Navigating Motherhood, Integrity, and Personal Growth

Balancing motherhood with personal and professional ambitions is no small feat, and Amanda Strojny knows this journey all too well. In this episode, she opens up about her own experiences, sharing the emotional rollercoaster of finding self-worth amidst societal pressures and the intense bonds with her child. Amanda's heartfelt conversation invites you to embrace all feelings authentically, rather than bypassing them with spiritual platitudes, and to understand that true surrender is a deeply personal and often uncomfortable process.

This episode also delves into the evolving nature of integrity and boundaries, especially when faced with the new challenges of parenting. Amanda emphasizes the importance of self-validation and patience, recognizing that one's previous capacities may not fit current circumstances. Through humility and the beginner’s mind, we explore the delicate balance between completion and fluidity, underscoring the need to take breaks without guilt and adapt to life's changing demands.

Finally, Amanda shares her transformative journey of leading with her heart rather than her analytical mind. From meeting her life partner to moving to Hawaii and becoming a mother, she highlights the significance of sensitivity and emotional awareness in living an authentic life. We discuss empowering conversations and resources, including Amanda’s podcast "Untapped Power," and her commitment to providing free financial resources. This episode is a heartfelt tribute to making conscious choices that align with one's current life stage and the ongoing practice of personal growth.

Find out more about Amanda Strojny here:
https://amandastrojny.com/

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Work and Motherhood Transition
• 7:09 Navigating Integrity and Boundaries
• 22:13 Embracing Vulnerability and Self-Discovery
• 32:32 Balancing Motherhood and Personal Growth
• 46:16 Empowering Conversations and Resources

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi Amanda, how's it going? It's going well. How are you?

Speaker 2: 0:05

Doing. Okay, yeah. What time is it today? 12, 15. So I'm in all the day. Okay, okay, yeah.

Speaker 1: 0:18

It's still well. It's quarter after six here, so, okay, still nice and warm. So it's still. You know, sun's still here until like 9 30, so it's nice when. Oh, that's nice, yeah, the summer months, because, yeah, but then we know when it's coming august and stuff, it's like, oh my gosh, the dark is the dreaded change.

Speaker 2: 0:43

How's the little one? She's good. Yeah, she's good, yeah, it's a fun adventure. I'm just, I guess I'm in that place of navigating like how to balancing, you know, work with being a mom, and so I think it's like, I think I'm in that space of pot, taking a big pause with everything you know and just focusing there and that feels like a loss a little bit. You know, it's hard to, yeah, it's hard to navigate, even though it's like something I've wanted and work towards. And then it's like, oh, okay, and then you take a. You know it's like is this finished or is? Are things just going to go in a different direction in a couple of years, you know, and yeah, so it's a big, I think a big shift.

Speaker 2: 1:35

I think I've been like fighting it, which almost makes it worse, like being like let me try to do both, let me stress myself out to try to manage all of it, and it's like this isn't working. So I'm like in that space of just being like you know what I need to be honest with myself and just own it and do it. And it's interesting Cause like I feel like I've done a lot of work up to this point. And then it's like this happened and I feel like everything just like like vomited up on the table and it's like no, here it is again Like do you? So it's great. It's funny when you have the perspective to look at it, when you're in it and you're like, you know, emotional and all the things. That's not funny, but it's like it's an interesting experience. You know that you can't really know until you're in it.

Speaker 1: 2:27

Yeah, Like I say, parenting is the highest spiritual practice to learn about yourself and the things that you know. Intellectually we think, oh, we did our work and it's all resolved and everything's fine. And then boom, and they're like, what shadow part is this? What are you talking about? And you described it really well, because it's all kinds of different dimensions and different parts. It's like I'm ecstatic and I want everything for my daughter and then.

Speaker 1: 3:00

But there's a part of me that wants her own autonomy and her way in the world and feel a sense of worth and value by what she creates in the world, and a little bit of busyness to not be a parent and a mom, because it gets suffocating in spaces and you know, and the grief and loss because now I'm not able to really have my own personal space, because, chemically, as much as you might be able to, you know, allow your partner to do some part, neurologically and chemically, you're still bonded to your child. So, even you know, go for an hour and go somewhere. Like your hormones, your body is all like where's the baby? Where's the baby? And it's like, what about Amanda? Like, can we just be with Amanda for a minute?

