Pain Isn't Physical: The Subconscious Healing Secret That Doctors Won't Tell You

What if the physical pain you've battled for years isn't actually physical at all? Jenny Harkleroad's extraordinary journey from debilitating chronic pain to complete healing challenges everything we think we know about our bodies and minds.

After a hiking accident left her with a broken back, Jenny's expected six-week recovery stretched into years of agony that conventional medicine couldn't resolve. Despite surgeries, pain medications, and every medical intervention available, nothing helped—until she discovered the true source of her suffering wasn't in her spine but in her subconscious.

Working with a doctor who used muscle testing to access her body's hidden knowledge, Jenny uncovered how emotional wounds from her past were creating physical manifestations in her present. More surprisingly, she found herself taking pain pills not for physical discomfort but to numb emotions related to her marriage—a revelation that began a deeper healing journey touching every aspect of her life.

The most profound transformation came when Jenny learned to reprogram her subconscious mind. After 100 therapy sessions exploring issues in her marriage without resolution, a three-day immersion in subconscious repatterning completely transformed her relationship without her husband changing at all. By healing the wounded parts of herself that were causing her to react negatively to her husband's behaviors, she found herself responding with curiosity instead of anger, acceptance instead of judgment.

Jenny's powerful story reminds us that we're often taught to "think our feelings" rather than actually experiencing them—a disconnection that can manifest as physical pain, relationship struggles, and a pervasive sense of unhappiness despite outward success. Through her personal transformation, she now helps others reprogram their subconscious minds to create profound changes in health, relationships, and overall wellbeing.

Ready to discover what your body might be trying to tell you? Connect with Jenny at balancedyou.org for resources to begin your own healing journey.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Mental Health and Trauma
• 5:03 Jenny's Journey with Chronic Pain
• 12:10 Mountains and a Broken Back
• 19:56 The Search for Healing
• 28:19 Discovering Emotional Roots of Pain
• 41:12 Repatterning the Subconscious Mind
• 49:43 Transforming Marriage Through Self-Healing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there. We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself.

Speaker 1: 0:36

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast. I'm your host, nat Nat, and today we are going to be getting into my bread and butter, jamming in talking about neuroscience and the nervous system and how you can make a choice of shifting, you know, your mindset, not in a way of toxic positivity, yet in a way that we can feel emotions and we can better understand what our mental state is, and choosing something differently by using practices and exercises. So, jenny, I already forgot how to say your last name, so I'll ask you to do that for me. Yeah, could you introduce yourself to myself and the listeners to better know you?

Speaker 2: 1:19

Yeah, hello. I'm Jenny Harklerode. I'm the owner of Balanced you. I live in San Diego, California, and I'm obsessed with the power of the mind, and I can't wait to share with you today why I'm obsessed and how I discovered its power and how you can tap into that power to to change anything you want about your life.

Speaker 1: 1:41

So, as I said, this is my bread and butter and I jam into this. So, before we dive into this, will you join me in a mindful moment so that we can ground ourselves and open up? Of course, so for the listeners, as you always hear my safety spiel when I ask to gently close your eyes. If you need your visual, please do not close your. Yet you're able to do the other prompts with whatever you're doing. So, jenny, I'll ask you to get comfortable in your seating and, if it's safe to do so, I'll ask you to gently close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose and you're not going to try and control the rhythm of your breath. You're just going to observe it, allowing it to guide you into your body.

Speaker 1: 2:31

There may be some sensations or feelings coming up, and that's okay, let them come up. You're safe to feel, you're safe to let go, surrender. Surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be, be with your breath, drop deeper into your body. Now there may be some thoughts or to-do lists that have popped up in your mind. That's okay. Gently bring your awareness back to your breath, creating space between the awareness and the thoughts and dropping deeper into your body, allowing yourself to just be again. More thoughts may have popped up. Gently bring your awareness back to your breath, creating even more space between the awareness and the thoughts, and dropping even deeper into your body, being in the space of just being and observing.

Speaker 1: 3:53

You may have noticed your breathing pattern has changed or there may be some aches or pains that you've noticed in your body that you weren't aware of before. Just continue staying with your breath and allowing you to have a sense of just being Now, at your own time and at your own pace. You're going to gently open your eyes while still staying with your breath. How's your heart doing? Nice and calm, calm. So you mentioned about you know the power of learning, about our biology and learning about how we can shift and transform. I want to bring you to the beginning. What got you into this and what is it in your personal story that has it so passionate for you?

