I started serving women in their postpartum because that's what I was really passionate about, because that's what I was like coming out of. And then I started serving just women and I went from being mobile, taking my massage table to people's houses, which was hell, the stairs and a heavy massage table, not the jam. I went to a chiropractor's office and I was there for years and then, right before COVID, I shut it down and it went online. But Reiki, womb healing, serving all of those women.
Speaker 1:I always went back to the womb, whether they were suburban housewives, in the picture life, picture perfect life. They were still searching for meaning and connection and they were just going through the emotions. Or maybe it was a traumatic event or you know, or women were connecting to parts of themselves they hadn't before, like I had worked with one woman. She had been adopted and she was in her 40s and she was going to go meet her dad for the first time. I mean, it could have been anything, but what I noticed. The pattern went back to the womb.
Speaker 1:Self-identidentity, the beliefs around self feeling emotionally safe to show up in the world was like just the basic common theme. So they feel worthy and safe enough to feel their emotions. So then they can go and do the thing, or speak differently or expand differently or have a different conversation or ask for intimacy or because then can they go on to say that, to feel or even be honest with themselves. You know, radical honesty is a whole different level of healing. Right like to say I deserve pleasure, I deserve time away for my kids to find my passions again, to find joy again. I need a time to myself and that they're worthy to stay and expand that.
Speaker 1:For me it always went back to the womb. All the other chakras matter, but it was like that's where I ended up spending the most time and as a healer I would notice that my clients would mirror me and I was working on my womb. So eventually, over time, I worked with a business coach and I had to write my birth story, I had to write my postpartum story, I had to write my fertility story like your origin, right, and I was like identifying more as a womb healer. I was like, okay, this thing is like all right, let's dive into the womb. Like what does this mean for me? How do I own this, how do I own this part of me because I'm an all all-in kind of girl. So with this, um then I was just like then I just started to see and respond to more and more people were responding to the fertility and I was just like then I just started to see and respond to more and more people were responding to the fertility and I was like, yeah, ollie was the first one, he was the first Reiki baby and I didn't even know it. So and at that point we now we have 97. So I'm the.
Speaker 1:That's what I coined myself. Somebody called me when I was in the chiropractor's office You're the womb healer. I was like, cause we saw a lot of women. She was a family chiropractor, pediatric chiropractor, and she would do acupuncture and for IUIs and IVF patients and I would do Reiki after she would do their acupuncture. So it was really fun and I was like this also brought me the most joy, like this is like when you think about like who you never get tired of working with. I love serving women from preconception all the way through postpartum. Sometimes I get to meet the babies.
Speaker 1:And it is the most delicious, yummy feeling in the entire world to like I was channeling this little spirit baby preconception and now they're here. Are you flipping, kidding me? What kind of out of world, alien experience am I living? It is Ryan's. Like I can't believe. Like that happened and I love it. Like, as I have matured in my healing practices and I've worked with more women, the babies that come in are really fun.
Speaker 1:I worked on this girl back in the day. My first job was Carnival Cruise Lines and I had a friend and she was the it girl on the reservations calls floor and she contacted me. She was still friends on my Facebook page and I remember I was doing my first beta group healing program and I was not very confident. I was like this is still COVID and yada, yada. So it's like eight weeks for $99. Let's go. And she ended up getting pregnant Two people got pregnant in that container and she's like that's the best $99 I've ever spent my life. I said I bet and she's now pregnant with her third Reiki baby and it was just you just never know. Like, just to know that, like one, like this old friend, old acquaintance, like I love her dearly, and then like to see these children and like channel them. But her son, who's now? You know he's big now but he was the first one to show me his chakras and utero. He's like look at my chakras. I was like I always. His name is Noah. She's been on my podcast multiple times so I can share her story. But his energy in the womb is the same as his personality in the womb as it is in real life in our side. But he was the first baby to talk to me in the way I would channel dead people or past loved ones. But he showed me his chakras and he popped them out kind of like like a U shape. He's like look at my chakras. And that was the first time. I was like. It never even occurred to me to scan baby chakras. He was the first one and that was just a few years ago. So it's always developing like spirits that are coming in, souls that are coming in, surprised me all the time. But so it's just like just being open to see how it evolves. So Reiki womb healing essentially is applying the Reiki energy.
