The Unseen Protector, Understanding Anger's Role in Personal Resilience - episode 108

When the echoes of past traumas threaten to dictate our present, it takes remarkable courage to navigate the path to healing. That's the spirit Yahne Sneed brings to our latest conversation on the Lift One Self podcast. As a life coach who's battled her own demons, Yahne opens up about how adversity shaped her resilience, leading her to a mission of helping others embrace their inner strength. Our exchange throws light on the transformative potential of self-acceptance and the power of mental health practices like meditation to reclaim a sense of safety from within.

Have you ever wondered how your childhood experiences continue to influence your life today? Yahne and yours truly, Nat Nat, reveal the profound impact of the inner child on our emotional well-being. We dissect the often misunderstood role of anger as a protector and discuss the essential principles of trauma-informed competence, which shed light on our natural defence mechanisms. The interplay of parenting and personal trauma brings a raw, honest dimension to the discussion, while the act of nurturing gratitude emerges as a cornerstone for growth and healing.

We wrap up this heart-to-heart with a focus on the bittersweet journey of grief, its role in our evolution, and the subtle art of self-trust. The conversation then pivots to introduce the listeners to Yanni, a beacon of emotional resilience, who gives us a sneak peek into her Relentless Phoenix podcast and her enriching webinars. Yahne's story is a powerful reminder that our darkest moments can be the very fire that forges our brightest futures. Tune in for an episode that's not just about recovery but about the phoenix rising within each of us.

Find out more about Yahne Sneed here
www.yahnesneed.com
www.instagram.com/relentlessphoenix00


Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help.
Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others.
The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces.
I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.

Our website
Https://.LiftOneself.com

Find more conversations on our Social Media pages
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www.instagram.com/liftoneself

Music by prazkhanal

Remember to be kind to yourself.

Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help.
Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others.
The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces.
I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.

Our website
LiftOneself.com

Find more conversations on our Social Media pages
www.facebook.com/liftoneself
www.instagram.com/liftoneself

Music by prazkhanal

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello, hello, hello, hi, it's Yanni Yanni.

Speaker 2: 0:05

Yanni, nice to meet you.

Speaker 1: 0:09

Thank you.

Speaker 2: 0:10

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there. We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself. Welcome to the Lift when Self podcast. Yené, I am so thankful you're here with me.

Speaker 2: 0:51

Thank you for having me, I appreciate it and I apologize in advance if I butcher your name, so please know that it's not intentional, okay.

Speaker 1: 1:01

Got you, got you.

Speaker 2: 1:03

Will you join me in a meditation, for that we can ground ourselves in our breath absolutely and for the listeners.

Speaker 2: 1:13

many of you listen to a podcast, either driving or needing to use your visual. Please don't close your eyes. I want you to be safe, as well as the other people to be safe. Yet the other prompts that I bring us into you're able to follow along. So, yanae, I'm going to ask you to gently close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose and you're going to bring your attention to watching your breath go in and out through your nose. You're not going to try and control your breath. You're just going to observe it. While keeping your attention on your breath.

Speaker 2: 2:00

There may be some sensations or feelings coming up. It's okay, let them come up. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go. Surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be. Be with your breath, drop into your body, keep your awareness on your breath. And you're keeping your awareness on your breath and just keeping your awareness on your breath and dropping deeper into your body, staying with your breath, at your own time, in your own pace. You're going to gently open your eyes while staying with your breath. How? How's your heart doing it's?

Speaker 1: 3:26

interesting. It's calm yet active. That makes any sense. But yes, it's interesting how I feel it does Like the meditation.

Speaker 2: 3:38

The more that you come into your breath and you check your biology, you see that there's more than one thing that's going on simultaneously. But we think just black and white. And one thing Can you allow the listeners to know who Yana is? I didn't say it properly, did I?

Speaker 1: 3:58

No, you did. You did. It's Yana. The question just gives me to have deep breath before I speak about it, because it's interesting. Anytime I get that question I feel like it's a new question that I have to think about who I am.

Speaker 1: 4:16

But yeah, I am someone who been through a lot in a childhood, who been through a lot of traumatic experiences, who saw different things, who had to get raised up early. Throughout all that in my childhood I have developed a lot of resilience and relentlessness. Because of it. It built my character to be stronger.

Speaker 1: 4:38

I didn't have a purpose or identity when I was younger, but until I got up into college I started having spurts of these moments where I feel belonging and my purpose, and that was when I was mentoring.