Speaker 2: 5:03

Yeah, you mentioned something at the beginning. I think you said toxic positivity. Is that the words you used? Yes, and I think I was living in that. I was saying my affirmations and faking it till I made it.

Speaker 2: 5:18

But I wasn't making it, I was just faking it and I didn't know how to solve the problems in my life. I actually struggled with chronic pain since I was young. I got put on prescription pain pills at 12 years old and there was a lot of things in my life that were hard and painful and unhappy and I didn't know how to deal with them. And so I would pretend they didn't exist and, for the physical pain, take pain pills and tell everybody I was doing great, and for the emotional pain, just sweep it under the rug and pretend everything was fine, but what that causes is unhappiness, and so I didn't know how to be happy, and so I would again smile. Right, people say if you smile, you'll feel better, right? Like all the things I was trying to do, all the things and even talking to therapists, and, and it felt like I just wasn't getting to a new place in life. I was just the same old me, stuck in the same old patterns, faking that everything was great and I had what looked great from the outside. I married my high school sweetheart. We have four beautiful kids, very financially successful, had a strong religious foundation and spiritual foundation. Everything looked I should be happy. I should be happy. What's there not to be happy about? But I wasn't, and I didn't know what to do about it besides just keep faking it. And that's what I did until one fateful day.

Speaker 2: 6:55

It was August 10th of 2013. My husband and I and our kids and family and friends, we'd been camping and hiking and my husband and I got separated from the group a little and we got to this ledge on the mountain and he looked down and he said if I was young and in shape, I'd jump off of here instead of climbing down. And I looked and I thought I'm young and in shape and I decided to jump. And when I landed I heard a crunch in my back and I couldn't move and I knew something was bad and he tried to get me up. He climbed down and he couldn't get me up and our friends came and they tried to even carry me off the mountain. Anyone tried to touch me. I was not having it. They ended up calling 911, which here in America is, you know, emergency services and they sent in a ground crew that hiked in to try to get me off the mountain and it took them about 45 minutes to get to me. So it was pretty painful laying there. And when they got to me they decided that they didn't want to move me and so they called a life flight. So helicopter came and they zip lined me up to this hovering helicopter. That's about the last thing I remember, until I woke up in the hospital with them telling me you broke your back, me, you broke your back. Oh, okay, what does that mean? Now, thankfully, I wasn't paralyzed, I was just broken. But what it meant is you're going to lay in bed for about six weeks while your back heals and then then you know, like any broken bone, you'll be okay.

Speaker 2: 8:42

And I am this type A go-getter personality. I've got four kids, I've got a successful business, I'm running the women's organization in my church, I'm fundraising in my community. I am go, go, go, go, go, go go. Six weeks in bed. It sounded like a life sentence. What am I going to do?

Speaker 2: 9:09

Well, I lay there. I mean, ah, so I lay there and cry. I lay there and delete everything off my calendar and I lay there thinking how do I fix my life? Because I always have chronic pain issues. If it's not one thing, it's the next. And now this is.

Speaker 2: 9:30

I mean, there's no faking that your back isn't broken. What is going on? Why am I struggling physically so much in my life and why am I so unhappy when I have everything that I thought you need to be happy and I did a lot of soul searching and thankfully I didn't get better. And you hear me say that. And you think what? Thankfully I didn't get better, because if I would have gotten better in six weeks I would have gone back to my same exact thing.

Speaker 2: 10:05

I didn't get better for a year, I didn't get better for two years, I didn't get better for three years. So you can imagine this personality of mine Can't sit, can't drive, can't function, backs on fire, year after year after year. A couple years into it I decided to have major surgery. The doctors put in rods and screws and a synthetic disc, thinking that might help. Didn't help, and eventually they just said sorry, we're just going to keep giving you pain pills and we're sorry you can't function. And I said you don't understand who I am. I may go get her. I need my life back. And so I went on a quest, a mission, to find a solution to my chronic pain, and it came through a medical doctor named Dr Warren Jacobs MD. And basically what we discovered was that my pain was emotional pain showing up physically.

Speaker 1: 11:13

The word that came up for me was there's somatic releases that need to come out of your body that we're just not taught. We're taught to think our feelings. We're not taught to feel our feelings.