Speaker 1:Long way to answer your question is applying Reiki energy specifically to the womb, and the womb is important because it's your emotional reservoir good and bad, and a lot of our worth, our creativity, our sexuality, our sensuality, our joy, our passions are wrapped up in our womb. So I like to say emotional safety is important, probably the most important to establish in a healing relationship, because if we can make you feel emotionally safe, you're going to speak differently, you're going to operate differently, you're going to possibly pause and slow down, you're going to think more thoroughly through things and we also potentially could have a treatment plan or a healing plan of like. Start to identify what are your triggers and trace back those triggers to either life events or wounds. And you know big relationships reside in the womb. The presence of them are especially. The biggest ones are father and mother. So if you are looking to do this is all shadow work on steroids, but with the focus of healing your womb. I do it with the intention of helping you conceive, but you can apply this for increasing your libido, decreasing painful periods, manifesting better, because you create everything in your life from your womb and men have energetic wombs as well.
Speaker 1:When we think about wounds in the womb, the biggest wound for me is the father. One is the father wound is the number one. I'll be like, tell me about your relationship with your dad and I'll let them tell me how it is right now. Like tell me about your relationship with your dad and I'll let them tell me how it is right now. And then I was like, okay, how was it when you were? What's your first negative memory of your dad? And like what, what is it when he calls? What do you feel? And sometimes I don't get people usually that are having a lovey-dovey relationship with their dad. Usually they're not, but sometimes they are.
Speaker 1:So the work that we do has no reflection on the character of the parent. It's just we're removing stuck energy, stuck emotions and de-triggering you so that you can live life as happy as possible. And this has nothing to do with forgiveness, it has nothing to do with reconciliation. This has everything to do with your personal decision of X, y, z happened. How do you feel about it right now? Are you ready to release that narrative that you've been holding on to? And then Reiki just helps remove it. So that's technically what I do with Reiki Womb Healing and allowing you to move through the most painful wounds and blockages to optimize your fertility, and it goes along with your fertility plan that you're doing with your doctor. So it's not going to interfere. It's only going to amplify and make your fertility plan more successful. Because if we can heal your dad wound, your mother wound, let me tell you it's going to change you and the healing you will never regret it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and save you a lot of money in therapy bills because you're doing the healing from within, like you said, showing the person the portal of really understanding their biology person, the portal of you know, really understanding their biology. Understanding because, how I use it in my um, in the service that I provide to people, it's like, okay, we're going to remove the word trauma and we're going to replace it with energy. So energy, whatever the experience was, you identified with this experience and you created a perception. So, like you said, that narrative is keeping looping and then it got bigger and bigger and it ramped up without really identifying what were actually your true emotions. Also, because you may have had secondary emotions to help keep you safe in the situation and not really felt the authentic and true emotions of what that experience felt like for you. And right now you may just be always running off of secondary emotions, not the true emotions.
Speaker 2:And, like you said, the healing of honesty.
Speaker 2:If you can get to deep honesty, you're like going zoom with your healing because you're coming back into your core, into your big S yourself and being able to relate with your worth and not trying to achieve it or get to it like you're in it. So you understand, okay, I'm allowed to feel this, I'm allowed to have these thoughts, I'm allowed to perceive like, and then the boundary work and how I want to be treated and respected. It sounds like a lot and it is when you're going through the process. Yet once you open up, it's almost like a light switch, that something opens up, and then there's this floodgate of everything starts to make sense and things click in. I don't know if your clients have said that or if you've actually in your own life that, all of a sudden, that energy, once it's dislodged, it's like everything starts to open up and it's like, oh, wow, like I didn't see it this way before. My perception only looked to the left, rather than seeing that I could look to the right and the left all at the same time.
