Navigating Modern Emotions with Practical Strategies

Can just a few moments of meditation truly change your life? In our latest episode, we explore the transformative power of meditation and self-care in personal growth and healing. We begin with a grounding meditation to set intentions, highlighting the importance of embodying the practices we discuss. Discover how even brief, consistent meditative practices can help you reconnect with your body and initiate meaningful personal change, despite the discomfort some may feel. We firmly believe that true global change starts with each individual's efforts, and we share insights on how to make a significant impact through small, consistent practices.

Joining us is Sarah Webb, a passionate lesbian heartbreak resilience coach on a mission to teach meditation to 28 million people, starting within the queer community. Sarah opens up about her unique approach, combining meditation, breath work, and journaling to help people heal from heartbreak, which she views as a symptom of deeper childhood conditioning and trauma. We'll explore the transformative power of pain as a catalyst for growth and healing, and Sarah will share her perspective on viewing life's challenges objectively to build resilience and strength. Her story and mission offer a powerful reminder of the importance of self-care and personal transformation.

Finally, we delve into the complexities of emotions like anger, rage, and fear, and how modern stimuli impact our nervous systems. Learn practical strategies for acknowledging and processing these emotions, from physical and somatic release methods like dancing and yelling into a pillow to visiting smash rooms. Personal experiences and techniques such as oral journaling and crying are also shared, emphasizing the importance of expressing our authentic emotions. By embracing these expressive outlets, we can prevent the buildup of unexpressed feelings and foster a healthier emotional landscape. Tune in for valuable tools and personal stories that help break mental health stigmas and support growth and self-awareness.

Find out more about Sarah Webb here:
https://www.sarawebbsays.com/

Chapters

• 0:00 Self-Care and Meditation Podcast Discussion
• 2:20 Healing Through Meditation and Resilience
• 15:19 Embracing Emotions and Finding Balance
• 23:45 Expressing Emotions Through Physical Release

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I am so open.

Speaker 2: 0:01

That sounds great. Any questions for me. So I'm going to, I'm so excited that we're going to meditate together Like, wow, I guess I don't. So I always listen whenever I first, you know, tell somebody that I'm interested, or or agree, or however. This happened I guess it was pod match. That's the only thing I'm on. However, this happened I guess it was pod match, that's the only thing I'm on and, um, like, get a feel and check out the socials, but I, I didn't do my due diligence. I've been, you know, it's just been crazy. I'm like, but I did look on your social media this morning and I was like, oh yeah, I remember how, how lovely she is. So, um, I did not remember that about your podcast shows, that's so cool. I am excited about this.

Speaker 1: 0:45

Yeah, I started implementing it because it's like we have the talk, yet everybody's telling you to do something, rather than like let's do it all together. So I want to be one that walks the walk, not just talking about what there is. It's really inviting people into doing that shift so that we can create that change, because we want change in the world, but we're always like they need to, when they need to and it's like, well, the only change in the world is yourself, so you have to show up with that change. So I'm really just demonstrating that in every possible way, and I know sometimes it's uncomfortable for myself because I know some people aren't into meditation or it's threatening to them and it's uncomfortable. Yet I understand the medicine. That's in that if you start to engage little by little, even if it's a second, two seconds, three seconds of really engaging, to come back into your body of really engaging, to come back into your body.

Speaker 3: 1:45

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, Nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there. We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself.

Speaker 1: 2:20

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast. Sarah. I am so pleasantly enjoyably thankful you're here in our little bit of a frazzle together this morning. Yet welcome to the podcast.

Speaker 2: 2:35

Thank you so much.

Speaker 1: 2:37

Will you join me in a meditation so that we can ground ourselves in our breath?

Speaker 2: 2:43

That sounds delicious.

Speaker 1: 2:44

And for the listeners, as you always hear me say, if you're doing anything that requires your visual, keep your eyes open. I want you to be safe as well as everybody else. Yet the other prompts you're able to follow. However, caution if you're getting too relaxed, then skip over to the conversation. Yet you can come back to do the meditation when you're in a space where you can allow that relaxation and dropping into your body. It's always about safety, so always remember that. Yet you can always take time for these mindful moments to ground yourself in your breath. So, sarah, I'll ask you to get comfortable and you're going to gently close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose.

