What would your life look like if you became a healer? On this episode of Lift One Self, we sit down with Jeanell Greene from Vancouver, whose journey through challenges, heartbreak, and miracles led her to discover her spiritual calling. Jeanell opens up about her transformative experiences and shares a grounding meditation exercise, offering insights into her spiritual path and the pivotal moment that revealed her role as a healer. We also discuss the power of spiritual connection and service in mending not just individual lives but entire families and communities.
Imagine finding solace in the smallest of miracles. I recount a poignant story from my youth, when a single petal from a fading bouquet brought comfort during a heartbreaking time. Growing up in a religious Filipino family, this moment solidified my belief in divine presence. This episode highlights the importance of seeking everyday miracles and navigating the fear of loneliness. I also talk about the profound impact of compassion in relationships, inspired by my husband's unwavering support during my darkest days post-divorce. Understanding and compassion, even after personal betrayals, are crucial as they help us recognize that everyone has their own emotional battles.
Choosing yourself amidst societal and familial pressures is no easy feat, especially within a Filipino, religious context. This episode sheds light on the courage it takes to prioritize personal well-being during a tumultuous marriage and painful divorce. Drawing from my mother's resilience and my own journey of self-discovery, I discuss the importance of forgiveness, self-love, and setting boundaries. We emphasize that understanding our values and being authentic are key to leading fulfilling lives. Join us as we encourage you to share these valuable conversations, connect with Lift One Self on social media, and remember to be kind to yourself—you matter.
Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help. Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others. The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces. I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.
Disclaimer: Always do your own research. This is for information purposes.
Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help. Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others. The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces. I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.
What would your life look like if you became a healer? On this episode of Lift One Self, we sit down with Jeanell Greene from Vancouver, whose journey through challenges, heartbreak, and miracles led her to discover her spiritual calling. Jeanell opens up about her transformative experiences and shares a grounding meditation exercise, offering insights into her spiritual path and the pivotal moment that revealed her role as a healer. We also discuss the power of spiritual connection and service in mending not just individual lives but entire families and communities.
Imagine finding solace in the smallest of miracles. I recount a poignant story from my youth, when a single petal from a fading bouquet brought comfort during a heartbreaking time. Growing up in a religious Filipino family, this moment solidified my belief in divine presence. This episode highlights the importance of seeking everyday miracles and navigating the fear of loneliness. I also talk about the profound impact of compassion in relationships, inspired by my husband's unwavering support during my darkest days post-divorce. Understanding and compassion, even after personal betrayals, are crucial as they help us recognize that everyone has their own emotional battles.
Choosing yourself amidst societal and familial pressures is no easy feat, especially within a Filipino, religious context. This episode sheds light on the courage it takes to prioritize personal well-being during a tumultuous marriage and painful divorce. Drawing from my mother's resilience and my own journey of self-discovery, I discuss the importance of forgiveness, self-love, and setting boundaries. We emphasize that understanding our values and being authentic are key to leading fulfilling lives. Join us as we encourage you to share these valuable conversations, connect with Lift One Self on social media, and remember to be kind to yourself—you matter.
Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help. Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others. The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces. I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.
Disclaimer: Always do your own research. This is for information purposes.
Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help. Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others. The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces. I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.
Good morning, I mean afternoon or whatever time it is where you are.
Speaker 2:
Hi Janelle. How are you? I'm well. How are you? I'm well, I'm well. Where are you located? I'm in. Vancouver, canada, okay, okay, I'm in Ottawa. Oh nice, exactly. It's not too often you get a fellow Canadian. It's like Americans, australians, new Zealand or UK. So it's like when I get a Canuck, I'm like you understand the politics, you understand the culture, even though each province has its own culture and society, which some people are like, what I'm like. Oh yeah, each province is totally different environments what I'm like.
Speaker 1:
Oh yeah, each province is totally different environments. Yeah, totally. Well, most people when they think canada, they think you know ontario and I'm like like so much snow a lot. I'm like not a lot, no, not really right. No, um, I mean, I'm a, I'm a tropical girl, so anything under like six degrees is cold for me.
Speaker 3:
Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there. We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself.
Speaker 2:
Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast. Janelle, I'm so thankful you're here with me.
Speaker 1:
Thank you, Nat. Now I'm excited to have this conversation and see where it goes.