Speaker 2: 3:51

And I think and then those, you know, those ideas attached to, okay, well, I'm not defined by what I do, but, like, if I'm not doing anything, does that mean, like you know, it's so interesting to watch the mind go into these places of like, but I've been working on this for so long. You know what I mean and it's like, but you can't, you know what I mean. It's not possible right now to balance both. It feels like it's, you know, and to let that go is, like, so interesting, you know, and just the mind and the because, like I know that it doesn't mean anything, you know, but somehow it does in certain ways, intellectually it's been attached to mean something. So, yeah, that's, that's a hard practice.

Speaker 1: 4:38

So I think some of the spirituality kind of bypasses and harms some of our experiences, so that we can actually feel our emotions. Well, it doesn't have meaning. It actually does. It's part of our lived experience, and what is it that we want to create with this life and this time that we have? And so I think sometimes, you know, with the spirituality, it spirituality it's like, okay, just numb it away by not giving it meaning and just releasing it. And it's like, well, our nervous system has been programmed a certain way. So how do we actually feel it, so that we're not doing the bypass? How can we, you know, really understand what faith is, what that surrender really looks like, and that surrender isn't always all peaceful and bliss, like you got to open up that grip to let it go and it's like, oh, but I just don't want to go through that process. And it's like, well, that's the lived experience of resilience and understanding what that process is, not just bypassing it.

Speaker 2: 5:43

Yeah, no, that's true, yeah, and it's it's so true in so many ways. Just with a lot of these things, it's like I know it intellectually. You know what I mean. Like, okay, what I do doesn't doesn't define who I am. Right, how much money I make doesn't define who I am.

Speaker 2: 5:58

And then it's also how do you feel into that in your life? You know, over and over again in a world where it's like, but this person says it does you know? Or like in this conversation it seems like they're saying it does, or you know, it's like it's just, it's a battle. You know it's a battle. It's a fight to remind yourself of what's true for you.

Speaker 2: 6:22

You know, and I think when there's at least for me in this situation, when there's so many other factors of you know, exhaustion and just like depletion and overwhelm, that it's like it's harder and harder to combat that than it was before. And I think that's sort of where I'm at, where it's like okay, like I didn't hide it and I don't have the space as much anymore to like, be by myself, you know, even to think about it. It's like, you know. So it's that combination of, okay, this is, you know, a practice and I can't get back into it. Um, which is humbling Cause it's like okay, like you know it's, you have to keep trying you know to be in that place of truth for yourself.

Speaker 2: 7:09

You know over and over again to be like nope, it really doesn't matter. You know like, I really have to, I have to, I have to like really stick to what I feel is right for me.

Speaker 1: 7:19

And understand the capacity that you have just because you were able to do something before parenting. It's that context.

Speaker 1: 7:26

We can forget the context and recognize, like what was there before isn't the same context right now, and I'm not taking that into consideration and it's like what is the context? And it's like, oh, but I don't want to. And it's like allow the context so that you can see all the parts in you and, like you said, feel into it, so that you get to that truth for yourself. And I think you know the humbling allows us not to superimpose some of the things that we've gone through. Going through these experiences brings us back to a beginner's mind, so that when those are going through something, we're not just like, oh, you're not doing it right, and it's just this. And it's just that it's like we get to relate of understanding why there's no rival and why the practice just deepens and deepens and goes more profound Yet levels of Donkey Kong that I call them. And then you're waiting, I don't want the barrel to hit me again Like I just want to. I knew how to jump over these things start all like going back down to level three, like so you know just that humility allows us to have that presence and that we can have that profound, deep listening for others when they're going through their beginner's mind and reminding us that, to always have that beginner's mind and not think that we've arrived somewhere.

Speaker 1: 8:55

It's just, you know, it's a horizontal of walking down the path. It's not this vertical up and down that we've been led to have this hierarchy. It's like no up and down, uh, that we've been led to have this hierarchy. It's like no. Just a little bit down the path and look, I bumped into another part where it's like, oh, my brain doesn't like this, my nervous system doesn't like this and, as I always say, with the healing it's feeling and it's well like processing your shit. At parts it's like I don't got time for, like I don't got time for this, like I don't have time for this and, being a new mother, it's too much, like it's a lot to go through and to make sense of it. And I appreciate your vulnerability of expressing it so that you're able to validate yourself in a space where you know this is what I'm going through. And let me validate it for myself too, cause for myself, when I speak it outwardly, I can relate to it a little differently.

