A Deep Dive into Subconscious Narratives, Mindfulness, and Women's Empowerment

Embark on a transformative journey with me, Nat Nat, as we peel back the layers of the subconscious to reveal the profound narratives shaping our lives. In a world where self-defeating patterns often hold us captive, I'm thrilled to be joined by Denise Miceli, an intuitive life coach whose insights into mindfulness and intuition are nothing short of empowering. Together, we unveil the secrets to rewriting our internal scripts and embrace the neuroplasticity that allows us to break free from the shackles of people-pleasing perfectionism and procrastination.

With the wisdom shared by Denise, we delve into the art of self-care and the cathartic process of emotional release. Discover the vital shifts that occur when we challenge the limiting stories we've internalized and how this can lead to greater fulfillment. We also take a moment to engage in a meditation that illuminates the potential for empowerment within us all. Denise's personal transformation from a sensitive child to an empowered adult serves as a testament to the changes possible when we commit to deep inner work.

As we explore the unique challenges faced by women over 40, I aim to shed light on the complexities of perimenopause and societal pressures. Our discussion provides practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries and navigating the intricate dynamics of relationships with grown children and partners. By exchanging personal stories and insights, we celebrate the resilience and strength found in communities of supportive women. Together, let's step into a space where mindfulness practices not only heal but also integrate seamlessly into our daily existence, fostering a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

Find out more about Denise Miceli Here
rockyourblocks.com

Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help.
Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others.
The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces.
I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.

Our website
Https://.LiftOneself.com

Find more conversations on our Social Media pages
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Music by prazkhanal

Remember to be kind to yourself.

Always do your own research before taking action.

Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help.
Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others.
The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces.
I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.

Our website
LiftOneself.com

Find more conversations on our Social Media pages
www.facebook.com/liftoneself
www.instagram.com/liftoneself

Music by prazkhanal

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello.

Speaker 2: 0:01

Hi Denise, how are you?

Speaker 1: 0:03

I'm good. How are you doing today?

Speaker 2: 0:06

I'm well. I'm well. Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there. We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself.

Speaker 1: 0:44

For many people, they're just like what do you mean? The subconscious right? They're like I don't really get it. So I like to talk about just what has happened either in my life or in clients' lives, and how it shows up so that people can try to connect to it. First off, what is the subconscious mind and why is it important and what's the power of it? It's really like an iCloud of our memories and our most intense emotions we had in our life. We don't have to have specifically a trauma or a trauma memory, but it could just simply have been not feeling seen, not feeling fully accepted.

Speaker 1: 1:28

Maybe your family thought you were a certain way, and so I talk about the stories that we hear about ourselves and how, when they're different than what we feel inside, that's where we create these sort of protective parts or inner critics, right, that later in life we're like we want to go and do something and we're like we hear this voice in our head that says, oh, you're not going to be able to do that right, or we have friends or family that we talk to about our ideas and right away there comes a critic right at us again. So it reminds ourselves and our subconscious. You know who do you think you are? You know all of that stuff imposter syndrome, right. For some of us that want to have our own business, we're like, oh, but you have such a good, stable job, and you know all of those messages that we've been told over our lives, especially as women. You know many of us in our generation that we grew up it was like we weren't really supposed to do all these kinds of things and so, even though we have become different than our parents, we still hold those things. So that's really how the subconscious is so powerful when we want to create change, because those inner saboteurs come up up.

Speaker 1: 2:41

And so in my life I have an example of how I was in a career. I was very good at it, but it was no longer making me happy, and so many people can relate, right, whether it's a career relationship, but for me I had invested in degrees, I had 20 years in and I just started to feel so sad and so like just hollow, like it just wasn't fulfilling anymore. And you know, part of what I had to face was that I did it because it was like you know, like I said, the job with the benefits and all of those things that we're told we have to have, you know and I. But I knew that there was something else that I wanted to do, and I didn't know specifically what it was. And so it was through this process of really looking back over my life, and I had done conscious therapies, and I talk about the difference between the two.

