Embracing Vulnerability: Transforming Parenting and Personal Growth

Can embracing vulnerability transform your life and parenting? This week, we welcome the insightful Marcus Aurelius Higgs, a seasoned educator and transformational coach, who takes us on a journey through his multicultural experiences in teaching and the profound lessons in human development and communication he has gathered along the way. From his time at Oakwood University to his ventures in South Korea, Saudi Arabia, Spain, and Thailand, Marcus delves into the importance of understanding human growth and fostering effective communication between children and parents. We even pause for a grounding meditation exercise, reminding us of the power of mindfulness in our everyday lives.

Navigating through the intricate realms of spirituality, identity, and cancel culture, Marcus offers a wealth of wisdom on how young people transition from dependence to independence, tackling issues like emotional management and collaborative mistrust. We discuss the significance of reconnecting with our true selves to heal from past traumas and the pivotal role of respecting diverse perspectives. Marcus's "Show Up" framework emerges as a vital tool for parents and individuals to build strong identities and cultures within their homes, advocating for vulnerability, accountability, and creativity.

As we wrap up, we explore the evolving role of technology in our lives, comparing social media's impact to historical innovations and its potential to either isolate or connect us. Marcus encourages us to be intentional with our online presence, promoting introspective and healing content amidst the fear-driven narratives. We close with a reflective exercise, prompting listeners to embrace unstructured play and consider the advice they'd give their younger selves. This episode is a rich tapestry of insights aimed at fostering a happier, more fulfilled life through conscious connection and personal growth.

Connect with Marcus Aurelius Higgs here:
https://marcushiggs.com/

Chapters

• 0:02 The Inner Child and Conscious Parenting
• 15:29 Navigating Identity and Spiritual Connection
• 23:13 Navigating Truth and Cancel Culture
• 31:32 Navigating Social Media and Conscious Connection
• 41:46 Embracing Vulnerability and Cultivating Love
• 46:59 Cultivating Playful Self-Directed Joy

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast. I'm Nat Nat and I am here with Marcus and I would appreciate, marcus, if you can let the listeners know a little bit about yourself while letting me know a little bit about yourself. I know, before we started recording, we were really engaging in some in-depth conversation, so I know that this conversation is going to be playful and, you know, deep, and I know the listeners are going to get a lot of wisdom and also some tools. And being a parent, as you know, you just saw a bit in my background of what I have to go through with the twins, a bit in my background of what I have to go through with the twins, you know it's we tend to want to be performative, yet when we can be real with people and really see the data is in and day out, it makes it much more a better space, a safer space for us to grow. So if you can let the listeners know a little bit about yourself and let myself know a little bit about you, it's wonderful to be here, nat.

Speaker 2: 1:08

Nat, so nice, you say it twice. Two things I want to touch on right before you go there. I love how you said play, because play is self-directed joy, right, yeah, and we don't give ourselves enough places to play as adults. Just have some joy and let it be self-directed. And the second thing was I forgot but we'll get back to it I am Marcus Aurelius Higgs. That is my birth name, my mother's from the Philippines and my father is from the Bahamas, and the reason I bring that up is because I deal with families where there's multicultural bridges. Let's say I deal with a lot of different families.

Speaker 2: 1:50

I studied communication at Oakwood University in Huntsville, alabama. I was born in California and I grew up in the Bahamas and again, that comes into the multicultural part of that of what I do, multicultural part of that of what I do. Straight away from graduating I went to South Korea where I served as an English missionary teacher and the reason I'm bringing up spirituality is because that's a big part of a sincere part of my life and I say my understanding of the divine grew while I was there and I came out of the mission field but continued teaching because I love people and I don't love your children as much as you do. So that informs why I do the work I do. I was in the classroom as an English language arts teacher in grade 12, grade 9, and then for fraternity leave for a friend I I did some grade five work and these are the conversations I would have inside the classroom Understanding human development.

Speaker 2: 2:50

I remember I came out of class one time in grade 12 and I told my chairperson this feels like therapy sometimes, right, and he said, marcus, that's why it's called the humanities. We're teaching them how to be human, and that's so true. With communication, with my international travel I taught in Saudi Arabia, in Spain, in Thailand and in South Korea notice of overlapping and what happens in human development, and what I do is transformational coaching with the parent. I work with the parent for the thing that's most relevant to them, which is their child, and that's that's. That's what I do. We can get into it deeper as to why this age and, um, why I necessarily do, but that's a, that's a basic overview.