Speaker 1: 4:52

Prior to that, I was lost in who I was. I've been through a lot of challenges been emotionally, mentally abused, sexually abused so during this point I was really lost. So when I did find my belonging, I leaned into it, got a degree in social work. It didn't take because I was going through a lot of mental challenges trying to still find out who I am and also I didn't feel my belonging as I started proceeding. My degree in social work, I did, after all, get it. After five years of struggling in college, I was about to dropout. After that, I started searching for myself, where I landed in 2022 with my life coaching business. I feel as though I can give back to the community by sharing my life experiences and helping them through their trauma and adversity, and that's where I've been at in this realm of just life coaching and being a keynote speaker and a mentor to someone else very dynamic and very complex.

Speaker 2: 5:50

I love hearing how you've been able to change the narrative of acceptance, because what I hear is a lot of acceptance.

Speaker 2: 6:02

I work with trauma in the nervous system and it's being able to find safety within yourself, because what trauma does is it separates you from yourself and creates a lot of feeling unsafe in the body. So coming back into the body is its own work. Can you give us a little bit of insight of what that looked like, what that journey looked like, and what are the tools and modalities you needed to use to you do that? It's warrior work, it's real warrior work and there's a lot of like you. I also just sorry. I want to just back up you stating like you know, it took me five years to finish this. It's like yet, if people really understand what trauma does to a nervous system and and when you're waking up to that while trying to be present and trying to create your future, but your past is bringing flashbacks and you still stayed with it. So that shows resilience right there, that you know the commitment and the dedication to yourself.

Speaker 1: 7:09

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I had experienced. I'm trying to find myself in a moment that's why I speak about a lot in my life coaching business and to answer your question, which is a very sound, very simple but very loaded answer to that question. But I'll do my best in this time frame to give you that. So before I learned how to be one with myself and my experiences, I used to run away from them because I didn't really quite understand why I had to be the one to go through such harsh experiences. I'm used to run away from them because I didn't really quite understand why I had to be the one to go through such harsh experiences. I used to abuse alcohol. I was around friends. That wasn't the best for me, but gave me what I needed to fill that void up at that moment. I did a lot of. I was very aggressive. I was in a lot of fights. I was just acting or seeking answers and help in many different ways. That was very self-sabotaging. I didn't know it at the time. It was self-sabotaging. I just felt that I was reacting off of something I didn't understand and I did the best I could to not go so deep into it, but I didn't know how to. So I just kind of went into a downward spiral over and over again without having anyone to intervene to get me out of it. My mom was there but wasn't there when I actually needed her how I needed her to love me because she was also going through what she was going through. She was one of those that mentally and emotionally abused me, going through what she was going through. She was one of those that mentally and emotionally abused me. My dad was the one, or my son was the one, who sexually abused me as well as mentally and emotionally. He wasn't really supportive. He told me I wasn't going to graduate high school college. So, needless to say, I was one just lost and very aggressive, just trying to find out why me angry with the world. So it took some time for me get over the the abuse and self-sabotaging that I was causing myself.

Speaker 1: 9:08

It wasn't until I started finding my belonging and mentoring where I started having this peak of interest. Is this the reason why I'm going through these traumatic experiences? Because I'm helping someone by me sharing my story. I'm helping them get through to the other side and I started navigating my surroundings in a more healthier way, being around individuals. That was more positive in nature, that I needed. In that moment I started questioning a lot of things that I went through in my life. I didn't realize this until I got to college, that I started questioning things. It was very difficult because in college, the reason why I almost dropped out is because I was going through, like you said, personal issues and trying to maintain a college degree. I finally spoke up against my sperm donor who abused me my sperm donor who abused me. I started having conversations with my mom about the things that happened to me in childhood and how traumatic it was and what she had done to cause me to feel a certain way about myself. There's a lot of things I was challenging and in college the kids started my change, my actual change. It didn't make me change, but the kids started to see for my change. That happened to the girl you see now, the woman you see now, and that was when I was in college.

Speaker 1: 10:28

I was reading something for school that I had to study. I couldn't do it. I wasn't really Well. I won't say I wasn't really the brightest in school, but I was one of those that had to read countless of times, over and over again one paragraph. So I got frustrated with the material. I started crying.