Speaker 2: 11:26

Yeah. So this doctor and I worked together for six sessions and I was back to doing handstands and backbends. I was completely healed doing handstands and backbends. I was completely healed and that's kind of a weird word to say healed because I wasn't really hurt anymore. Right, I had already healed, but it didn't feel like I had healed because I couldn't function right. But we just released all that tension in my body. That's what we did, and as soon as the tension was gone, it didn't hurt anymore. It's like if you're lifting weights and it's burning, burning, burning did, and as soon as the tension was gone, it didn't hurt anymore. It's like if you're lifting weights and it's burning, burning, burning, burning as soon as you stop, it stops hurting yeah yeah so do you know?

Speaker 1: 12:09

because you said when you were a child that you had the chronic pain. Do you think that it was emotional charges that were stuck in your body from childhood experiences? Or you know belief systems and just not knowing how to feel your authentic emotions, not feeling not necessary, knowing how to not feeling safe to feel those authentic emotions?

Speaker 2: 12:47

Yeah absolutely.

Speaker 1: 12:48

You know, my mom says I was born an adult and and what she meant by that was she would tell me what to do and I'd say you are threatening my and it's like the whole thing is about autonomy and letting them find their characteristic. Yet it's not easy to hold that space if you have no knowledge about it.

Speaker 2: 13:07

So Absolutely and literally. When I was two years old, I asked if I could move out. Yeah, you know, this isn't working for me.

Speaker 1: 13:17

I can imagine, yeah, if you're not in a space that encourages that, and you know, having the awareness of seeing things literally can feel very, um, disorientating and and you, you have to shove a lot of stuff because there's nowhere for you to go, because you're not able to caretake yourself. Yet you, you see things pretty clearly and see that, like this isn't functioning properly and I don't want to be in this kind of environment anymore. Yet what do you have to do is keep swallowing it, because this is where your necessities, your needs, are being provided she wouldn't let me move out.

Speaker 2: 13:58

She said no. She said you're not even potty trained. I said pack the diapers, I'll change myself. I mean, come on, let me out.

Speaker 1: 14:09

So, when you worked with the doctor, were you able to get to those roots of those experiences and the narration that you created for yourself in the belief systems?

Speaker 2: 14:20

Absolutely, and it was. It was pretty funny because at first I was not, I didn't understand the connection and I was not willing to go there. He said let's you know, tell me about your childhood. And I said, no, I don't talk about it. And he said why not?

Speaker 1: 14:34

Yeah right, flag, there we go. That's exactly where we need to dive into.

Speaker 2: 14:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was painful to think about it and talk about it and you know I love my parents. Of course they did the best they could and there was a lot of great things, but my personality in that situation was just a bad mix.

Speaker 1: 14:57

Yeah, well, I, you know I have twins and what I call them is disruptors. They did not come into this world to conform. They are disruptors, and if I could have a whole set of gray hair, I would. Yet as I use the tools and navigate, and I also recognize that children are a mirror for us to see ourselves and to see some of the pain points that we may not have been able to feel and go through. Yet what do we usually do? Shut it down Because, as you said, it's too painful.

Speaker 1: 15:31

I don't have the tools to be equipped for that. I don't know how to feel my emotions and I don't want to, because that makes me feel weak or messy or disorientated, and I want to feel a sense of control, whereas you don't realize. Once you start feeling your emotions, you realize it's not much you have control over and you don't have to hide your emotions. It's just for you to feel them because the body keeps score. So I could just imagine you know how I give a visual for people when they are to engage of releasing those energetic charges which are emotions is there's defense mechanisms and your nervous system is very intelligent and it wants to protect you, and because you have a narration that you're not able to feel that pain and it doesn't feel safe to create safety for that guard to open up so that you can go into that vulnerability and sensitivity um and for you it seems like it went very well, and pain is a really great teacher.

Speaker 1: 16:49

So after a while, when you have it, you're like listen, I'm not doing this anymore, whereas other people, when they don't have, when they don't have that, they don't have that motivation to really open up and release. So could you give some insight of what that looked like for you in those sessions?