Speaker 1:My husband made a comment to me a while ago and he goes you don't ask for anyone's opinion anymore when you're making decisions. I said no, I don't need to, whereas he will vet things with me I'm his sounding board and I was like, no, I make the best decisions for myself and for us. If it's a family decision, of course we'll have a conversation. But I was like, no, I don't ask. I'm very sure of the decisions I make and that's because of I have. I'm choosing me all of the time. I'm the most important person and I would never have dared to say that before, like even a year ago, because I would have felt like there was so many like to say that would mean so many things. And now I think, since I hit 40, I'm going to be 41 next month I think I just like it's a different liberate. It's like the word that comes up with me, like the future self of the thing, the person that's doing the thing that I want to do. What would they be doing? Okay, and then go do that and be fearless in it. That is like the thing. That's how I'm approaching things now, so like I don't I, it's just even like if I put boundaries with my mom. She and I are good, but there is there's necessary boundaries for us to exist together. And I, my husband, said when was the last time you talked to your mom? I was like a couple weeks ago. And he goes you don't talk. I was like, nope, there's a boundary there. I'm taking a time out because I am allowed to take that, giving myself permission and having those internal conversations. But when he said, when the observation from my partner was you, you're making a lot of decisions, you're not asking anybody, you're not asking me, you're not asking your bestie, have you talked to so-and-so about that? It's like no, why. Like that was next level for me and I was just like, no, I'm, I'm the it girl in my life, like I make and like that also came as a core belief of like trusting myself. As I do make great decisions and I am good with money and I am a kick-ass mom. I don't need to ask, I don't need to seek a thousand opinions because I'm not gonna like any of them and I don't. It's a waste of time because I'm just going to like any of them and it's a waste of time because I'm just going to decide what I want anyway, but just that alone. I spent a lot of time just saying I make great decisions as an affirmation of mantra, and I would say it over and over and over again, because I had to get.
Speaker 1:There was some dad, there was a next level even though he's been passed away 10 years, like dad, stuff comes up all the time of like not trusting myself because that was either. He never physically abused me the mental toll that that man took on me to like undo his intaking. That has been the most complicated undoing out of like the the family relationships I've had in my life is like yes, I am trustworthy. It's just that you were. You were too whatever to to see my worth and see how good I was. That's not my problem anymore, that's you're dead. Like I don't have to handle that anymore. It reminded me like it's okay to feel relieved that I don't have this toxic person around and some people are like, oh, you're so sad. I'm like no, he was really difficult. Even though he was my safe person, he was toxic and he was mean. Just because he physically abused you doesn't mean that there's not emotional or mental abuse there.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that yeah, psychological is the worst so, like I'm really glad he's not around, my life is a lot happier without him around and I'm not apologetic for that either, because he was the hardest person to love and I've done a lot of healing around that and I'm much freer to exist the way I want to, without chains.
Speaker 2:Thank you for that vulnerability and that honesty so other people can hear that, because it may feel very threatening to some, because we're supposed to regard our parents as a certain way yeah, Diminish our own worth and not realize you know you. What I'm hearing you say is that your father had a lot of fear and needing to control and that fear was projected on you that I don't trust that you can make the right decisions to not harm yourself. And I cannot. I don't have the strength to see you go through pain, so I would rather control you.
Speaker 1:That's a good articulation of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I tell people I'm like you want a good spiritual practice, become a parent because you'll learn about yourself.
Speaker 2:And it's a reflection of, like you mentioned about the inner child, your son is showing you certain things about yourself, and it's a male now, the male that your father wanted you to be, and it's also that your father's coming through the spirit of him, so that parents and child relationship is getting repaired in a different way, so that you can see even more parts of yourself that you weren't able to see through your father's reflection because he just wasn't open as a vessel.
Speaker 2:He was just yeah, it'll be so much fear and not feeling good enough and feeling and to be an immigrant in another country. So there's no words of how that hyper vigilance and always worried, like not feeling of sense of belonging. So what I really heard in that message that you said is that you're trusting yourself, you've come back into trusting yourself and to be validated is I'm going to create that validation for myself, no longer going to others to really get that reinforcement. I am the source of that and that is showing the work that you've done for yourself.
Speaker 1:It's huge, thank you. Yeah, I never thought of my dad as a fearful person, but that 100% checks out, 100% like, because it wasn't just with me, it was everyone I understand the nervous system very well and I give it a language that people can relate to it differently, that they didn't see.