Speaker 1: 10:46

During the time I was crying, I heard a voice. I'm very spiritual, so I like to say in hindsight that was me and my future self telling me I'm going to be okay. The voice said that you're doing it and I repeated it. I said I'm doing it and then that was the seed that was planted inside of me to start challenging all those negative thoughts Started, you know, building a relationship with myself back because, like I said, I lost my dignity. School wasn't working for me. My purpose was just first, in a moment of helping individuals. So when I said that to myself and I had that aha moment, I had that spurs of epiphany like, wait a minute, I am doing that. I am telling all the naysayers that I'm wrong. I wrong, I'm doing, I'm doing it. It's not the easiest thing. I'm challenging my thought process and I'm changing myself and I'm negative thoughts. That wasn't mine, but I'm doing it.

Speaker 1: 11:35

And during college I had to kick and pull to do it. I had to believe in myself. That was the first thing I couldn't, although I knew I was doing it. I didn't believe I was doing it, I just felt that I was just walking through life. But now when, during college, I started looking back at it, I was pushing myself to be the best self I could possibly be. I didn't see it at the time, but I was doing that and I had to pull back a lot of layers and really get down to why I feel so isolated and lonely and depressed and thinking suicidal thoughts and abusing alcohol, self-sabotaging. I had to look really deep into myself and that was the start of the change that I am today.

Speaker 1: 12:18

I had to challenge a lot of that and building a positive environment was the next step I had to do because, although I want to change, my environment was no good to me at all. So I had to change my friends. I had to cut a lot of individuals off. I had to just remake all of my entire existence from that day forward. Like I said, it wasn't the easiest thing. It's still not today. I'm still learning. I'm human after all but it was definitely a challenge and those are the most most of the tools that I had to do. I mean there was others. I can go more in depth. I actually wrote a book, manifest your Canvas on the tools that I use. That helped me get through, but most of it had to do with challenging my negative thoughts and how I saw myself.

Speaker 2: 13:01

I just want to take a moment, you know, to see the sacredness.

Speaker 2: 13:07

You speak on your story of what you experienced as a child, yet it still brings up a lot, and I just want to honor the sacredness and that you're here and you're thriving and you're thriving and you know, um, as much as it sounds simple for some, if they've never experienced significant trauma, they don't understand how it really just doesn't compute to believe in yourself, it doesn't compute to have worth or value, it doesn't compute to trust yourself, it doesn't compute to trust yourself.

Speaker 2: 13:43

It just like this is so foreign to you and how, once you start understanding trauma and you learning it, you better understand why you involved yourself with certain characters or why you pushed away certain people that wanted to help you, yet you didn't know how to receive that, because you didn't feel you were worthy of it.

Speaker 2: 14:06

And that becomes its own confliction of having to wake up and navigate through all that. So I just want to take a moment to really acknowledge that warrior work it's, it's a simple task. So when you're saying it, that's why I'm like, let let me, let me just bring her back for a moment. Um, because you know, at certain moments you feel like you're going out of your head, like, especially when you get those flashbacks from your past and you have to feel those big emotions come up, and those big emotions that you never could feel at the time and you just kept pushing down, pushing down, pushing down. Yet the healing is allowing yourself to finally feel that vulnerability, that deep sadness, that that dense energy that's coming up. I want to ask you, how is your relationship with anger?

Speaker 1: 14:59

so I am. When I was younger I had a lot of anger issues, just mad at the world for just my existence, because I did not know why I was going through that. I did therapy to try to diminish some of the frustration I had towards life. It didn't work. They just wanted to check off boxes so I could fit into a category, so I could be labeled. I was angry with that because I was so tired of being labeled certain things in my life that I just stopped going to therapy.

Speaker 1: 15:32

So most of how I deal with my anger today is just leaning into it, to be totally honest, and just getting down to why I get angry. Not anymore to speak of as a late frustration. Sure, I have two kids, but parents not frustrated. But anger, no, I wasn't asked this by anger, because I do have. Sometimes it does come up where the little girl on the side of me. She feels however. She feels because of whatever experiences she went through, just another event reminding her of how she felt. Everybody had a little child inside of them. Sometimes she picks up and I just acknowledge it. I help her calm down, I acknowledge it and I help her move forward.

Speaker 2: 16:21

Thank you for that. With my clients, I'm always you know, anger is healthy. We have this narrative like when you said issues, it's like you had no issues. Everything that you went on, you had to use anger. Anger protected you. Yeah, anger really protected you. It was part of your defense mechanisms to be able to survive in the environment that you were in because all our emotions are healthy.