Speaker 1: 3:32

And you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose, you're not going to try and control your breath, you're just going to keep your awareness on watching your breath go in and out and become aware of its rhythm.

Speaker 3: 3:53

There may be some sensations or feelings coming up in the body. Let them come up. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go. Surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be Be your breath, drop into your body, continue staying with your breath, continue staying with your breath.

Speaker 1: 5:04

Now, sarah, in your mind, I'm going to ask you to create an intention you want to bring forth in this conversation, and for the listeners and for ourselves.

Speaker 3: 5:16

And when you've created that intention, I'm going to ask you to release it in your mind, allowing it to drop down into your nervous system, down your neck, through your throat, down into your chest, filling your heart, filling your lungs, down into your abdomen, down into your stomach, into your life force, still staying with the breath, dropping deeper into the body, allowing that intention to surround your energy field. And you're staying with your breath.

Speaker 1: 6:26

Now, at your own time and at your own pace. You're going to gently open your eyes while staying with your breath. How's your heart doing?

Speaker 2: 6:32

Heart is so open. That brought up some emotion. You know that space between crying and bliss. I sometimes get that in meditation and I was kind of on the brink of that, that expansive feeling.

Speaker 1: 6:50

Yeah, it's a beautiful feeling when I how I describe it is that our defense mechanisms of the nervous system have surrendered and you can get into that vulnerability, down into the bliss of the oneness, and so it's. And then the tears come up because I think it's, you know, you're coming back into your worth, your existence, and it can feel overwhelming of a washing of. We think it might be sadness, but really it's a gratitude of overwhelm and appreciation, and so many different emotions come up because we're multidimensional. And then, once we can go in that it's like, oh, we're home, but we forget that it's always here. It's just the defense mechanisms of being human have us traverse this worldly plane which you do, these practices to remind yourself you're part of the two.

Speaker 2: 7:48

So beautifully put.

Speaker 1: 7:51

Can you let the listeners know who Sarah is?

Speaker 2: 7:56

I'm a lesbian heartbreak resilience coach it's quite a mouthful and I'm on a mission to teach 28 million humans to meditate, starting in the queer community, and I've experienced a lot of trauma in my life and I've done a lot of healing and a lot of forgiveness and I'm really grateful for the trauma that I've experienced and that I've had the ability to learn through, grow through and help others. This heartbreak is a symptom of childhood conditioning, childhood trauma, attachment styles, because we're in a meditative state between zero and seven. So I use meditation practices, breath work, awareness journaling, a lot of other very natural practices to allow people to stop the downward spiral and learn to spin within so that they can heal heartbreak and take these practices into other areas of their lives.

Speaker 3: 9:04

Love it.

Speaker 1: 9:05

You mentioned that you're thankful for the trauma. I'm sure some of the listeners may not understand that and be like what the heck is this woman talking about? I understand the language, yet could you explain it from your point of view why you frame it that way?

Speaker 2: 9:23

Pain is love. People who are born without the ability to feel pain die very quickly. Pain is a signal, emotional pain, literal pain. It's a signal from the body letting us know a place that needs attention, a place that needs extra care. And they say smooth seas do not make for strong sailors. When we go to the gym or, you know, do a walk on the beach, it rips our muscles open so that they can repair and be stronger.

Speaker 2: 9:57

It is only through challenges that we grow. It's so interesting because after the development of the prefrontal cortex it's like we don't want to have challenges. But there's all these game shows and reality shows where they have challenges and that's where the work is. So I'm not saying that I wish what has happened for me not to me, but what's happened for me on anybody, because it's not like it's been beautiful or easy, but the release of it is easy after we learn how to relax through the body, harness the breath and look at life through a perspective and objective lens instead of the subjective lens, because everything's neutral, everything.