Speaker 1: 3:33

When we talk to our subconscious mind, it's not any. You know, people think the subconscious mind is weak because it can be hypnotized. Right, that's what most people think of, right? Oh, is this hypnosis? You know, the subconscious mind is so dumb it can be hypnotized. Actually, it's the opposite. It's so impressionable that we can give it different messaging. And if we start to say different things and look at things from a different perspective, instead of always focusing on what's not working and the inner critic and all of that, then we can make change happen. So through this process, I learned how to speak to the subconscious, and it is very much linked to what a lot of people are doing now in neuro-linguistic programming.

Speaker 1: 4:18

We know that the brain is plastic, we know we can change our brains and so, given all of that new research, it's not really new, but it's just new that it's being shared so much now. That's why there's so much about this. Joe Dispenza, dr Bruce Lipton they all talk about how we can change our brain and we have much more power over it if we deal with these parts of us from long ago. And when we do that, and when I did that, it created a space in me to say, oh my gosh, what would I really enjoy more? We don't even sometimes allow ourselves to think of that because we think it's not within our reach. But if we go back over our lives, we could probably find that we had dreams we followed. It may have taken a long time, right, we wanted a relationship. We could probably find that we had dreams we followed. It may have taken a long time, right, we wanted a relationship, we wanted a child, whatever, and it came to be. But we don't focus on those things, right, we focus on what's not there A lot of people relate to, especially in my course.

Speaker 1: 5:18

We work a lot on people-pleasing behaviors that we adopt and women. Sometimes we adopt them only in one area, like with a boss or with a partner. Sometimes it's in all parts of our lives, because maybe our whole family, all the women in our family, did this right. It's very common. So we can talk about that. We can talk about perfectionism, how that can just kind of freeze us and stay in a locked mode, and procrastination, so I call it the three P's, the people pleasing.

Speaker 1: 5:47

Perfectionism and procrastination. And all of that makes us stay stuck in either relationships or jobs where we don't feel connected to who we really are, and that's where women, most people with any kind of mental issues that they're struggling with they're either going to get sad or they're going to get anxious. There's like a continuum, and I say that depression is when we're sad about what happened and we keep asking why, why, why me, right. And then anxiety is like the other end, where we go well, I've got to be able to control every outcome. Right, we focus on what we can't control, which, even though we can do things to plan out our future, in that ultimately, you know we can't rely on other people to change that for us. Oh, my partner will understand at some point, or, you know, my boss will be nicer to me, or you know, we have to change our own perspective. So that's really the you know what I try to talk about, to get people to realize that. You know, if you've been trying a lot of things but yet you're still feeling stuck, maybe this is a way of connecting. And then how do we get started? I like to give a couple of tips.

Speaker 1: 6:56

At mindfulness, everyone says this, but it's so true. Simply quieting your mind every day has now been shown. The studies are showing that people who meditate and they're in their fifties and they've been doing it for a while their brain gray matter is the same as a 25 year old. So we know that mindfulness, whatever it looks like. So part of what I do in my courses, in my individual and in my small groups is I help people find what resonates for them with mindfulness. Is it breath, is it beautiful music, you know? Find what brings you joy and just quiet your mind and just listen, be in that. Maybe walking meditation is your thing, walking in the morning. And then I also have a little thing that I it's actually part of my lead magnet, which is how do you deal with triggering?

Speaker 1: 7:52

Because triggering is very much about what is unresolved in your subconscious and it's also why you have such an intense reaction and you're like why did that make me so damn angry? Right, maybe it was a way someone spoke to another woman or whatever it is, and so you know, I like to give some advice on triggering. So that's kind of the range. And so, based on what you have, because you know, I've kind of come to podcasts where I look in. Their last episode was on imposter syndrome. I'm like, okay, we don't want to do two in a row, you know.

Speaker 1: 8:24

So, based on what you have which, I have to say, I haven't listened to your podcast yet and I'm really sorry I haven't got to it. But I do follow you and I will definitely do that and I definitely do reviews and I like to share not just the episodes that you know that you're in, but other relevant that I'm in on your show, but other relevant episodes to my audience, because I have an audience where they need nurturing. Before they're going to join a group with me or work with me, they need to know like and trust right. They need to see that I'm not just creating stuff but I'm also in communities of women that are looking to support them as well. So I'll stop there and let ask me, let me know what you think and what we should focus on.