Speaker 1: 3:45

Okay, I have a lot of drift-offs that I want to go with that. First, would you be in meditation so that we can ground ourselves in our breath and meet each other in this moment, so that we can continue on? Yes, if I might lead or do you want to leave? I can leave, that's what.

Speaker 2: 4:09

I heard Okay, I'll follow your lead.

Speaker 1: 4:14

Okay, okay, and as a listener is always here, safety first. Most people listen to a podcast while they're driving, so please do not close your eyes when I give the prompt. Yet the other ones you're able to do with whatever you're doing at the moment. So, marcus, I'll ask you to get comfortable and you're going to gently close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose and you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose. You're not going to try and control your breath. You're just going to let the awareness watch the rhythm of your breath, allowing you to come into your body. There may be some feelings or sensations coming up. It's okay, let them come up. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go, surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be, be with your breath, drop into your body by now.

Speaker 1: 5:33

There may be some thoughts or memories that have popped up. It's okay. Gently bring your awareness back to your breath, creating space between the awareness and the thoughts. Just continue watching the breath go in and exhale out again. There may be some thoughts or to-do lists that have popped up. It's okay, bring that awareness back to your breath, dropping deeper into your body, creating that space between the awareness and the thoughts. Now, while still staying with your breath, at your own time and at your own pace, you're going to gently open your eyes, while staying with the breath. How's your heart doing?

Speaker 2: 6:44

my heart is full, my heart is well, yeah.

Speaker 1: 6:49

So I started implementing these meditations in my podcast about a year ago. I wanted to model the things that I know are beneficial, and I think a lot of people have the wrong definition of meditation. They think it's supposed to stop your mind and be quiet and not have any more thoughts and it's like nope, that's not what meditation does. It's that you won't be identified with those thoughts and I think also, too, you know when we're saying something to do it, it's like, well, why don't we join it? Why don't we implement it in the everyday? Rather than telling people, this is what you should do, let's actually incorporate it in our ways of communicating and being amongst each other.

Speaker 1: 7:35

There's an in-depth of spirituality when you go into meditation, and in the silence and the stillness there's so much that's communicated that our language can't even access.

Speaker 1: 7:47

So before we got into the meditation, you gave us your beautiful description and you are rich, you are wealthy in experiences and, oh my gosh, anybody that gets to be around you. They have no idea of what you get to impart with them, to teach in so many different cultures. It's a lot, because you have to adapt and adjust in so many different ways of how do we meet these individuals and how do we create that education and that awareness you mentioned about? You work with parents and whatever the thing is with the child and I heard child yet I wonder sometimes if they recognize the inner child that they have. And do you work in that way that sometimes, yes, I'm going to play with the human that they see in front of them, yet also they actually have to see the little child that's inside them. That may be, you know, distorting their perception of things and not being able to relate with their child because they have their inner stuff that's blocking things.

Speaker 2: 9:01

Yeah, that's a beautiful question. We are the stories we tell ourselves. So there has to be that understanding of your history, so to say. And one nuance where I look at, let's use the word trauma. It can be a loaded word, but for me what trauma means is the stresses of the past that you've not processed in the present. So it's some blockage in the present moment because of something that happened in the past that you've not processed in the present. So it's some blockage in the present moment because of something that happened in the past that you've not processed. And one other point worth making is it's never the thing, it's our relation to the thing, and we explore that.

Speaker 2: 9:41

I really do believe this comes from the conscious parenting movement that kids are given to us that we might understand ourselves, and from the Delphi it's know thyself and you'll understand the secrets of gods and men. We are trying to bring forth the greatness. That's what the etymology of parenting and education means. The root of the word means to bring forth, and in bringing that forth that is effortful. There's a study that says parents are less happy than single people Well, hold on, hold on, I'm not finished. And they live more meaningful lives.

Speaker 2: 10:16

And one definition of meaningfulness is to see a great greatness and to understand you're part of that greatness, and that's something that single people don't experience regularly. There are other places to find it, but when you're part of that greatness and that's something that single people don't experience regularly there are other places to find it. But when you're a parent and something has come out of you, looking like you and is looking to you to survive, and then you have to make sacrifices, that's one definition of love. You initiate the well-being of another thing, Oftentimes not looking for anything in return. That is yeah, To answer your question. Yes, we need to understand you as it relates to the world.

