End of Life Planning: The Crucial Conversation Most Families Avoid

What if you could better prepare for life's most unpredictable moments, reducing the emotional turmoil for your loved ones? Join me, Nat, on the Lift One Self podcast, as we tackle the often-overlooked yet crucial discussions surrounding end-of-life care and Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders. We share personal stories and emphasize the importance of voicing your wishes to prevent leaving family members and medical staff in challenging positions. By bringing clarity to medical interventions like CPR, often misrepresented in popular media, we urge you to educate yourself on end-of-life options. Our conversation aims to equip you with the understanding needed to face mortality with grace and preparedness.

Beyond these essential discussions, we highlight the theme of empowerment through thoughtful planning and compassion. Encouraging a life marked by deep love and wise preparation, I remind listeners of the lasting impact our kindness can have on those around us, even in times of distress. Self-kindness and gentleness are not just personal virtues but gifts to those we care about. For those eager to explore these themes further, I extend an invitation to engage with our community on social media under Lift One Self. Perhaps even consider a discovery call to discuss how you can incorporate these values into your life. Remember, love encompasses preparing for difficult times, and together, we can navigate these conversations with empathy and understanding.

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Chapters

• 0:00 End-of-Life Conversations and DNR Orders
• 14:49 Empowerment Through Planning and Kindness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system.

Speaker 2: 0:15

Yet we don't just leave you there.

Speaker 1: 0:16

We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself.

Speaker 1: 0:36

Hello and welcome to the Lift One Self podcast. I'm your host, nat Nat, and today we're diving into a topic that might make you feel uncomfortable, yet, trust me, it's one of the most important conversations you'll ever have. We're talking about DNRs do not resuscitate orders and why discussing end-of-life care isn't just for the elderly or terminally ill. It's for all of us. Now I know what you're thinking. I'm young, I'm healthy. Why do I need to think about this? Yet here's the truth Life is unpredictable. Car accidents, a sudden illness these things can happen to anyone at any time. Sudden illness these things can happen to anyone at any time, and when they do, the last thing you want is for your loved ones to be burdened with gut-wrenching decisions about your care.

Speaker 1: 1:38

Let's paint a picture. Imagine you're in a hospital bed, unable to communicate. Imagine you're in a hospital bed, unable to communicate. The doctors turn to your family and ask do they have a DNR? Your parents are torn. Your partner is in shock. Your children are in disbelief and possibly your siblings are arguing, all because you never had this crucial conversation. It's a heavy scene I know I was just in it a few weeks ago Yet it's one that plays out in hospitals every single day. And it's not just your family that bears this burden. Think about the medical staff, the doctors and nurses who have to navigate these emotionally charged situations while trying to provide the best care possible.

Speaker 1: 2:35

I'm going to share some personal experiences in regards to DNRs. I have a friend that had to make this gut-wrenching, heartbreaking decision for her child and to this day, whenever she has to recall that memory, you energetically can feel the emotional charge of how heavy this decision is. This decision is Three weeks ago. I was in the emergency room, in a room where the doctors asked us does she have a DNR? The silence that followed was deafening. We all looked at each other, hoping someone knew the answer. Yet the truth was she hadn't discussed her wishes with any of us. Why Fear who wants to talk about their end of life and what they want? It can feel like you're calling some bad omen on ourselves, and the reason why I'm creating this conversation in this topic is because we have to have better relationships with death. We have to be informed of what the facts are. We also have to be informed of what it looks like if we need to go to the medical system and what the responsibilities are. Thankfully, you know, my friend came back online and we didn't have to make those decisions. Yet when she became strong enough, we have had those discussions of her making a choice so that it's clear and this heavy burden is in place on family members and children. You see, this was a wake-up call for all of us. We realized by not having these conversations, we weren't just putting a burden on ourselves. We were potentially taking away her right to decide her own fate. Decide her own fate.