Speaker 2: 9:09

Well, you've dived in a lot which I'll be able to use in the podcast of explaining different things. I want to welcome you to the Lift One Self podcast. Denise, will you join me in a meditation Because, as you just said, mindfulness. This is how I start all of my podcasts.

Speaker 1: 9:29

Oh, I love that, that's beautiful. Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 9:33

I am of the, I recognize a lot of people think meditation is to only sit on a cushion and have everything quiet and home and right. Where you start at, that beginner, because you have to interact with your nervous system, which is a very strong biology. And once you can start interacting with the biology, it's to take the meditation into your everyday life. And so this little meditation that I'll invite us into it's one that I help my clients to start to build with themselves, and that they can see that within a minute or two, just doing this simple exercise, it may feel very daunting at the beginning, or very daunting at the beginning, or very long.

Speaker 2: 10:30

Yet you also see the benefits of taking those pauses for yourself, doing a check-in with your biology, doing a check-in with, as you're saying, the subconscious of where are you? What are you navigating in? Is there triggers that have been activated? Because a lot of people don't realize when you have wounds in you, your triggers something may have happened yesterday, but it's only going to come out today, and so you're thinking just right now where it's like well, something happened yesterday that you didn't allow to process, you didn't face it, you just stored it in that junk drawer, and the build up becomes too much and then your biology is like we got to offload this, we got to dump this, because the body's getting overwhelmed with the nervous system being on hypervigilant too much. So I do these meditations to walk the talk that I'm talking and really invite the listeners to come into that.

Speaker 1: 11:21

That's how I start my sessions with my clients, whether it's one-on-one or small group. I'm like, okay, today we're gonna practice this. You know, whatever it is, sometimes it's like a little body, upper body, relaxation, breath, all different things, and that way you know they can see that it has variety, just like anything else, there's not one way to do it and, like you said, some days it even for experienced meditators, some days it just doesn't feel like it works right, because our brain is just, but you keep trying right. It's not about perfection, but I love that, all right, awesome well, it's not even trying.

Speaker 2: 11:58

It's just being aware what's going on inside yourself.

Speaker 2: 12:01

That's what meditation is just awareness, and sometimes you're very aware and can not be identified with the nervous system. Other times you're in the thick of it and your brain is going, and you know, as it's supposed to. You're not supposed to not have thoughts, you're supposed to. That's what the brain's function is it's to learn, to create a space of not identifying with it. Yet if you are not engaging with your biology, your nervous system, you're not understanding and your behavior is being hijacked by these shadows that are inside you.

Speaker 1: 12:39

Yes, and that reactivity can really have a tremendous consequence on your hormones, your health. You know all of that, so we're on the same page there. Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2: 12:51

For the listeners as I guide Denise and I in a meditation. A lot of you are listening to the podcast, either driving or doing some kind of activity For the visual. I would ask you not to do that. Keep your eyes open. I want you to keep safe and everybody around you safe. Yet the other prompts you're able to do with whatever activity that you are doing.

Speaker 2: 13:17

So, denise, I'll ask you to close your eyes and get comfortable in your seat and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose and you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose. Don't try to control your breath. Just allow it to have its own rhythm and observe, while still staying focused on the breath going in through your nostrils and, if you can, all the way down into your lungs, into your belly, and feeling the exhale, whatever sensations or feelings that may be coming up in the body. You're safe to feel them. You're safe to let go, surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be. Be with your breath, drop into your body, keep your awareness on your breath.

Speaker 2: 14:51

Denise, I'm going to ask you in your mind to create an intention you want to bring forth in this conversation and for the listeners. When you've created that intention, I'll ask you to release it in your thoughts, in your mind, down into your nervous system, in your throat, your voice, your vocal cords, down into your heart, down into your chest, your belly, your life force, while still staying with your breath, allowing that intention to expand in your energy force, to expand in your energy force, still staying with your breath, feeling that intention surround you and at your own pace, you're going to gently open your eyes, while still staying with your breath. How's your heart doing? Feels good. Can you let the listeners know who?