Speaker 2: 16:44

It's just a matter of knowing how to control and redirect in a certain way exactly and having a healthy of listening to the message, because most times we're pushing it away. And you know, thank you for like sharing the vulnerability too. Like you know, I went to see calp, I went to go see therapy, yet even there they're, they're not even letting me feeling this emotion and having a better understanding. It's like, well, you should do better in your behavior. And it's like it's not my behavior, like there's and you will be, and that's you know, when P when clients work with me, they're like I've done therapy, but they don't get like how you get, like you understand the nervous system, this defense mechanism that comes on and it's like, yeah, unfortunately there's some people that are trauma informed, but I'm trauma competent, like I get this nervous system and that's why, when you're like anger issues, please change that. You didn't have anger issues. You really didn't. Yeah, you were.

Speaker 2: 17:40

It was an emotion that had to protect you in the environment. You had to protect your sensitivity and your vulnerability. Your innocence was robbed of you and then to make sense of this cruel world and why the fuck was I put in this planet with these people? What the fuck did I do to deserve this? As you can see, very powerful, yet that's really how it feels, yeah, very powerful, um, yet that's really how it feels, yeah, and people don't realize the, the bitterness and what goes on really in your head, like you know. They can see you all polished up and you give a good presentation, yet sometimes you don't know what goes on sometimes in my head or what they feel.

Speaker 2: 18:21

And as a parent too, um, I'm a parent, uh, I've I experienced a lot of trauma as a parent too. I'm a parent. I've I experienced a lot of trauma as a child. One thing I've noticed with is like, for me, the highest spiritual practice you have is being a parent, because you learn about yourself. And another layer that I learned is whatever I was experienced at certain ages when they were that age. It would bring up the wound, and so I would have to face that inner child of mine while seeing them, and sometimes it would be because I had sexual trauma, wanting to protect them, being so afraid that somebody might hurt them that I may not even be aware of, because all these things happen.

Speaker 2: 19:04

So, just really being vigilant, of trying to be hyper aware and also recreating patterns. There's patterns that I recreated from my trauma that, as much as you want to. You cannot override your biology. You have to work with it and you have to understand yourself and there's certain patterns that are going to be repeated. It's as much as you're like. I'm determined not to freaking. Do this, you do it. It just looks a little differently. It's not into the degree that you received it, yet it's still there and that takes some grace.

Speaker 1: 19:38

Yeah, a lot of grace.

Speaker 2: 19:40

What has the forgiveness look like for yourself?

Speaker 1: 19:45

What has the forgiveness looked like for yourself? Forgive myself or forgive others? I can speak about both. Yourself. That was a journey. It still is a journey, being a faith.

Speaker 1: 20:04

When it comes down to forgiving yourself, the first step is acceptance. You can't forgive yourself without accepting the fact that certain choices you made, that certain choices that you was involved in, you made. That was the first thing that I had to come to terms with, that I was self-sabotaging myself a lot. Yeah, I didn't know it and probably today I still don't know the realm of how much I'm self-sabotaging myself. But what I do know is those that I am aware of. I had to accept that. I had to come to terms with it, understand where it came from and then give myself that that grace to love myself more through it all. You know I've, I've been through a lot.

Speaker 1: 20:44

So it was not easy to know what choice you're going to make, especially with the trauma that I had dealt with. It caused a lot of insecurity. It caused a lot of gas on the manipulation, so it caused me to second guess a lot of my choices. So you know, I really just give myself every choice I make, from when I'm the moment of college on to now, I said, well, stick with the choice and learn from it. And that's how I give myself.

Speaker 1: 21:10

Don't never know what choice you make or decisions you thought of or you did. You're going to be the right one. So I had to really accept myself for being a human and going through things, that very chain of perspective of how I saw the world, because that's really ultimately what happened. I saw the world a certain way. I made decisions based off how I saw the world, because of my experiences. So now that I see the world a bit differently, I have to forgive myself for not seeing it the way it was intended to see because of things that I went through. So I have to accept myself and then learn from it and then do the best I can with the cards I dealt with now.

Speaker 2: 21:49

Have you thanked yourself?