Speaker 2: 10:47

But our subconscious has us programmed with our core wounds, our disempowering beliefs, and we also are trying to get our needs met all the time. So our subconscious has filters, and so we're trying to see the world objectively but we literally can't. So it's that, zooming out and taking the 30,000 foot view, they've done studies where the vacations that people remember the most are the ones where they booked a beach vacation for five days and it rained every single day and they laugh about it years later. It's the one where, you know, they remember those things where the car broke down and they had to call the tow truck and it was. They were up until midnight and they laugh about it later. And so it's about that I call it grip without the grit, so that you can kind of hold things lightly and be in flow. And I'm not saying it's easy, it's definitely an iterative day-by-day practice to choose to just laugh oh, look at this problem I get to solve, instead of being frustrated and flustered and stressed out and allowing our energy to permeate into other people's fears.

Speaker 1: 12:03

Beautifully said. I'm sure you weren't always in this space. So what did it look like? What did it look like? How did you get to begin this path of healing and shifting your perception?

Speaker 2: 12:18

I used to very proudly be a realist, somebody who thought things very objectively, realistically, but I was very negative and I had a primary caregiver not my mom or my dad, but another primary caregiver who was and is a very negative person and I took on a lot of her traits. And when I was 18, I went to this amazing summer camp for a week. It's called Eagle U U in like quotations, like Eagle University, and it really taught me a lot of positive thinking, kind of like a bootcamp, self-help week for teenagers and that's when I started my journey.

Speaker 2: 13:04

But you know, reading a lot of books and yoga and starting meditation, I didn't have a regular practice for several years. It was when I started practicing regularly, at the age of 35, that everything I had been reading started to really sink in, because I was getting into that subconscious state and being able to observe my thoughts, observe my breath, observe my life and see some of these patterns that weren't serving me anymore. So it's definitely been a journey, as we all have right Exactly exactly.

Speaker 1: 13:40

So you mentioned the negativity. Do you have a definition of what that really is? The negativity in people?

Speaker 2: 13:50

Fantastic question Anything that allows our nervous system, the sympathetic aspect of our nervous system, to hijack our thoughts and take us out of this ability to utilize our prefrontal cortex, where we have logic, and go into the limbic brain, where we are in subconscious mode and we are unable to hear positive tones. We're very defensive. So I think that there's life is on a spectrum, but we see the world in contrast. Obviously there's day and night, there's this non-binary world of the computers and people want us to be female or male or gay or straight and things are on a spectrum. So the range of emotions that we can experience are like musical notes. It's not like you all of a sudden go from a negative mindset to joy. You've got to go up that David Hawkins map of consciousness you may be familiar with. But Deepak Chopra says somebody could pay me a compliment and I could choose to get offended. Somebody could try to offend me and I could choose to see it as a compliment. So it's all perspective and how it's actually affecting our nervous system.

Speaker 1: 15:17

It's how I explain it in a simple term. Our nervous system has one function don't die and it's built out of negative bias to always look for the protection. And so you know there's things in the world. There's talking about no fear and don't fear where you need healthy fear for your nervous system because if not, you wouldn't be able to survive in this world. And if you want to get back connected into your intuition, intuition is going to activate fear because curiosity is going to bring you into the unknown and uncertainty. It's learning to ride that fear.

Speaker 2: 15:53

I've never heard it put that way. Intuition activates fear because it brings you into the unknown.

Speaker 1: 15:59

And uncertainty and it's going to have you face your belief systems and some of the definitions of your core values and what you think you are, and it's going to bring you somewhere outside of that. So, of course, it's going to activate fear because the defense mechanisms are always there to protect you. Even when somebody's being negative, it's in their defense mechanisms of trying to protect and we can get very polar with it where it's like wait, do we understand the nervous system's language? And at times when people are doing their healing, myself included, there can be this berating or that I didn't honor myself or I didn't do this, rather than taking a moment to see, well, what was this pattern and what was my nervous system trying to protect me from? And most times, the basic thing is feeling our authentic emotions. We don't know how to feel our authentic emotions. We feel our secondary emotions.

Speaker 2: 17:02

We also don't know how to acknowledge fear and play with it. Mm-hmm, that's brilliant. I totally agree with you. I've learned throughout my life by trial and error that the things that I'm most averse to are the things I need to run towards. So now I just I'm like, oh, I'm scared of that, I'm going to go do it because I have resisted it. And then I finally lean into it and like this is amazing, why was I so afraid of this? So I mean, obviously you don't want to do dangerous things, but we aren't, as you know, fighting tigers or boarding off tribes, people. By and large, it's emotional stress and emotional fear that we're primarily dealing with on a day in and day out basis.