Speaker 1: 16:20

Denise is Sure. So I am an intuitive life coach and I enjoy helping and sharing my knowledge and wisdom about the subconscious mind and curating your own mindfulness practice, which, of course, is part of the learning and it's part of maintaining the good self inner work that you do. So it's really like seals it. It's so. That's my passion and that's what I do. I write. So that's my passion and that's what I do. I write, I produce audio.

Speaker 1: 17:21

It's a limited number of people to teach how what the subconscious is, why it's so powerful and how it can keep us stuck. But once we identify those stuck parts of us, we can feel the emotions. A lot of times we hold it in because we're afraid to feel us. We can feel the emotions A lot of time. We hold it in because we're afraid to feel it. We can feel it, we can understand it a little better and then we can release it. So it really isn't about talking about the stuff, because we've done that, and it's really more about getting in touch with the emotion or the memory and then speaking directly to it and just releasing it from having that hold and, of course, with the mindfulness, the breath work, we come and soothe the nervous system and teach that as long as we're doing that, we can keep ourselves from being less reactive to the past, to the present, to things that might trigger us in our daily life.

Speaker 1: 18:20

And for many years I worked with groups and I really have always spent I think the theme of my whole life has been to help people change, whether it's been groups, large groups, small groups and so as I moved into this phase of my life where I discovered that what I was doing was no longer making me happy, then I began to see that what really was waiting for me was creating these experiences for small groups of women and also a few individual women that were ready to learn how they could really empower themselves when they get to know this sort of inner work that can completely transform your life if you're willing to be open to it. So that's how I came to create your blocks and the theme, which is make anything in your life possible Instead of thinking, oh, I can never do that, we can change that narrative.

Speaker 2: 19:15

So very powerful. What got you on the path? You say from very young that you've been one to empower and help women or help others. How did this begin and how did you come up with the title intuitive coach?

Speaker 1: 19:31

So that's very much connected to how I got started so young, because as a youngster I felt very different than my family. We know that up until about age 12 and longer, but critically, our brains are still forming. Really, a lot of our choices at that time are so geared towards being loved, to being accepted and loved. So many times if we hear our parents or other important people saying things about us, whether or not they're true, we start to go oh well, maybe if I act that way they'll like me more. You know, we don't do this consciously. It is a subconscious part of us that begins to say, okay, I couldn't be like this. And so as a youngster I didn't realize back then, but I realized it a little bit later on that I was very much taking on the issues of what was going on in my household, needed to rescue, and so I became a caregiver, a rescuer, taking care, making sure when I got home that things were all okay, and then I would go and read or do art or garden or do all of these things that were just not. It was kind of like, hmm, what is she doing? So I did feel that that stuff was important to me, but I didn't realize how highly sensitive I was even at that age, like I couldn't come home and not read the energy and sort of make sure everything was okay. And so when I became a teenager, I started looking for ways to calm myself because I found that dealing with all of that was a lot, you know in my family.

Speaker 1: 21:15

So I started meditating at like 15 and 16. I remember reading it and even earlier I would do these like guided. I didn't know what I was doing, honestly, but I would the sleepover parties with my girlfriends. I would do the sleep talk towns. I didn't realize what I was doing, but they loved it. They were like, oh, we want D there because you know she's going to help us get all chilled out and everyone get their sleeping bags. And I would just start talking and I, you know, I just thought it was fun and all of that good stuff.

Speaker 1: 21:46

But later when I read I remember the first meditation book I read was TM, right, and that was like the skinny little book. I read it like in an hour or something and I was like oh, wow. And I started to go into yoga and all of these things and realize that there was another way than what, the spiritual experience that I grew up with, which was Catholicism, which I very much rejected. So it was through that journey that I saw that I was different, that I came upon those tools at a very young age, and so over the years they changed many times.

