The Secret Language of Listening: A Journey to Understanding

What would it mean to truly hear someone—to listen with every fiber of your being? I found out the hard way when a personal crisis forced me to rely on my listening skills like never before. This episode of the Lift One Self podcast takes you through my journey from a hospital room filled with fear and uncertainty to a profound realization about the impact of active listening. It's not just about words; it's about the raw, unfiltered emotions and the strength found in human vulnerability. Discover how being present and genuinely open can transform life’s most challenging moments into opportunities for connection and understanding.

Active listening is a superpower we all possess but often overlook. I'll share how mastering this art can revolutionize your relationships and career, making you not just a better listener but a more empathetic human being. Through personal anecdotes and actionable advice, I challenge you to engage more deeply with those around you. Imagine your next conversation is with someone holding the secret to eternal happiness—how would that change the way you listen? Let’s embark on this journey together, where the stakes are high, but the rewards are limitless.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hey, there, it's Nat. Nat and you're listening to the Lift One Self podcast. Today, we're diving into something that could literally change your life active listening. Yet before we jump in, I want to share something personal with you. This past week has been hell. My dear friend was rushed to the hospital. Hell, my dear friend was rushed to the hospital. Suddenly, I was thrown into a world of beeping machines, worried faces and words like critical care and DNR. I felt helpless, scared and completely out of my depth. Yet you know what this crisis taught me? Something profound about listening, like really listening, and I need to share it with you.

Speaker 1: 0:50

Picture this You're sitting in a sterile hospital room. The person you care about is lying there, vulnerable. A doctor walks in with news In that moment. What do you do?

Speaker 1: 1:02

Now, many of you know that active listening is my forte. It's what I do. People hire me to create safe spaces to truly hear them. Yet let me tell you, when it's your best friend in that hospital bed, everything you know gets put to the test. And in that moment put to the test, and in that moment I had to dig deep, like I mean deep. I had to use every ounce of my skills and experience, to stay present, to truly listen, to feel, and you know what it made all the difference. This crisis didn't teach me how to listen. It showed me the profound impact of listening when the stakes are at their highest. It reminded me why I do what I do and why this skill is so crucial for everyone.

Speaker 1: 1:58

Now, hearing this, please don't think this was a perfect experience. Don't think this was a perfect experience. The reason why I was able to dig deep is because I allowed there to be messiness, humanness, to allow myself to be in the space. There was a blend of stoicism and vulnerability. Now you may be wondering what is active listening really? Now you may be wondering what is active listening really? Forget the textbook definition. Here's the real deal. Active listening is when you shut up your inner voice. You know the one that's always planning what to say next and you truly absorb what someone else is saying. It's like have you ever been so engrossed in a movie that you forget you were sitting in the theater? That level of focus, that's active listening.

Speaker 1: 2:50

Active listening isn't just hearing words. It's about being fully present, absorbing not just the words, yet the emotions, the unspoken messages, the entire experience of the person speaking. It's about creating a safe space where people feel truly heard, understood and seen. Why should you care? Look, I get it. We're all busy. We've got a million things in our minds, yet here's the kicker Active listening is your superpower in disguise. It can one save your relationship, trust me. Your partner, your children, your friends, co-workers will notice. Two make you better at your job Hello, promotions, possibly or even just better productivity. Number three help you understand people in a way you never have before, and in times of crisis it's a lifeline.

Speaker 1: 3:57

What's the importance of active listening? In our fast-paced world, we often react based on our fears and preconceptions. We think we know what someone's going to say before they even finish speaking, and sometimes that might be right. Sometimes we can know the pattern that they're going to speak or the emotions that they're going to say. Yet here's the thing that's not just listening, that's projecting. Active listening creates change and connection. It opens us up to new information, new perspectives. It allows us to step out of our comfort zone and truly engage with others. You see, when you do active listening, somebody else can finally hear themselves, not what you're going to respond with, and that creates change within. Here's an active listening challenge. I dare you, yeah, I dare you to try this today.

Speaker 1: 5:04

Next conversation you have. Pretend the person you're talking to has the secret to eternal happiness. How would you listen to them? Here's your game plan One you're going to shut down your phone. Yes, completely, I believe in you. You can do it. Shut down your phone, put it face down, put it to the side. Number two look them in the eyes. It's not creepy, it's caring, it's engaging. It also creates safety within our nervous systems. It's uncomfortable, though Takes practice. Number three when you feel the urge to interrupt, and you will take a deep breath instead, or even put your finger in front of your mouth, this will prompt you to hold yourself. Number four ask questions, yet only to understand better, not to take over the conversation or to justify why you're right. You want to help support the person. You don't want to belittle them, you don't want to judge them, and that is where you work, not to do A real life game changer.

