Lift OneSelf -Podcast
Step into the serene sanctuary of self-care, where our journey of truth and mindfulness begins by dismantling the stigma surrounding mental health. Immerse yourself in profound conversations as we unravel the mysteries of mental health, meditation, and personal growth, exploring the profound impact of trauma on the nervous system. Join our nurturing community, where we uplift each other by sharing invaluable tools and services, gracefully navigating life's challenges with resilience. Prepare to awaken your mind, nourish your soul, and embrace the transformative journey of self-discovery.
As I traverse the vast expanse of the digital world, connecting with diverse voices across the globe, I invite others to share their stories and provide insights and tools. If you listen deeply, in every story you can catch a glimpse of yourself in the details.
Welcome to the Lift OneSelf podcast, where every dialogue sparks curiosity and ignites your spirit.
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www.LiftOneSelf.com
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Remember, always be kind to yourself.
Lift OneSelf -Podcast
Journey to Empowerment with a Light Empowerment Coach -Episode 118
Navigating the intricate dance between self-care and selflessness, this episode takes a deep dive into the art of giving without depleting our own reserves. Birgitta 's candid tales of overgiving, fraught with lessons in valuing her own time and energy, strike a chord with us all. We explore the necessity of an energy exchange in every relationship, the complexities of our relationship with money, and the beauty of recognizing our own worth without seeking validation from external sources. It's a conversation that fosters a deeper understanding of our patterns, and the commitment we must make to respect our own limits for holistic well-being.
We wrap up this inspiring discussion by examining spiritual perspectives on life, death, and the cycles in between. Birgitta opens up about her experiences with channeling and the emotional resonance of such spiritual communication. We contemplate the profound advice to live authentically, driven by passion rather than obligation, and share insights on the principles of strength, love, and freedom that guide our lives. It's a reminder to be gentle with ourselves as we learn, grow, and connect more deeply with one another—because at the heart of our journey lies the courage to be vulnerable and the power of embracing our truth.
Connect with Birgitta here
www.powersoulhealing.com
Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help.
Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others.
The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces.
I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.
Our website
Https://.LiftOneself.com
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Music by prazkhanal
Remember to be kind to yourself.
Remember, the strongest thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help.
Please help us grow by subscribing to and sharing the Lift OneSelf podcast with others.
The podcast intends to dissolve the stigmas around Mental Health and create healing spaces.
I appreciate you, the listener, for tuning in and my guest for sharing.
Our website
LiftOneself.com
email:
liftoneself@gmail.com
Find more conversations on our Social Media pages
www.facebook.com/liftoneself
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Music by prazkhanal
I'm looking forward to this because this is my deep dive space that I love to interact in and speak about, so I'm really excited with this conversation.
Speaker 2:Me too. Let me just put something on silence.
Speaker 1:Is there anything that you feel inspired to talk about that came up maybe in the past few days or today? It's?
Speaker 2:funny, I was actually driving, maybe in the past few days or today. It's funny, I was actually driving. You know I like to drive, but I had to go somewhere today and I took the back roads because I'm in Spain, so you see all the fruit trees and everything. And I love that because it is my mind, it creates peace in my mind. Not that I meditate, I do, but this is different, you know, and I was thinking about life. And I was thinking about life, really thinking about life.
Speaker 2:And again, sometimes it's these experiences that we go through and I was thinking, you know, even though I've learned a lot, I still allow people to take advantage of me. And then it's like I'm not mad because I take responsibility for it, but it's like it's so subtle to help someone. But there is, of course, it's, an energy exchange. It doesn't matter, but it's still nice to just get an energy exchange for it. And I was thinking but you know what, brigitte, it doesn't really matter, it's okay, you've helped somebody on their way, they've been inspired to move forward in their life, and that's actually the main thing.
Speaker 1:We're speaking the same language um navigating, with um being a helper. I'm a helper. Yes, I've worked on the aspect of. You know the nervous system with the four F's, the fight, flight, freeze and fawn. So I understand a lot of fawning people, pleasing, helping, wanting other people not to suffer pain, feeling the reward that you get from people, because you know if you didn't get a sense of reward by helping people, people wouldn't be doing it. So there's a sense of reward system that comes in. Yet my work in the past, like two years, has really been to release that defense mechanism of thinking I need to share and to give to everybody and recognizing.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute. Are you taking care of you? You can give. I've made it that I cannot be one that just doesn't give. You don't have to overgive.
Speaker 2:No, you do not, absolutely not. And I realized that because you know I'm a light language healer and I love it because it gives me practice. I do have my clients, and this was someone that I'd been helping for nearly three months free of charge. Now she's doing light language because she went to my mentor and it's just flowing for her. So I know she's going to get her clients and stuff like that, and it's amazing. It was just that little niggle wiggle that was in me that just said Rikita, you spent three months, three months every week and that is a lot of work, whereas you know my guides saying yes, of course I've been tuned up. I'm getting another tune up for light language because I like to progress and develop as it is anyway, because it's always changing. We're forever changing, you know, and that's the beauty, that's the beauty about life itself, and I just clock everything up to experiences. But sometimes it's okay if we slip and fall back. It's okay as long as we are consciously aware of it.