Speaker 2: 9:53

Yeah, it's true. Yeah, it's like it's not, you're not. I'm not trying to create this illusion of like oh, it's fine, you know, and then it's like but it's not, you know, and I want to be honest with that, with myself, and it doesn't mean I have to air all my shit to the world in an effort to be like okay, this is how I'm feeling. I almost feel the reverse of like, you know, it's not, it's my own process of working through it. But yeah, it's just, it's interesting to observe yourself in that way and be like okay, wow, like I'm, you know, and it's interesting what you going off of what you said too, when I think about it, like, so the arrival piece and so much for me is like this, like complete completion, you know, of also being like okay, I need to allow a space to be like I'm stopping this, you know, and making it really clear. And that's funny too, because it's like, if you just don't do anything for a little bit, like nothing's falling apart, it feels like things fall apart, right, or there's no like conclusive end, or there's no.

Speaker 2: 10:58

You know all the things, but I feel like a part of me is like you know all the things, but I feel like a part of me is like it's, it's not how it works. You know, you just don't, you don't know, so it's not. It doesn't have to be this big bold. Like this is done, I'll never do it again. Like let's focus on this, you know, and like things can weave in and out, and that's that's hard to do. Do too. I think I'm not coming from the type of person that's like wanting things to be very much like okay, I did this check, you know, I did that check like and not have something just like lingering of I don't know when I could come back to it, or maybe it's a month, maybe it's a year. You know that type of feeling of like. What does it mean?

Speaker 1: 11:45

um, really working on the mind when it wants all or nothing needs to just that completion, like you said. Where it's like you know what, we can take a break, and we, a lot of us, have been conditioned no, there's no breaks, you just continue and you push it through to get it complete. Where it's like no, I can take a break and it will be okay that I put a pause on this and if I'm interested to come back, then I can. If I have something else that needs to come, then I come. And that's really that allowing that fluidity.

Speaker 1: 12:22

Yet, neurologically and in our biology, that is a process to walk and navigate through because, visually, your body and your mind and and especially the time that was invested in something and it's like, oh, is it gonna fall and crumble and dust and I'm gonna have to put even more all these different narratives.

Speaker 1: 12:44

Yet I'm thankful that you are honoring yourself and honoring the capacity of what you have as energy right now and really, you know, taking the time I don't know if it's come to your mind of you know, my mental state, for my daughter is really important in my emotional being, like she's a small nervous system that's feeling off of my energy and all these confusions and everything else, like she's reading all this. So if I need to make it clear for myself, like if I want to teach her beyond what I've known, I really have to practice of this pause and doing something differently. No, biologically it's, it's threatening, yet I'm changing and rewiring it for her so that I have the lived experience and I can present it like yeah, this wasn't an easy choice, yet this is right choice I made for myself and what I navigated through.

Speaker 1: 13:37

Yeah, no, that's very true.

Speaker 2: 13:39

That's very true. That's very true. I noticed that too, and it's like, yeah, it's just a, it's a whole new world. You know, it's nothing I've ever experienced and as much as I thought I might know you know what I mean it's like nothing to do, what it is and, um, you know anyone that's that is a mother or husband is like like. It's like you know anyone that's that is a mother or husband is like like. It's like exactly, you know, but like anyone else is just like doesn't get it. And yeah, it's just a whole new, whole new thing. And I it's.

Speaker 2: 14:13

For me it's like incredibly hard too, I think, because I value so strongly my personal integrity and my word and who I am and how I stand up for things, and so it's like it's even more challenging to have to be like I can't do that, or like I find myself being like committing to something and then it comes and it's like I really don't want to do that, I don't have the mental space and really fighting that because I've for for like all of my life. It's like I'm, I stand in that place of like if I commit to something, I do it. I'm not like, oh, I'll just cancel, you know, or oh I'll be late, or oh I won't show up, or, and so that's challenging, you know to cause. I think you know I'm I'm rediscovering integrity in a lot of ways of like it's still an integrity to cancel and say you can't do something.

Speaker 1: 15:05

You know that is being an integrity of owning like where you're at and saying like I can't and I think that's new territory for me Boundaries for yourself, that not worrying about what other people and not wanting to inconvenience and the image that you're up.