Speaker 2:
Me too. I think we're going to have a lot of play in this dialogue. Yeah for sure, truth telling. Would you join me in meditation to ground ourselves in our breath, absolutely? And for the listeners, as you hear, always the spiel I'm going to ask us to close our eyes. Yet if you need your visual, please do not close your eyes. I want you to be safe and those around you to be safe. Yet the other prompts you're able to follow with whatever activity that you're doing. So, janelle, I'll ask you to get comfortable in your seat and you're going to gently close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose and you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose. You're not going to control your breath, you're just going to be aware of it. While keeping your awareness and watching your breath go in and out, there may be sensations or feelings coming up in the body.
Speaker 3:
It's okay, let them come up, you're safe to feel you're safe to let go surrender the need to control release the need to resist and just be. Be with your breath, drop into your body keep your awareness on your breath.
Speaker 2:
There may be thoughts or memories coming up, and it's okay. Don't push them away. Just bring your awareness back to your breath and drop further into your body, staying with the breath. Janelle, I'm going to ask you in your mind to create an intention you want to bring forth in this conversation, for the listeners, for ourselves. And when you've created that intention, I'm going to ask you to release it in your mind, allowing it to drop down into your nervous system, down your neck, passing your throat, going down your chest, filling your heart, going down into all your organs, into your stomach, into your life force.
Speaker 3:
You're going to continue staying with your breath and walking that intention to surround you in your energy field, stay with your breath and dropping further into your body.
Speaker 2:
Staying with your breath, at your own time and at your own pace. You're going to gently open your eyes while staying with your breath. How's your heart doing good? Can you let the listeners know who Janelle is?
Speaker 1:
now as a child of God. Janelle is a powerful, complicated yet simple human who loves love and has been blessed with a lot of challenges, heartbreak and miracles. That has brought her to where she is now, which is about helping heal the planet and, more importantly, heal families. And I'm creative and I speak my mind. I've both been married. I've been happily married for 18 years, but I've also been divorced, and so I think all of these experiences of my life have brought me to where I am, where I can be of service at the highest level and I'm fun and playful.
Speaker 2:
Can you let the listeners know Cause I'm sure what stood out for them is miracles. Can you put that a little bit bigger for us and what that looked like for you?
Speaker 1:
Well, I have a very special relationship with my God and my spirit world. I've had interesting dreams. I once was napping this was before I became a relationship coach. I think this is kind of where it started actually. As I was napping. This was before I became a relationship coach. I think this is kind of where it started actually is I was napping and one day I just heard a voice say to me you are a healer.
Speaker 1:
And I remember opening my eyes and being like first of all, where did that come from? Who was that? And then me healer. And then, but in the same moment, was, of course, healer. It was so weird and my mom is actually a healer.
Speaker 1:
She has traveled the world healing people. She was given a message that she was. She had this mission to do and she was just basically a vessel. She didn't. She didn't remember a lot of the things that she was told or what came out of her mouth for people and what they needed to do to heal themselves. So she always had, I guess, if you want to call it, assistants who, if people had questions like what is it that you said about that thing, they would ask the assistant, not my mom, because my mom wouldn't remember.
Speaker 1:
So I grew up in a very, if you want to call it, holy, religious family. Being Filipino, god was always, you know, part of our culture, and family's always been part of our culture. But one thing at one cool story I want to share is one day I was, I think, my late teens, early twenties I can't remember how old I was so I had a fireplace with a mantle on it and beside it was, or on top of it, in the corner, was, a statue of the Virgin Mary, which I've always had, and then a bouquet of flowers, and they were cut flowers from our garden that my mom had put there, I want to say a week maybe ago ago, and so it had already kind of like died, right, it's kind of that changes that color to that darker color, and they had big petals I don't know what the flower is called, but it had like fairly large, almost like rose petals, but not not a rose anyway. So there I am, I'm bawling my eyes out because I just got dumped and I really like this guy he was, he was great and I, you know, when you're, when you're in such heartbreak, like you, can feel your heart, just like it's that like intensity and all of a sudden, in the corner of my eye, as I'm, as I'm, crying, I see this petal fall. I see something, I see something move, and so I I shift my gaze over to that area, and it was. I noticed that it was in the area of the flowers, so I walk over and I bend down and I see this perfect petal, with no wrinkle, no discoloration, like as though we just picked it from the garden. And I look up at the rest of the flowers and the flowers were like dead, like they're all shriveled up, like dark purple, and I actually took a picture of it because it was so remarkable and I keep it.