Speaker 1:What did you learn? I'd ask you what did you learn?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean for the light language. Yes, it elevated my consciousness, but it's also learning just to set boundaries a little bit. And that is. You know, I'm happy to help people but do not swallow me whole and I've allowed that again. And it's not consciously that I kind of did that. I just did it because I wanted to see how she would evolve and it's just been an amazing journey for her, and the healing journey as well, her physical ailments, and so that's worth a weight in gold.
Speaker 1:It is For me, where I've helped clients for free it's I can see a sense of I'm afraid to put myself out there and the relationship with money and caring about you know other people in their financial situation more than my own, but also seeing that let me do this as a test project and see what happens. So then I have a testimony and I didn't really have any kind of accountability because it's like, well, it was for free and if it doesn't work, well then it's nothing, but if it works, please come back and be that testimony so I can gather more people, which, it's true in business it translates like you have to do some freeness and volunteering and gather the experience, yet at a certain point, like you have to do some freeness and volunteering and gather the experience, yet at a certain point you have to honor the gift that you have and not look for that validation.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and you know I've put my prices up and they're going to stay that way. You know, just because we're healers, everything is an energy exchange. We still live in this world where we have to pay to make our way, so to speak. We have to pay our bills, right, that's just the way it is. And just because we do this kind of work doesn't mean we have to do it all for free.
Speaker 1:I think spirituality and some of this language in the healing space really distorts, especially if you're empathic and you want to give so much, then you kind of create an identity of I don't want to take from people, I don't want to take advantage, and it's like yeah, you do, absolutely, absolutely, you do, and that's exactly what you vibe out.
Speaker 2:So when you vibe that out, you pull that right back in, and it was just something that I was thinking about so much today and it's just. You know, it's just a life lesson, but it's okay to help people, but only to a certain extent and just because you love them. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, you know, only to a certain extent.
Speaker 1:Well, I would say you love them, yet you also have to put your love in front of them. It's an end in both absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 1:We have this um, we're so conditioned to see black and white and that two things can't coexist. Yep, like if I love you, I have to put myself in the background or I have to put something else where it's like. No, like you can have both existing and recognize what you, where the value is, like they both have value. Yet we absolutely intend to turn off a certain emotion or feeling so that we can feel that we can go present, because the two just conflict with each other too much, too much, and they don't know how to coexist with each other. Yeah, does that make sense? Yes, it does absolutely absolutely do.
Speaker 2:You know what I do doubt, though. I am following somebody with Jeffrey Allen on Mindvalley and I don't care for the guy that runs it but the grounding exercises. I'm telling you how to harness your spiritual energy. It's so powerful, so powerful, so simple, yet so profound. It's just like, oh my gosh, the quiet in your mind. I just pop a couch right behind my eyes and I just sit there and then I ground myself. You know, and I'm you know you envision the roots going down all the way to the core of the earth, and then it comes back up and then you just expand your energy and you're so present in your body.
Speaker 1:It's, it's unreal that's the main thing of healing is coming back to home, coming back in your body. Yeah, yes, it is. A lot of us are in our head and it's well. If you want to be connected with intuition, with energy, it requires you to come back into the body and understand your nervous system, understand what the biology and honor your uniqueness. It's very difficult not to get into the comparison trap and compare your abilities or your strengths to somebody else and have those wants and desires where it's like are you honoring where you are right now and allowing that to amplify in abundance? And yet we're indoctrinated and we're told that we're not good enough and to do better and to be better and yada, yada, and then you start running, not appreciating what you do have and when you scorn the body, that creates a disconnection in communication.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Not only that, but you hijack. You're like a hijacker or a robber on the Meridian Highway within your body. I can't attach, you know.
Speaker 1:Like a carjacker, exactly, exactly, exactly, um. So you know and this is the inner work, where, where I I think with um what I try to give the message, because there's a part where, all of a sudden, you have the haha, you've done the work you feel like, oh, I get it. Now I'm, I'm on my surfboard, I'm surfing, everything's fine. So you think you're at an arrival and nothing will disturb me anymore. I'm on my fly, thing will be amazing. And it's like oh, and then boom, life hits you and you're like, and it's like well, you're learning this to be able to navigate. There's no arrival. I know you would like it, I would like it too, yet no, there isn't. Life is impermanent and it's going to hit you with different things and your nervous system. What you want is a healthy nervous system that can ride the waves, not, and it's like brakes. You don't want to always be on the brake and you don't always want to be on the gas pedal.
Speaker 2:You need to pivot between the two, or else you can't experience.
Speaker 1:I call that going from station to station. Yeah, so some of the you know the language and people and it's, I feel, for some people when they're looking and I've been been there looking for all answer that pill that will just make it all all the time and it's like that's not being human and you came to experience a human experience. I agree, I agree, yes, Do you need those.