Speaker 1: 10:55

And I do understand the parent identity. It doesn't like to be attacked or told. So there's a gentle way of, yeah, to approach that because, um, you know, it's much more easier, even in our own inner work. It's much more easier to blame on the outside rather than look within and we think that, okay, well, the other people need to change. But really, when you start doing your inner work, it's like change is only within yourself and the only thing that you can control is within your own self, and a lot of times you're not even able to control yourself and the things that happen or your behavior or emotional responses.

Speaker 1: 11:35

So why, you know, I always say it's the Kool-Aid that parents drink, that they think they can control the little human that's in front of them rather than have better understanding of what's autonomy and how to help them develop their skills to live in a world that we can no longer relate to. Because what I you know the listeners know that I have 14 year old twin boys. The world that they live in is totally different than when I was 14, live in is totally different than when I was 14, even different to what my 29-year-old was when he was 14. Technology has changed things so drastically, even since COVID happened. These past four years, things have pivoted in such a way that it's like and to use the narrative of well back in my day, it doesn't help you to relate to what they're going through. So could you give a little bit of a description of what this work is, that you do with parents and how to support them with their children?

Speaker 2: 12:40

so if to give some more perspective to what you said, I would say yes, and in that that there are some fundamental things that haven't changed throughout the generations, going back thousands of years. And then there are challenges for this generation. Yeah, and where would we start? Let's start with jonathan height's book, right nowious Generation, with the onset of screens and social media, what that's doing to the narratives in people's heads.

Speaker 2: 13:10

We are the stories we tell ourselves and our identity. My work is strongly based on identity and the framework that I have, the show up framework, because all behavior comes from identity and I believe, all through life. Life is asking us who are you? We answer I am, and we answer that through stressors. Yeah, right, in a growth mindset. You don't know what's a growth or a fixed mindset until it's challenged. Or, like Mike Tyson says, everybody has a plan until you get punched in the mouth and you figure out who you are.

Speaker 2: 13:53

So that's the unique challenge of this age. Um, the social disconnection through social media. There's not that face-to-face connection where oxytocin and endorphins are released through eye-to-eye contact and flesh-to-flesh contact. So there have been those digital boundaries, if you will, that have been set up. That's another challenge of this time and when we're speaking about in our screen-filled world, when those screens close because we're forming our identities on the back end of it, in social media, and we say, oh yeah, I'm part of this tribe, I'm part of this tribe. When they close, the question is, who am I? And if we can't answer that, we can't meet the stressors of life for the challenges of life. So that's, that's the challenges for this generation. And and there was a delineation I think it was 2012 where we saw, oh yeah, we see this up, uptick in mental well-being or the lack thereof, so we can measure it Now, what has been for traditions?

Speaker 2: 14:53

Other people matter, relationships, another point worth noting and I'm starting a new program in regards to this, because this is where I again, like I said, spirituality is a big part of my life. Uh, lisa miller's work, if you're not familiar with her, dive into her world. She wrote the awakened child and the awakened brain, and it's scientific based understanding of what spirituality is. And all of us are spiritual beings. Cs lewis said we're spiritual beings having a human experience as opposed to humans having a spiritual experience.

Speaker 2: 15:29

Now there is spirituality, there's a blend of it with spirituality and religion, and then there's religion, and religion is just the environment and the rituals and so on, but there's an understanding beyond us, whereas we are connected. That is our sovereign birthright and I'm BYOB in the work that I do bring your own beliefs, as I've studied and taught in many different I've seen I've seen a-holes in all walks of faith and I've seen beautiful people in all walks of faith. And you know I say a-holes playfully, but I mean everybody's going through their own challenge. And you know I say ails playfully, but I mean everybody's going through their own challenge. And just as there's 7 billion different people on this world, there's 7 billion different understandings of the divine, the higher, even if you're agnostic or atheist, I can make an argument for us to be connected to something greater, which is the person across from us. While we're still delineated, we're still connected and in understanding that that's where our well-being comes from.

Speaker 2: 16:28

So kids are looking for that and and the reason I work with this age is it's going from independence to sorry, from dependent into independence, and that's where the first breaking I call it goes. The first breaking is their new roles. Who am I? So? Um, there's identity breaking. Then there's collaborative mistrust. I don't know who to partner with while I'm trying to navigate and figure this out. Ideally the parent is there as a trustworthy advisor, and then E is emotional management. It's a wall of ICE I-C-E Identity breaking, collaborative mistrust, and then E is emotional management. The highs are highs and the lows are lows, and biologically it is supposed to be like that, because it's teaching us, it's putting us on high alert to see what is safe in this world.