Speaker 1:
And it just reminds me that you know, in all those heartbreaks, that we're not alone. And I think, as a coach, that is really my number one job, I believe, not even as a coach, but just as a you want to call me support, healer, coach, support. You know, whatever you want to call me, I feel like that's my number one job is to remind people that they're not alone, cause that's a really, really sad feeling. I think that's the one thing you know when I look at what we fear at the end of the day, whether we fear judgment, rejection, not enough, it's all about the fear of being alone. Yeah, so I keep.
Speaker 1:
I still have that photo around and I and I have it on my altar and it just just reminds me that.
Speaker 1:
You know, I think sometimes we forget, especially in this world that we live in, which is very all about what you see, to remind ourselves that it's actually, it's real. And if we, if we look for the miracles in our life, they happen every day. And I think my husband is a miracle for me, for him to come into my life as I was coming out of my divorce, and that very dark time and the light and the support and the patience that he has shown me has really encouraged me, inspired me even to create the business that I have created. And I now have this amazing sense of compassion for men. Even though my dad cheated on my mom with my mom's best friend and got her pregnant. You know I still have so much love and reminding us that we don't it's so easy to judge from the outside of what people are dealing with and why they do what they do, and so you know what people can count on me is that level of compassion and understanding.
Speaker 2:
I think it's also, too, when our emotions are fired up and we've been harmed or in pain. It's very difficult to go beyond that, to see the other person's emotions and see, be curious of, well, what would lead them to, because a lot of times it's not an intentional thing that people are doing. We tend to forget that everybody has their own little world that they're navigating through. Yet, um, our narcissistic mind that where everybody wants to be like there's only a certain type of population that has like this narcissism that you know, we can get self-absorbed and think that everybody should be catering to us and think about us and it's like, well, wait a minute, they have their own world to have to navigate through.
Speaker 2:
You mentioned that you went through a divorce and it was painful. I have two parts to that question that I want to ask you. One was it difficult in your family to present that you were going to go through a divorce, because you mentioned that you're Filipino and religious? So then that becomes you marry till death, do you part? Doesn't matter how awful the relationship is? And then two, where did you find the courage to choose yourself and go through that process?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I'll answer the second question first. I don't know. I have a very strong mother and watching my mom go through what she went through with my dad, my mom did not react the way most women would react by if their husband had done what he did. My mom was very strong. My mom was like, listen, if you don't want to be with us, then don't be with us. I'm not going to be your part-time wife. You know, if you choose us going to be your part-time wife, you know, if you choose us, choose us. If you choose her, choose her. But you know, make a decision. And he chose them and my mom's like, fine, um, you know, I think in the dark, you know, at night, she would cry, but she would never show that. But so my mom has always been a very strong woman and I think all the women in my family have been very strong women, I think growing up. But you know, aside from my dad's infidelity, my parents were quite an amazing couple together, you know. They danced together, sang together, they had a business together, they went to church together. They were really great a match.
Speaker 1:
And so I kind of knew already what I had wanted for my life. So I kind of knew already what I had wanted for my life and what I thought marriage should look like. And so you know, in hindsight I see that I hadn't actually healed from my dad's, that stuff that happened with my dad and you know, my little nine year old I discovered, decided in that moment when dad left was that she was unlovable, she couldn't trust people because people believe her. Eventually and I only discovered this maybe in my mid-20s, but anyway, so in this moment I am just trying to not be alone. And so I met this man who promised me the world and said he was going to be exactly what you know. I told him what I wanted and he's like yep, yep, yep, I can do that for you. And it was almost like as soon as we got married he changed. He just stopped trying stop showering, stop spending time with me, stop going to church, stop hanging out with my family. It was almost like I was a check mark and then we were going to live very different lives and I could see that, you know, the red flag was seeing his own parents and how they interacted, and I should have picked up on that. But that's basically what it was. It was like you know, he goes to work, comes home and just sits on the couch all day long and then I'm I'm expected just to cook and clean and cater to him, but I had my own business. I'm a very independent woman and I don't cook, sorry.
