Joy and Resilience in Moments of Grief

Have you ever considered that accepting reality, especially in times of profound loss, doesn't mean suppressing your emotions but rather embracing them fully? Join me on the Lift One's Self podcast as I recount a vivid dream that stirred deep emotions and led to a renewed understanding of living with loss. Through personal stories from my experiences as a hospice caregiver, I share how confronting impermanence can foster resilience and faith, even when it clashes with our expectations. As the holiday season approaches, let's find joy in everyday moments and make a conscious choice to perceive happiness amidst life's inevitable challenges.

We also pause to reflect on the delicate balance between growth and stillness, an exploration of striving versus simply being. It's not always about becoming something more but appreciating who and where we are now. I encourage you to practice self-acceptance and gratitude for your current state, advocating for kindness and gentleness towards oneself. Together, let's cherish this meaningful space and time, uplifting ourselves and those around us while honoring each moment we live.

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Chapters

• 0:02 Accepting Reality
• 17:43 Embracing Growth and Stillness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome to the Lift One's Self podcast. I'm your host, nat Nat, and today I'm going to share what it means to not reject reality. Many of you know that you know, on November 27th, natalie transitions. It hasn't even been a month yet yet it feels like an eternity. And last night I had a profound dream. I was hugging her and in that dream the reality came that I would not be able to share that hug with her again in this reality. And that immense sorrow woke me up. And in the waking up I was bawling, just heaving and bawling, bawling, just heaving and bawling, and accepting reality.

Speaker 1: 1:13

Yet I think we get a wrong definition of what acceptance is. Sometimes people think acceptance isn't going to be about feeling emotions, and I would beg to differ. You, knowing reality allows you to feel the humanness of it. You know, our minds really want to reject reality, because the reality means that there's the impermanence and what was here at one time is no longer here. And that takes a lot of work, like a lot of work, and I'm so thankful for the tools that I've developed in this past decade. You know, caregiving in a hospice environment, it helped me to really be present and it took a lot of courage and strength to show up in that presence, in the aversion of pain. You know it's one thing to have your mind mess with you, that everything's possible, yet there's also the reality that we all have our time to transition and having that deep acceptance and really walking in faith. Many of us think we walk in faith, yet we usually use faith to have life the way that we want it to be, in our expectations, and that's not what faith is. That dream last night. Just let me really release some deep emotions of the sorrow, of the pain, the anguish, the sadness, yet also the deep appreciation that I got to share this deep, profound relationship with another human being, that I got to experience intimacy in such a profound way that you know no theory, no school, no kind of academic learning would provide you with this lived experience, and it's something that you know is. It's a mindfuck. It really is.

Speaker 1: 3:41

Like I said, there's this reality of accepting. You know what's here and also your mind wants to grasp on what was here and wants to contort reality, wants to deny reality, and that creates a lot of suffering. That's why it's so important to feel the emotions and not suppress it, because the more you suppress it. It creates a real malignancy within yourself and, you know, a lot of things start to hijack your behavior and you don't want that.

Speaker 1: 4:22

And I just want to honor anybody in this holiday season. You know we're going into a new year and it can be, you know, profoundly saddening for some people. It can be joyous, it could be saddening, it can be a multitude of things all at once. And I hope that you'll take your moments to accept what is and what's present right now, in this moment, and allow yourself to open up and feel joy, feel the glimmers of joy. You know we sometimes want to look for the extraordinary, to feel joy, and it's, it's in the ordinary, it's in the choices that you're making to decide that you will allow yourself to feel joy, because there has to be a choice with it. It's not just always going to come naturally. There has to be a mental choice of deciding of how you're going to frame your perception and how you're going to accept the as-is of reality.

Speaker 1: 5:34

You know, one thing I have to think in this transformative year is Magic Mind. It has helped me carry me through the profound joys and the depths of fear and fragility of life. You see, I brought Magic Mind with me when I was in Barbados or anywhere I've traveled, and I also had it with me while I, while I was in the hospital. Those eight precious days of caring for Natalie and magic mind has been that steady companion through it all. During my time in Barbados, having magic mind as part of my morning routine helped me to stay present and energized, allowing me to fully embrace every moment of relaxation and discovery. You know know, enjoying the vibrancy of Crop Over while just relaxing, and taking it slow and steady with Natalie on the beaches. Yet it was during those intense eight days of caregiving in hospice, in the hospital, that I truly appreciated having something that could provide steady, grounding energy when I needed it the most. Those days were filled with both emotional intensity and the need for clear headed presence, and having Magic Mind as part of my ritual helped me show up fully for Natalie while maintaining my own well-being.

Speaker 1: 7:18

What I valued most about Magic Mind is how it supports you through life's full spectrum, from the adventures that fill your cup to the challenging moments that require all your strength, courage and focus. It's not just about energy or productivity. It's about having a reliable foundation that helps you remain centered no matter what life brings. If you're curious about Magic Mind for yourself, go to wwwmagicmindcom. Forward slash live oneself. That's M-A-G-t-o-n-e-s-e-l-f. And who doesn't want some savings during the holidays? So use my discount code LIFTONESELF20. That's l-i-f-t-o-n-e-s-e-l-F-2-0. What I really appreciate about Magic Mind is they offer a money back guarantee for your first order. They stand behind their product.

Speaker 1: 8:37

As I reflect on this chapter of my journey, I'm deeply grateful for having found something that supported me through some of life's most challenging and significant moments. You know these experiences have really gotten me thinking about how we approach life's different seasons. Sometimes we're in periods of vibrant growth and adventure, like my time in Barbados. Other times, we're called to be present in profound ways that have nothing to do with personal growth or development and everything to do with simply being there, fully present in the moment. Present in the moment. As I reflect on that dream I had and the profound emotions I had, I want to explore this balance with you. How can you own like, how can you honor both our desires for growth and our need to simply be present with what is Like? Grief is such a profound experience because one minute you're open, elated, you're moving through. The next minute there may be a memory that hits you, that wants to drag you in the past, that wants to reject the reality of the as is right now. So I just want to bring you into diving into three key aspects of this journey and possibly what could help you navigate the present moment.

Speaker 1: 10:21

One is the art of pure presence. You know, we often approach presence with an agenda. We meditate to become calmer, we use mindfulness to be more productive. Yet what if we stripped away all those goals? What if we allowed ourselves to simply exist in the moment, without trying to improve it? I learned this profound lesson during those eight precious days with Natalie. There was nothing to achieve, no way to optimize the experience. It was about being fully present. It was about being fully there, breathing the same air, sharing the same silence. That's when I truly understood what pure presence means. You know, think about a child. They're looking at a butterfly. They're not trying to analyze it, figuring out what it is, or trying to take that Instagram photo. They're experiencing the butterfly as is. They're simply absorbed in the moment, experiencing it, filled with wonder. That's pure presence. It's being completely engaged with. What is that? You forget to analyze it.

Speaker 1: 11:49

Now, number three finding joy in the ordinary. Here's something I've noticed lately we often overlook joy because we're too busy looking for the extraordinary. Yet joy lives in the ordinary. That first sip of morning coffee or tea, the sunlight streams through your window, the familiar sounds of your loved one's footsteps. Yeah, in Barbados there were breathtaking beaches and amazing sunsets. Yet some of the most joyful moments were surprisingly simple, like watching the children play cricket in the streets, savoring a fresh mango from a street vendor, listening to the waves crash. The truth is, extraordinary moments are rare by definition, yet ordinary moments we get thousands of them every day. Some people call them glimmers. When we learn to find joy in these moments, we multiply our capacity for happiness exponentially. It's not about making every moment special. It's about recognizing the specialness that's already there Now.

Speaker 1: 13:15

Number three balancing growth with being. Let's talk about something that's been really on my heart lately this delicate dance between pushing for growth and allowing ourselves to just be. You know, it's like the rhythm of breathing there's a time to inhale, to take in new experiences and push for development, and there's a time to exhale, to settle in who and where we are. And with grief, that can be a heck of a thing, I tell you. I've noticed that the most sustainable growth often comes from a place of acceptance rather than resistance. It's like what I experienced with Magic Mind. It wasn't about forcing myself to be more productive or energetic. Instead, it provided a foundation that allowed me to show up fully, whether that meant embracing the adventures in Barbados or sitting quietly with Natalie, the key is learning to recognize what each moment is asking of us.

Speaker 1: 14:31

Sometimes, life presents us clear opportunities for growth. Maybe it's a new challenge at work, possibly a new relationship that pushes us to evolve, or a personal goal we're ready to tackle. Yet other times, life asks us to simply witness, to be present, to hold space for ourselves and others, to listen deeply. Think of it like tending to a garden. Yes, there are times for active cultivation, planting, pruning, fertilizing. Yet there are also times for simply sitting in that garden enjoying the current state, allowing things to grow and flourish at their own pace. Both are equally valuable, equally necessary.

Speaker 1: 15:30

As much as I feel Natalie's presence with me, I also know the human side of me still longs for her to be in physical form here, and you know that's part of the process of grieving, of being on the other side, of love, of opening yourself up to energy that has transformed. So I hope there's something in this conversation that has brought an aha or an opening for you to be present with what is presently, that you can allow yourself to feel joy, that you can be in the as-is of this moment presently. I'd love to hear from you what moments in your life have taught you the value of simply being present. How do you balance your drive and your growth with your need for presence? Share your thoughts with me on Instagram, at Lift One Self, or on our community page on Facebook. Your stories and insights truly enrich our collective journey.

Speaker 1: 16:42

As we move through this holiday season and prepare to transition into a new year, let's take a moment to practice what we've been talking about. I invite you to pause, wherever you are. Yep, just take a pause for a minute and take a deep breath in and, as you inhale, allow yourself to drop into your body and gently exhale While you take another deep breath in. Simply be present with this moment. No need to improve it, change it or make it anything other than what it is. Take another deep breath in and just be present with the as is.

Speaker 1: 17:43

Remember there's profound beauty in both growth and stillness, in both striving and being. Your journey doesn't always need to be about becoming. Sometimes it can simply be about being. Allow yourself to just accept and appreciate the being. Thank you for sharing this space with me. I know some of it might have gone pretty deep and I thank you for staying this long with me. Your time matters to me and I appreciate it deeply. Until next time. This is Nat, nat, reminding you to lift yourself, lift others and lift this moment. Please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.