Speaker 1: 17:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:18

As we're trying to navigate and figure it out. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 17:21

Yeah, in my work I really educate people about their nervous system. I understand that some people feel like it's too academic, it's too scientific, it's too big and it's like this is something that every individual is riding in. It's a car vehicle that you're riding in and if you don't understand your own vehicle and what it needs, then you're trying to put parts of a Honda into a Porsche and it's not going to work Because that's, you know, it's really having to understand your own biology and, as you mentioned, the trauma you know, really understand how those experiences have shaped your nervous system and how you can reshape it. Because the title of you can't teach old dogs new trick is just some BS of not wanting to do your own inner work because it feels too intimidating or you haven't been given the space to really accept yourself of your fullness, of who you are Like. A lot of times, you know, for healing people will be like, oh, you're going to create a new person.

Speaker 1: 18:26

It's like, no, healing is about taking those layers of pain to be the great person you already are inside. You've just been separated from that. You've just not been able. You've been so much into the outer world, of this dimension, of this world looking for you, validate me, you tell me what my identity is. You tell me where the steps I need to get to to get that safety and security and success, rather than listening to this inner world and trusting yourself. In a world that keeps telling you you're not good enough or you don't have the right tools, it's difficult to know how to trust yourself. So I'm thankful for the work that you're providing for the young ones at a young fundamental that there's a different way of being able to, you know, do the journey of life, because life is impermanent and there's some big experiences that happen.

Speaker 1: 19:17

And it's like, well, how do I, you know, understand all of this? Like, give me verbiage and language to be able to walk this place and for the parents to finally have some language. Because when I came into the realization that I have no idea how to parent these twins because before I thought I, you know, I drank the Kool-Aid and parent knows everything and it's like how can you know how to really fully parent an individual that you haven't really explored, to know how their personality is developing, how they think, how they see things, not just pushing all of my agenda on them and that space of. I don't know. It's relieving but it's also intimidating, because then the fear of society and you know the parent has to get this all in place for their child and it's like, oh my gosh, but really it's very empowering to be in that, I don't know, yet very intimidating. You mentioned um lisa. What's her last name?

Speaker 2: 20:19

miller miller dr lisa miller from canada, columbia do you know?

Speaker 1: 20:24

uh, dr shefali. Okay, have you worked with dr shefali?

Speaker 2: 20:30

no, no, no, no, no. Not like I know them with their work.

Speaker 1: 20:34

I've read their books and, yeah, no well, I worked alongside, I did some events and stuff, hosted some events for dr shefali and did some of her courses. So that language of Lisa Miller is very, very current, like has the awaken and all these things. So I'm like it's the same conscious kind of language and I'm thankful that there's more and more Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 20:59

Two points I want to touch on here. One is the idea of introspection that you mentioned. Because of our screens, our awareness is being constantly pulled away from the inside of us. There's an initiative inside Europe called well. It's a global initiative that started in Sweden called the Inner Development Goals, and it's bringing our awareness back to our insides, because that's what feelings are. Feelings are saying how are we interfacing with our world?

Speaker 1: 21:27

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 21:27

Or emotions. Rather, you are the universe experiencing itself. But because we're not taught these skills of introspection at a young age, as we progress in life, really, who are we? Who am I? Where is the trust? Do I actually know what's in there? We're apprehensive to go inside. So that's one point I wanted to highlight. I'm not making a point, but just highlighting that, yeah, that's a challenge of this age.

Speaker 2: 21:54

The second one is and this is from some of his work in the 50s or so on, we took spirituality out of the public discourse in America and it's because I can hold a spiritual belief, you can hold a spiritual belief and I can hold respect for you, and it doesn't have to be salvific.

Speaker 2: 22:13

You know what I mean. It's like when we can understand this, I can understand your value and you can understand my value, and we don't have to be at each other's throats or some people. Easier said than done and I understand that. But let's see the humanity in each other first and the whole point of taking spirituality out of the human discourse. We live in a materialistic world and there's nothing wrong with the pursuit of success, but then in the pursuit of that, with the understanding of being connected to other people in something greater. People are living less meaningful lives, which contributes to the growing depression, which contributes to the growing loneliness, the disconnectedness. Um, yeah, that's why I do feel called to to create more discourse around spirituality and, as you understand it, you know, I just want to highlight those two, yeah, and I'm thankful that you understand it, you know.