Speaker 1:
So it was, um, it was a very difficult um relationship. It was very rocky and very tumultuous. Um, he had a very bad temper and I'm very strong and stubborn, so that didn't work out very well and I just started to blame him and try to fix him and change him. And when I had sort of the clarity and I did a course about a seminar, I realized that I hadn't been being responsible for my own wounds, for my own expectations and the way I was behaving, because he wasn't the man that I had wanted him to be. And I freaked out because I'm like okay, I can't, like you said, I can't divorce. Like I'm Catholic, we don't do that. Are you telling me that I have to live with this for the rest of my life? And I kind of knew it by like month two or three. It's like this is not happening.
Speaker 1:
So the more I tried to fix him and change him, the more he resisted and it became this well, this mother son kind of or yeah, dynamic, which I didn't sign up for, and so I think the breaking, there was two breaking points. There was a moment where I remember lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking, lord, is this what my life is about? Like I've been waiting my whole life dreaming, fantasizing about this relationship and this is what I get. I don't know if I can do this, you know. And then shortly after, we got a puppy, and the puppy's a Maltese poodle, so very small dog, and she peed on the floor. And just to preface, my ex-husband is six foot seven, 270 pounds, and I am not even five feet tall, and so he, the dog, peed on the floor and he beat her like bad, and I remember holding his arm and being like stop, like that's enough, and he wouldn't stop and I could see the future and my children and having to deal with that, and that was the moment I was like no, and so to your point.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it was really really hard to tell my mom, and the hard part was that the agreement I said is don't tell my mom, let me talk to my mom, don't talk, because we lived in the same house, let me talk to her. And he did not respect my wishes. So I came home and there they were on the couch and my mom was furious. And my mom didn't talk to me for about two years. I mean, she would talk to me as in like we can be in the same space, but she was super angry at me for about two years. But you know what? I was okay with it. I I knew that I needed to be responsible for her behavior, not her behavior, her reaction, because I knew her belief system and I knew that I was I'm the eldest, the good girl, the golden child, the people pleaser, and so for me to do something like this was was completely out of right, out of my normal way of being well her expectation yeah, her expectation, so I got that.
Speaker 1:
I and I knew, I knew that when she and I had to also take responsibility for the fact that I didn't even tell her that this was happening. I, you know a lot of us. When we're going through those things, we don't share those with other people. You know we keep that to ourselves, right.
Speaker 2:
So I had to get responsible for that the pain that she went through a marriage and you know your father did the things that he did and that you know he left her. I get it that she didn't leave yet. Not to see that like, wait a minute, if you're in a marriage and it if it's not working to honor you, to really be like you know what your joy and your mental health is the most important. Yet we can get so stuck in these expectations and what we, what are people going to say Right, oh, my God, perceptions and all that where it's like wait.
Speaker 2:
Are you seeing the individual? Are you seeing your child?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and you know the other. The really scary thing too was I was starting to change into someone that I did not like and I remember I was with my sister and him and I think her husband and we we had gone through I think it was a McDonald's drive-thru and the way that he was speaking to the woman in the drive-thru was so disrespectful and it didn't even faze me. And my sister caught it and she goes you, let him talk to you, like that.
Speaker 2:
and I was like, wow, I didn't even notice it, I didn't even notice that I had changed and the old Janelle definitely would have never said anything and and these are the things about relationships if we haven't taken inventory of our wounds and the trauma and the separation from worth and self, we don't realize that the wounds are looking for comfort in places that are harm and where we have to dim ourselves and change our personality to be able to navigate in the environment, because if we were fully awake, there was no way that you would be tolerating any of this. Yet this is the thing about you know what trauma can do and where people are like well, why can't you see it? It's like well, it's because there's these defense mechanisms that have been created that are protecting my psyche from seeing myself to feeling my true emotions, to really do my worth.
Speaker 1:
Nat, sorry, my mom is knocking at my door and my dog is going crazy. Can I just? Can we pause?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, now, after your divorce and going through all of that journey, can you give me what your definition of forgiveness is?