Speaker 1: 17:46

And we're being bombarded with so much of it to be in fear, so much of it to be in fear. So any kind of marketing and news outlets, even the social media, is always priming our nervous system to be hypervigilant and in fear. And when you're in fear, it can be very challenging to make decisions for yourself. So you're seeking solutions from the outside and then, as soon as somebody says, oh, we have the solution, you can cling to it because you may not have created the tools to check within yourself, to take that pause, to interrupt.

Speaker 2: 18:19

Totally agree with you. It's always nice to have a good tin wag with somebody.

Speaker 1: 18:26

Going profound. It's where I hear in the meditation circles and spirituality. It becomes this part where people aren't being able to relate to themselves and it's that nervous system piece it's really recognizing, like everything. If you're going to say everything's working for you, it's really understanding your nervous system, also in the defense mechanisms and a part where what have you created within? How have you identified yourself? What emotions have you suppressed that you are not allowing yourself to feel? And the biggest thing I'm always advocating for is befriend anger, befriend rage, befriend fear.

Speaker 2: 19:11

Totally agree with you anger befriend. Rage befriend fear. Totally agree with you Befriending it all and just letting go and being in flow and recognizing that we are safe because our nervous system and our past conditioning is trying to keep us safe. Like you say, don't die, and just befriending those. It's like I heard it described one time that emotions are like an old friend and you let them in and you ask them what their story is. And if an old friend came over and said I need help, can you listen to me? We wouldn't say, oh yeah, come on in, but let me watch some reality television first, let me drink some alcohol first, let me dissociate by scrolling first, and then I'll listen to you with your problem. These emotions are our child selves that are coming to us saying I need your help. I've been storing this in my subconscious for decades. Can you please help me?

Speaker 1: 20:12

In your personal life. How do you process anger?

Speaker 2: 20:15

That is a great question. I was actually talking to my girlfriend about that last night. I have a power technique that I've used that I teach clients and of course each letter is an acronym P-O-W-E-R, but I don't have time to explain it here. But basically I try to get behind the emotion. I really kind of go like up and above myself so that I can see myself not in the moment and get curious like look, she's getting angry, what could this be a sign of? And come at it with some curiosity and some compassion for that little baby self who because I'm sure you've heard that anger is really a secondary emotion. It's a sign of some sort of hurt, either fear or sadness, or maybe injustice. Anger can be in there because of injustice. Even fear, it's the bodyguard, right, yeah, fear or sadness? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1: 21:29

Because it goes anger, sadness, fear.

Speaker 2: 21:31

Yes, yes, well, and I think that anger is really fear. Yes, yes, well, and I think that anger is really not a primary emotion. Anger, sadness, fear and joy, they say or desire. Those are like the basic five.

Speaker 1: 21:42

But I see anger as the bodyguard, because it's a defense and you're trying to. If you haven't been able to feel that emotion, it's coming up.

Speaker 1: 21:52

Uh huh, I see what you're saying literally a body guard comes up because you haven't been able to engage with those authentic emotions like when people talk about shame and guilt being garbage and not to feel them. It's like no face them. What's underneath them? That's activating the shame. Yeah exactly, we don't face things, we don't feel them, we don't sit in the feeling of what does this actually feel like to allow our body to have expression? Do you express, do you use techniques to express, the anger?

Speaker 2: 22:28

So, very simply, I start with I am feeling blank and I always talk about myself Like I need. I try to find the core wound, what it's related to. You know, I'm feeling this boil it down to the emotion. This is a core wound of mine and this is what I need, and a lot of times I will just go straight in If I can. If it's like a text or an email, I'll just go straight into a meditative state so that I can look at those things. But if I'm in front of a person, I have an affirmation that I repeat to myself pretty often about defensiveness and how I just I don't need to defend, because that makes me a victim. It makes me more powerless and victimizes me more, and so I say we have different opinions. Or I might say give me a moment so that I don't react. Instead, I can go inside and choose to respond.