Speaker 2: 17:06

Yeah, so this doctor used muscle testing, and I was familiar with muscle testing because when I grew up, my dad was a chiropractor and a lot of chiropractors use muscle testing, but I had only seen it done for checking alignment of the body or checking if somebody needed an herbal supplement. I had never seen it used for like exploring emotions or diving into the subconscious mind, and so that's how the doctor used it, and it was basically, you know, the goal was to get out of pain, and so he was asking my body, with muscle testing, you know why are you hurting? And my body told him it's emotional pain. And so then he would ask me well, what, you know what's emotional? And I'd say nothing. I'd tell my positive affirmations I'm happy, I'm healthy. I'm say nothing. I'd tell my positive affirmations I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm terrific. I just can't sit, can't drive, can't function. Here's my MRI. And he'd say no, no, no, we're not going there, we're talking about what's really going on.

Speaker 1: 18:12

Yeah, for me and for many, they'll be treated in the medical system that this is woo-woo, that this doesn't exist, that emotions don't do this to your physical body. It has to be something else that is causing this. Did you have that belief system or that narration in your mind before meeting this doctor?

Speaker 2: 18:37

I would say absolutely. I mean for my dad who's a chiropractor, it has to do with alignment of your spine right or just from the Western medical model. All these years I've been seeing doctors for my back. Nobody ever once said we need to look at your mind. And even when I was seeing a psychologist and couldn't even sit in his chair, he would say why don't you go get your back fixed and then we can come back and deal with your life? Yeah, so no connection.

Speaker 1: 19:09

Yeah, the work that I do with people. A lot of people say it feels like therapy, yet it's much more profound because you what they say to me is that you allow me to feel my emotions in a raw state and witness it, and don't tell me that I need to feel something different. You allow just the release of it and you don't pull away from it. You just hold the space, the space, and I think that witnessing makes a tremendous difference for anybody that I can just be in my vulnerable state without having to make meaning, without having to change it, so that I can get the data and information that it's been trying to give to me, to let me see the narrations and the scripts and the belief systems I've created within myself as a protective thing, because I think a lot of people think that you know when we're going into healing, it's about getting rid of yourselves or parts of yourself and in actuality, it's to integrate all those fragmented pieces to make yourself whole with a W, and so the parts that really irritate you and make you cringe, they have information.

Speaker 1: 20:17

Without that cringing, you wouldn't know not to do or repeat certain patterns or habits or beliefs. It wouldn't strengthen your no's for others and strengthen your yes for yourself. Yet you know that process is uncomfortable and yucky. What I would like to hear is after you did this six sessions and, as you said, you're healed A lot of people think that once you do this, all is blissful and there's no more work to do. Is there an arrival to this space and journey of life?

Speaker 2: 20:57

That's a great question and the answers were all a work in progress, continuously, and when pain was the biggest thing, that was my focus. But the minute the pain was gone, I had something else on my list, right, and the something else on my list was why am I taking pain pills when I'm not in pain? Right, this is interesting. I didn't know I had this problem and I would think, well then, just don't take it. And I was on this schedule of every four hours taking pain pills, and it would get close to the four hours and I'd be like just don't take it, it's fine, and my body would panic, I mean like I was gonna lose it. I went back to this doctor and I said okay, we have the next problem to solve. And you know what he said Give me your arm muscle testing. Right, why are you taking the pain pills? And I'm like well, clearly I'm addicted to them. He would press on my arm with the muscle test. My arm would go down. That means not no. And I thought well, I am. I don't understand. Why is my body saying no? And he'd say well, just guess again. Why are you taking them? I don't know, maybe I'm afraid to be in pain. Muscle test went weak. Nope, it's not that, jenny. Why are you taking the pain pills? I'm afraid of withdrawals. Nope, my arm went down weak on that, jenny. Why are you taking the pain pills? I don't know, dr Warren. Why am I taking the pain pills? I've run out of guesses and you know, muscle testing is the training wheels of intuition.