Speaker 1:Digest it. Yeah, yeah, no, you just did you. Yeah, because when you talked about my relationship with my son and sometimes I call it like the one the most common word I've done is used to describe it is consuming. Ollie consumes me, he needs all parts of me and this my dad was consuming. So sometimes I, we, I have implemented in our house that it's okay to ask for breaks and we have to explain that break and we remind each other breaks are for my regulation and I just need some me time and it's okay to ask to have some alone time and then I come back and I'm a better mom for it or my husband's a better person. Or sometimes Ollie needs time alone and he goes and cuddles with his stuffed animals or he might ask for screen time or might read a book, but uh, taking breaks has allowed me to not feel like uh, the consuming part can also feel like suffocation, like the consuming part of like.
Speaker 1:He needs all of me and he's a very intense being, but he's also very loving. He very much mirrors me. We're the same human design type. He looks like my husband but is very like my energy, big energy, very intense energy, deep feelings, deep thoughts, and I just need to make sure that I have. I have to make sure I'm regulated before he comes home to make sure that I'm. That's all that I'm doing. And if that doesn't happen, then it's very hard on both of us because then, if I'm anxious, he will immediately mirror that and match my energy and flip the script and like he's like oh we're going to go at this and I was like and it's just very not the energy of my husband's family.
Speaker 1:They're all very calm, polite, very chill people and I know who I am and I'm a very intense person. So this energy, I was like you might want to step out, like ollie and I are just going to talk for a while, we're gonna, we're gonna. I'm like what would I like in this situation when I was seven, and a lot of it has what to do with autonomy, with choices and making sure that he feels heard and like also just like emptying his brain is probably half the battle, but also the you know, also getting stuff done in there. So it's, it's fun, but it's also like perplexing because I have to. I have to make sure that I am being very mindful, like what am I feeling? It's three o'clock, okay, we need a ground. I need to make sure there's food, the couple of things that I need to have his food snacks ready for after school. Okay, how am I feeling? And I like might need to move my body for like 10 or 15 minutes and then I'm ready for him because it's and um, that's why we only had one.
Speaker 1:I love him with everything that I am and I'm a a really like I. I know that I'm the mom he needs, but we also, if anyone's listening, I apologize on the daily Like it's really important. You've seen me cry. He's seen me argue with my husband. We don't hide anything because we live real life here but I also learned good, healthy um how to fight or argue with my husband. Like we never call names. He's never heard me call my husband a name because it's never happened. We use please and thank you. We, we have a community in our home. Like he models a lot of good behaviors and he's polite, naturally because we're polite with each other but we're also very honest. So like that he's very emotionally mature, I would say even for seven, because of the things that we do our home with intentionality, but I apologize. So sometimes I might raise my boys. Or like we have three dogs and him. So like two Cavalier King Charles and a Cogger Spaniel and him it's three and a nine month old puppy. So life is fun, it's full around here, so there might be. Stop barking, stop biting. Don't do that to the dog, please. I'm cooking dinner. You know, like you're like I'm sorry, shouldn't have yelled at you sorry, I rushed you, I'm really sorry about that, do you forgive me and like that shows that I am human and that shows that one that I care about how he feels and thinks about our relationship. And then I'm not telling him that he to shut up and put it away, I'm teaching him to feel things. Or the other thing we implemented that was really important to me because as a child, a huge thing with my mom was I never felt heard.
Speaker 1:We implemented something called family meetings and it's where every person we choose one thing it's usually one of his toys and whoever has that thing or toy can only talk. And we taught him like, don't interrupt and we have to actively listen. So like we have to like what are you feeling? Let's do a check-in. So family meetings are not bad, they're not scolding, they're an emotional check-in. And the family meeting that means that he's feeling out of control or out of touch or he's angry and he needs to tell us. And then we have a code word that if we're out in public or like on a play date, he uses that code word and our heads swivel, like, okay, we'll do an emotional check-in. He's used it a few times and I was proud of him, so like that, just having.