Speaker 1: 22:20

You know, you try Kundalini, you try all these different things, and so that's what I tell people. It's not like you have to decide what mindfulness you like and then stay with it forever. You can change it, you know, and guided is really nice in the beginning because you can just let go, you know, and now sometimes I really, because there's such amazing beautiful sound healing. I like to just have a sound healing and just really work on honing that, clearing the mind you know that, seeing the thoughts and watch them go by and all of that.

Speaker 1: 22:58

So, yeah, it was really you know me hearing these different voices and seeing that I was really trying to live up to them. But it wasn't who I really was, and it really kind of empowered me to later realize that I really had a strong intuition, like an, you know, an empathy, but an empathetic soul, like where I really could sense what was going on with someone and that they needed help, even when they couldn't even articulate it. So I really knew that I was going to do something. Initially it was teaching, but then it was leading and helping people to determine if they were doing the right thing for others. You know that they are. Were they guiding others in the right direction? Were they really self-aware about how they were trying to teach, and that kind of thing. So that's the career that I got into, that I had such a passion for. But then, as I developed more and more, I love developing solutions for things and I realized that I was way far out of the bureaucratic structure and they didn't want that, and so I was like really felt that energy getting stifled by that and that's what led me to, you know, eventually realize that you know I needed to do something different to really be able to blossom in the way that you know, really to dig deeper. Why was I so able to go and see someone teach, for example, and then ask them questions that would really get at what was going wrong, right, when I first started doing it, I used to go tell them and then I was like no, no, no, they have to come to it, right, you have to say to them, okay, how was that, how was that for you, how did you think it was received, and all of that stuff. And it gives you a lot of information, you know.

Speaker 1: 25:00

So I enjoy now taking it to like a personal level and especially love the small group, because you know some people who haven't done it. They're like, oh, they're intimidated. I'm like it's totally, you have to build that trust, right, but you have the safety of maybe you don't feel like talking, but you come into the group and you hear another woman articulate something and it just goes right to your heart, you know. So you can come there and heal without even really opening up that day, just by what you heard and the power of that. To me it's organic and it's real and authentic. And people will come back and, you know, later, reach out to me and say, oh my gosh, I can't even, I couldn't even speak. That that was so exactly how I felt, you know, when this other thing happened to me. So it's the power of that energy and coming together with a desire for the learning, the desire for creating the change in life. So, yeah, that's the excitement for me?

Speaker 1: 26:03

yeah, it's beautiful.

Speaker 2: 26:04

It's beautiful to create those sacred circles for women to be able to come out of the narration of society that that has placed on women and then them not even being able to see what they do to themselves internally.

Speaker 1: 26:22

And so when women come to you are is the emotion, anger coming up, you know anger is definitely more present now and one of the things I've learned because my my first degree was in psychology, so I do have a background in it is that anger is often showing up when we press down sadness. So really, anger is like there's like a kettle of sadness boiling over that we aren't tending to and you know, and I think that's why we see so much more triggering, whether it's in women or men, but women we're under attack for where they're trying to take us back centuries in terms of, like what we can and can't do. You know, and I love reading history, because I just, whether it's historical fiction or actual history, it's so real that things repeat and so people who don't study or read anything about it they don't understand like we've lived this already. Come on, and you know so there is, I think, in women a lot of pent up anger. And I read something, because my clients are mostly women over 40, you know, 40s to 50s is a big time of transition.

Speaker 1: 27:37

It's in our bodies, right, the perimenopause or menopause, it starts to mess with us. But there's also this thing called the rushing woman syndrome and many women in their 40s, like they're in the throes of their careers, really lit up. They have kids, they have or desire to have kids, and the clock is ticking and their relationships changing. And all of these things are happening at one time and it's actually the time when we start to have those menopausal changes, that we need to have more of a calm and centered life, because of course it's going to be easier, but it can, and for me it wasn't like that at all. I was going through all those changes and so I can tell you that I feel my perimenopause was way worse than what came later, because it was so hard to navigate, because you didn't know what was going on with that you know hormonal system in the body. So I think that when we have all those external things that you know as forties and up women, we dealt with that.