Speaker 1:
My definition of forgiveness is giving up that anything is wrong. Because I think, sometimes think, you know, yes, it is about acceptance, yes, it is about letting ourselves, releasing ourselves from the emotional prison that we put ourselves into because of someone else's behavior or our own. But I think, at the end of the day, you know, we can't have peace and happiness without forgiveness. And yet people, kind of you know, roll their eyes at forgiveness and they think it's well. First of all, I think we haven't been taught what forgiveness truly is. You know, because I have this conversation with my clients all the time and they're like I want to forgive my brother, but I don't. What he did was unforgivable, or I don't want to let him off the hook, or that would make me a doormat, and so they think that it's about the other person. But it's really about our experience of life. Every time we think about that person or that thing that happened which robs us of peace and joy and connection and happiness, and that's, you know, so many of us, that's what we want, and yet we don't know how to do that and we spend more time resisting and fearing than we have we are really actually being loving to each other. So I think forgiveness is such a big piece and it's funny you mentioned that because I'm actually creating a project around forgiveness where I am interviewing people who have amazing stories about how they were able to forgive, starting with my mom and her story of forgiving my dad after we found out that he was sick, and how he was able to come home and how she was with him by his side while he was doing all the treatments and his transplant.
Speaker 1:
And then you know the moment when he passed away.
Speaker 1:
We got to be with him and to love him and support him and ask for forgiveness and all the things that you do. You know when you watch someone you love pass away, and it's been 22 years now that my dad's been passed. But I'm clear that had my mom not forgiven him because she loved him, there was no denying that but has she not forgiven? We would have not. My dad probably would have died alone and we would have not had that extra 13 years. And, and you know, in that 13 years my dad was a better father, a better husband. He found his relationship with God because he wasn't working, so he went to church every single day with my mom and so I hope that you know in the afterlife that he has redeemed himself and has found peace. And you know, and I I feel him a lot, especially when my mom talks about the stories of of what happened and, yeah, I definitely still feel his energy around me how do you apply forgiveness for yourself when you've been going through challenges with people?
Speaker 2:
what does that process. Look for you for me.
Speaker 1:
I usually first of all ask myself what is it that I need to forgive myself for, before I even look at other people. So I so. For example, um, the eight-year-old, little nine-year-old girl standing at the window. It's like what can I forgive her for? I can forgive her for not knowing or for feeling this way, for making up stories that her dad's a bad person, that you know, or making men making it that what he did is what is all what men do, and just not loving herself enough to feel, to feel worthy of having a great relationship.
Speaker 1:
Because what I did was I was, you know, in my teens I was attracting and interested in men that I knew would never be good for me. So I guess, subconsciously I was like, well, if I know they're going to leave me, why would I find a great guy? Right? And so I dated the liars, the cheaters, the abusers, the ones who told me that's crying was weakness and, yeah, created even more damage. So, yeah, I think, I think, but I, I truly think that forgiveness is the pathway to love and peace and happiness, all the things we we want, because we're dealing with humans and other humans who are flawed, who don't think like us, who have their own wounds right, hurt people, hurt people.
Speaker 1:
And I think just remembering that reminds me to have compassion, because we don't know what's going on for the other person. The other thing I also think about when it's with someone else. So I had a best friend who hurt me just kind of left. She had her own stuff going on and was kind of like, yeah, I can't, you know, I need to take a break if you will. And she just wasn't there for me and it was very hurtful because we had kind of created this really strong bond, this like together forever, you know, together forever, you know.
Speaker 1:
And part of my brain was like, okay, do I just kind of wait and hold on, put this relationship on a shelf and when she comes back, you know, pick up like nothing happened, or do I just let her go completely, like almost like, like like dumping, if you want to call it, and just take her out of my life? And what I asked myself was okay, well, janelle, what are you actually committed to? Because I think from that, from a place of what I'm committed to, the ego is now set aside. So I asked myself what am I committed to? And what I heard what I got was I'm committed to peace, peace for her, peace for myself, because, again, I don't know what she's dealing with. I know she's dealing with some parental old wounds, but I don't actually know what it's like for her. And so if I can just bless her and pray for her and, more importantly, know that it's not about me Because I think that's the heart, the hurtful part, right, we think it's about us, like what did we do wrong? Or what did I do wrong? And is she being honest with me, like is there something that I did wrong? And she's not telling me I did it wrong? She's just saying that it's, it's, it's not me, it's not you, it's me, right. But that I think that's the most current situation where I really had to apply these principles in order to heal and be okay. And yeah, our relationship is great again Now, not the same as it was, and that's okay, you know, but it was.