Speaker 2: 23:37

And I automatically start breathing from the belly. You know because we start breathing from the chest. That's like one of the first things.

Speaker 1: 23:45

Yeah, are there other techniques of expressing that you use with Anchor, like do you ever yell in a pillow? Do you go to smash rooms?

Speaker 2: 23:56

I have. I tend toward dancing. Yeah, clients who successfully complete my programs get a dance button, a 30 second dance button, because animals in the wild we probably already know when, when they've escaped a predator, they shake like a dog. They shake and we just need to get it out of our body in some way, and I've had before. There's a gentleman who does this create meditation and he has a screaming in the pillow section of the create meditation and I've definitely done like yelling and screaming in my car before. If I need to like, if I'm at, you know, in a, or crying cause it's a good one. Sometimes I'll do an oral journal where I just am like I'm so mad and I don't even you know, just so that I can get it out and I don't have to tell that person. But I can process it and I don't even have to call my best friend or you know like I can just process it, no matter where I am, no matter what they're doing.

Speaker 1: 25:00

Yeah, oh, I use all of those methods and um times it's walking, uh, screaming in the pillow, banging on the steering wheel, just to recognize that it's because when anger comes up, it's a very overwhelming sensation and there's a chemical dump that came in and so, and if you have grief in your body also, it gets activated with that also, and grief is a very overwhelming sensation to feel because there's a loss. So it's finding these expressions, like you said, like dancing, is a big thing that I use with my clients or anybody that's willing to listen, because there's a somatic release that the body needs to express and we tend to want to intellectualize and rationalize things, where it's like we could learn from the temper tantrums that some children are using to just release it. Yet we want it to look so much more mature where, yeah, okay, we have the ability in certain instances. Yet life is impermanent and it's always hitting you. So to not allow that body to release somatically stores these energies in your body and then they build up, and build up, and then all of a sudden they get let loose in an experience where you're like this isn't that big, why am I reacting or feeling or going through all of this and again, it's well.

Speaker 1: 26:28

Did you allow yourself to have some expression and feel it without rationalizing and intellectualizing it? Again, it's well. Did you allow yourself to have some expression and feel it without rationalizing and intellectualizing it? Yes, in the moment, like you expressed, if I'm in a business meeting or with somebody, I have to put on this mask and interact in that way.

Speaker 1: 26:45

Yet afterwards, did you take some time to check in? Is that feeling still there? Did you hear all of the messaging and the release in there? Because possibly there might be some boundary work you need to work on? You might be a little too passive with people and you got to start now putting boundary work for yourself, not for them. You're getting agitated with them when really it's yourself because you're allowing certain things to happen or you're putting yourself in spaces that don't serve you anymore. Exactly so it's important to do that process and feel out and, you know, relate to yourself Like the journey is going to be messy. Yet we would like it all polished and perfected, because that's what the world tells you to look like and it's like well, real healing. It's going to be messy and, like I say to people, the practices are simple, yet they're not easy to apply.

Speaker 2: 27:44

Yeah, that's one of my favorite lines. It's really simple. Most things that are simple are not easy.

Speaker 1: 27:49

Oh, and we like to complicate things.

Speaker 1: 27:54

Simple or not easy, oh, and we like to complicate things. The world has complicated a lot of things that are not complicated Yet you get lost in that little trail rather than what is the simple thing and to feel our emotions, if you've not ever even had that space when you were young to co-regulate with somebody. To co-regulate with yourself, you're not able to do it, so you need to find somebody that has their nervous system that's regulated to co-regulate with yourself. You're not able to do it, so you need to find somebody that has their nervous system that's regulated to co-regulate and let these emotions pass through. And if you can get into a profound meditation to start regulating your nervous system, then all that stuff starts passing through somatically and that is its own warrior work. To be in a meditation practice and letting these things just come out. And when I'm like hearing people, when they're like, oh, I shaked or I had, I was crying or different things, I'm like, oh, you had the somatic releases, because every meditation you're meeting yourself in all different ways.