Speaker 2:I always say, yeah, do you know what I say about human? I always say you know, you split the words up which I'm sure you know what I say about human. I always say you know, you split the words up which I'm sure you know you've got you. And then you is color or light. Light, we're wondering, like we're wondering. We're like men wandering the earth, you know, trying to understand and navigate life um through our experiences and returning to that love for ourselves and each other.
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly. Well, some of this is we've already gotten into the conversation, yet I want to welcome you onto the podcast. It's a delight to be able to talk to somebody openly and to dive deep and share ideas and experiences, so I'm looking forward to what further we are going to dive into in this conversation.
Speaker 2:So welcome, Brigitte. Thank you so much for having me, Nat. Yeah, we were already having an interesting conversation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, will you join me in a meditation so that we can ground and sync our hearts together? Absolutely. And for the listeners there's many of you that listen to a podcast in a car or running or doing activities I'll ask you to not do the visual prompt. I'm stating I want you to keep your eyes open so you can keep yourself safe and other people safe. Yet the other prompts you're able to follow through and do with whatever activities you're doing. So, brigitte, I'll ask you to close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose and you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out. You're not going to try and control your breath, you're just going to observe it. There may be sensations or feelings that are coming up in the body, or you may be becoming aware of the pattern of your breath. All is safe to feel, to witness and to release. Keep your awareness on your breath. Surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be. Be with your breath, drop into your body, stay with your breath, continue being aware of your breath.
Speaker 1:Brigitte, I'm going to ask you in your mind to create an intention you want to bring forth in this conversation and for the listeners. And when you've created that intention, I'll ask you to release it into your thought, your mind, allowing it to drop into your nervous system, down into your throat, your voice, down into your heart, down into your stomach, into your life force. While still staying with your stomach, into your life force, while still staying with your breath, allowing that intention to radiate out surrounding you in your energy force, while still staying with your breath dropping further into the body, while still staying with your breath, I'll ask you, at your own time and at your own pace, you're going to gently open your eyes while staying with your breath. How is your heart doing good? Can you let the listeners know who Brigitte is? Yeah, I can.
Speaker 2:Let me just you know it was a good meditation. Thank you for that. Take your time, yeah, so well. Who am I? As Saint Germain always says, I am you as much as you are me. You know we are all a part of each other, but as an individual walking my journey here on earth, I'm a jack of all trades, but I'm also a soul empowerment coach at Divine Channel and a light language healer.
Speaker 1:Well, some of my listeners may not understand that language. Some of them will, yet some of them won't. So for the ones that don't, can you educate them what those titles mean?
Speaker 2:yeah, so a light language healer is someone that's well. Light language, first of all, is the cosmic language of love. You're not going to understand it on a conscious level and you don't need to understand it. Your mind doesn't need to understand it, but your soul will absorb these healing codes just beautifully, and it's an ancient form of healing but it's so beautiful and it's different to like spiritual healing because it's, yeah, like I said, the codes that come through from many of the light beings. It will pertain to that soul. That's right in front of me.
Speaker 1:What does a soul empowerment coach look like?
Speaker 2:Soul empowerment coach? Yes, it's actually in the wording. It's all about empowering ourselves to the grit of who we most wholesomely are. We often give our power away, and we don't always do that consciously, but then we shift the blame to others and we point the fingers at others and it's really taking back our power and taking back control of our life and our soul's mission. And our soul's mission that's a funny one, because people will always ask me what's my soul's mission? Well, that's what you came here to figure out. And the only way that you're going to figure that out is by doing the healing work.
Speaker 2:Um, and for so long I've said I mean many years ago I said, when I did so much healing work, oh, I've got no more shadow signs, I'm healed, I'm healed and the universe is going really for Gita. Because that is not the case. We are constantly evolving and that's the beauty of life, because life's just an experiment to experience in all its flavors. So that's a soul empowerment coach and divine channel is I channel many of the light beings, the ascended masters, the archangels, many, many of the gods, goddesses. You know, these to me are just labels, because we're all light anyway and it makes it easier for people to discern them when I convey the messages and I just call myself a bicourier because I'm Dutch anyway. So whoever has a message to convey, I just jot it down. I write it down and I love doing it. I really enjoy inspiring and empowering other people to live a life far more fulfilled than where they're at in this point in time.
Speaker 1:How did you get here? What brought you into offering these service to other people? What was it in your personal life that you experienced?
Speaker 2:A whole lot of well, a whole lot of trauma. I had to go through a whole lot of trauma. It was like a roller coaster right my life. Honestly, I look back at it now and I'm so grateful for everything that I've been through. But let me just sum it up for you.
Speaker 2:You know I had a pretty normal childhood until probably like 10 years old, um moved to Singapore Malaysia with my parents from Holland, so grew up there, loved culture, was molested by a friend of the family in the 1980s. As I always say, the 1980s were very different to the way the world is now. People are far more open and they can talk about it Not that everyone does, because everyone deals with their pain differently but at the time I didn't even understand, so I didn't say anything and I kept that with me for nearly 10 years. But when I was 14, my dad passed away from coronary heart disease. We just returned from Malaysia to Holland, rode on his bike and took a last breath and that was it. He was gone and he knew it. He knew it because he didn't take his medication.