Speaker 1:And sometimes he doesn't want to talk, but I do, so I'm stubborn, being Hispanic, I love that about me and I'm a Taurus. Um, I will sit there. I was like, okay, we're gonna sit here and I'm gonna wait you, but we're not doing anything until you tell me how you're feeling. Because we're at a stop roads. My husband's like no, let him know. I was like no, because we did a play date and that little boy did not. He just threw a tantrum and tantrums. You know that's, that's, that's going to happen. But he just like would not talk to his mom and ollie adopted that the one play date. And I was like no, and exhibit just mimic the behavior of crossed arms. No, I don't have to talk to you, you're not the boss of me. I was like no, like we're a family and we speak and that's a rule. It's like part of our family.
Speaker 1:Mission statement is like well, I can't fix it, I can't address it, I can't make our evening better until I know how you feel and I will sit here until you tell me. Would you like me to hug you? Would you want me to hold you? Do you want a glass of water, but we're going to sit here until we do. So that's also another role, like, if you don't want to talk about it, I'm going to give you some space to talk about it, but I'm sitting here until you're ready Because, also, I'm going to show up for you, even if you may not see that you need me. So that is like all I sometimes think about, like what did I need at seven and how did I want to do it? Because he's again very much like me. But, and I tell my husband, he goes, how do you know what to do for him? Like me, but, and I tell my husband, he goes how do you know what to do for him?
Speaker 2:I'm like think about when I was seven and how I could have like how things could have been a lot easier for me, and that's what I do for Ollie. Yeah, you're repairing that, parenting and showing up.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that's what I was doing until you mentioned it. Thank you for bringing that to light for me. I received that so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know, like you said, you're changing that generational pattern. Some people call it generational trauma, generational curse, generational pattern it's. You're shifting to change it and allowing emotions to be there, Cause what happened is, a lot of times, little human beings aren't allowed to feel they're authentic because it disrupts the adult and the adult hasn't been able to interact with their own emotions. So how can you hold space for another human if you haven't even interacted with your own inner space? And that's where it becomes really charged up. And that's where it becomes really charged up. And I thank you for showing what it looks like to not be the parent and child. It's like human to human.
Speaker 2:How am I going to model what it looks like to be human and what it looks like in real time that you're going to raise your voice, you're going to say some things that, oh, in the moment you didn't realize the harm or the hurt it may do. Yet you're coming back with the repair of acknowledging. You know what. I did this and I apologize. And you know, say whatever you have to say about what that felt like for you, so that we can repair that connection. Yet I'm human and we're not always going to be. I think people get confused with this gentle parenting and thinking oh well, you're going to be perfect and I know it's, there's a lot of.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you, when Ollie came out of me, I was super crunchy and not so crunchy now, like we eat processed foods and all the things and he's fully vaxxed, but like I, I breastfed ollie for four years. I, baby, I, baby wore, I, I co-slept like I did all of the gentle parent, attachment parenting is really what we identified with and it benefited us and it's very effedent but, um, it creates for very strong children. The attachment parenting which is very similar to gentle parenting, but like nobody says, like I think the biggest thing for me was I had a postpartum doula who became a very dear friend of mine and I just refused to do life without her now and I just refuse to do life without her now and she's also a parenting coach, but she's an attachment parenting coach or a positive parenting, that's what it's called now. And she said nobody will tell you, but it's okay for him to cry, it's okay for you to cry. So, like when I decided to evict him from my bed.
Speaker 1:We only do things until they're no longer working. Because I used to make plans five years ahead and I've been on podcasts recently like what does the next five years. Look like I was like I don't know. I shift too much to plan more than to the end of the year and even then that's probably going to shift because I live and change things. I'm not erratic but I move things very fast. So I don't know where we're going to be in five years. But I know we're homeschooling when we get to middle school and we're not going to be in the U? S but like that's all I know. But for for us it's like know, um, but for for us it's like I when he I was like you need to, I need better sleep. This is not working for me anymore. I need you to go sleep in your own bed. And like when I told her she's like he's gonna cry, I was like oh, then I can't do it. He can't be upset. She goes, he's a to cry. I was like and he's allowed to be upset.