Speaker 2: 28:45

Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 1: 28:48

I'm going to bring you into a reflective question. Okay, I'm going to ask you to bring your awareness right now and to go back to your 18-year-old self, and you have, yeah, you have three words to tell your 18-year-old self, to carry you to the journey to right now.

Speaker 2: 29:11

What would those three words be. That's funny. I thought about this the other day and I had a response and I know exactly what it is, but let me revisit it just to make sure that that's still it. It's the same. Start meditating now.

Speaker 1: 29:26

It's our medicine it's, it's our medicine yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:33

One of my favorite hashtags that meditation is medicine because you we've been lured on to seek on the outside. And once you understand your nervous system is looking for safety, then it's like I am the safety I am to create that in my body, I am to trust myself. That's the biggest part of the healing is coming back into trusting yourself. Because when you recognize, oh, I created some of this because I tolerated or I made some choices that put me into situations, yet it's recognizing wait, it was all in a method of protection. That's why you need radical compassion, because once you become aware of things that you have done in some of the storyline, that is heartbreaking and can bring up a whole bunch of rage and anger towards yourself. And it's like wait, context, context is missing a lot of times that we don't we're, you know, like you said, contrast black and white. Where's the context? Where's the storyline, not just the bite size? Where's the story of why these decisions were made? To better understand why the nervous system created these protections and defense mechanisms?

Speaker 2: 30:48

Yes, I love that you're doing the work and putting all this information out for people. It's like you said, it's simple, but there are so many different entry points and then there it just takes time. It's not easy to continue to do the work day in and day out. Listen, I see it with my clients. They want to heal their heartbreak but they don't realize that this is life work and I don't know.

Speaker 2: 31:19

I haven't done the numbers, but I would say about 20 to 25% don't complete an individual program or group because it gets too hard and they get scared group because it gets too hard and they get scared and people, as you know, would rather the painful familiar than the painful unfamiliar, even though there is liberation on the other side of that pain.

Speaker 1: 31:46

Yeah, you know, understanding the capacity of what you can experience can feel very threatening, especially if you felt significant pain in your life. You're like I don't want that anymore, so you're going to stay with what is familiar. Are you willing to share what your intention was at the beginning in the meditation?

Speaker 2: 32:07

I'm on a mission to heal 28 million people and I just felt that expansion, that world change, because I believe that if people would stop living in the 3D world 3D is deny, distract, associate and learn to spin within, like we're talking about that it would change everything. And so if 28 million because when one person starts doing these practices like we're talking about, it's a ripple effect for everyone in their life, and 28 is a significant number to me and it's kind of like they call it, your BHAG, your big, hairy, audacious goal Sounds crazy to try to take something like that on. And, of course, I'm very aware that I need to train coaches to do what I do and there's a long line of people who are past clients, who are ready to be clients of my training program. So I'm just listening to when and how we can do that. This is such deep, profound work that starts with a somewhat simple, but it's a really profound wound of heartbreak and heartache, which most people experience at some point in their lives in some way, and I believe that our queer hearts break harder.

Speaker 2: 33:38

I think that queer people you know, people of the LGBTQIA, rainbow alphabet community suffer disproportionately because we're either heartbroken when we're in the closet or we have to come out of the closet, and that's a heartache, heartbreak in and of itself, and it's not a one and done thing. I mean, I'm coming out of the closet all the time. I got squarely rejected by somebody at the park the other day who my daughter was playing with her daughter, and it was clear that she was threatened by me. You know, she assumed that I was dating men and said something about it and I said, well, no, I'm gay. And she literally walked away from me, stopped talking to me and just walked away, called her daughter and that's the first time that's happened to me in a long time. But these dramas that we experience, microaggressions and then as as queer women, specifically, let me just say, people that have more estrogen, whether you're non-binary or a trans woman, you know we're very inclusive in my company People who who have more estrogen are more prone to nesting than men are.