Speaker 2:Could you call it a form of suicide? Yeah it, he was gone and he knew it. He knew it because he didn't take his medication. Could you call it a form of suicide? Yeah, probably. He was tired, he walked out of life and, um, I was bullied in high school because I'm 5 11, I'm very skinny and I had an immense fear for boys and people would copy my homework, and it was. I look back at it now and I you know bullying goes on a lot in in schools, everywhere, and it still does. It still does and kids suffer from it and kids don't realize how cruel they can be.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I do remember going to Belgium for a school trip and through through the, and one of the kids just grabbed me by my arm and said to the whole class I did like this and he's like, look how skinny she is. And that just had such an effect upon me. I also chucked out my lunch, my school lunches, my homemade school lunches. That's how bad it was, and I would sit at the dinner table and eat. But I think throughout my life, many, for many years, to be honest with you, that was kind of my superpower not eating because that was something that I could control and it was the same for work. You know, you could put me in the desert. I've traveled the world. I mean, I'm 50 in June and I've traveled the world. I mean I'm 50 in June and I've traveled more times than my age. I always try to this is one of the things I think. I oftentimes I try to seek that happiness without myself and that's what we do. And when we do that, it's like a butterfly that keeps polluting us because we try and grab it, but everything comes from within. It keeps polluting us because we try and grab it, but everything comes from within. So my mom, she actually put me on a modeling course when I was 16, but yeah, you know, because I was walking around like the hunchback of Notre Dame because I didn't want to be seen, I just wanted to be invisible. I had zero self-worth and that didn't help. I mean, I did get I was the main model for a hairdresser, but that didn't help. I mean, I did get I was the main model for a hairdresser, but that didn't help me because he chopped off my shoulder length hair into a pixie cut and I felt so ugly. I felt so ugly like this, and then I was a late bloomer, as it was anyway.
Speaker 2:But when my stepdad passed away in 2000 from cancer, you know, I helped my mom out every single weekend. I was in London and she was in Buckingham and I went there every single weekend to help her out because it was tough, and when he crossed over it was my mom was leaning on me emotionally and I needed an outlet, and so I had friends, but they were a little bit in the drug scene. I went to the races for like three months, you know, coke, molly, you name it. I was still functioning but I suffered from blackouts and the thing that really shook me to my core is that I had sex and I couldn't even remember it. It was like I was there but I wasn't there, had sex, and I couldn't even remember it. It was like I was there but I wasn't there. It was a violation and that just went too far. And that's another thing. That is trauma. And so I carried that with me for a long time. I just potted it up, I traveled I mean, I've been all over the world but I also fell into dysfunctional relationships.
Speaker 2:That was going to happen because I was so broken on the inside, I was so traumatized on the inside. That is exactly what I attracted, because we attract partners that are triggers, sometimes triggers to us, their reflections, their teachers and I wish people would see it that way rather than becoming bitter. It's like have that gratitude that someone has been in your life to show you the way, to show you these triggers so that you can, so that you become aware of them and you can elevate your consciousness and understand more about life. And I needed to learn that, because I was really good at people pleasing. Oh my goodness, I was so afraid to tell people how I felt. I had an immense fear of saying something wrong. I didn't want to hurt people and that's the thing. I became such a people pleaser. People just walked all over me, all over me, and I allowed it.
Speaker 2:I allowed it and my guides in the universe were going Ohitte, how's it going down there in 2009, I really hit the bottom of that rock. I will tell you one funny story that happened that I've never said, I've never said on the podcast. It's really funny. Um, in New York you have these um charlatan sidekicks, right, and one time I've had to get a grape, a grapefruit, and put it under my bed for several days and put it like in a in a in a towel and get some dust and, uh, wrap it around in my favorite white shirt. And so I went. I went back to this woman and she, she smashed the thing. And I'm thinking, oh my god, my shirt. And so I went.
Speaker 2:I went back to this woman and she, she smashed the thing and I think, oh my god, my shirt. And it was 900 in that too. This is what they do. And she's mentioned. You know what she said oh my god, you have so much negativity around you. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. And I was like sugary banana. I should have grabbed my 900 bucks and, you know, went out the door, but I didn't. And I look at it now because this is, oh my goodness, this is like in 2001 that it happened. When people just get taken for a ride. It's incredible and I thought to myself afterwards oh sugar, I should have got another, another grapefruit. But the rituals that they let you do and the things they make you believe you know that there is something wrong with you, whereas all that they're doing is basically robbing you of your money. That's what they do. There is no good intent behind it, but I had to.
Speaker 1:I had to learn the hard way, so that was kind of a funny story yeah, and you know, when we're trying to seek that validation or answers and going on the outside, unfortunately there's a lot of people that are predatory and they're going to take advantage of they see it right right away.