Speaker 1: 28:36

Our families were very, you know, sort of backward in terms of what they thought women should do, and my family I was the first one to even want to go to college and it was kind of like why they just really didn't understand it and I was like because I want something different. All of the women in my family were either married, had children, or worked at a bank or worked in a factory or they were working class women and nothing against it. But I knew I didn't want to do that and so it was very. That was another point. That was a convincing point for me in my life that you are different. It is okay to want something more and you don't have to follow that path, but it was the expectation. You know, still to this day, my mom still has the knight in shining armor story really down hard, you know, and I have, you know, two other sisters and we all felt that pressure of like marriage and having children and all of those things. So when you look at those things and then you see the way it is all under attack and it's not just our country, right, it's not just our country right, it's not just the U? S where these freedoms are under attack. It's like, yeah, I think that you know that women need support right now and they need to understand that we are. We all have to kind of link arms and and help each other through it.

Speaker 1: 30:01

And I think one of the biggest things that women struggle with is this people pleasing because just even the sound of it like it is a behavior, it's not a person, right? I don't like it when people say, oh, you're a people pleaser. But the fact of the matter is, if we have that embedded in us, like with me, I didn't realize that I had that going on because I thought here I was the rebel, right? No, I was doing that in my personal relationship. So I stepped out of the ring in terms of my career and wanting to go to college and left, went to college early even, which was like they were like what are you doing to us? Because I was a rescuer, and so I'm sure part of why I wanted to go early was I was bored with school, but also I was like let me get the heck out of here, right?

Speaker 1: 30:46

But at the same time there was a part of me that held on to those things that were expected of me, and so when I got into relationships, I found myself being a people pleaser in that part of my life, and I didn't realize until later that I was. You know, we don't realize that when we do that with whatever part of our life, we're not taking responsibility for who we really are and what we need. And so it's that self-responsibility first, because we can't just like have an aha moment right being in a group or talking to a friend and have this oh my gosh, I'm doing that, and then just like, turn around and go back to our partner and just like start demanding things. We have to have them in the loop and say, hey, you know what, I realized I'm doing this and I'm going to have to do some work on my boundaries. So, you know, this is what it's going to feel like or look like, and I actually, you know, give people concrete ideas for that. You know, especially ones that are parents and now you know it's later in life that their kids are used to having full on access, 24 seven access, and they have grown kids Doesn't matter what you're doing, they're coming in the door.

Speaker 1: 31:57

So I, I, I got the most simple solution for this. You can start by saying you know, when I'm in a session, like a healing session, I'm going to have a little dangler on my doorknob that says please do not interrupt. You have to at least take responsibility. That look I. There is time during the week where I'm going to be in this healing group and if you don't start somewhere with them, because there's always right, there's always an emergency, and I used to tell that to my teachers. It's like your. You know, emergency is not my problem at the moment, right, and of course you always have exceptions to those rules.

Speaker 1: 32:36

But if you have no rules, do not expect people to be happy when you suddenly have the boundaries. You have to talk to them. You have to realize it's not a confrontation and it takes support. It takes, you know, I'll give them little tips. Like you know, someone asks you to do something and you feel yourself ready to do the auto, yes, say, you know what I got to check on that. It'll get back to you. Give yourself space. Don't give an immediate answer. We feel like if we don't give an immediate answer we're not going to be loved, we're not going to be all of those things.

Speaker 1: 33:13

I like to work on, those kinds of core things, the perfectionism, the procrastinating and the people pleasing how we can get caught up in those behaviors really find what it was linked to. I know for me it was very much linked to the structure of my family and it went back generationally and I think that we have to acknowledge the power of those generations, that if all the women in our family were that way, it's going to take conscious work and subconscious work to realize that it was all out of love. We're not seeking to blame anyone. They were doing the best that they can in the times that they lived, but we don't live in those times anymore. We have to empower ourselves and create those boundaries. And you know, even working with teachers, it's like I remember when I first taught that kids don't even know how to ask for something. They don't even know how to ask another student can I borrow a pencil? They're like slap the kid on the back. I'm like hold on. We're going to have a lesson right here about excuse me, do you have a pencil I could borrow? It's like we don't do the most basic human kind of skill structures, even in asking for something that we need physically.