Speaker 1: 15:22

It's like well, what about, amanda? Like things can change, what the answer that you gave right now by afternoon, your energy could change and that answer could change. And does that mean your integrity isn't there? It's like, no, I'm honoring my life force and my energy and what life experiences.

Speaker 1: 15:41

And I think you know that redefinition of integrity, because I think a lot of us have been grounded to have it on the outside of us rather than have integrity for ourselves. Because, energetically, how you show up in every interaction, that matters more than whatever the action and the image that you show up, and we haven't been really, you know, taught to clue into that. So there's a lot of times we may show up somewhere and it's like, yeah, yeah, I'm here, but energetically inside you're beating yourself up and you know, and that you know imprints to other people and the charges go out. So you know it goes on you that you're re giving new definitions and expanding what it was at one time. For being on the outside where it's like, no, internally is important. This integrity towards myself is important.

Speaker 2: 16:35

Yeah and not yeah, not beating myself up for that, because to me that's that was seen, I think, as failure. You know it's like okay, like I'm not committing to my that's, that was seen, I think, as failure. You know it's like okay, like I'm not committing to my word of what I said I would do and and honoring me.

Speaker 1: 16:50

Like you said, there can be shifts and changes and, um, it's part of life, you know yeah, and before know it was only you that, and, like you know, and your spouse or partners when you've been in relationships previous to this, that, yeah, there's a little bit of consideration. Yet before it was just Amanda. Now that you're child in tow, it's like this little human being will have sicknesses, illnesses, emotional meltdowns, that all of a sudden she needs me. So this integrity that I presented, now I have to. My priority is this, and then that impacts. Yet what I think we don't take into consideration is the character that we're building with people and giving permission to other people to prioritize the things that are really important, rather than always be on the outside and having the priority for other people. It's like really what's important in my own personal life and not, you know, sacrificing those that are close to me for the better good for all the masses. Yeah, so that's yeah.

Speaker 2: 18:05

I know it's an interesting thing because it's like I do believe, like our word is meaningful you know, and how we show up is matters in the world, you know, and so much around you know just being having your yes be yes, you know, and your no be no.

Speaker 2: 18:22

And I also and you know, I'm learning like that can be done in a way that you know shifts and changes based on what you have going on in your life, and it can still be an integrity, you know, to be honest with someone and show up and say, like you know what I, this is really what's happening and I don't have the space to be doing it. You know, and and that's, I think, an integrity, versus ignoring someone or just like flat out, like disappearing right or doing things where it's like you're not necessarily like owning it, you're more just like escaping out the side door, and that's like it's different. It's different and I think that it's just a different way for me of realizing that I can still be in that space. And it will look different because I'll have to maybe do cancel last minute or say things, but I'm still going to be honest in my why of what's really happening, why I'm doing it, not just like, oh sorry, like can't do it.

Speaker 1: 19:28

We got further ahead. Is it okay if I use some of this, like use this in the podcast? I record right when a guest comes in because there may be some jokes or something that opens it up. Yeah, we just dove really deeply so I was like, okay, let me go and then ask you because, as I always say to my guests, my first thing is safety and healing. So at times people feel really safe in my presence to discuss and, like you said, like yeah, I'm okay to discuss, but there's some things I still want to stay personal, so I always give the space of letting them know. You know, if there's something that we discussed and it was for us, but you don't want it on the podcast, let me know Because, like I said, healing and safety is my number one. Yeah, and the openness that I provide that people start talking and they forget that they recorded and everything.

Speaker 1: 20:21

So I just want to create that safety so that if there's something that needs to be released, you can and not have the worry that, oh my gosh, it's going to be out there, because my integrity is on the safety and healing and these sacred spaces for each other. Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there. We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself. Welcome to the Lift when Self podcast. Amanda, I am so thankful you're here and we already started the conversation in a deep dive, so I can imagine where else we're going to go and how playful the conversation is going to be.

Speaker 2: 21:31

Yes, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to join you today.