Speaker 2:They do, oh, absolutely. And, like I said, I was so broken at that point. But, yeah, in 2009 was a huge turning point for me, because my ex he is doing very well, by the way, now I'm still in touch with him but he was a crack addict like a part-time crack addict and something that I was so oblivious to. Yes, I'd done drugs, but this was completely different Somebody on crack hands and I paid. You're going to laugh at this now. I paid for his flight from the US to Poland at the time because I had a really good job and I was just like that.
Speaker 2:But that's not the way life should work, because I did so much for every single one that I, every person that I was in a relationship with, but also all my interpersonal relationships, you know, going out on a limb for everyone, walking to the ends of the earth until I was scorched to to a crisp, and because that's what we do, and he did did want to get better, but in holland day, the clinics didn't take him on because he didn't have a social for holland and that was like a bit of a catch-22 situation. And then things just spun out of control. He pawned my stuff and he got in in bed with the dutch crips and they held him for ransom because he stole from them. And so I had the police out at the time and my mom took me out of Holland in the space of like three days because I was so much in a fight or flight mode. I just my mind was so shot that I was hardly functioning and, yeah, so I rented an apartment not far from my mom and I yes, I helped the police and they found him and they deported him back to the US and whilst I was in the UK, the leader of the Crips called me and he's like if I ever find you, I'm going to kill you. Yeah, and that really shook me to my core, but I needed to go through that. I look back at it now and I am so grateful for that experience, not whilst I was in the middle of it, but I understood why I had to go through it.
Speaker 2:It was the start of my holistic journey. I'm trying to figure out how to heal myself, because I downed a whole box of ibuprofens Very lame attempt at my own life and all it did for me was like I had a good night's sleep and my headache was gone and my mom just said, brigitte, go and see a counselor. I did, but after having a one hour session with her, she just said well, listening to you, I know you're going to be, I know you're going to be fine and you're strong enough to overcome this and that that went and that didn't help me. So I had to figure out you know a way forward and I found a Reiki practitioner and she was amazing and I also studied under her for like one and a half years for level one and two and, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:That was an amazing journey for me. It helped me so much and that was also really the beginning for me. And I studied many other healing modalities because I just wanted to understand. I studied drug and alcohol abuse, wanting to understand the minds of addicts and why they go, why they escape their pain on a temporary high. And it doesn't matter whether that's drugs, alcohol, chocolate, food, you name it. There are many forms of addiction. Many people escape their pain in different ways, and I studied aromatherapy, aromatize, became a meditation teacher as well.
Speaker 2:I can't even go through the whole list too much to name, but it helped me heal, it helped me understand a lot more about myself and, you know, things were okay for a little while until I got another character presented to me on a silver platter, different packaging, and my guys were like, oh, let's see what she's going to do now. Well, what did I do? Same old, same old. So I really and that was a completely different experience. And he's doing very well now as well. I'm not in touch with him, but he's doing well.
Speaker 2:Um, he had lost his mom, fell into depression, and he had a reckless and didn't pay the lawyer and then eventually had a arrest warrant over his head when he moved from an hour away to two doors down for me in saint petersburg, because I bought a home in Florida when the market crashed back in 2013. And I tried the same. I tried to find him jobs. I paid his bills because he couldn't pay it. But guess what? How many days a week was I working? Yeah, seven days a week. And that was just. And I just did it because that's the way I was wired. I wanted to save people, but you can't save people. They have to save themselves. You know, it's their journey, it's their growth. So let them fall, because, if not, in a way you're enabling them, but you're also hurting yourself because you're also stumping your own growth. And it's just so important to let people, let people experience their own lives. Um, so I really had to learn that. But it got so out of control. Because he would want to know where I was going. He could see exactly when my car you know when I would drive away. He still had the key to my house, refused to return it and he eventually he had. Well, I moved. I just moved away because I had no life anymore. I sold my home, bought another home, but of course, oh what happens? It was a money pit, living land and, uh, she had to move. He did have to move and I actually paid the deposit to the studio because he was begging and pleading for me, and so I did.
Speaker 2:And then it got even worse. I do remember this, like like yesterday I, he needed to go into a hotel because his place was being tinted out, the studio was being tinted and and I had to pay for his two cats too. So I paid for the hotel for several days and he stayed there and then he said well, can you pick me up, can you bring me back home? But it wasn't done yet, I wasn't going to pay for an extra night, and so I was so upset, I weaved through traffic like a maniac woman because I was just so done. I was so done.
Speaker 2:I was at a point where I couldn't give any more. I was at the end of my rope. I don't even understand how a cop didn't stop me because I was running every single light when he was holding on for dear life in the car. I remember this. But at the end of the day, you know, and I was screaming at him, at the end of the day he actually was able to go back to his home and I was just crying and crying at the universe. They said I cannot do this anymore. I just thought, and I learned to listen. I listened when that little breadcrumb came in the form of my sister, who had done combo treatment, which is shamanic frog medicine, and combo last month.