Speaker 1:
And what the gift in that whole situation was, I had to learn to be my own best friend, because my whole life, like I'm the eldest of three, so I've always had my siblings around, I'm super close to my mom. I've always had friends Right. I've never lived alone, so really truly being alone in that moment and my husband was his dad had just passed away, so he was in Newfoundland where he's from, and my mom was in the Philippines. So my usual pillars of strength, if you will, were not around and I really had to stand for myself. And it was. It was kind of scary and I know that sounds silly for some people like what do you mean? But I just was.
Speaker 1:
So I didn't know myself long enough by myself and long enough to know who I truly was and so it was actually a gift, because I really got to discover who I am, how to be my own best friend and to talk to myself in a way that is not, you know, diminishing, because I think that normal thought, the normal voice, is telling me that I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not not, not enough of whatever right, fill in the blank and yeah.
Speaker 2:
Now I know for some listeners in your message message there's a lot of repair and staying connected with the person.
Speaker 2:
With forgiveness, what does your boundary look like for people that you cannot be around, that you have forgiveness, you open your heart, yet they are not to be around you.
Speaker 2:
Because I think that's another misconception that people have with forgiveness is you forgive and then you let the people in and it's like, well, if you're willing to do their work. Because for me the definition of forgiveness is doing the work to open your heart back up. Because when you've been, you know, with those dense emotions of anger and fear and sadness and pain, that you know there's an armament around your heart and there's looping of wanting that other person to suffer, but really you're just swallowing the poison. So how do I open up this heart and stop swallowing this poison to come into the space of peace, like you're mentioning enjoy. Yet I again, I think a lot of people and I've fallen trap into that forgiveness. I have to be in connection with this person. There was a reason why they came into my life and it's like, well, no, there could be the work of boundary, work of you know you don't put yourself in harm's way with people.
Speaker 2:
So what would that look like for you in your life and?
Speaker 1:
harms away with people Exactly. So what would that look like for you in your life? I think it's getting real clarity about. I have a philosophy around people coming into lives. You know, some of them are there for just a split second, Some are there for a season, some of them for a lifetime, and I just get yeah, that was the season of that person. There was something that they brought to my life, whether it was a tough lesson or love or whatever that is, and I can just be grateful for that, and it doesn't have to continue if it doesn't serve me.
Speaker 1:
But here's the thing, nat, nat, I think a lot of people what's missing is they don't know their values and so they're not able to put up those boundaries and articulate those boundaries, and I think that's one thing that I do quite well with people, and so I'm okay to just say, hey, you know what I'm, you know I'm, I'm happy for you, I'm glad that you know that we're okay, and just leave it at that. And I wish you well and just leave it at that. And I wish you well, not like so what are you doing next weekend? Right, but I just, I think it's.
Speaker 1:
I think people think it has to be one or the other.
Speaker 1:
Like it's either like like cut them off completely or let them in your life, like you can. There's this happy place in the middle where, yeah, they don't have to be part of your life, cause here's the other thing, too is I'm busy, so I'm not going to spend time with people or things that don't serve me, and you just have to be that clear about what it is that you want in your life and what is going to take what is worthy of your time and space, and if that person isn't or that thing isn't in alignment with your values and it doesn't bring you joy and happiness. But if you don't know your values, you doesn't bring you joy and happiness. But if you don't know your values, you don't know that and so you let everything in. And so with my clients, that's usually the first thing we work on is like what are those values, so that you can create boundaries and your gut is a hard yes or a hard no. I think that's where we sometimes get lost, including myself, for sure it's always a work progress.
Speaker 2:
I want to bring you into a reflective question. I want to ask you to bring your awareness right now and go back to your 18 year old self, and you have three words you can tell your 18 year old self to carry you to the journey of right now. What would they be?
Speaker 1:
18 year old self Interesting Cause when I was 18, I was dating. I was dating a very abusive guy, the one who would tell me if I, when I cried that I belonged in a mental institution. Um, that I was, that I was weak. So it was really interesting. As I stand at 18, the first thing I just right away is like love yourself. You know, I'm clear that I'm not your normal. I have beat to my own drama. I've done my own path my entire life. Every time I try to fit in, it never works. I think love yourself is first. I feel like just love yourself is so much of it, you know. Love your quirks, love your flaws, love your shortness, love your intensity. Because I think so much of my life I tried to play small and be small because I felt like being myself was too much for other people and it often resulted in me feeling alienated or made fun of because of my extrovertedness maybe. But yeah, love yourself is the only thing I can really hear right now.