Speaker 2: 34:53

They're more seed spreaders just biologically, and so when you get two female presenting people together, there's more of a tendency for nesting, and then women make less on the dollar than men, so when the breakup happens their financial state is much more dire than to gay men. Gay women are twice as likely to get married and twice as likely to get divorced, and oftentimes they call it a U-Haul situation that women tend to like nest and move in together very quickly, and sometimes one woman ends up essentially homeless and couch surfing because she's like sold all her things and moved across the country, or sold all her things and moved in with the girlfriend or the wife. And then I mean, I know this firsthand. It pretty much happened to me.

Speaker 2: 35:45

I wasn't homeless, but it does put you in a bind. But it does put you in a bind and it's just such a stressful situation and it's a symptom of attachment styles that are formed early on in life and that we repeat because it's what we know, it's what the subconscious is doing to keep us safe. If we had a narcissistic parent, we'll attract the narcissistic partner, and be sure, I am not into finger pointing and name calling, because that leaves us powerless, and I'm all about reviving that power and finding that power within so that we can do this big work with ourselves and later on in life we can take these practices and continue the work day by day.

Speaker 1: 36:40

And I just want to hold space for that, because I'm sure many listeners hear themselves in that story and feel validated that oh wait, somebody's speaking for the depth of the vulnerability of the way that I have to walk in this earth and the criticism, the judgment, the separation.

Speaker 1: 37:02

And when you choose yourself, then there's some people that are going to disconnect from you, and a lot of times that's family members, and that is very heartbreaking and it's very disorientating that there has to be a choice Like why can I not just be myself and feel the connection and love?

Speaker 1: 37:20

And so that creates its own wound on itself and it's not in people's minds that, oh, I'm not being treated a certain way. Yeah, you are feeling it and you are experiencing it Because in a society where religion has dominated a lot about heterosexual and how love is supposed to present in humans that hits a belief system and if you hit somebody's belief system, the pitbull comes out and until they dismantle that belief system, they don't even realize the fear and the hatred that they're projecting because they believe it's in a method of protection. So I just am thankful that you created that and shared some of your own experience so that the listener listening that is feeling that heartbreak, can feel that they aren't alone. So now I know that listener is like okay, so where can I find Sarah? Could you let them know where they can find you?

Speaker 2: 38:20

Absolutely, I'm everywhere at Sarah Web says S-A-R-A-W-E-B-B-S-A-Y-S, so that's Sarah with no H, web with two Bs and, like the present tense of said but says dot com, and on youtube and on instagram and I have a linkedin and all this. I also run a, an online community for those people who are interested women and non-binary humans I run run a community called Queer Hearts Break Harder. As of today, there are about 2000 people in it. It's a private Facebook group and we do free Zooms on Fridays, well as of the recording of this show. We're doing free Zooms on Fridays because a lot of people who are heartbroken need some community on Friday nights and I teach a lot of the concepts that we've covered today at a high level, like stress management and self-care and subconscious reprogramming and releasing childhood trauma, things like that.

Speaker 2: 39:25

And then you know I I run group programs. I also coach one-on-one and starting a podcast in probably another year I'm interviewing and I want to have all the episodes kind of sum up, tied together before I release it. So lots of opportunities to get in the system of healing our queer family from the inside out, right. That's where it begins. It's on the inside Beautiful.

Speaker 1: 39:58

Is there something that you want to leave the listeners Pay?

Speaker 2: 40:00

attention to your breath. It's our life force, energy. We can survive for weeks without food, days without water, but only a few minutes without our breath. And it's a really good barometer for your emotional state, and it's also a tool that we can use to change our emotional state. Breathwork shifts energy. It moves energy when leveraged correctly.

Speaker 1: 40:26

Thank you so much, sarah. This has been a delight. I appreciate when I can do a deep dive. And you know, share experiences, share different modalities and experiences, and I want to thank you for doing the alchemy of taking those impurities and turning them into gold and not just only keeping it for yourself. You're sharing it out in the world. So thank you so much for the work and the light that you're bringing out in the world. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 40:54

This is a mirror moment. I see so much synergy here and I am so grateful for this opportunity for this conversation, even if it weren't public. This has filled my soul today. I'm super grateful for the work that you're doing on this plane. Thank you so much, beautiful soul.

Speaker 1: 41:12

Thank you. Remember to be kind to yourself. Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, come into a discovery, call LiftOneSelfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.