Speaker 1: 21:51

Yeah, every day, every day I wake up, I thank myself for having the day to start over and I thank myself being grateful that I had the opportunity to just be up, be alive, because someone died yesterday and they couldn't tell a story. So I'm grateful for every opportunity for my weekend. I tell myself, grand rising all the time, but, yeah, I thank myself totally because if the, if the shoes on other foot, I don't know what could have been. You know of me. So the fact that I'm here, just a testimony to all the choices I did right to bring me to this point.

Speaker 2: 22:26

Yeah, and it was all protection. Yep, that's the thing that I had to learn is, sometimes people think forgiveness and acceptance is another way of punishing and berating yourself and chastising. And it's like no, thank yourself Like you had to make those choices to be able to survive. Thank yourself like you had to make those choices to be able to survive. That's what you were in. You had no idea what thriving and resilience was, so you were making the choices with the information that you had and really understanding what grace is and holding that space of when you do better. When you know better, you do better.

Speaker 2: 23:01

Yet just because you know better doesn't mean that doing better is always there, it's, it takes like you, really, you know your biology is used to a certain thing. What has grief looked like for you? Because there's parts of you that you had to grieve like grieving. Like you said, I had to accept that. Okay, I see the world a certain way, yet I could have seen it a different way, yet I wasn't afforded that because of my experiences. And in that growth, like you said once, I recognize my environment and the people I had to change. That's grieving. So there's parts of you that you continuously have to grieve, to shed, to come into this new transformation where a lot of people are like, yes, change and keep going and thriving, as there's some grief, there's some significant to go through yeah, um, me and grief.

Speaker 1: 24:01

I would. I would say, um, me and grief are. It might be strange, but we're best friends at this point. Um, I talk myself through pain. I do, um, especially if I have to shed it off or if I have to lose someone or to gain my, my mental health. Um, we, we have became very best friends because I definitely understand the need for it.

Speaker 1: 24:30

I definitely understand the need that you have to cry, although you don't want something to go. You have to cry and let it go Like bittersweet. That's what me and grief is. It's very bittersweet, like I know. It's certain things that I hold dear. Now that I have to let go, I will, I will be best friends with the kind of notes for my good and we have to, we had. We can't be scared of grief, even if it's a something simple as somebody dying. We have to understand in a better place now. So it's a bittersweet thing. You're sad that it's gone, but you know you're going to be in a healthy place or that individual is in a better place now. So it's a bittersweet thing. You're sad that it's gone, but you know you're going to be in a healthy place or that individual is in a healthy place, you know. Now that you know, you cut ties. So that's how I see group.

Speaker 2: 25:14

It's like it's bittersweet okay, um, because a lot of people aren't even aware that that's what they're experiencing. So that's why there becomes a stuckness in this, um, not being able to relate to themselves, and it's like, well, there's grief, like you know, feeling the deep sadness, the loss, and allowing there to be space for accepting what's new to come, which is uncertainty and unknown. So, as much as you want change, it's allowing yourself to recognize you're going to go into unknown. Uncertainty because this is a place of you don't know anything. You don't even know how to relate to this part, because you're creating it as it goes.

Speaker 1: 25:52

Yeah, grief, all of me and grief are close, going into the unknown. That's a whole different realm For me per se. I can be okay with something has to go, or I can be okay with the bittersweet nature of you know, I have to move on, but the moving on, if you want to ask about that manipulated or abused, distorted my personality, my perception on the next step in life or what have you. So me not knowing how this world operates on a basic level, on earth, rather not spiritual, just on a basic level, how life operates. You know, the unknown for me is me is scary. However, that's another emotion that I can tackle, just like fear or anxiety. It's all about control and just being okay with right now how was the journey to coming back into trusting yourself?

Speaker 1: 27:08

always going to be a lesson learned. When it comes to me, um, trust is just. I have to set small goals. I have to learn from my experiences and trust that the next experience will will have the for me to learn from it. Um, honestly, so that's where I've based my trust on now is all the lessons learned, all the wisdom that I have, the future choices that I haven't experienced yet. I just make a choice and see what that gets me and learn from it and then build my wisdom. So I'm always relying on my wisdom in order to trust myself.