Speaker 2: 22:35

And so he was getting some hits. He had some ideas and he said Well, I have a guess. Do you want me to guess and we can test it? And I said sure. And he said maybe you're taking them because of a person. And I said what? I'm taking the pain pills because of a person. That makes no sense. He says well, put out your arm, let's check it. You muscle test, it tests strong. Oh, you're taking the pain pills because of a person. Interesting which person? Oh, you're taking the pain pills because of a person. Interesting which person? I'm stumped at this time. I'm so confused I have no idea. And he says well, you know, let's start with who you live with. Okay, I'm taking the pain pills because of my husband. It muscle tests strong. And I go, my husband doesn't want me to take pain pills. I don't understand. And he says well, you know, pain pills don't only numb pain, they numb emotion. How's your marriage? And I said, oh, I don't talk about my marriage, right? Oh gosh, you have more Kleenex. Dr Warren, here we go, opening the next can of worms. And so it was like that. We just kept working on different things and here's the interesting thing Some things transformed really quick, like my back pain six sessions, the pain pill addiction a couple sessions, literally when, after we said that I was taking the pain pills because of my husband, I literally never took another pain pill again from that moment forward.

Speaker 2: 24:08

Now I wish I knew the work I had known now, because I could have helped myself through that week of torment. But I was able to do it just because of the information. Now I met with Dr Warren for over 100 sessions about my marriage. Did you catch that One hundred? And guess what? At the end of the 100 sessions I said I give up. We've gone down every path, every alley, we've discovered it all, and now it's worse instead of better, because I know why things bother me and I know what's going on and I can't fix it, and I want to fix it. And now that I know the problems and I can't fix it. It's even more frustrating than not knowing the problems.

Speaker 2: 25:00

And in his infinite wisdom he said you know you might want to go learn about some processes about repatterning the subconscious mind. Maybe you need something a little different than discovery. And so I went and I learned a process over three days about repatterning the subconscious. I came home, I saw my husband and immediately I was back in love with him and I thought what is going on right now? He didn't come with me, I didn't work on my marriage.

Speaker 2: 25:36

What is happening and what I discovered was the whole reason we had so much trouble getting along was because all my past wounds, he would do something.

Speaker 2: 25:47

I would take it personally when it wasn't meant to be personal and it would hurt my feelings and all the things and it would just go down this negative cycle. As soon as I healed myself by changing limiting subconscious beliefs for three days, limiting subconscious beliefs for three days all of a sudden it wasn't like that anymore. It he was who he was and I was who I was and we were great together and if something was frustrating, it was no big deal instead of earth shattering. And so for the past. And so for the past. I'm looking at the date 10 years. It's been amazing, which is, you know, when I think back to how hard it used to be and now how easy it is because of getting rid of limiting subconscious beliefs. I became obsessed with the subconscious mind and those patterns and programs, that perception through which we see the world and how it can really mess with us and and sabotage what we're trying to create in our life.

Speaker 1: 26:54

I wanted to be happily married and I couldn't figure it out until I got my subconscious supporting what I consciously wanted yeah, when, when I work with the clients, I'm like I let them know this is going to be like a mindfuck because everything is reversed and it's not going to make sense of. Why would I cause this for myself? Yet you don't understand the addiction of patterns and habits that you've created. I can predict pain rather than predict what joy would feel like, because joy and happiness, rest and ease, peace, feel like a threat. Yet pain I can predict that and I can survive in that. I don't know how to receive. I don't know how to open up and take accountability of seeing.

Speaker 1: 27:47

It's not intentional with the subconscious, it's just once there's been a pain point and if you haven't had an opportunity to explore that, there is an insulation of the nervous system that creates this narration that we're just going to keep having this kind of feeling. That's going to loop. That's why they call it personalizing, because, okay, if I personalize it, it's a self-harm kind of thing that, oh, you did something. I'm going to just feel this state Because this emotion, I can predict it and that's all I know and that's what feels safe to me. But logically and intellectually you'll be like, no, no, I'm worthy and I'm all this and it's like nothing works in the mind. It has to be embodied. You have to feel this, you have to be in the worth and if you only stay within the mind aspect, you're not getting into the subconscious. And the subconscious is within our nervous system. And you need to feel into your nervous system and to do that you have to feel your emotions. Yet you need to feel into your nervous system and to do that you have to feel your emotions. Yet you need safety in that and you know.

Speaker 1: 28:50

I thank you for being so transparent and vulnerable and explain what the process was, and especially the 100 sessions. So recognize people. 100 sessions means a lot of investing in yourself and a lot of banging your head on the wall of why isn't this working? Yet you were committed to staying with it and you were committed of seeing something else and I thank the doctor of seeing and releasing, like I've done my part now. We're not gonna overanalyze. We understand. Like I tell people you know when you go do therapy, a lot of them will unpack. Yet what happens with the stuff that you unpack? Most times people just repack it. Keep it inside themselves where you want to be able to release that, like certain things aren't serving you anymore.