Speaker 1: 23:03

I just want to highlight those two yeah, and I'm thankful that you brought up you know where spirituality, you know, came out of the education system. It's, you know. I use the analogy because I'm very visual, so I like to give visuals for people to better relate to something that might be a little nuanced. I'm like, okay, imagine we're all at a table and we're all eating food, yet you're eating it with your hands. I'm eating with a knife and fork, this one's eating with chopsticks and that one's eating with a spoon.

Speaker 1: 23:33

Are we going to criticize the method in how we're eating this food, or can we sit around this table and allow each other to eat in the way that we can and share our experiences? And perhaps maybe now I, instead of my knife and fork, I'll engage in eating it with my hand. But we're all consuming the food and we all come at it in a different way. So why are we now going and taking the king of the hill? My way is the only way, and if you don't do it this way, you're not doing it the right way, and that's where the division and separation comes from.

Speaker 2: 24:07

Can I extend that metaphor? I've noticed, and you put it in your pocket for later it's yours. I noticed with this generation they're apprehensive to bring awareness of the person eating with their foot or with the chopsticks. And because and I'll explain it, this metaphor just pulling on a thread, but, and there are people who eat with their feet, you know what I mean, because they may not have arms, but they feel as though if we mentioned that, it's somewhat looking down at them. It's like no, no, you're not looking down at them, you're just stating the obvious that they have to eat with their feet. This person has to eat with chopsticks.

Speaker 2: 24:40

And mentioning something is not creating conflict. No, and because I love people for those who are listening, I am sun-kissed, with brown skin, but I love people who whisper the word black as if it's something wrong to say. It's like no, no, we can speak about racial things and it's not racist, it's just acknowledging what it is. And you can still hold people in dignity while speaking about what is and there will be points of contention. In all relationships. There's tension or conflict, but that doesn't define the relationship. What defines it is how we manage the conflict and if again, I can hold myself in dignity means that I hold you in dignity, like we can go so much further, but but people are apprehensive to have conversations because they're like fear of offending the other person, and and of course we can this is a whole longer conversation but offense can only be found with me.

Speaker 1: 25:39

Like there are people who have said things that are offensive and I'm just like that doesn't offend me because I know who I am exactly, and I think people, if they would recognize there's always conflict within yourself, like, say, you're on a, you're like I want sugar, but I know it's not good for me. There's always conflict, but you know how to hold the space for both or more those that can't hold the space. That's why they can't deal with conflict, like there's no such thing as a world not having conflict. The reason why we have war is because they don't know how to deal with conflict. They don't know how to deal with diversity, they don't know how to deal with different points of view. They think my way is narrow and it's the only way, and that is a very fixed mindset not allowing that growth, and it's a very dysregulated nervous system that it's in real fear that if it's not this way, then everything else is evil and it's going to harm me and whatnot.

Speaker 1: 26:36

So, like, as you can see, I'm really. You know the whole reason I started this podcast is to remove the stigmas around mental health and create dialogue like this, offending about every little thing it's like, and then this cancel culture. I'm like what the heck? How are we supposed to improve if nobody's allowed to make mistakes? Like you're gonna dig something 10, 20 years ago and be like and if a person acknowledged it back then we still get to berate them like 10 years later and be like oh no, you didn't repent long enough and look what you did and it's like what are we really dating?

Speaker 2: 27:18

I was thinking about this and this thought you just hit me yesterday. I've not shared it, so there's a fresh take. During the teenage years and adolescence, we are valors of truth. We're constantly because life is still black and white for us. It's not until 18 where we see nuance right, and that's why, around 12, we get very skeptical. Now this is my fresh take Social media speeds up an idea.

Speaker 2: 27:49

Right, it doesn't mean that it's true, it doesn't mean it's false, it just speeds it up. And cancel culture came about because a lot of adolescents had access to phones and we can do a lot of research. We're quick to say, no, this is not true. There we can invalidate somebody, whereas adults know life is very great, yeah, you do, yeah, you do have values and things that are important to you and you align with people. But, um, it's, it's, it's when. Yeah, that's where cult cancel culture came from. I believe there's a whole bunch of adolescents, people who want to be valid of truth and I mean, yes, we want the truth, I'm not saying we don't want the truth. And actually, again, this is a longer conversation, this is a nuanced conversation, but truth is relative for different cultures of what it means.

Speaker 1: 28:37

And to ride on you, though ride on you when you say adolescent, recognize somebody that is 50 could still have an adolescent mind. So that's why the culture can come, because people will think it's only by an age number not realizing their mind is still very adolescent, that they haven't matured in certain aspects. They haven't done their inner work to question things for themselves, question what truth is. And, as you said, truth is very subjective because, depending on culture, depending on your experiences, you're going to view it in different ways and it's always going to expand. Truth is not solid, it's very static. It can always evolve and grow and become different. You can add on to it and become different. You can add on to it.