Speaker 1: 21:36

Can we get into a guided meditation so we can ground ourselves in our breath, so we can possibly go even a little more deeper into the dialogue? And for the listeners as you always hear me spiel, please don't close your eyes if you are driving or needing your visual. I want you to be safe and everybody around you to be safe, and the prompts that I'm going to guide myself and Amanda in you're able to do. Yet if you're feeling too much relaxation, again safety, go over and skip to the conversation. Yet when you have time, come back to the meditation so that you can take a mindful moment for yourself. So, amanda, I'll ask you to get comfortable in your seating and you're going to gently close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose and you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose.

Speaker 1: 22:43

You're not going to try and control your breath, just keeping your awareness on watching the breath go in and out, feeling it come into your nostrils, down into your lungs. There may be some sensations or feelings coming up in the body. It's fine, don't push it away. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go. Surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be, be with your breath, drop into your body, keeping your awareness on watching the breath go in and out. There may be some thoughts or memories coming up, and it's fine, don't push them away. Gently, bring your awareness back to your breath, keeping your awareness on your breath and dropping deeper into the body.

Speaker 1: 24:27

Now, while staying with your breath, amanda, I'm going to ask in your mind to create an intention you want for this conversation, for the listeners. You want for this conversation for the listeners. And when you've created that intention, I'll ask you to release it in your mind, allowing it to drop down into your nervous system, down your neck, through your throat, down your chest, filling your heart, filling your lungs, going down into your abdomen, down into your stomach, into your life force, and still staying connected with your breath. And dropping deeper into your body, allowing that intention to surround your energy field, staying with your breath, continuing staying with your breath at your own time and at your own pace. You're going to gently open your eyes while still staying with your breath. How's your heart doing?

Speaker 1: 26:30

Open and tender can you let the listeners know who amanda is?

Speaker 2: 26:46

I love that question because it goes so much more than you know the the first place I wanted to go to as what I do, but instead, when sitting with it, you know, and thinking about it, you say who, who Amanda is.

Speaker 2: 27:07

And I'm someone that lives very much from my heart and and have, I feel like, been in this space for most of my life, where I've tried to not lead from the heart, because the head and the analytical piece is what felt like I belonged in society to go with, and so it was a pursuit of sort of closing my heart to the things that I loved or the people I loved or the experiences I loved, for fear that they wouldn't fit into the mold of what I should be doing with my life or where I should be going.

Speaker 2: 27:54

And I don't think I really understood that, you know, until until like my mid thirties, when I, you know, started to do some serious investigation into myself and to to my beliefs and what I gave meaning to in the world and how I was validating myself, how I was seeing myself as worthy, what my patterns were, that I realized how big my heart was and how much I felt and how much, you know, my sensitivity mattered and you know my emotions mattered and how I showed up mattered and that that was more important to me than fitting into this space of what I was doing or trying to prove to others of what I was doing and my quote unquote career, the money I made you know what it looked like to other people.

Speaker 2: 28:59

You know what it looked like to other people and that created space to really move my life in a different direction, I would say, in the last six years that have opened me into now this journey of you know, meeting my life partner who I feel like I wouldn't have allowed my heart to open to, based on outer things that I would have put in a box and been like, no, you're not fitting this.

Speaker 2: 29:22

You're not fitting that this doesn't work, even though it feels right and all the things. I wouldn't have allowed myself to move to Hawaii and to live here. I wouldn't have allowed myself to now become a mother and have a daughter, live here. I wouldn't have allowed myself to now become a mother and have a daughter. So there's so much that has come from really staying that path of keeping my heart open, and so I think of that as like who am I, as someone that now is able to keep my heart open, even though it can be painful, and look at that as a gift rather than something that I should hide from and fit into a box?

Speaker 1: 30:09

I feel the tenderness and I feel the warrior work and you explained it so well of the work to keep our heart open when there is pain and there's fear and the uncertainty and the unknown and it goes against, you know, some of the conditioning. Thatiscovery and really self-realization is trusting myself when the world has told me so often that I didn't know, and not to trust myself that the joys and the curiosity that I wanted to go into would be harmful because it doesn't fit the box of what the world says is safe. How have you been tender with yourself when those prickly moments or fearful moments have come up?

Speaker 2: 31:10

Yeah, I mean, that's what you said was so beautiful and so true for me too. It's like true for me too. It's like it's being tender with myself, it's it's just taking time. I think it's been really critical for me, um, like really feeling my feelings and we talked about this earlier when we first hopped on, but you know, really being okay with feeling what I'm feeling, um, I think that that's been a big piece for me.