Speaker 2: 29:46

So in that, how would you say, your communication is with your husband and with yourself? Yeah, so what I learned was how to repattern my subconscious, and so I asked myself how do I want to be in conversations and open and curious instead of, you know, flaming, redhead, hot, temper, blood boiling? How dare you say that? Former me, I don't want to be like that, I never did want to be like that, I just was like that. And so open and curious is how I've programmed myself, and so when you program your subconscious, that's your go-to, that's your automatic, that's your knee-jerk reaction. So when he says something, I go. I wonder why he said that that's my automatic. Now, instead of come here so I can wring your neck what people don't realize, though, is anger is a healthy emotion.

Speaker 1: 30:40

It's a protective emotion. So when you're wanting to wring his neck, it's because the other underlying emotions don't feel safe to come up, not being able to say, like you know, with a lot of people they don't realize, to use the I statement, it's so easy to say you did this, you did this, rather than reveal I feel like this because of what there is. Yeah, when you can start doing that I statement, you can better feel your emotions and take responsibility of your inner world. Not having people make you feel safe that it's actually your responsibility for that. And to also articulate, because you will feel offended, you will feel humaning is not easy, like we don't even know how to human with ourselves. So to be in relationship and marriages, that's a difficult thing. You are going to get frustrated, you are going to get angry. They aren't going to see your perspective. Yet the biggest thing is to be able to be honest and transparent with that and not and also take responsibility.

Speaker 1: 31:41

Did you feel your emotions? Not just project and slam it on somebody because you're being reactive. It's like take some time to digest that and feel it through. Is it something that needs to be shared, that when you do certain things, it activates me to push my triggers. It activates me that I feel belittled. Can you explain a little bit more of why you do something, because my mind is filling up some gaps with some negative biases, rather than really understanding your perspective and I think that's the biggest bridge that we need to do in communication of we can create a really positive, of understanding and compassion. Yet in that, that's denying your own truth and emotions, and if you're in relation with somebody doing that, transparency is a healthy relationship also. Would you agree with that, or do you have something else that you would add to it?

Speaker 2: 32:38

Yeah. So for me, the subconscious programming that I had from what I experienced was a lot of I'm not good enough, and and so when he would, let's say, I'd say, hey, hon, will you take out the trash? And he'd say yes, and then the next day I'd notice he didn't take out the trash and the trash already came, and now we have full trash cans and they're going to be sitting there for a week. Instead of thinking, oh man, darn it, he forgot. I would think, doesn't he love me? Doesn't he keep his word? Doesn't he care enough about you know what me?

Speaker 2: 33:29

I would turn it into myself because of the pain I had inside. And so when I repatterned my subconscious mind, I just didn't feel that way anymore. So I didn't have the negative emotion. I thought, oh, he forgot, oh well, they're coming next week. It was just a whole different thought process in my mind, and so I don't have those reactions like I used to have.

Speaker 2: 33:54

I would call it like a stick of dynamite. I mean, literally that's what it felt like inside of me. He would light that thing and, oh my gosh, I would lose it, and I repatterned my subconscious to stop doing that. I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to be patient and kind and loving and accepting and understanding and I wanted to have a conversation without being so upset. You know, and it was funny, he even told me we I've done some interviews with him on YouTube just talking about our marriage, and he actually admitted live on YouTube well, maybe I didn't forget to take out the trash, maybe I was being a little passive, aggressive. I was like, oh wow, interesting, good to know. I'm glad I didn't know that back then. Right, I was just blaming it on your memory and uh, yeah, so it was really interesting. I mean, if, if I would have known that before, that would have been like literally a deal breaker you're going to leave your marriage because your husband didn't take out the trash on purpose.

Speaker 1: 35:03

Really, you know, it's a little bit underlying. It's not just that that the trash, it's that he's intentionally activating pressure points within me. So is that really somebody that, like you're making me unsafe? On top of it, like you're pushing the emotions so a lot of people would be like, oh yeah, like the superficial, yet it's looking more deeply within, that like you're really activating me and this is like depleting me. Like when we're in an angry state and frustration, it's the easiest emotion to go to, yet it drains us like so much um to like not take it personally and be seen.