Speaker 1: 29:27

There's only, you know, literal truth that we know we're all going to die Like this body aspect isn't going to live Like. That is an absolute truth that we know. Yet other things you know if you don't have air, well, for how long? Some people, maybe two minutes, other people, they've gone for a very long time without it and they're still so. You know it's. It depends, like you said, on that.

Speaker 1: 29:48

But I really just wanted to come back because a lot of people think here adolescent, and they think, oh, between 13 and 18 I've met some grown adolescents, yeah well and I and I've had to work with myself too when that little adolescent wants to come out and it's like whoa, we matured now that people are so impulsive that even our news don't even fact check anymore.

Speaker 1: 30:29

They're so quick to be the first one that it's like who are we trusting now with information? Because everybody just wants that acknowledgement of look at me, I got all I can get your, your attention and doesn't mean that I'm going to fact check and give you proper truth or facts. I think there's a difference between people hear truth and there's facts like where are the facts to things? And I think that's what's really lacking in some of our language is let's come back to getting some facts, not just truth of what you're feeling or the emotions and stuff like that, but not by it's creating more dialogue now and slowing down, like we're in so much competition with technology that technology was supposed to simplify our lives, not speed us up, that we're so impulsive and we don't know how to rest.

Speaker 2: 31:21

You know if I may share another perspective with you. Yes, so technology speeds up consciousness or the flow of information. Um, the same arguments that were made about social media today, and that it separates us and that it gives us too much leisure time without focus on other people. Same thing was said about TV. It was said about the radio. It was said about the printing press. When it came about, the printing press was of the devil, because people would be busy reading books now and they won't be able to go out and experience the land and other people. So technology is the medium yeah it's.

Speaker 2: 32:07

What do we do with that medium? Because now, I mean, we're communicating over technology and I don't think you're a person waving your fist at computers, but what it comes down to is, as a creator, as a sovereign person, what do you want? Yeah, and at my core, I really do want the well-being of you, the well-being of your sons, the well-being of those audience listening, like I really do want that, because as a community is made greater, like I, there's a resonance that creates around the world that will eventually contribute to my well-being. I believe you are me experiencing life from a different perspective. We are very separate, but we are also bringing a vibe and we are also bringing a vibe. So I now I said all of that to to create this With the advent of AI.

Speaker 2: 33:00

I believe it's going to free up a lot of time to some of the other work we're doing is BS, bad stuff and it's going to allow us to actually, like my chairperson said, figure out what it means to be human. We're going to see what connectedness is. We're going to see what it means. We're going to actually look at what do I want, and I align with people who want well-being. I know different people go about it and do it different ways and they're different value systems. But if that's what you want, like, I align with you and I vibe with that.

Speaker 1: 33:32

Yeah, exactly, and you know it's the all or nothing that people have and it's like everything has it's good and everything has it's bad. It's depending on how you want to perceive it. So again, innovation, for some people it's the devil and it's evil. We cannot go into innovation because it's going to and it's you haven't worked with your fear to acknowledge and go into the unknown and uncertainty. Like when you do spirituality, you really understand the unknown and uncertainty. Like when you do spirituality, you really understand the unknown and uncertainty and you understand you're always in it. Yet a lot of people don't even have the awareness that they're in, that they think it's all under control because they're in their mind, in their head, so stuck.

Speaker 1: 34:12

So social media I wanted to make my part where I was adding introspection content, self-healing content, people to reflect within themselves and speak about things openly of, like our struggles and our challenges, so that it was very relatable and not feeling like it's so therapist that it's academic and I don't know how to really attain it, that there's some actual practical tools that people can use, because the majority of what people use for social media is fear porn.

Speaker 1: 34:47

They know it activates the nervous system and puts in all kinds of narrations and stories and then, if they got your attention, then they can control the narrative in you and that's where indoctrination and all these things happen.

Speaker 1: 34:57

So I just wanted to do my little part which is just a little splinter in social media, of adding some content that would disrupt some of this and that would bring that well-being, so that people could be like wait a minute, there might be something a little bit different. But it's not this, this evilizing things, because social media has brought so much information that we didn't know, like the things that are going around the world. Tiktok has opened up so much stuff for us that we're like you can't lie to us anymore, like this stuff is really going on, even though you still want to dumb us down with this. Yet also, our brains weren't meant to intake all of this information because it dysregulates, because we have a crippling sense of helplessness, and when you have helplessness and not able to take action with that, it's very debilitating, unless you've developed your tools of how to be with the helplessness and come back into the now and take some action for what you need to create.