Speaker 1:Did you? How was it? It was an experience, it's phenomenal, it is phenomenal. Highly suggest it.
Speaker 2:Just know there's a lot of discomfort, it's not a lot of discomfort, yes, and I had the same thing and I didn't want to go in with any expectations. So I read, I did read up about it, but not as much. I did take a clean set of clothes with me, oh for sure, a clean set of underwear, because it's so extremely physical. And as soon as the shaman put the points on, oh my goodness, it just rushed to my head and I was just purging because you also have to drink two liters of water for drinking water on its own. But yes, I did, and I had to run up and down the toilet and it took me four hours. Then four hours, and the shaman said to me do you know why he's like? Because your ego was battling so, so hard to stay put and because I was so conditioned, I was so programmed to run a certain way that I didn't want to let go. And for me, what happened? I don't know what happened to you, but for me what happened after? I went two more times, but I was spaced out and I made up.
Speaker 2:I was so clear, so clear after that. I mean, I couldn't lie down, didn't want the tea, I just wanted to walk, you know, in nature. And when I got home, I had a good night's sleep, but I was so crystal clear. I actually not that I had much clutter, but I got rid of a lot of stuff. It went to charity and I made a whole bucket list, a bucket list of running. I promised my step that I would run in 2000 for charity, and I started doing that. 16 years later, um, I went skydiving because I have a fear of heights. Well, I need a feet in my pants. I was so glad when I hit the earth. Well, you know, when I, when I was knocked out, yeah, um, and I, just I knew that I needed to change my life, and it started with me. It was all about taking accountability and looking within, and so that was very, very powerful. So I'm not sure what you did after that.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I had my spiritual awakening 10 years ago because I almost died. I had lesions in my brain and cerebellum, so that will wake you up real quick. And you know, I discovered meditation a year after that. So that allowed me to somatically release a lot of the energy charges from a trauma that I experienced when I was a child and then I was a warrior, by facing myself. So I removed alcohol, I removed sex, I removed a lifestyle of going out all the time, I removed emotional eating. I really took out the vices that would help me to numb and distract and not interact with my own authentic emotions. So I really faced those things and because of the lesions I had to experience a lot of pain because they didn't.
Speaker 1:When I was in the hospital they didn't think I would walk again or be able to function or anything like that, because it was in my brainstem and in my cerebellum, tapped into a wisdom of really understanding that nervous system, like when the shaman saying the ego, it's like well, that's the nervous systems, defense mechanisms of creating a pattern and an identity, of thinking that that's making you safe, because that's what you, that's what's been constructed, and this is all subconscious, like you're not aware. So when people are like, just take accountability, it's not in a punishing way and unfortunately accountability has this punishing and just be this way, and it's like whoa, whoa, you'll never be able to override your biology. It's understanding it and being connected back into worth. Because what happens with trauma is you separate from the self, you separate from worth, you separate from the love and you go seeking it outside of yourself. Yes, and so the the why I took the cambo is because I still have scarring from the lesions, so it still causes pain in my every day, yet it's in the form of energy, so I'll just get really tired all of a sudden. And my thyroid is still out of whack and I understand autoimmune. There's something within me that's attacking. So it's like, well, whatever vibration that I may be doing that's ramping up my nervous system, let me remove it.
Speaker 1:So when I did cam the combo, I actually did a podcast yesterday with the person um that uh, did it for me, and so we talked about my experience. I, my um body went into low blood pressure so I actually even passed out during my session session, because I did two sessions back to back um, and then the purging, yeah, and, like I told him, I was like when I saw the bucket and I saw all that yellow stuff, I didn't understand why I wasn't tasting my mouth like why am I not tasting this bile that came out? Because usually when you purge up bile, yeah, like you said, like sometimes the senses block off, yet you're ingesting a lot of water so that bile gets diluted through it and everything else. And then I purged with a bowel movement with the second dose and it wasn't as intense, yet it still took me for a ride of low blood pressure and just discomfort and really, you know, seeing where the defense mechanisms are still trying to roll, still to be defensive, and, as he said, like at first it was you know the tussling, and then you just surrendered and like what I saw was courage and commitment because you really just I can't go anywhere, so let me not fight it anymore and just surrender.
Speaker 1:Into that I learned to like I connected with that little girl that was sexually harmed as a little girl of seeing you know, of how helplessness feels, so uncomfortable, how vulnerability as vulnerable as I am, there's still more depths of vulnerability that I can tap into. And I also saw that I wouldn't allow him to help me. So I crawled to the bathroom and I lifted myself up on the toilet and he was like, yeah, I noticed that and now that you're giving a verbiage, now you understand for yourself like what that looked like. Yet he's like like it's understandable that your biology would want to protect you, like, uh, you didn't know me, it's a male, is, and I'm in a situation that's very vulnerable. So you were still protecting yourself, which is perfectly fine.