Speaker 1:I was like rachel, what am going to do with that? He's going to cry. I mean like he's seven. Of course I'm not breastfeeding him, but like you know, but like that was my solution for years was like, oh so, like he sleeps in his own bed, but we have a family bedroom, so he sleeps in our room because he doesn't want to leave and but he sleeps in his own bed. But like he just it might be adjacent to my bed where he can touch my head, he reaches over and he touches my head.
Speaker 1:So like milestones, so, but like I didn't understand that it was okay for him to cry in the gentle parenting, attachment, parenting, because but he's allowed to feel that and it's you're allowed to talk him through that. But you, I didn't know that. I was supposed to be prepared for that. Like. So, like, if your child is crying and they're hitting certain milestones, it might be okay, check in. You know I'm not a parenting coach. I'm doing life, like you know, out here wild. So like check. But I have, I have a resource. I always text her. I'm like I don't know what to do here. What do I? I do, and she always gives us suggestions and you know we so like check in to see like there's resources. But yeah, it's okay for them to cry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because the upset they're feeling the discomfort of fear and they have to learn to self-regulate. And what you are for your son is his self-regulation and he's not learning to self-regulate by himself.
Speaker 1:It's like he would when he was like your nervous system.
Speaker 2:Like you, were anchored in your father's nervous system.
Speaker 3:Oh, oh, whoa.
Speaker 2:Patterns are speaking.
Speaker 1:No, what just happened here. Wait a minute, so normally people can't take a moment that's what his nervous system was my dad's nervous system was fucked up, so that means why I was so fucked up until, like, I severed the court way years after he died but it was still in. It makes sense because all he couldn't sleep for the longest time, like at daycare. He would keep himself awake until, like I, changed jobs and I was able to go breastfeed him during lunch break, and then he would fall asleep.
Speaker 1:He would keep himself awake or like he would keep himself awake all day if I didn't go and like we even hired a sleep coach and he wouldn't. He would, he and the, the pediatricians. Like if he doesn't get more sleep, he's gonna like like he needs more sleep, he's gonna digress. Um, I was like oh my gosh. But then like also like oh yeah, he has a fear of being alone. Yeah, he's like if I'm moving to the house, huh, Do you feel the download right now?
Speaker 2:Okay, Just take a moment to feel the download. Okay In my world. As I said, I understand the nervous system and I go.
Speaker 1:How do I break that?
Speaker 2:It's not about. It's not about breaking it. It's about feeling it within yourself, because there's still some fear and some charges. What happens with nervous systems? Nervous systems create new nervous systems, so the charges keep coming up unless we face it. So there's things that you face with your father, yet there's still a fear and there's an avoidance. I don't you cannot see your son feel uncomfortable right now. Like I just said, what I teach parents the most difficult thing you'll have to do is see your child go through pain and not be able to do anything about it. That is a threat, an absolute threat, and it will signal bonkers in your system. Does he ride a bike?
Speaker 1:No, he doesn't like bikes. He's scared of bikes.
Speaker 2:Okay. Has he fallen and scraped his knee or injured himself in these seven?
Speaker 1:years. Yeah, from a scooter, yeah.
Speaker 2:How did that feel?
Speaker 1:I felt really bad, Like I wanted to fix it. I Reiki'd it right away. We cleaned it Like yeah, yeah, he has a dairy allergy. Like he has had coconut reactions, he has like a deathly allergy. So when we've had an incident over the summer like that was like full panic In postpartum. Those panics were debilitating. Now they're a lot easier to manage, but like in postpartum it was a full body shutdown, painful, like panic attacks, daggers everywhere in my body. But now it's more of like. It's a lot easier to manage.
Speaker 2:You know that feeling that you get when you're like you're going to tell me how you're feeling and we're not going to leave this space. Yes, I need to know it. That's the same control your father used on you.
Speaker 1:So it's not healthy then.
Speaker 2:Not, not for everything, not everything we're supposed to reveal, like you're not supposed to know everything about his, his inner state. How's he going to regulate himself if he always has to check in with you to talk about what I'm feeling, because you're just trying to control that he doesn't go in these emotional dysregulations and fuck up the whole environment? And there's also a part where you don't want to.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to avoid the habit of him shutting down where he doesn't share. So I'm trying to force him to share.