Speaker 2: 35:59

Yeah, I love listening to you because it's well inside. It's spurring me to have more of a presence where I am, to be more intentional with the vibe I want to create. Online I don't necessarily jump into, but if there's a message that I have that I want to amplify, social media is the channel by which to do it yeah and um just set up my, my, my, if you will, guards.

Speaker 1: 36:29

Yeah, yeah yeah, because, um, I don't, uh, at one point, you know, at the beginning, because I had, when I had the lesions I I came off of social media so I unplugged from it all because my well-being needed me to be within and be a parent and all that. And then when I came back on, it was like I saw the luring and the intention of a lot of companies and stuff and it was like, well, I'm going to be intentional of what I want to create and it can be.

Speaker 2: 37:03

No, I was going to make an interjection there. I heard something when you were speaking. We do not take expansive action for who we are. First of all, we have to know who we are and then we, when we fill that space because the universe is constantly expanding, right, but we can't do it if we have resentment or if we have fear. Yeah, and resentment? A balloons, is this video? All right? Um? Resentment comes from re meaning again. Centaur is spanish latin for to feel, so recent art. It means to feel again because you don't get to express it. But when we hold resentment towards something, we're harboring hate and then we have fear of expansion. Social media depending on if you're not curating the content of your consciousness, social media breeds and nurtures resentment and hate.

Speaker 2: 37:59

It does Because it gets more attention, and that's what the algorithm is geared for. It's more attention, but um, I that's what I heard while you're speaking yeah thank you.

Speaker 1: 38:09

I appreciate you uh, highlighting that for people because you know the the nervous system is based out of negative bias. So, as you said, if there's resentment and fear, it's like getting activated and our work is to regulate this nervous system so that it's not in high alert and that we can be expansive, that we can be in the possibilities and the abundance and remind ourselves of that and be it, not just theorize it or intellectualize it. It's actually the embodiment of being, that of what you're wanting to be. Our language is so similar. I really appreciate this deep dive because it's nice when you can be with somebody that's going to challenge and stretch, to see it in a way, and then also, you know, reflect and ponder so that innovation and the growing can be there.

Speaker 1: 39:05

Because it's like I understand a lot of people are very black and white and it's like, no, like it's nuanced, like it's a spectrum, it's not one or the other, it's all aligned and it's allowing yourself to have critical thoughts, which I'm seeing more and more like a lot of people don't have that and I'm like, no wonder you're not. I guess you're not. You know, we, we all we have to question our own thought because everything is automated, so you always have to automation of you know what's going on. Going on, where am I, what what's guiding me, what is what has hijacked my behavior or my thinking process or my emotional compass? And I know that's work, but that's the work that we're supposed to be engaging in.

Speaker 2: 39:50

It's not work. So I love words. You probably figured. But to critique means to hit critical, that's what it means. You probably figured. But to critique means to hit critical, that's what it means.

Speaker 2: 40:07

And we often don't engage in critical thinking because fear of offense of the other person. And and again it's how do you have hard conversations while holding the other person in respect, holding their dignity? And you can choose to leave conversations like by all means, but, um, you have those conversations by first having them inside. And and one metaphor that I heard again with another table, um, it was from, actually, lisa miller. She said there's I can't get the exact names, but there's a person who is a person of truth, a person of intuition, a person of mystic and a person of something else, and then a person of skepticism. And imagine them all sitting at a table. The table is your heart.

Speaker 2: 40:53

If we keep the skeptic at the door, no ideas can get in. Or if you keep that person who's always a valor of truth at the door, no ideas can get in. Or if you keep that person who's always a valor of truth at the door, no ideas can get in. But we need to bring the idea and put it on the table and everybody gets a say, and then you, as a sovereign being, again you get to make the decision. But you need to look at from all these angles and critique it.

Speaker 2: 41:15

And now I understand. I want to pay respect to those who may have ACEs or adverse childhood experiencers or weren't taught the skills they weren't supported in being taught this, I mean, and that's our work to do to help people in the community to be skilled in this, to be supported in exploring this. But, um, it starts with us. It starts with the individual and let's start to have more critical ideas, more critical thoughts. And if the individual and let's start to have more critical ideas, more critical thoughts, and if you can do that, let's start holding spaces for people to have critical thoughts.