Speaker 1:It's also seen like why wasn't I able to ask for help, um, and trust in like you, you know, listen to my intuition. Yet you know there's always two sides of things, or three or four. So it's not just one thing to hone in and you didn't do this. It's like giving context to a situation and, you know, expanding your self-awareness and really allowing yourself to befriend your nervous system, befriend all of the defense mechanisms and come into your body, like one thing that Campbell does. It's not a psychedelic, it doesn't make you hallucinate or anything. It brings you into your body and you cannot, and that's very true, you're right.
Speaker 2:It's very true. Yes, that's very true, you're right.
Speaker 1:It's very true, yes, the ride of being in your body and seeing all these different systems that function, like now you understand when you see it, like, oh, the heart palpitation and if you have panic attacks, like you can understand, oh, like it really feels a sensation of dying and it really feels this and feels that. So you get to understand your biology a lot more in these Cambo sessions. Well, I did Like I already know the nervous system and I have a very in-depth knowledge of it. It just brought me even more into my own journey, and so when I'm in my own journey, then that opens up a relation for other people that they can see themselves in my reflection, so that they're willing to be able to see themselves and not be afraid of what's being reflected back to them and seeing that they are the light and the shadows are just to be brought into their light of awareness so that they're not splintered all over, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2:That makes absolute sense. I love how you put that. I really love how you put that. Yeah, and you're right, it's all about surrender. I think that's any type of healing. But yeah, for combo, definitely you've got to surrender, you've got to go with it, you know otherwise, you've got no choice but to go with it.
Speaker 1:You know otherwise, you've got no choice but to go with it. I remember one part when I was like, oh, we're doing this again because you come back online when it starts to the intensity of the peptides aren't running through your system. So you come back online and your I was like okay, I can function. I didn't want to think, though, like, don't talk to me, don't ask me. Like you could speak to me, but don't think that I'm going to re-communicate, because trying to formulate thoughts or anything, I didn't have the neural energy for that Yet.
Speaker 1:I remember too, like he put the Cambo and I could feel it going up my leg, up the left side, and then, as soon as it started crawling up and into my brain, just low blood pressure, just, and I was like oh, I don't like this. And he was like what is it that you don't like? I'm like this helplessness, because for me it felt like when you have been inebriated and the room is spinning and you don't have access to your functions, yet you're in this spinning room. That's exactly what it felt like for me yeah, well, I could hardly get up.
Speaker 2:I needed to get up, but yes, but it does spin and because it does go into your head very, very fast, would I do it again? Yes, I probably would. I just had a very I didn't have. I mean, the shaman that I had in Florida was amazing, absolutely amazing. The one that I had in London was very good, but you know that happens and that's okay. It's still an experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, as I said to him, I was like you and he said, like the not wanting to be helped, may be you not being able to receive the masculine energy because you've been in your masculine, so not really surrendering into that female energy which makes total sense for me, and so it's like I had to like, really reinforce to him, like this space of compassion and gentleness and tenderness that you provided for, that sacred space was what made the experience like so much more profound and that I could surrender and feel safe, even though I still had, um, that sense of unsafety.
Speaker 1:Yet allowing myself to be able to surrender into whatever it looked like and not be performative because the messiness of it, your mind still wants a performance because it look like, and not be performative because the messiness of it, your mind still wants a performance because it's like, why, what am I like? I don't, I didn't even drink alcohol. Why am I looking this messy? Like what is going on? Um, so really allowing that surrender of that performative aspect of you know what the ego, what the, our mass and personas do into the worldly world of feeling a sense of belonging or acceptance. You've been so vulnerable with your story and I know many will be like, wow, like if she could go through all that and now she's on a part of really accepting herself and offering space for other people. I'm sure there's many that want to know where can they find you and what does it look like to work with you?
Speaker 2:What does it look like to work with me? I've lost. I always say that no, they can find me on my website, powersoulhealingcom. And there's one thing that I always say to people I may be a healer, but I'm simply a tool in the toolbox in unlocking your own inner healing potential. Potential potentialities, so to speak, because we are either our greatest healer we have the key to healing ourselves but we also have the red button to nuke ourselves. Yes, and go either way. And so that is always what I say to people.
Speaker 2:And when it comes to the light language, healing the healing will go wherever it needs to go. It's not like I'm some fairy godmother, because I'm. Healing goes in stages. It's not like, boom, you have one session and it's completely. Whatever you're suffering from, it's completely gone. It goes in layers.
Speaker 2:And what is meant for your soul? Because I mean, come on, we're here to experience life. We're here to go through the darkness, yeah, the dark night of soul, and to understand life. If, if I were a fairy godmother, yeah, how would you have people understand life? You know, I can't magically fix you and I'm not here to fix you, but the light language and I often, I, sometimes what will happen is I will delve into past life. So if people find fascinating, and there will be messages coming through and I have to be really quick because Often, sometimes what will happen is I will delve into past life, which people find fascinating, and there will be messages coming through and I have to be really quick because it's you know, the light language and then the message coming through.