Speaker 2:That doesn't help. He has to be willing to do it on his own. You're not helping him to heal on his own, you're forcing him. I'm the solution. So I could only do this with you because you do Reiki, so you can understand this energetically. Other people I would try they get some resistance. I understand this energetically. Other people I would try they get some resistance. But it's snapping so quickly with you right now because you understand Reiki and the energy and you're willing to see yourself.
Speaker 1:I can change this though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course You've been changing things. It's just facing the fear and facing the repair. You thought you're all like your dad and I love the universe, I love it, I love what I have to do, like you know how you say. You see, these babies, it's 10 years tomorrow for your father, it's 10 years for me, almost dying. And this is the serendipity of okay, you're ready for this next dimension to walk into? You're ready to release this fear that you've been holding on to and really shifting the pattern.
Speaker 1:You know this will validate what you're saying. You know this will validate what you're saying. I spent most of my life in fear of my dad, or the fear of his absence, and then, once I had the presence of my dad, it was really scary. Oh, I can't wait to have a conversation with Ollie later. We're going to go out to dinner because we have the best conversations at Olive Garden.
Speaker 2:But like that fear of losing him. Oh, no, that was always been my biggest fear of losing.
Speaker 1:Ollie.
Speaker 2:Fear of losing him emotionally, psychologically, all these different.
Speaker 1:No, him dying.
Speaker 2:No, I know, but that fear translates into everything after. That's how the nervous system is so complex and so subtle with things that, yeah, you're afraid of him dying, but then it goes out even more of well.
Speaker 1:I don't want to do this. Our family has cancel culture so they quit people. So like my brother and sister quit my dad. He got too difficult. They said sayonara. So like I was the only child left right before he died they had strong boundaries.
Speaker 2:It's not cancel culture. They had strong boundaries. That I'm not even think about that way.
Speaker 1:You know, that's true. They did have. I'm an adult now.
Speaker 2:I'm not a child and I'm not here, and I was.
Speaker 1:It was never my responsibility to take care of see, as as an adult, I would say that now, but when I was, when I was, when I was enduring that, so that was the narrative. God, you're giving me so many blockages so like, so many, like. So, when I was the narrative, I always said, well, they were toxic. They said peace out, they quit him. No, but like if I, if they were a client, that no, but like if I if they were a client, that no, they did. Because my dad was fucking difficult. Like I said, he was the most hardest person to, to, to have to.
Speaker 2:He dysregulated your nervous system because his was so intense and because of that connection of parent and child recognize as a child you took it on the responsibility to be emotionally responsible for your, your father's, mental state that's what's happening with your son?
Speaker 1:he's taking it on to be responsible for my state.
Speaker 2:No, you're still trying to be responsible for your son's mental state and his emotional state. Come tell me what's going on so I can help walk you through this. And there's nothing. That was my job. No, I understand that, not 24-7. Not to the point where.
Speaker 1:Only when he comes to me, or as an as a big moment something.
Speaker 2:When you see something it's allowing, okay, I can see that I'll know then like I shouldn't overthink that part I, I see that you feel some stuff.
Speaker 2:When you're ready, I, I want to talk about this, and then not, we're not doing anything till you talk to me, because there's still that, that desperate grasp. It's like, okay, you're feeling something and it's like, if he can work it out on his own, that's the self-regulation. And then it's later on being able to, when he's regulated, can we talk about what that was? Can you give it language now? So what you're doing is right, everything that of helping.
Speaker 1:I can just do it, not, but like just having the clarity of like I was rooted in my dad's nervous system and I don't need to be rooted with Ollie, whether he's in mine or I'm in his. I'm allowed to give him more space, just like the lady told me he's allowed to cry.
Speaker 2:The autonomy, the self-regulation.
Speaker 1:And even think about that. He's allowed autonomy over his emotions, but like and also sharing them. You've given me such an expansion today. I am so.
Speaker 2:Well, I want to thank your father.