Speaker 2: 31:37

And when I say the sensitivity, I think you know I've always felt like people have classified me as sensitive, especially my family, like you're so sensitive, you're so emotional, and it's like okay. Well, then I look at the astrology and it's like, oh, I'm a Pisces, maybe that's why I'm so sensitive and so watery, and that's a whole nother conversation. But you know, like just just dropping that, because it's like people like to classify you in that. And then I had people classifying me as like well, this is your sign, this is who you are, and and it's like feeling my feelings, um with myself, like knowing, like it's like okay to feel the range and um, and being really, really honest with myself, like it's like okay to feel the range and um, and being really, really honest with myself, like it's okay and it doesn't. You know, I don't have to put anything else on it, I don't have to put a label on it, like this means this, like if I'm this, then I'm this.

Speaker 2: 32:32

Um, so trying to just be in that space of feeling, feeling like without labels, without attachments to things. Be in that space of feeling, feeling like without labels, without attachments to things, and and taking space when I can for myself, giving myself permission to say like I need to be alone or I need to do this for me and that can be hard because there's a guilt associated with that. A lot of the time, too, when I'm feeling like I want to pull back and be alone and be in that space, that's really, really tender. That doesn't involve anyone else, because I feel like there's this level of ourselves that is our own. You know, no matter who's in our life and the intimacy of relationships we always have ourself, and it's that that, to me, is really important to always have that like deeper piece of myself that no one else can can necessarily have in the same way.

Speaker 1: 33:32

That profound intimacy, because, to try to explain it to somebody else, they wouldn't understand the experience and the multitude of what you're thinking, feeling and experiencing. We mentioned at the beginning, too, where, right now, you have made a choice to pivot and to put more of your energy into the parenting, rather than serving the community and females, which you have been doing. Can you let us know what this is looking like for you and actually what the service is that you offer to females with finances?

Speaker 2: 34:14

Yes, thank you for. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah, it's interesting, you know, it's a it's a big shift and it's something that I've had to, and I mentioned this to you. You know, my daughter is a little over four months old, so I think I've spent some of this, some of this time, in that space of of one foot in, one foot out, like I want to focus on my business, I want to do these things. Let me keep doing it in the capacity that I can, and let me show up to her and be present and, um, you know, I really want to focus on being a mother and being in that space and and finding myself very stressed in the sense of like not being able to commit to both fully, uh, feeling like I'm, you know, half doing one, half doing the other, and putting this internal pressure on myself. And so, um, you know, in taking the time to, to sit with it and to to really get get honest with myself, cause I think for this, some of this time it's, I'm not honest with myself, I'm sort of, you know, overlooking it a little bit and getting angry and letting my emotions sort of rule and being like, well, I have to do this and instead of just being honest and being like you know what I actually feel like, I want to show up as a mother. That's something that I've wanted for a long time and you know, I'm in this space and I want to be there and I want to be present and I want to show up fully and not have to feel like I'm sacrificing certain things and so to choose. That also feels like a loss, in some ways, of my business and what I've created and, um, and that's hard. It's hard to like hold the two together in a space that feels feels good. And I think I'm still like trying to navigate what that you know what that means and it's coming more and more to feel like letting my business be on a pause, um, for some time and, um, and that's okay, being okay with that because it's a choice I'm making and the work that I do in my business with people to help them on the path of really obtaining balance within their finances and feeling that space of integrity within their finances and just knowing what financial success looks like and feels like to them. So it's interesting too, because I'm in the space of doing the work myself ongoing and I say that to my clients when I work with them, it's like it's not one and done. You know, I mean we've talked about this too. There's no arrival to it.

Speaker 2: 36:56

It's a practice, because life changes, and I'm in one of those life changes right now myself, where I'm having to look at myself and say like, okay, maybe I'm not making any money right now because I'm putting a pause on my business, and that doesn't mean I'm not worthy. It doesn't mean I'm not successful. It doesn't mean I don't have purpose because I'm choosing something different. Not successful. It doesn't mean I don't have purpose because I'm choosing something different and because I've done the work financially and put myself in a position I also don't feel stressed because I don't have to, and that's a beautiful thing too. And so it's something that I think we can have power with, and that's what I try to bring back to people is that when you are really honest and know what's going on, you can make choices that feel good and take away the guilt and the shame of oh, but I should be doing this or I'm not doing enough, or I need more, because sometimes we just, you know, it'll just be a game that we'll play over and over again.