Speaker 2:But I am so, so humbled to be able to do that. And don't think it came overnight for me, it did not. I've had to. Really, even the channeling that didn't come overnight for me. That took me a while, but I, I, when it came through after a workshop that I'd been to, I was just crying tears of joy and it was just. You know, you just put your mind aside and it's just sitting down, actually, with a pen and and paper or notepad and just saying to the universe I, I am ready and open to receive. It's actually that simple and rather than thinking with your mind, just allow for whatever comes through you to flow through you and that's it.
Speaker 1:You're the vessel to be able to, or the transmission to be able to allow the frequency to come through. So no different, like a radio transmission one end to the other end, and just allow that frequency to go out and the message to be to whoever it needs to be. I I actually I had two big, significant pod. I did four yesterday. Yet I had another podcast where we were speaking about someone's mother that had passed away in 2021 during COVID, and the front door opened up and I was like and she's like that has never happened before, so let's not pretend like this isn't real. And I was like, yeah, your mom came to join us in the conversation and give you more reassurance. She's like, oh, yes, I know now, like I really know.
Speaker 1:So when these things you know occur, it's a beautiful gift to allow people to see what's with, what's what is possible if they just let this logical mind not control everything and filter and analyze everything, that there's other dimensions and way of communicating that you can be in contact with.
Speaker 1:And it's not all demonic Like as soon as somebody dies. It seems like that always fascinated me as a child, where it's like, okay, well, they're, they're way, and we don't talk to them, to them and I'm like but if you love them, why would you not still want to be in contact with them? Why is it that you believe that once it leaves the body, they've gone to some dark, evil place that is going to come harm you, like I could understand if they were, you know, harming you in this life and not wanting them to come back to harm you some more. Yet the ones that you love, like, why are you shutting? Like and it always fascinated me and I was like well, I'm talking and I'm seeing things, and I know it's disrupting you and startling you, yet it's like okay, yet I'm not going to turn off this channel because there's a lot of gifts that come from it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally agree. I mean, you know people that cross over just in the room next door. They can see us. We cannot always see them and that's just because of our level of consciousness. We vibrate at a denser level of consciousness. And one thing that my guides have said actually they send the master, saint germain, who I work with a lot, um, and he said when people cross over, often people monocolo their grief, they remain in that grief and they cannot get past it. And when the soul transitions and it reawakens back home, it celebrates its graduation and it wants you to be happy for it. And we don't see that because it's been so ingrained within society that death is morbid and it shouldn't be celebrated, whereas millions of years ago in other civilizations it was celebrated. There may have been a period of sadness, even in the Atlantean times, even though they vibrated at a higher level of consciousness, but it wasn't like year in, year out, because they understood the cycles of life and death and reincarnation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a real indoctrination with the my being subjective and not I do my work of changing that narrative and that relationship with death, because it's been so distorted and it's like where did people become oblivious that it's part of life, like that's part of the contract of being alive, that there's going to be death and there's no timeline for it. Like, and we don't know the soul's purpose, like, with every death there's a ripple effect that awakes people, yes, that becomes, that becomes aware of. Oh, I let value the time that I have of life and not think I have, and let me find out what it is, that my purpose and and being connected back into joy of you know, living a life fully lived.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean that you don't have responsibilities. It doesn't mean that you don't do mundane things or things that you don't want to do. It's having a different perspective of this is the thing that's supporting my life. So how do I frame it in a wholeness with a W?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that is. I think that is that crux point, where people are being lived rather than living their lives, because they go to a job or they work from home. And you know, I've done it last year, worked nearly 70 hours a week until it was like Brigitte, what are you doing? This is not your passion, yeah, but I'm responsible. Yes, but I'm sorry If you get. You know, if you get driven over by a bus or hit by a bus tomorrow, they will replace you in the space of three weeks. And we don't often realize that. But you know you need to. You need to figure out what's important to you. You know what makes your heart sing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want to bring you into a reflective question. I'd ask you to take your awareness right now and bring it back to your 18 year old self, and you have three words to tell your 18 year old self to carry you through the journey. What would those three words be?
Speaker 2:Strength love and freedom words be Strength love and freedom Beautiful.
Speaker 1:Again, I want to thank you for this delicious, vulnerable, open, truthful conversation. I really appreciate having these kind of discussions and dialogues so other people can start to be interested or take a peek into their own healing and not feel like they're alone and not feel chastised or judged by their own judgment, so that they can start beginning the process of within and that journey in their portal. So thank you for doing the alchemy taking that trauma and those impurities and turning them into gold and sharing them with other people.
Speaker 2:No, thank you so much for having me, nat. As I always say to other people, don't let the world make you bitter, because what other people think of you doesn't matter. It says more about them than it says about you. It doesn't matter. It says more about them than it says about you. Do what works for you and do what makes you come alive and walk your healing journey and just reach out to someone. Reach out to anyone if you're suffering, but don't suffer in silence. Yeah, Beautiful.
Speaker 1:Please remember to be kind to yourself.