Speaker 1: 6:28

Remember my friend in the hospital that's presently still right there, right now, as I create this podcast. Really, listening to the doctor, to my friend, even to the silence, I understand the situation better. I know exactly how to support them in the moments. No assumptions, no misplaced advice, just pure, unfiltered understanding. And by doing this active listening, I'm able to see patterns within their physiology, in their experience, and able to present it to them for them to be curious to see. Oh, I wasn't aware of this. I'm also able to present information to the medical staff that they wouldn't know about, which helps them to create a better picture, a better plan for her. It's tough Like this. Shit doesn't feel good and it's makes you want to crawl out of your skin and you just want to shut down. It's emotional. It's brought me to the knees of vulnerability, yet it has brought us closer than ever.

Speaker 1: 7:52

I want to bring you into a mindful exercise for active listening. Let's take a moment to practice. Close your eyes if you're comfortable doing so Now. Take a deep breath in and out. Take another deep breath in and out. You might start noticing some feelings or sensations in your body, and that's okay. Just keep taking those deep breaths in and out. Notice the sounds around you. Don't judge them, just observe. Don't analyze them, just observe. Allow that. Analyze them, just observe. Allow that curiosity to go further. Now imagine someone you care about is speaking to you. Picture their face, their expression, their body language as they speak, notice any urge to interrupt or formulate a response. Acknowledge that urge. Then let it go. Focus on truly hearing them, on understanding their perspective. Take another deep breath and, when you're ready, open your eyes. This simple exercise can help cultivate the mindset needed for active listening.

Speaker 1: 9:31

Now the self-care reality check. Now let's get real. This intense listening, especially during tough times, can drain the heck out of you, and I can testify to that, trust me. I know. That's why self-care isn't just important, it's a non-negotiable.

Speaker 1: 9:52

For me, staying grounded this week meant relying on tools that I have developed throughout the years. One game changer Magic Mine. It's this daily drink that's been my secret weapon for focus and stress relief. You know how sometimes your brain feels like it's in a fog, especially during stressful times, and I can tell you my brain has felt very foggy this past week. Well, magic Mind has been like a gentle breeze, clearing that fog for me. It's got this blend of aptogens and nootropics fancy words for natural ingredients that support brain function and help manage stress. It helps with the nervous system. For instance, when I was trying to process all the medical information for my friend, magic Mind helped me stay focused and clear-headed, and when the emotional weight of the situation felt heavy and let me tell you, it was crushing at times it seemed to take the edge off, helping me to stay calm and present and also hold a space for me to feel my authentic emotions, no longer suppressing or running from them.

Speaker 1: 11:11

Now I'm not going to give you a hard sell here. Your journey is your own. Yet if you're curious about how it might support you during your own challenges or day-to-day life, check out wwwmagicmindcom. Forward slash, lift oneself. That's M-A-G-I-C-M-I-N-E-S-E-L-F to zero to get your discount. Try something new. Your stressed out self might just thank you.

Speaker 1: 12:02

Remember, though, no product is a substitute for genuine self-care and connection. It's just one tool in your well-being toolkit the ripple effect of active listening. Here's a beautiful thing about active listening it spreads. When you truly listen to someone, they feel valued, they open up, and next time they might listen to someone else the same way. Imagine a world where everyone listened like this Mind-boggling right. The change that everyone keeps looking for is within ourselves, and we have to demonstrate it. Yet it's difficult when you just want to blame and want everybody else to just show up differently. It's warrior work to continuously keep showing up with the tools that you know that better the world within yourself and around you.

Speaker 1: 12:59

Now your mission, should you choose to accept it this week. I challenge you, yes, I challenge you. One practice active listening in one conversation per day. Yes, one conversation per day. Yes, one conversation per day. Two notice the difference in how you feel, how others respond, you know. Start stretching that self-awareness.

Speaker 1: 13:28

Number three come back here or on the social media platforms and share your experience. I'm dying to hear about it. Remember, this isn't about being perfect, it's about being present. It's about connection. In a world that feels increasingly divided, your listening ear could be the bridge someone desperately needs. Thank you for being here, for listening like truly listening Together. We're not just lifting ourselves, we're lifting each other. Until next time, keep those ears open, your heart ready and remember to be kind to yourself. This is Nat, nat signing off. Be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media, on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people come over on my website, come into a discovery, call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.