Speaker 1: 34:32

So when it comes to emotionally, you know protecting ourselves or saying you know I don't really like that kind of music. Or you know there's trigger warnings, and I talk about this. We used to never hear that word triggering, but now we have to put trigger warnings on things because we see the amount of people that are're going to another place. You know there's all of these like really difficult themes going on, but I do feel like you know it's important to recognize when that happens, and the key thing I tell people to do is when you can step away. As soon as you can step away. If you start feeling a triggering feeling, step away. But the first thing you should do is say what is the emotion? What is this emotion Can I really identify? And right away you might not be able to. You might need to wait till later and just notice what's coming up in your heart.

Speaker 1: 35:39

So there's like a meditation that I created where it's like how can we get in touch with this triggering by identifying the emotion, then start to meditate on is there a memory that comes with that? Was I ever made to feel, you know, inadequate or made to feel in some way the same emotion as this event triggered in me? And so, creating that linkage, you know, we can start to understand why that intensity is there, you know, and then we can begin to develop a statement to our parts. You know, if it was something like feeling unheard or unseen or not accepted, we can simply say to our part accepted. We can simply say to our part hey, younger part, thank you so much. You know, you might have a name for it, but you don't need one. You can say thank you so much for coming in to protect me, you know, and I realized that I maybe did need some emotional protection when I was young, but I'm not young anymore and I'm strong and you can. You'll always be a part of me. That's the other thing.

Speaker 1: 36:49

We people talk about getting rid of emotions and memories. No, just soften them, just say you know what, you can, sit in the back seat, you'll always be with me, but you don't drive it anymore and I love you, I thank you and you make peace with that part of you so you can operate as a whole. If you're operating with all of these parts that have not been resolved and that feel protective that's the thing about the subconscious is there isn't like a direct line between the subconscious and the conscious we have to dig in there and pull up the weeds and say, okay, you know what this part of me it's okay, it doesn't know that, you're not needing that protection anymore. It's just like if we because I worked a lot on physical health as well it's like when we have a massive event in life, right, and our cortisol goes up, right, our stress hormone that stays up until we address it we may no longer be running from the bear, right, but our body doesn't know that. So unless we do soothing, unless we do calming things, like the breathwork to mindfulness practices, we can have high cortisol and be like why can't I sleep? You know, why am I waking up at 3am, even after we're consciously not thinking about it, but it's sitting there in our subconscious mind. So it's like we've got to do the work on it.

Speaker 1: 38:16

And I remember when I first learned that I was like, oh my gosh, you know, had some traumatic event and you know, or upset with something in the job or with the relationship, and not realize why I still felt like it, even though I kind of like I wasn't thinking about it that much anymore. It's still in the physical body. And so I do like to incorporate, you know, a practice where we check in and we do like a restorative practice where we try to let go of parts of our body that feel they're holding. And oftentimes in the session, when I do one-on-ones, particularly if it's long-term trauma, I've worked with people who were victims of child abuse, who tried every kind of therapy, and they would, during the session, feel a part of their body stiffen, feel a part of their body. Many times with women. It's right here, because they understand that there's something they've been wanting to say that they haven't felt safe to say. So they'll feel a tickle or a tightness in the throat, and so we do like that energetic work on the chakra of the throat and a lot of times, though, it can be that sacral, that right in the center or the heart, you know, if it's heartbreak, but that will come up and we work on just the breath and releasing that in the body, again through a guided sort of a knee drop practice, where it's not about the position, you know, there is positioning that helps you to release.

Speaker 1: 39:51

So I do have, you know, some experience with that. So I like to do, you know, sort of a, a practice that integrates. Are you feeling it in your body? Because that's where my intuition comes in during the session is I will get an intuitive hit, and if it's a small group, I will. I don't necessarily know who it's coming from, but I'll be like okay, let's, let's focus on the throat chakra right now. So it my intuition, once I realized that I had had it for so long, and then I began to do this work more intensely since I left that other career, which was what 2017, I started to feel it deepening, and so that's what I tell people to be excited because in the beginning it's powerful, but it builds with time and what you're able to see and do and create in your life starts to move a little bit faster than when you first started. So, like any practice, we get better at it the more that we do it.