Speaker 1:He's on the other side of love. Now he's on my shelf. Um, because I am super well, I I do. I am grateful for for him, because if he, it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have awakened up, because I think I was just living life on motion. And then the next thing is is like I wouldn't be half the parents letting him to Ollie that I'm really proud of If it weren't for the polarizing experiences I had with him.
Speaker 2:And you wouldn't be the magnificent human being you are right now.
Speaker 1:Ooh, that is big I. I will work on receiving that.
Speaker 2:I've never called myself magnificent but I will receive that and that will be next layer, Thank you. Thank you for this wonderful conversation. I love when we can do a deep dive and I can reflect back to a person. You know what is going on in their nervous system so they can just shift their perception. All we did was shift your perception to see it even more in depth, to see yourself, I'm so blown away by you.
Speaker 1:You are a gift, and what you've seen is going to change everything for me.
Speaker 2:I'm so grateful for you I'm thankful for this interaction because it's one in a million. So you shifting your nervous system, the energy around you just changes.
Speaker 1:It vibrates out oh my gosh and I have ricky sessions today, later today.
Speaker 2:I can't wait yeah, it's gonna change the and even now, with you seeing this, it's gonna change the dynamic with your son, just on its own. We think we have to go the outside to help your child build and everything else it's like, no, it's all within us, it's all within us, like this morning I wanted to get on the twins. I have 14 year old twins. Wait till he gets to be a teenager. And I was like, okay, usually I have to like get up, do your lunches, cause they have to do their lunches and get themselves ready and everything else. And one of them was supposed to put their clothes away. He didn't put it away. And one of them was supposed to put their clothes away. He didn't put it away. I wanted to nip, nip, nip. I just sat and then all of a sudden they started asking each other oh, should I wear this, should I wear that? And they don't usually get along. And they were just going and I was like I stopped interfering but then of course, one asked well, should I go do this?
Speaker 2:and he was like no. And then I was like why are you doing? He was like why are you doing? He's like mom, why are you interfering? Stay out of it. I'm like it's the settle of silence and allowing curiosity to see and we are the space in the container for them to be messy.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, to be messy, uh, yes, yeah, we're supposed to be the safe space for them to like the first hour after they come home from school messy, the fear, the trying to figure it out, finding, and you got to remember their path is going to look different than yours, it's true.
Speaker 2:They're going to be a different human being because they have a different life purpose than you have. So they have to create their tools for the world Mistakes, to grow, to live in 100%.
Speaker 2:But it's hard. It's difficult Like we want perfection, we don't want our children harmed, and it's like there's going to be pain, like there's parts that you can avoid, that um, you're not harming, yet the pain is inevitable. That's what life is like, I say the strongest like parenting. No one prepares them. The the most difficult thing is watching your child go through pain and not trying to change it, fix it, soothe it. It's like pain is our teacher.
Speaker 1:You should put that on a mug.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I say it to people and I let them get the download. You see, I got to market myself even more with all these things. So, yeah's, you know it's in real time. So when I connect with people it's like, okay, I can regulate, I got because now I get it. When I say, um, your name with an r, and I saw that, I was like, oh, there's something with her dad and that just triggered something hearing that and it was like I identify.
Speaker 1:A lot of my identity is wrapped up in being Hispanic or like identifying more with that and like that side yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was like when I said Carolina, she was like, yeah, it's okay, but I would like Carolina. I was like, okay, all right, but I could see that that did something. It was like, oh okay, let's tease it out in this podcast and see what will come out.
Speaker 1:I love how observing you are. Thank you so much for having me. I truly love sharing space with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, can you let the listeners know where they can find you?
Speaker 1:Sure. You can find me on all major social media platforms at the Carolina Sotomayor or carolinasotomayor. Sure. You can find me on all major social media platforms at the Carolina Sotomayor or carolinasotomayorcom, and I would love to connect with you. Send me a DM, let me know what you think of this episode and I'm always open to having conversations.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for being the guest and being so vulnerable and open in this conversation. Thank you so much Sharing your gift with so many other families, because it's not just the woman they are attached to somebody else which makes an impact in the world. So thank you for sharing those gifts. Thank you, remember to be kind to yourself.
Speaker 1:I will, I will.
Speaker 2:Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, come into a discovery call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.