Speaker 1: 38:00

Yeah, I look forward to what is going to be birthed in this space, because it's a bit of a you know the seasons where we have to plant new seeds. There's not really any movement or momentum going on, so we feel like nothing is growing, nothing is shifting, nothing is doing and it's you know, the cocoon at times. If we want transformation and growth, we have to be in that cocoon and there's grief in that. There's excitement also of what there is and what I. What was prevalent for me is you're allowing yourself to receive, which has been very challenging for you to do for yourself.

Speaker 2: 38:44

Yes, a hundred percent, and it's. It's so fascinating because it's I've talked about that too, you know, and in my podcast in with clients, and it's a practice, you know, and and I humbly say I'm in it as well, you know, and I admit that as I work with people I think that's part of you know with the work that I do, I'm I'm very honest with people. That it's, you know, I don't have it figured out, like I'm not here to say like, oh yeah, I figured everything out. There is to know about this, and I'm, you know, I still have to practice receiving, you know, and I don't think sometimes we realize it until we're in it. You know, in in it to a degree where it's a necessity to receive and to to be okay with that, um, and I am in that place.

Speaker 2: 39:34

You know where I'm. You know, having to really practice it over and over again to to say, is it being okay with that? You know, if someone may be taking care of me right now financially, um, and not having shame around it, not having guilt around it, not feeling like I need to, you know, be doing more just because I need to be doing more, because that's not healthy either and just being honest with my circumstances and some of it is personal and some of it doesn't need to be told to everyone in every detail. To not have judgment for where I'm at, I think is the most important that I sit with, because that's where the tension can come from within me. It's like the judgment I put on myself and the potential judgment that I'm feeling like oh, what are people thinking of me when I don't really even know and it and it doesn't really play a factor.

Speaker 1: 40:38

Yeah, for me, how, um, I can describe what you're going through is that masculine and feminine energy, because masculine is a lot of doing and going out there and you know the female is in the receiving and the sensitivity.

Speaker 1: 40:58

Yet when you've been in your masculine for so long to build and grow, to surrender into that gentle feminine of receiving and being nurtured and being in that space, it feels very threatening. And it is the work to really profoundly allow the two to be harmonious, not choosing one over the other, and we tend to go from one end of the spectrum to the other. Yet I think in parenting that's where we can learn to blend the two and really allow those two energies to have synergy. Yet it is work to be able to allow those two to mingle with each other, and it sounds like that's what you're in the process of doing right now. So that's why I'm looking forward to, like in a year's time, when I have you back on the podcast, to hear all the discoveries and the space, the amount of space you'll be able to hold for others because you're taking care of yourself, and what is needed in your purpose right now and what is in your path of life right now.

Speaker 2: 42:08

Yeah, I appreciate that. And going back to one thing you said, which is interesting, like in this space of like, sitting right in the cocoon, as you had mentioned, it's so challenging to not distract right, to not leap to things as a point of like, ah, but I should, I could just do this one little thing, right, like, ah, let me just, let me just do it, like, let me just try this, or let me go and and I find myself, you know, in that space. And so I just want to say that, because I don't think I'm alone at that, you know, not, not just motherhood, whatever, it's not just motherhood, it's anything that you're doing. You know, when you're in that space of just like the, the waiting, what it feels like the waiting, um, because that space is so incredibly challenging, it's the desire to want to fill it with something that, ultimately, is really a distraction. It isn't, you know, something that needs to happen?

Speaker 1: 43:10

Yeah, it's the world really lures us into a lot of destruction and having faith. That is something where people like to throw it very easily. And then I'm like, let me hear your lived experience to see if you really understand, you know, the crux of faith and how it really means to surrender and how your biology, you know, gets ramped up and it's pulling you like really literally, like you feel the tugs and pulls in you of like just do that, do that, and it's like no, be in the cocoon. This is what is needed and you're safe in that because it's the safety aspect. We don't feel safe in that, that space of stillness and growing. I'm mindful of time and uh. So I want to bring you into a reflective question. I want to ask you to bring your awareness right now and to go back to your 18-year-old self. And you have three words to tell your 18-year-old self to carry you to the journey to right now. What would those words be?