Speaker 2: 27:43

I love that. The basic thing that people need to realize when they've experienced trauma is that their nervous system gets wired with a lot of negative biases, because the nervous system is the only function it has don't die, and so when there's been trauma and harm, then it's like OK, this world is very threatening and I don't want you to feel that. So it becomes a lot of negative biases and it's looking at everything as a threat, which you're like okay, I'm trying to see things positive, Yet your biology is like no, no, we got to look at everything negative to protect ourselves, and so that work to shift your perception is part of the healing, and what you need is radical honesty with yourself. You have to be able to face yourself which the defense mechanisms of the nervous systems like. That's that ego. Like no, that ego like no, no, like we're here to protect you where we are going to be insidious and kind of be your layer of clothing that you don't even realize you're wearing it until you start pulling off.

Speaker 2: 28:40

It's like wait, this isn't me, like this is not part and that, and then it comes right back on you and it's like what the heck? So? And it's that layer? It's like, oh, it's like Spider-Man and that symbiotic and you know he's coming back and it's like throw it off and coming right back on and it's like oh, and it's exhausting. It's the things that you're like. And then you get frustrated with yourself. You're like, oh, yeah, it's really understanding the nervous system needs safety and that you are rewiring and reshaping that nervous system in your every moment. And I'm very thankful, like you know, that guidance that you got. Spiritually it's like you're doing it. You're not trying, you are actually doing it. Yet when you're in a process, you think, oh, I'm trying and I'm not good enough and it's not getting there, Not realizing this is the process. You're doing it.

Speaker 1: 29:34

Yeah, during that moment I thought that if you want it, there'll be a light switch. You know to turn the light on and it'll work out. But that's that's not the case at all. And when I had to really challenge that thought I was like, wait, like it's more of putting yourself in an oven and letting yourself bake more than a light switch. So when I came to a realization I'm like it just takes time, not the time that I might want it, you know, everybody wants it right now. But I had to realize the things that I've been through and, like I said, especially in my life coaching definitely helped a lot of things Everyone goes through. It's just not not easy just to say I'm going to get out of bed and take that first step. Taking that first step is the hardest thing you could possibly do, especially when you're depressed or you're going through a lot of the things. So I had to really understand that it just it takes time, like you're baking an oven.

Speaker 2: 30:27

Yeah, I love that analogy because it is you're baking for a very long time and it's at a very low temperature and you're like, oh gosh, can we put it on fire? So it can. Then it's like, oh, you got burnt. It's like I gotta start the recipe all over again All over again.

Speaker 1: 30:44

Yep, just let it take how much time. I need it, and it would have been totally perfect, but we're just so much in a rush yeah, and you know it's really having to remove this.

Speaker 2: 30:58

Um well, for me it was removing the thought of arriving somewhere and everything will be okay yeah where it's like you mean I gotta continuously do this work to see the the good and and open up myself for receiving. It's like, yet at a certain point it's not as daunting when you began. It's not as and you're able to um access tools much easier than when you were building and creating them and everything else. So it and then there becomes for myself like when I fully reconnected. I still bounce out of it at times.

Speaker 2: 31:36

Yet when I fully connected into worth, where it wasn't just a thought or something outside of me, it was like I'm sitting in that seat and recognizing it and being anchored in my breath and understanding that I have to be in my body to be in connection with higher source God, allah, universe, whatever name you call that higher power that is the creation of all that. You can hear that voice and that intuition that you know. Once you start doing that work, it's like I don't need justification from anybody. I know what is clear, what wisdom is being, and this is the steps that I need to take.

Speaker 2: 32:20

And you know, there's things in my life that when I try to explain, I'm like I can't give you any logical cause. It doesn't make sense. Like it just doesn't make sense. Like it, it just doesn't make sense. And that's what the intuition and the guidance of really having faith is and trusting in that unknown and taking a step, and it's overwhelming and scary. Um, yet you, you learn to wire your nervous system to change that comfort to discomfort and discomfort to comfort, like you really start changing that narrative and changing the part of what is control and where you've been trying to avoid the pain, facing the pain. I want to bring you into a reflective question, even though I'm sure you've been like you've been making me reflect a lot there.

Speaker 1: 33:09

No, it's totally okay. I like to understand myself more, so we have questions like this. Anyone has questions like this. I love to understand myself more than I already do, so bring those questions on, totally okay.

Speaker 2: 33:20

Okay, so I'm going to ask you to bring your awareness right now and you're going to go back to your 18 year old self and you have three words to tell your 18 year old self to carry you through the journey to right now. What would those words be?

Speaker 1: 33:41

oh, my 18 year old self. Wow, usually I asked about when I was five or seven, 18. Oh my, that is a good question, would? You have listened, would I have listened To me talking to myself 100%? Yeah, me talking to myself 100%, because that would bring me to whew, my God going to college. What about the three things I would tell myself? That is an interesting question. Apart from my head, I wouldn't know, because during that moment I was very, very much lost but bring your awareness from right now to talk to your 18 year old self.

Speaker 2: 34:36

Would you know?

Speaker 1: 34:38

tell your 18 year old yeah, no, I understand the question. Just, uh, putting my position, my, putting my cap, my, my life coaching cap on more than me, because I have a lot of things I can personally tell myself, but life coaching cap on more than me, because I have a lot of things I can personally tell myself, but life coaching, my life coaching cap, I would say believe in yourself. Because I didn't believe in myself. Then I would say believe in myself. I would say keep pushing yourself, regardless of how many times you want to stay in the bed, because I was very depressed, didn't want to get out of bed. So believe in yourself, keep pushing yourself, no matter what. And the last thing I was telling myself is through all the mistakes you're going to make from this day forward, love yourself through it. Those are three things beautiful believe in yourself, keep pushing yourself and love yourself through all your mistakes. Yeah beautiful.

Speaker 2: 35:28

yeah, life is messy. Once you can really have an epiphany of like, oh, this thing is messy, everybody's just trying to put on. This character of polished and perfection is like, yeah, people aren't showing you behind the scenes, they're just showing you what they want to show you. Um, yeah, sure, realness of it. Now I know that there's some listeners that they're like okay enough, where can we find Yanni and where can we get in contact with her? And what are you? What are you offering? Any books, any courses?

Speaker 1: 36:02

you take the stage, yes so where can you find me? You can find me on my website, yaneesneecom. That is y-a-h-n-e-s-n-e-e-d. My social media handles is relentless phoenix with zero zero. The zero zero is just a crazy song, always beginning, never ending, and the things that I have coming up is the relentless phoenix podcast, where I'm going to delve in deep into emotional resilience, mental clarity and finding your purpose and the tips and tricks that I use in order to be with full of wisdom and stature right now. I will also be having webinars coming up soon, in the next coming months, so if you want a newsletter about that, please visit my website or like my pages on Instagram, facebook and TikTok.

Speaker 2: 36:53

Thank you, and for the listeners, it'll all be in the show notes so it'll be easily clickable, because I understand we're in a society that we just click and hyperlink and just don't let me do any kind of research. So I want you to have full access to Yanni and all the resources and the things that she has to offer. She's truly done alchemy in her life, so she's taking those impurities and she's offering the gold for other people. So I really appreciate that work that you've done, in that alchemy that you're offering to others. It's truly a blessing. I appreciate it, appreciate it Long road, but I feel, like everyone else, that's what I was offering to others. It's truly a blessing.

Speaker 1: 37:29

I appreciate it, appreciate it. Long road, but I feel, like everyone else, that's what I was going to say and I was going to say it's a long road to overcome your adversities, but the choice that you have to make is answering this one question is how long do you want to stay in your trauma? And if you're willing to get out of that trauma, definitely look me up, because I can definitely help you overcome your adversity. You have to love yourself first and make the choice to do better tomorrow.

Speaker 2: 37:57

Yeah, I call it processing your shit.

Speaker 1: 38:02

I like that. How about that one?

Speaker 2: 38:06

You need manure in the garden and there's going to be, and being human is traumatic. So just because you think you got it, you need manure in the garden and there's gonna be, and being human is traumatic. So just because you think you figured out all the childhood stuff, it's like moving forward, bang, bang, and then you're a parent, bang, bang, bang, some more stuff. So it's like and you gotta find laughter with this stuff because it gets serious and heavy it does and does.

Speaker 1: 38:28

That's been my escape goal since forever. I'm a comedian, I'm silly. I had to be that way at a younger age to find that light in a dark funnel well.

Speaker 2: 38:43

thank you so much for um accepting the request and coming on to the podcast. I went seeking you and I'm thankful that you accepted, and it's been an honor to be in your presence and I look forward to bringing you back on to the podcast and hearing more of your journey and the things that flourish in your garden.

Speaker 1: 39:05

Thank you, I appreciate it. Queen Appreciate it.

Speaker 2: 39:08

Remember to be kind to yourself.

Speaker 2: 39:10

You matter absolutely, thank you hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, come into a discovery call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.