Speaker 1: 35:44

It's almost like you're saying the story of what happened with my twins, cause you know, an adult is a one thing, but when it comes to your children and you're asking for things to do and it's like, oh my gosh, I can't walk away, I can't do this. Yet that repatterning your subconscious, it gives you the power of choice. How are you choosing to show up with this? Can you take a pause for a minute? Because many of us are reactive and that's why I do those mindful moments at the beginning of the podcast. Just remind ourselves like you can take a breath for a minute, just feel before the explosion and trying to, you know, before the explosion and trying to, you know, project it out and throw it like a hot potato.

Speaker 1: 36:33

Yet it's a lot of work because it's been a default for so long. Yet once you see that there's something else, it's like oh, that's like, this is so easy, why would I go there? And sometimes you do it's just you know, repetition, and then you remount and it reminds you like this isn't the state you want to be in. There's a different way that comes with ease and flow and being able to communicate directly without the emotional charges in it and everything. I want to bring you into a reflective question. I want to ask you to bring your awareness right now and go back to your 18 year old self. And if you have three words to tell your 18 year old self to carry you to the journey of right now, what would they be?

Speaker 2: 37:24

That's a lot of pressure to come up with three words.

Speaker 1: 37:29

Never comes naturally. It doesn't have to only be three words or a statement.

Speaker 2: 37:33

Yeah, I mean, the only thing that's coming to me right now is just like it's going to be okay. You're going to figure this out because I actually met my husband when I was 14,. Going to figure this out because I actually met my husband when I was 14, got engaged him at 17 and married him at 18. Okay, and so at 18, I'm married and navigating that because you know, like I told you in the beginning, my mom said I was born an adult. So when I told her I was getting married at 17, she's like of course you are, of course you are. You think you're 30 or 40, right, yeah, it was. It wasn't what I expected.

Speaker 2: 38:10

Anything, really, I do have a tendency to always expect fairy tale out of my life In all areas. I never think there could be something that doesn't work the way I expect it to, or a downside, even today, and it shocks me every time something doesn't go exactly as I thought it was going to go in the best possible way. So I think just telling myself you know that you're going to figure this out and everything's going to work out and it's going to be okay, is you know? Because I wasn't sure for a lot of years I was very unhappy and I didn't know how to fix it. And that's the most powerless place to be, when you can't find a solution and you're just kind of stuck and you don't know I need help. But the help I'm getting doesn't seem to be helping. And I read a bunch of books and I've seen a bunch of people and I I'm still in the same place and I don't know what to do. And it wasn't until I discovered my subconscious that everything changed for me.

Speaker 1: 39:16

Yeah, I really thank you for this transparency and you know honesty of what you've navigated through in the journey. I know many listeners are like and you know honesty of what you've navigated through in the journey. I know many listeners are like okay, so where do I find Jenny? What are the resources that she has to offer? I'm sure you've done alchemy where you've taken. You know the pain and you've turned that into gold and not just kept it for yourself. You're sharing it with others. So can you let the listeners know where they can find you and what you have to offer?

Speaker 2: 39:48

Yeah, of course, my main website is balancedyouorg, so if you just put Balanced you in Google, you'll find me everywhere and I do private coaching and group coaching and retreats and I have a certification course. You can learn my work. I have an app. I have wellness benefits for corporate. I have all sorts of things to help people be mentally well and specifically tap into their subconscious mind and repattern it to align with what they consciously want to create in their life.

Speaker 1: 40:20

Thank you so much. And, for the listeners, this will all be in the show notes so that you can click, because at any point in this conversation, if you felt a tingle or if you felt an aha or you felt seen in Jenny's story, that's your nervous system, your polyvagal vagus nerve, that's letting you know she has something that will open up another dimension in you. So just click and reach out to her. You saw how easy this is our first interaction, how easy it is to talk with her. So you know, just reach out to her. She may have other solutions and tools that will strengthen and deepen your transformation and your healing to thrive and empower you. So, jenny, I want to thank you for giving us the most valuable gift you have in life, which is your time, and offering the vulnerability of being transparent and sharing your story with us so that others can see that there is light within that darkness, and that light is you, within yourself. So thank you for being here with us, thank you for having me. Please remember to be kind and gentle within yourself. So thank you for being here with us, thank you for having me. Please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time.

Speaker 1: 41:41

If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation, so please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, come into a discovery call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.