Speaker 2: 44:22

trust in the process. That would be the first one, like really trust in the process, and the next one would be to keep your heart open. Keep your heart open, keep your heart open through, through everything. Don't, don't close down um. And the third thing would be to to take the big risks and to to do it, um, unapologetically, from a space of of just knowing that, that you're going to figure it out, that you're going to land so I know that the listeners now are probably curious of where can they find Amanda.

Speaker 1: 45:30

So I was, you know, gracious and and, um, I was honored to be on your podcast and we got into a deep dive onto your podcast. So, and I understand that you're pivoting and putting a pause, yet if you can let the listeners know exactly where to find you, and as I speak to the listeners, as you hear, she's a new mom, so give some grace of when messages are returned and her integrity is there. Yet, as anybody that has their life shift with a child, be patient. Yet you want to be in Amanda's force field. So if there was any nudges or anything, follow through and message her. So, if you can, let the listeners know where to find you, amanda, thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 46:16

Yeah, yes, the podcast that I've done I mean, I have seven seasons under there at Untapped Power so you can check that out on Apple and Spotify and um, there's over a hundred episodes and the one with you, natalie, is beautiful, so I encourage people to look at that.

Speaker 2: 46:35

Um, but, yeah, I there are resources is what really is a countless resources conversations with people, episodes I've done solo, and then also my website, amandastronicom. Um is a great resource and that will be there and you can message me through the website. I have free resources on the website financial resources for people, so I think that those two are really the best way to get information and I have a lot of it's a lot of free support and then also, if you want to connect, reach out that way and, yeah, as things shift and change, that will still be there. I'm taking a slight pause from the social media realms for my own mental health, so I will say that that I'm not currently that active on those channels. So it would be like my website or visiting the podcast and checking that out.

Speaker 1: 47:29

Yeah, so for the listeners it will all be in the show notes, especially the link to the podcast. Amanda's voice is so soothing and she really you know, and she really you know brings her own introspection and questioning to present it to the listeners to ask themselves, and profoundly, really you know taking a pause and really question yourself, and there's some really deep content that she shares with the listeners. So I highly recommend taking a listen to her podcast. I have benefited very profoundly from these intimate conversations, especially her solo conversations. They have so much depth and intimacy that you feel safe to even go within yourself and ask the questions. So thank you for you know bringing that forth into the world and for others to hold that space for themselves, amanda, it's greatly appreciated.

Speaker 2: 48:34

Yeah, thank you for having me. I I have really, really loved connecting with you and our conversations and I just feel such a powerful force you know in in in just being in your presence and I know the listeners I mean that's why people are here listening to you, so it's a gift. I said that before and receive that too from people you know in in listening to your episode on my podcast, like you know, just wow, that was interesting. I really felt you know something from that and I and I love that because it's like the wheels are turning, which is wonderful.

Speaker 1: 49:14

Yeah, is there anything that you'd like to leave the listeners?

Speaker 2: 49:21

No, I think I feel complete. I just want to say thank you for listening and for just being open to the conversation and to any shifts that you might be having, you know, as far as owning it and being in integrity and to share it and to be honest, because that's really the place that we can all grow from.

Speaker 1: 49:51

I want to thank you. As always, it's a delight to connect with you. It's always, you know, soothing to the soul and our body when we can be open and have, you know, naked truth conversations, that we don't have to robe ourselves and we can be curious without somebody telling us what it has to be, just allowing ourselves to release so that we can see ourselves in a different way. So I thank you, amanda, for this deep dive and I look forward to having you back to hear the delights and the experiences. And you know what else has grown and what else has been birthed and what I wanted to mention previously.

Speaker 1: 50:33

You know, and what other people may recognize, when you have your own business, that's a baby in itself also, and to not nurture it feels like a sense of abandonment and a sense of rejection. So that grief is a real thing because you know you've put so much time and attention into that. Yet I know that baby is self-sustaining and I know, from this space and this commitment that you are choosing yourself, there's so much that's going to grow from it and the space that you're going to be able to provide for others is going to be, you know, tenfold over. So I'm looking forward to this. Thank you, yeah, thank you so much. I appreciate it. Please remember to be kind to yourself.

Speaker 2: 51:17

Thank you, you too.

Speaker 1: 51:20

Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, Come into a discovery call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle.