Beyond Goodbye: Finding Peace in Life's Final Chapter

Have you ever wondered how early life experiences shape our understanding of mortality? Join me, NatNat, as I share my story of loss and the journey it has led me on to confront grief and fear with a new perspective. I'm joined by Roy Coughlan, an insightful entrepreneur from Ireland now residing in Poland, who brings his own unique views on life and death. Together, we uncover how our family's beliefs and our own personal encounters with death can instill a sense of peace and connection that transcends the physical world. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of presence and mindfulness, allowing us to create space between thoughts and emotions.

As we navigate the profound moments surrounding the final days of a loved one's life, we discuss the comforting signs that suggest our departed loved ones might still be near. From cherished memories of my grandmother's joy in simple pleasures to the unexpected appearance of butterflies, these experiences offer both solace and spiritual connection. Such reflections have not only deepened my understanding of life but also enriched my ability to truly listen and connect with others. We delve into the importance of staying mentally active and socially engaged, as these connections continue to shape our lives long after a loved one has passed.

Conversations about end-of-life wishes and the necessity of expressing them can often be laden with cultural resistance, especially within Caribbean communities. Roy and I tackle these challenging topics head-on, encouraging listeners to have these important discussions about funerals, wills, and more. By sharing personal stories of loss and intentional living, we emphasize the significance of being present with loved ones and embracing life's unpredictability. This episode invites you to reflect on what advice you would give your younger self, encouraging you to live authentically and free from the fear of others' opinions. Join us for a conversation that is not just about accepting death but also about celebrating life with compassion and courage.

Find out more about Roy here:
https://bio.link/podcaster

Chapters

• 0:00 Embracing Life, Accepting Death
• 8:46 The Comfort of Beloved Departed
• 13:30 End of Life Intentional Care
• 25:26 Power of End-of-Life Conversations

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there. We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself.

Speaker 2: 0:35

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast. I'm your host, nat. Nat and I recently just went through a very sentimental, deep experience, as many of these guys have seen on my social media or know. Natalie transitioned on November 27th and today we are, I believe, december 5th and I am doing my first podcast since then and I am being so graciously in a space with Roy and I think our conversation today will bring some depths to people with their lived experience with life, with death and especially with fear. So, roy, could you please introduce yourselves to the audience so they can get to know a little bit who you are before we start our conversation.

Speaker 3: 1:26

Absolutely. And first of all, thank you very much for having me on your show. We really appreciate it. I'm Irish, I'm from Cork, which is the south of Ireland, and I worked in construction, on construction economics, and I was about 33 or something like that, and then I moved to Poland. I'm living in Łódź in Poland for 17 years and I did I've got six podcasts, I've been an entrepreneur. I have 20 companies in five countries and now I'm doing virtual assistants as well and basically I suppose I've lived so many different things.

Speaker 3: 2:03

And, as we touched prior to the call, you know like I don't fare. I don't fare debt. It's a part of life. I accept it. Look, you know we can't avoid it and it's like why fare it when there's probably something beautiful? So, depending on your own belief system, I believe life is not. It doesn't end, because when you see somebody, you just you know you can feel the presence and you know that you, you get signs, you just you. It's amazing and I mean we'll touch on that from even signs from the grandmother, but I'm convinced they're letting you know they're okay.

Speaker 2: 2:40

Yeah before we get into the depths of the dialogue, would you join me in a mindful moment so we can ground ourselves and open up our hearts? For the conversation? Yeah, I would love to. Yeah, and for the listeners. As you always hear my safety spiel, most of you listen to a podcast, so when I ask Roy and myself to close our eyes, please don't Safety first, yet the other prompts you're able to engage with. So, roy, I'll ask you to get comfortable in your seating and, if it's safe to do so, I'm going to ask you to gently close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose.

Speaker 2: 3:20

And you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose. You're not going to try and control your breath, You're just going to let the awareness watch the rhythm of it allowing it to guide you in your body there may be some sensations or feelings coming up, and that's okay, you're safe to feel you're safe to let go surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be be, with your breath drop deeper into your body.

Speaker 2: 4:06

Now there may be some thoughts or memories that have popped up, and that's okay. Gently bring your awareness back to your breath, creating space between the awareness and the thoughts and dropping deeper into the body allowing yourself to just be. Again more thoughts may have popped up.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Bring your awareness back to your breath beginning again, creating even more space between the awareness and the thoughts and dropping even deeper into the body, allowing yourself to just be now, at your own time, and at your own pace.

Speaker 2: 5:11

You're going to gently open your eyes while staying with your breath?

Speaker 3: 5:12

how is your heart doing? I'm doing very well, I feel good. You have a lovely soothing voice and I'm grounded because I don't wear the shoes.

Speaker 2: 5:17

My feet are touching the ground, so I feel very well, grounded and yeah, it was uh nice yeah, we're very like-minded because I'm barefoot on the ground also, even in this wintertime with the snow dropping outside, I'm outside bare feet also because that grounding really has a profoundness of that magnetic charge within ourselves. So you mentioned that you have, you know, pivoted and changed so many ways of yourself different characters, different places, different environments, different career choices and you also mentioned that you don't have a fear of death. Was that always the way you thought, or was there an experience that showed you the veil of fear?

Speaker 3: 6:06

I don't think I've ever feared death. I've kind of, you know, I mean, I was lucky that my great-grandmother was alive till I was something like 11. So that was the first kind of experience of somebody really close, because I was very close to her. And I don't know, it's just like two different things. My grandmother's brothers like my grandmother that was um, because we mentioned about, you know, there was six of them and she was the last to go, so I would have seen her brothers and sisters pass as well and I would have been very close to them.

Speaker 3: 6:37

And I don't know, I just kind of accept it. It's. It's like I know a lot of people, they talk about it, they're fair, but I don't fear it. So it's always been kind of in me and I think it's the same with my parents and maybe they had the influence on it. They haven't feared it and you know, for because sometimes people can kind of make an influence on your parents, that can make you think your thought process, and I didn't have that. So maybe I can thank them for why I believe that.

Speaker 2: 7:03

Yeah, I think it sounds like you had a very healthy environment around death of having that acceptance and not resisting it and being in lack. It's being in the acceptance of the cycle of life and what that looks like. Before we started the conversation, you spoke about your grandmother, Gerlina, and I want to welcome her in this conversation and dialogue because, as we both have the same belief, energy doesn't die, it just transforms. So those that have transitioned, they're on the other side of love. I deeply feel the presence of Natalie in me, presence of Natalie in me. Can you explain and share what that looked like for the end of life with your grandmother and the choices that you made to maximize your time with her?

Speaker 3: 7:57

I suppose I kind of go back a few years to see how close we were, because I went to a school which was about 40 minutes from my house but was near her. So I had my dinner every day with her and my brother, like we're only two years apart. So we were, you know, very close, and then she would come to babysit us, you know, maybe at the weekend or something like that. So we had a very good bond and we used to call a lot where she's come to my house and when I moved I made sure I was ringing her. I was always ringing her and we were always playing practical jokes. You know, sometimes she would think I'm in Poland and I'd be after coming to Ireland and I'd phone her and I'd sneak in because I'd have a key to the house and I'd scare her and we were just playing jokes the whole time and like she was a couple of weeks short of 96 and she looked fantastic and I think it's it's important as well to kind of look after yourself. So she was into reading, she was, you know, she surrounded herself like she had friends and family. So I think that's very important. Sometimes people isolate themselves, but doing crosswords and things like that. So you're keeping your mind. So she was like her mind was there, it was very good and I was living in Poland, I was entrepreneurial and you know she got cancer is what. What actually happened and it was kind of fast, but because I was working for myself, I was able to come home and I didn't rely but I kind of said, okay, this I remember sitting on the chair with her and you know she was kind of slouching, she uh, uh cushions, holding her up and she had.

Speaker 3: 9:27

She lived on her own even up to that, but my mom was calling over every day. But then when she got ill, you know my mom was staying there and stuff like that, but it was this. It was very sad for me because it was like this was I. I think this was the first time and then they came back again. So it was like she's sitting there and we're just I just in her hand for like over an hour and I remember the tears streaming down because it was like we both knew there was a silence there but a love. So then when she was getting back, I came back. It was about a month but it was like you know, going up to the room just holding her hand, just talking to her Like she was there but not really there, and then they were giving her the morphine.

Speaker 3: 10:04

But one day she used to love turkish delights and I don't know it's. It's like a chocolate with turkish inside it. That was our favorite and I don't know why I done it, but I knew that. I went away and got it and we cut it into tiny little cubes and my mom was shocked, like she was like eating. It was like the best steak of her life, the way that she was and just seeing the pleasure on her eyes. But it was like I am so grateful for that moment that I was able to spend so much time with her then, because she was so good to me all my life. But even though it was sad, it was like I just felt now she's at peace and she's moving on to another place.

Speaker 3: 10:46

So like I think I mean I've been in hospitals to different relatives and everything, and there's always like a moment, there's always something like they just come to and they give you a smile or they just say something and then they'll pass. It's like they're just kind of telling you it's okay. It's happened so many times. And my mom then was in my grandmother's house and there was a few things there was. I was after getting a pint and it just fell off the wall a couple of days later. And then there was a musical instrument just started playing that wasn't mulled up and there was a few little things like that that happened and I just believe it's a way of saying I'm OK, it's like these things doesn't you're going? That's never happened before. Why does it happen now? And I think it's just a case of it's their way of showing it's OK.

Speaker 3: 11:31

And a strange thing happened in Poland with a friend of mine, his, his partner. She was very young, she got some blood disease. She was like only 21 or something like that, and it wasn't the winter that the funeral was on and I like, for some reason, butterflies have kind of connection to me. I saw a butterfly going up and I said nothing to no one. I was like you shouldn't be a butterfly. And about a month or so later I was talking to him and I said it to him and he started crying. He said I saw that as well, but I thought I was seeing things you know, so know, so like why would a butterfly in winter be flying across.

Speaker 2: 12:06

I can't explain a lot of these things, but I just think it's a way of saying I'm okay, yeah I think we have been trained not to lean into those things, to really understand energy, to understand how nature can give us those images, and that we no longer really rely on the body's eyes, that we can be in the spiritual eyes and really feel that presence. Because, like you said, we interact with each other but when we leave there's an energy, there's a presence that's left, that when we recall memories, there's a feeling and sensation that's left within us and I think it's very profound of the richness that you got to experience that no school, no academy or any textbook could give you, of what you got to experience with your grandmother in those last few days and weeks. That gave you a richness that is very profound that. Do you think that that has changed your way of listening with people?

Speaker 3: 13:14

I think I'm very present anyway, which like no matter what's happening and like we hadn't mentioned it, but my father passed last year and I class it as being the best death ever that I have witnessed in my life. He went my brother's living in Holland, there's only the two of us. He went with my mom. They went to Holland for a holiday to my brother and his wife and their dog. They had a fantastic time. Then they came to me about a month later or something like that, and like I'm with my son here, my youngest child, he's, he's like 10 and we just done. We went to an indoor team park. I played pool with him for the first time, we were playing darts, we were doing bowling, it was just beautiful. And then they went on a holiday to Portugal and my dad was singing, like he liked karaoke and my mom sent me recordings as they were there and she had him recorded, but some woman opposite was loving it and recording it. My mom asked her could you send me? She and she did, which was strange. It was just, and so I see my dad singing and he kind of like pointed to my mom and they're just having a brilliant time.

Speaker 3: 14:22

He came back on the Wednesday. On the Thursday they went to a dental hygienist and he was talking about they went in home, he was talking about getting a Chinese and then he says I don't feel well. And he just went out to the hall and she caught him and he died in just like that no pain, no nothing, just gone. And they called the ambulance, they tried to revive him but she said I knew he was gone. So my mum, she didn't grieve because she said it was like so peaceful that she saw how well he was.

Speaker 3: 14:50

And you know it's so it's a strange one, but like I just think it was that he went to my brother, then went to me and even when I was dropping him off at the airport you know we always give each other a hug but something happened and I went inside and we just had a really strong embrace which never happened like that it was. It was. You know, when you think back, you go, it was like planning for saying goodbye and so for me I mean I would love to have that kind of leave like that. I mean we don't know what was going to happen, but to me it was like no pain, no nothing, just beautiful yeah, your father's name amen amen, thank you.

Speaker 2: 15:32

thank you for bringing him in the conversation also and empowering us to see something different, that we can have healthy dialogues around death and have healthy dialogues around how you're going to live, what you're going to use with the time, and also be much more intentional Because, like you said, sometimes you know, myself included we pass by or brush through experiences with people. We don't take the moment to be really intentional and recognize like time is a tool. We really don't know when the time is going to end. So, really being intentional with you know, recognizing yet, as you said, there was something with an intention that just allowed that final goodbye and that lasting security to know that everything's okay and everything's safe, that you got to have those kind of memories.

Speaker 2: 16:26

Not everybody has those memories. You know, like um, and I just want to be mindful anybody that's listening to this conversation you know, when there's murder or there's sudden death or there's children, everybody grieves in a different way. This is just opening up a dialogue to see that there's other ways of grieving also, that certain people may want to grieve this way, but because the people that they're surrounded with it feels too intimidating to allow themselves to have that acceptance of reality and feel the fullness of life, that acceptance of reality and feel the fullness of life.

Speaker 3: 17:08

So I thank you so much for sharing these experiences with myself and the audience. And yeah, I mean I think accept it, because sometimes people when because, as you mentioned, there's so many different ways, you know, especially when it's a child, it's so difficult or like like I mean I've had uncles and stuff like that, but you know, long term and maybe I can't, and it's just to be present with them and to show love, like I have a friend. I had a long call um last week, just since we're talking on this subject, and it's a friend of mine that I would have met at a lot of events and her I just saw a post where her daughter she said she was nearly 23 and she she died. And you know it was heartbreaking, you know, because I so I said, look, I'm there for you, let's I know, for if you want to have a call and we did we had a nice call and she was just explaining, you know, that her daughter was in the hospital. It was in Dublin, even though she's living in England, and she went over to her child, but she was saying that the hospital was so nice.

Speaker 3: 18:03

All her friends every day were just calling and she was going in and out of kind of conscious and then she came, okay, and they took her out for today. So she was there with her brother and they were on the swings and she said we just a beautiful time, had a shower, went home, and then she went back and then she passed. She was like, so it was like the same kind of thing. There was like that moment that she lifted the spirits and said I'm okay. But it was also.

Speaker 3: 18:26

It was nice to see that like a hospital wasn't kind of using regimental tactics, saying oh, it's only two hours a day, like the thing is what I would say to people you know, sometimes people using authority, you, you, you, you put your foot down. You know if it's your loved one, you say sorry, I'm not tolerating that. You know like they try these things. You have people that are using, are on power trips. If you have a loved one and you want to be there 24 7, you go there 24 7 and if they won't put them out and put them into someplace, that will allow and allow people, because what you want is you want them to be surrounded by love. Unless they need to be, I mean, they will tell you that. You know if they're tired and they want to be alone. They want to sleep. But give them what they want. Support them in every way that you can.

Speaker 2: 19:10

Yeah, that's what we did with Natalie. She was in a hospice, in the hospital. We weren't able to transfer her into a hospice, so the hospital, we weren't able to transfer her into a hospice. So the hospital, thankfully, graciously, gave us a private room and it was at the end of the hall and the amount of people that came, um, we would have to watch her breath because she was non-verbal. So when the breath was getting agitated it was like, okay, get the nurses, so there's morphine.

Speaker 2: 19:36

So that because energy, like, even though the body and it's like she wasn't saying anything, the body was saying things that we could be, because she was very aware inside there were still certain grunts that she would make or certain movements that she would make, that if you were intuitive, like you would be able to see and recognize and be aware, feel the presence. Yet we were very fortunate to have such great staff, such great nurses, and they even said because I was very intentional by bringing, asking somebody to bring a diffuser in the room, so I was having like lemon and lemongrass and orange scents so that when the people walked in for her it was calming and for the people coming in they were greeted with calmness because it was very violent seeing her body in the way that it was, because it was totally opposite of who her personality was. And if nobody's ever really experienced hospice and seeing a body that hasn't eaten or drank and you're just waiting for it to stop breathing, it's, it's a mind fuck, literally for a lot of people. So I wanted to be very intentional with the energy and the space um in there and, uh, thankfully, you know, people came in. They even gave us a room because people were in the hallway. So they were like use the conference room. And they had said they had not ever seen a patient be cared for and given so much attention like we did. We bathed her, we changed her, we moved her around, which helped a lot for the medical staff because they're so bombarded with, you know, so many patients.

Speaker 2: 21:21

So, yeah, I'm thankful I didn't have that authority. I am thankful that I didn't have to do that pushback where another person, when I shared what I experienced, she was like, oh, at this other hospital we were in, my mother was dying and they said like it was only the two of us and we could only be there a certain amount of hours and they put us in a semi-private with another patient and was like why can't I get a private room with my mother, like she's dying? So she had to, and that's adding unnecessary trauma to somebody when there is the end of life and you want to be able to share those moments, those deep, intimate moments with somebody. So thank you for you know bringing that awareness for people to be in their empowerment of you know saying what is it that they need and being in charge of their surroundings.

Speaker 3: 22:17

And I think it's kind of going on a little tangent, but it's very relevant to this. It's like what I've learned with all the different things I've done. So, for example, just to give a little context, I had a lot of properties and stuff and lost it all. I was personally liable and to like five million because I was the principal or the president of a lot of companies, and then I saw so much corruption with banks and bailiffs and courts and everything. So I started learning sovereignty and the power I have and basically the power of the signature.

Speaker 3: 22:48

So when they're writing to you, they're writing as the all capitals or missus's in italia, all these things, and that's not you, so you can actually say you're the natural person and they will back down. So you start learning these things and it's like don't be relying on the solicitor or whatever, because half the time they're part of the corruption. When you learn your own power, because when you were born, you were born free soul and somebody then decided like, oh, we'll control you. No, you take that back. And so even when they're trying these things, you just get them to sign it and they won't, nobody will sign what they're telling you and you just get them and by knowing your own power and sovereignty, you will actually get what's what's, as some people say, a common law, because it's what everybody around would say. That's okay. Why should two or three people or an institution say no? And I encourage everybody to start looking at that.

Speaker 2: 23:43

I think we'll have to do another podcast so that you can give some education on that, because some people are probably like what is he talking about? I don't understand clearly. Um, so I think we'll have to have you back on that aspect so that you can empower, um, some of the people with you know, because I think a lot of people are relying on other people to tell them that everything's going to be okay or make the decisions. They really don't know the power of choice and what you know, their sovereign being, like you said, to be in that power. Yet for a lot it feels intimidating that they would rather offset it or put it onto somebody else, that they don't have the weight of that power. But there's tremendous power and freedom and liberation in that and I think it helps you with acceptance of that.

Speaker 2: 24:39

You can't just go blaming that somebody else made the decision for me, like when you made your own decision. You made your own decision and you can learn from it. You can pivot, because nothing for me, nothing is wasted in our life experience. Everything can be used in some kind of way, and sometimes it's not about making meaning of something, it's how are you going to show up now, what are you going to? What is the choice you're going to make in showing up after certain experiences and everything else?

Speaker 3: 25:08

um, so you mentioned that, I think because with my mom, because, like I have a fantastic relationship with my mom, she's going to come now for three weeks in christmas to stay with me, which I'm looking forward to, and like, basically, I know exactly what she wants done. We've had that conversation, whereas a lot of people don't. They're like it's a touchy subject. So I think, have your wishes.

Speaker 3: 25:32

If you don't want to be in a church and you don't want a priest over you, whatever your belief system, don't have it someone else's belief system, because it makes them happy. You follow what they want and you do what they write and agree. And so the best thing is just let people know, and we should all let people know, because you know I could get hit by the number 10 boss in the morning. That's just the way life is. And if people know what you want, don't be afraid to have them conversations. It's not as if it's doom and gloom. It's like, ok, I know what you want, I know what song you want to play, great, and look at it as a kind of just, it's a part of life. Why don't shun away from it?

Speaker 2: 26:09

Yeah, thank you for that, because I just did a conversation about DNR Do not resuscitate, and how many people don't even have that dialogue. They think it's an omen. Along the Caribbean, if you talk about wills, they're already talking about oh, you're trying to kill me and it's like, no, it's being responsible for your life, that you're not leaving a mess, and a lot of them don't realize if you didn't write something down, the government takes it all. Your family has to fight with the government and they don't have the resources. So it's really being responsible for your own life, not putting that off on somebody else because you feel awkward and in fear of having this conversation.

Speaker 2: 26:46

I've had the same conversation with my oldest of what I want. I've made it very clear Do not go spending a whole bunch of money on a casket and a grave and a plot Cremate me, rent a hall somewhere and have a party. If you don't even want to do that, no problem. If you feel that you need to do a church and all that, okay. Yet I'm going to be very intentional too. Of my wishes are that you take some of my ashes and you go in the Caribbean and you go in the ocean and you dump it, because most people have an excuse of not taking a trip. So I'm intentionally bringing them somewhere that I know will bring them an openness of caring for themselves and feeling the openness of what I enjoy and feeling my presence even more, but being intentional of understanding what really helps us, like those travels. It really helps to expand our mind. I'm on the same.

Speaker 2: 27:39

I've had that dialogue. I've had the dialogue about the finances, what this is, what that is here. Include you on my bank account, all these things so that, like you said, we think illnesses are the only thing of death and it's like there's nature there. We don't know when our time is. And it's not that you were cursed, it wasn't that something bad happened. It's just there is a fabric of life that is constructed that we don't have control over. You can be the healthiest person and still drop down with a heart attack, or you could be drug addicted and live till you're 100 like, and some of that we're like. It doesn't make sense and we're doing all the best. Yet again, you do your best to take care of yourself, to have a healthy body, so that you can enjoy life. Yet the end time nobody knows on what that looks like or when it's going to be. We're not in control of that yet.

Speaker 3: 28:36

Anyways, who knows what humans will try to do to extend, but yeah you mentioned like to do not resuscitate, and this is kind of something that I think is important as well. I had on my awakening podcast scott shara and his daughter. She was down syndrome and they didn't resuscitate her but they never agreed to that and he's now having a landmark case fighting that and what.

Speaker 3: 29:01

The reason I'm mentioning this is when somebody does something, whether it's a doctor or nurse or a hospital whatever and you know this isn't right don't just burst it off saying I don't have time for this, don't allow it to put your foot down. Make sure it's reported because you stop them doing it to the next person. They might have done it to you or to a loved one or a friend. And don't just assume someone else is going to start it out. Nip it in the bud and the more people that do that, the more people that kick out the people that shouldn't be in that industry anyway. If they don't have love and care and just kind of do it as a wage and they just they've hatred, get them out and don't be afraid to actually do that. If you see something wrong, make sure you're the one that actually tries to stop it.

Speaker 2: 29:43

Yeah, thank you for that too. Yeah, because, again, like you said, and as we said, it's your wishes Like if I wish that I and if my the person also wishes that's not for you to make that decision for somebody. So thank you for reiterating that aspect also, again, it's authority. And if you've been wronged, don't be intimidated by the Institute. A lot of people are intimidated by the Institute and they think they have no power. Yet it might take a long time. You need to have patience. Yet you still have voice and you still have tools and once you allow yourself to open up to receive, there's a lot of people that will come and assist you and help you. Yet you do have to speak up for yourself. Yeah, now I want to bring you into a reflective question. I want to ask you to bring this awareness right now, and you're going to go back to your 18 year old self, and you have three words to tell your 18 year old self to carry you to the journey right now. What would those three words be?

Speaker 3: 30:57

I don't know. Those are three words, words. But it's like stop caring what others think Because we fear what you know, whether it's public, I'm already late to the game. Public speaking, I was like 45 or something like that when I started taking Toastmasters and stuff like that. I used to fear it and so many things like that that you think so many people are watching or even afraid to go out on a dance floor or something like that. There's like no people are more concerned about themselves. So my message would be stop caring, you know, just be you.

Speaker 2: 31:32

Now, I know many listeners now heard about some of your experiences and, like I said, I want to have you again to talk more about the entrepreneur part and, you know, empowering people of decisions that they can make. Yet, for right now, where can the listeners find you and what do you have to offer them?

Speaker 3: 31:51

So RoyColincom is basically where they'll find everything. If they're interested in virtual assistance is VAworld, but I've got six podcasts meditation, speaking and they're all free. They're like the speakers to help you become a better speaker, but it's also taught in the orders the meditation, like some people say, I don't have time to meditate, so I have one minute to two hours plus conversations, just like this, and it's all things like that and everything that I'm doing is actually on that. So whether something is new coming, I'm right gone, that's gone, is there.

Speaker 3: 32:23

And all I say to people is like you know, whatever you're going through, the fair and everything, just it's just take it a step, you know. Don't be thinking, oh my God, what's this, what's the? Just say, okay, what can I do today? How can today a little bit better? We all know what we need to do. So, instead of thinking about it, just write it down three, and don't write down a hundred things. Write down three. Or what I say is have a what I have done list instead of a to-do list and just have a blank piece of paper. We know what we need to do and just write it down. And when you start seeing that filling up, you get a big confidence and you get more. So that's what they say. So with me, you I mean you've the conversation when I'm interviewing people as well they get.

Speaker 2: 33:03

They know my style and that sort of stuff yeah, I really appreciate who you are, roy, and what you bring to any conversation. Um, I've been on your podcast and every time I've interacted with you it's still the same presence. It's not you where you can kind of feel that people are like this way or that way. It's always a real presence that comes and you're very open and wanting to empower people, wanting people to have access to their authority, their sovereign being and their power, yet also let them engage with fear, like for me. You're the poster of fear. Like, lean into it and use it, because you don't realize what's on the other side of that. Is there something in your heart or something from this dialogue that you would like to leave with the listeners?

Speaker 3: 34:00

Don't be afraid to have the conversation about this.

Speaker 1: 34:07

I agree, I agree.

Speaker 2: 34:09

I want to thank you again tremendously for giving me the most valuable thing you have in life, which is your time. Sharing your time, your experiences and your story, and sharing your grandmother, your father and all your other relatives in this dialogue, holding space for my grief and my experience that I just went through last week, and having Natalie in the dialogue. It has been a true balm to my heart and really allowed my heart to open even more. So thank you so much for being so gracious with your presence, Roy.

Speaker 3: 34:44

Thank you very much and I totally enjoyed the conversation and I just hope that people enjoyed what we were talking about.

Speaker 2: 34:50

I think it's a conversation that's needed, and that's where I'm engaging, where, ok, let's start opening up this dialogue so that people can feel empowered to start talking about it with their relatives, and that will be the change that we're looking for in the world, and so thank you for being a part of this change.

Speaker 3: 35:11

Thank you very much. Thanks for having me on.

Speaker 2: 35:14

Please remember to be kind to yourself. Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them.

Speaker 1: 35:31

It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation, so please take action and share out the podcast.

Speaker 2: 35:43

You can find us on social media, On Facebook.

Speaker 1: 35:47

Instagram and TikTok Under Lift One Self.

Speaker 2: 35:51

And if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website. I'm into a discovery call LiftOneSelfcom.

Speaker 1: 36:04

Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.