Speaker 1: 40:52

So I I like to just inspire people with those stories and you know that's just a few that I've had but I've helped people really let go of things that they they tried a lot of conscious efforts to, and there's so many modalities you know, even even within the subconscious world. So I know how it is like. You have to feel that sort of connection with someone and you have to find that right person for you. And that's what I love about the women that are out there doing healing right now is that we have so many options right. We have so many different people and approaches and when I opened myself to gosh, I wanted to do something more. I was.

Speaker 1: 41:36

I'll just tell you this quick story. I was on Bumble trying to find other coaches like me, just to be friends with right, and I met a first coach. I met on there because I didn't even know you could do that. As a friend my daughter told me first coach I met she was a subconscious healer. So there you go, I was ready, there was, synchronicity came and you know she wasn't selling it or anything, but we went out and had lunch a few times. We really liked each other. We live close by and she was telling me what you know that was part of her. She has more than that certification, but she was explaining how easy it is and how quick it works and all of that and I was like, okay, I'm going to try this Four weeks, in four weeks.

Speaker 1: 42:21

And I signed up for the certification because I saw things I had worked on for so long just become less important, just become less. You know, my perspective on them shifted so drastically and I saw what I could do, like to really ramp up what I was doing with clients in a conscious way. So what's nice now is that that's the main modality and so we do a little bit. We do a little bit of conscious talking to see where the you know person or group is, and then we move into the mindfulness and then we do the healing. We round it out with clearing and identifying what's going on in the body and the mind. Identifying what's going on in the body and the mind, and yeah, and it's wonderful, so that's.

Speaker 1: 43:08

I'm doing that twice a year. It's a small group program, it's called Fierce Female Unleashed and it is really about you know learning to harness your subconscious mind and your mindfulness practices so that you can, you know, just have more joy in life. I mean, we really were meant to be experiencing joy in this body, in this life. We weren't meant to be struggling, and so many are struggling, and I believe that, no matter what's going on in the world, we can find more joy and more purpose if we can connect with our authentic selves. So that's my, that's my goal.

Speaker 2: 43:52

Can you again let the listeners know where they can find you?

Speaker 1: 43:57

So rock your blocks is going to be the best place. My website so it just put all of those words together and you'll see my social links there and I write articles and so you can choose what you like, because I know some people like to watch videos, some like to listen, so all of those links will be there, including information about coaching, and I do a free call with people who want to just find out if you know, if we're a good fit. And so, yeah, rock your blocks and, uh, hopefully, that dot com dot com.

Speaker 2: 44:30

Yes, okay, so rock your blocks dot com.

Speaker 1: 44:34

And the event that you mentioned before the fierce woman yes, the fierce female is um, we just finished one uh round of, so I'm, you know, asking people to get on my wait list for the next round, which I want to start in probably in May or June. I'm just like working on doing some revision to it. But, yeah, I only do about four to six people max. And but I would love to, you know, have your listeners sign up and kind of get more information about me and see if we, if we, have the right energy to work together. It'd be awesome.

Speaker 2: 45:10

Yeah, I want to thank you for being on the podcast and sharing your gifts. I know there's at least one person that is very interested in how I have it in my mind is, one is a million, so once we impact one person, it ripples out to many others and it's that vibration. So I want to thank you for the light that you're bringing out into the world.

Speaker 1: 45:35

Well, thank you so much. It was my pleasure, I can't tell you just being on these podcasts and knowing that you know each one, like you said, is a connection and it's out there now. You know each one, like you said, is a connection and it's out there now. You know, and I feel it's so empowering and affirming, you know, to meet so many people who are interested, so thank you so much for the opportunity.

Speaker 2: 45:59

Please remember to be kind to yourself. Yes, I love that. Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self.

Speaker 2: 46:38

And if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, come into a discovery call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.