Speaker 1: 41:46

Well, I'm mindful of time. I could talk to you for hours and hours because I love how we can just bounce off of each other and share our perspectives and share our, you know, experiences, and also what comes up like you just shared that something came up yesterday for you and you're revealing it in real time and that takes courage, also because you didn't get to really analyze it and see like, oh, how are people going to perceive it or whatnot, and that's that's the whole thing of being a creative is allowing yourself to make mistakes. That's the whole thing of being a creative is allowing yourself to make mistakes but yet being engaging. That you know what? I have the accountability that if I did say something that may have harmed or offended somebody, I can sit here and say you know, I apologize, no ifs, ands or buts or trying to defend I apologize that you felt that way, and so I really appreciate the work that you're doing. I appreciate you being in this lifetime with me, so that it encourages me that I'm not alone in.

Speaker 1: 42:48

You know, the space, and the whole reason why I called Lift One Self was lifting the ego, which the ego is, the defense mechanisms of the nervous system, protecting you from vulnerability, yet when you're in your vulnerability, you can be in that oneness. You understand that space of sharing and that we communicate in frequency and in energy more than we in our language and in words that man has created. So I want to ask, cause I'm sure many are like okay enough, Nat, Nat, where do we find Marcus and what does he have to offer? So can you let them know where you are and what you have for offerings?

Speaker 2: 43:31

MarcusHiggscom, I'm right, when this camera goes off, I'm recording the videos for um, for an offer of identity. It starts with a strong identity. The show up framework is the framework by which I approach the work I do, and S is it starts with a strong identity, letting the parent understand who they are and creating a culture of that inside the house, because in those formative years, that's where they're transitioning into who am I and looking at their virtues and values. This comes from VIA, virtues in action, along with hey, what is important to you, and I want to respect that. So that's where they can find me, and I shall have that up two days from when we're recording this, so if this is released after that, it will be there.

Speaker 1: 44:20

Okay, great, you know all of that will be in the show notes, because I'm all about networking and for people to get access, because the reason why I have conversations with people around the world is because now, with the internet, we can get access to things that are just not only in our place. We can access something around the world that really resonates with us, that there's a modality that opens up that, like I can work with this and I can comprehend it, and then that change can be done, because we're in an age where a lot of people consume a lot of theory, yet they don't do the practical work to actually see the change. So, thank you for all that you do in this world and I want to know is there something that you would like to leave the listeners?

Speaker 2: 45:10

There's no greater privilege than to be who you are.

Speaker 1: 45:15

Yes, that's true, and I have one more. I have a reflective question for you. I want to go back to your 18 year old self, and you have three words to tell your 18 year old self to carry you along the journey to right now. What would those three words be? What?

Speaker 2: 45:40

would those three words be? Love is the first one, right Now. Love right now. And they did not go together when I thought of them, but I love putting them together. Love right now. And when I said right, I meant right this way.

Speaker 1: 45:59

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 46:00

Right Love now. Now Right Love there you go. Right Love now yeah.

Speaker 1: 46:11

Any combination you want. That yeah. Yeah, I love it Because once you start doing your healing, you see that things are reversed in your perception. So you just got to look at it backwards too. So I love that that message really resonates and yeah, it's. It has been amazing to connect with you. I hope you will come back onto the podcast because I know you'll have a lot more wealth of knowledge and I think our conversations can go in so many different, deeper ways that I think a lot of listeners would be engaged in the conversation. So I want to thank you for being here and offering your time to us. It's greatly appreciated.

Speaker 2: 46:49

Thank you for sharing the platform. It was wonderful. It was wonderful, Nat Nat. I love saying your name, Nat Nat.

Speaker 1: 46:56

I know Some people, like I said, if you you're playful, you'll use it. Other people they're a little too serious, they're like I can't do it.

Speaker 2: 47:02

So it has to.

Speaker 1: 47:05

So I'm like well, you know what you don't get to engage in the, the playfulness. I think, like you said, we said at the beginning, there's not enough playfulness for adults. So have that unstructured play and really open up and let that curiosity and creativity you, you know, delve in some places that you didn't think was possible or that you weren't allowed. You have to give yourself permission to play.

Speaker 2: 47:29

That's why it's self-directed joy. Get some joy in your life. Let it be self-directed.

Speaker 1: 47:35

Please remember to be kind to yourself.

Speaker 2: 47:39

Will do