Speaker 1: 4:53

I'm sharing this story not to scare you. It's to emphasize how real and unexpected these situations can be. So what exactly is a DNR? It's a medical order that instructs healthcare providers not to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation CPR if your heart stops beating or if you stop breathing. Yet it's more than just a piece of paper. It's a profound statement about how you want to live and die on your own terms. Now let's get real for a moment. When we talk about resuscitation, we're not talking about what you see on TV. Cpr isn't a gentle push on the chest that miraculously brings someone back to life. It's intense. Chest compressions can crack ribs. Chest compressions can crack ribs. Intubation means living on a machine. These are medical realities we need to understand and consider, also educate ourselves.

Speaker 1: 5:59

Yet this isn't just about DNRs. It's about taking responsibility for our lives, all aspects of it, including the end. It's about having those difficult conversations with our loved ones so they know our wishes. It's about sparing them the agony of making life-altering decisions without our input. I've had this conversation with my eldest son. It's heartbreaking. It's so emotionally charged and you want to resist every step of it because it's like I don't want to hear this shit. I don't want to have to talk about this. I don't want to hear this shit. I don't want to have to talk about this. I don't want to even see this as a possibility. It's spoiler alert we're all going to die in some way, shape or form by being able to have these conversations. It allows the fear to be seen and processed. Allows the fear to be seen and processed. It's not easy. I know it's not. I've gone through these conversations. Yet trust me, as a parent, the thought of leaving my children is unbearable. Yet that's exactly why we need to have these conversations, because love isn't just about being there for the good times. It's about preparing for the challenging, difficult times too.

Speaker 1: 7:38

So how do we start? First, as I said, educate yourself. Learn about the different end-of-life care options Not what you see on TV, unless it's like a real-life documentary. Yet even then you know. Reach out to medical staff to be informed with the facts. Understand what terms like full code, dnr and advance directive mean. Talk to your doctor. They can provide valuable insights based on your specific health situation.

Speaker 1: 8:19

Then have the conversation. Sit down with your loved ones, be open, be honest, share your thoughts, your fears, your wishes. Listen to theirs. It might be uncomfortable at first, yet I promise you it gets a little easier and the peace of mind it brings is immeasurable. Now I know we've covered some heavy stuff today, so let's take a moment to center ourselves.

Speaker 1: 8:57

I'd like to lead you through a brief meditation to help process these thoughts and emotions. Now, if it's safe to do so, I'm going to ask you to close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose. Take a deep breath in and gently release, bringing your awareness to watching your breath. Take some deep breaths in and gently release, allowing all those charges, emotions, thoughts, to have some space to float around. Now feel your feet on the ground, grounding you to this present moment, keeping your awareness on your breath.

Speaker 1: 10:01

Keeping your awareness on your breath. Think about your life, the joys, the struggles, the people you love, acknowledge any fear or discomfort you might feel about end-of-life planning. It's natural, it's human. Now imagine yourself having an open, loving conversation with your family about your wishes. Feel the connection, the understanding, the peace that comes from this act of love and responsibility. Keeping your awareness on your breath, taking another deep breath in, gently releasing, allowing yourself to just be with your breath, allowing yourself again to reflect on your life. Reflect on this conversation, reflect on your responsibility for how you want your end to be. Take another deep breath in and, when you're ready, you're going to gently open your eyes while staying with your breath. How do you feel? A little calmer, I hope. Remember, talking about death isn't about giving up on life. It's about embracing life fully, on your own terms, right up to the very end. You see, when we talk about death, then we can focus on living. Yet you have to go through that portal.

Speaker 1: 12:13

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Speaker 1: 13:37

As we come to the end of this episode, I want to leave you with this thought Having these conversations, making these decisions, it's not just about dying, it's about living. It's about taking charge of your story right up to the final chapter. It's about giving yourself and your loved ones the gift of peace of mind. So I challenge you have the conversations, make a plan, take responsibility for your life, all of it, because in the end, that's the greatest act of love you can give to yourself and those you care about. Begin the first step, Go, educate yourself or even ask a friend to assist you in accompanying you in getting this information. Let them know how overwhelming and how fearful you feel, yet that you want to empower yourself with the knowledge and you know. Take charge of your life. Thank you for listening Until next time. This is Nat, nat, reminding you to live well, love deeply and plan wisely. Please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself.

Speaker 2: 15:02

You matter out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, come into a discovery call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.