Speaker 2:
It's good, it's a powerful one. The only thing I can really hear right now.
Speaker 1:
It's good, it's a powerful one, it's a big one, right? It's just like when you're 18, you're trying so hard to fit in, to be loved, to not be alone, to be pretty, to be tall, to be skinny, to be all these things, and just being like you know what, who I am, is okay, it's perfect.
Speaker 2:
Exactly as you mentioned at the beginning a child of god. Yet we think that we forget the diversity and we have such, we're so lured into the comparison trap or a model of what perfection and beauty looks like, so we're always lured outside of accepting our uniqueness, accepting, you know, our quirks, our flaws, our imperfections, our accolades, our beauty, like all these different things come all together and you know, again, being tethered into what brings joy and peace for you, rather than what is, lord, on the outside of this perception of a mask lured on the outside of this perception of a mask.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I definitely wore a mask for a very long time. You know, I think when I was a kid, I was molested by a family, distant family member, grandfather figure, and I remember thinking to myself, or made I made a decision in that moment that I was stupid. And I remember thinking to myself, or made I made a decision in that moment that I was stupid and I saw how that had followed me all through, even a little bit, even till now, right, and so trying to mask all the insecurities. I think we all do that at some, at some level. And so, you know, part of my, my work, especially in my business, has been to be authentic, to be vulnerable, to share my scars, to share the parts of me that I'm not proud of.
Speaker 1:
But you know, I want people to know that even though they may look at me and be like, wow, you have such a great life and you have this great business and a great husband, and it's like, yeah, and I'm just like you, I'm no different, right, I still have all those same thoughts and insecurities. I just deal with them in a very specific way and I don't I don't get stuck in that in the mud, as long as most people would be stuck, but that's the only difference, I think. Sometimes we go, we just want our life to be perfect. Where we never stress, we never worry, it's like, yeah, that's, that's not real.
Speaker 1:
But if we can learn how to. We can learn how to manage it, we can love it and even lean into it, like get curious about it. Like, instead of hiding and avoiding fear, what if we got curious and like actually be empowered in that, in that fear, because that fear has has a purpose? I think that we can really live a life of freedom and joy and possibility yeah, we can.
Speaker 2:
Are you willing to share what your intention was in the meditation at the beginning?
Speaker 1:
To be playful, authentic. I think those were the two be playful and authentic.
Speaker 2:
And we've done that throughout the conversation. I know now the listeners are like okay, not enough, when can I find Janelle? So can you let the listeners know where they can find you?
Speaker 1:
where can I find Janelle? So can you let the listeners know where they can find you? Yeah, they can find me at JanelleGreencom or at SaveOurMarriageca. And yeah, I just I love you know what? To be honest, I love working with men. I think that there is this shift in the world recently where men are starting to show up in a different way, which I'm really excited about. I mostly work with couples and I work with singles, but the interesting thing is, more men are showing up and putting their hand up and saying I need to work on myself, I need to open my heart.
Speaker 1:
I realize that you know, what happened with my parents is keeping me from being a great husband and it's so encouraging for me that men are putting their hand up and also, more importantly, willing to show their emotions and understand their emotions.
Speaker 1:
So I just love my work, really do, and it's it feels very spiritually led and I feel like my husband has been the greatest partner, supporter, cheerleader that I could ever ask for. And you know our marriage really is. I think the the secret sauce to the work that I do, because I'm not just talking about like here's what you should do about your marriage. You're like here's what we do. Here's where we got stuck and here's how we solved it. And so it's like on the court in reality, and they're like, oh okay, I could follow that and then they could just replicate that. And so it's pretty amazing to be with people who are on the verge of divorce or have just experienced infidelity themselves, and helping them get on the other side of it in a matter of months, not years, not decades, but quickly. And so I see miracles every single day in my work.
Speaker 2:
Beautiful. Well, I want to thank you, janelle, for this playful and authentic conversation and the alchemy that you've done in your life. You've taken the impurities and you've transformed them into gold and not just keeping it for yourself, you're sharing it with others. So I want to thank you for doing that and the light that you bring into this world. Thank you, nat. Nat, you as well. Please remember to be kind to yourself. Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them.
Speaker 3:
It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation, so please take action and share out the podcast.
Speaker 2:
You can find us on social media, on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self. And if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, Come into a discovery call.
Speaker 3:
LiftOneSelfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.
