That Heavy Chest Feeling? It's Your Body Begging You to Break Free

Your body doesn't lie. That tightness in your chest before their call? The knot in your stomach when they text? It's not anxiety—it's clarity.

In this raw, unfiltered episode, I reveal how I stayed trapped for years in relationships that dimmed my light—convinced that familiar discomfort was safer than the unknown. These weren't dramatic, obvious toxicity. They were the quiet kind: conditional support, subtle dismissals, and the constant reminder of who I used to be when I was trying to become who I am.

As one client confessed, "I wasn't afraid of losing them; I was afraid of finding me." Six months after setting that boundary, she launched the business she'd been dreaming of for a decade.

Your nervous system recognizes what your heart can't admit: some people were only meant to be chapters, not the entire story of your life. Freedom awaits on the other side of what you're willing to release.

Before our next episode on "Embracing Self-Trust," write a letter from your future self who has already let go. What wisdom have they found? What freedom have they claimed?

Your authentic life is waiting. Your body already knows the way.

Transform these insights into lasting change. Join the Raw Healing Course at liftooneself.com

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Toxic Relationships
• 2:36 Signs of Toxic Relationships
• 5:39 Guided Visualization Exercise
• 9:57 Your Freedom Requires Release
• 12:06 Episode Closing and Next Steps

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey, beautiful souls, it's Nat Nat, and welcome back to the Lift One Self podcast, the raw, unfiltered journey we're taking together. Last time we explored the wound of invisibility, that deep pain of not being truly seen. I was really moved when one listener shared with me the message your pain is real, whether others see it or not, was exactly what they needed to hear after years of having their feelings dismissed. That's exactly why we're here to validate these experiences that often go unacknowledged. Today, we're diving into something equally painful yet incredibly liberating Letting go of toxic relationships and learning to trust the most important relationship you'll ever have, the one with self. I'll get vulnerable with you.

Speaker 1: 1:02

For years, I found myself in friendships that felt like home, comfortable, familiar, predictable. We'd know each other since, you know, our 20s finished. Each other's sentences had all the inside jokes. Yet slowly I noticed after our coffee dates or hangouts, I'd feel this heaviness in my chest, how their subtle comments about my career choices that's a bit ambitious for you, isn't? It? Would echo in my mind. For days my body was trying to tell me something. My shoulders would tense before their calls. I'd rehearse what I wanted to say, careful not to trigger their judgment. One day I mentioned wanting to start my own podcast, and they laughed, not cruelly yet dismissively, saying you're always had these big ideas that never pan out. I smiled and changed the subject, yet that night I couldn't sleep. My stomach was in knots.

Speaker 1: 2:07

That's what these relationships do. They become so woven into your identity that your nervous system treats separation as a threat. The anxiety of imagining life without them feels like standing on the edge of a cliff. Our bodies go into fight, flight, freeze or fawn when we consider setting boundaries. I stayed there for a few more years of dimming my light, of that constant, low-grade anxiety of ignoring the wisdom of my body, screaming that something wasn't right. Why? Because my nervous system was convinced that the discomfort of staying was safer than the terror of leaving, because somewhere deep down, I believed I needed their approval to be worthy. It wasn't until I started truly listening to my body that the knot in my stomach, that heaviness in my chest that I found the courage to have that conversation. Setting that boundary was terrifying. Yet the moment I did, it felt like I could finally breathe again, like I'd been underwater for years and finally came up for air. Like I'd been underwater for years and finally came up for air.

Speaker 1: 3:29

This is what toxic relationships do. They plant seeds of doubt where your confidence should grow. They create dependency where your independence should flourish. They shrink your world when it means to expand. You know, sometimes we stay in these relationships with lovers, friends, even places because they offer something we think we need security, validation, a sense of belonging. Yet at what cost do these comforts come?

Speaker 1: 4:00

What makes a relationship toxic isn't always dramatic abuse or obvious control. Sometimes it's the subtle ways someone consistently dismisses your dreams, like when they meet your excitement with that's nice, yeah, be realistic instead of how can I support you? Makes their support conditional. They're only there for you when you're living life their way on their terms. Leaves you feeling smaller.

Speaker 1: 4:31

After interactions you notice you apologize more, doubt yourself more and share less of your authentic self. Keeps you tethered to versions of yourself you've outgrown. They remind you of your past mistakes. When you're trying to grow, saying things like you've always been this way. When you're working to change that fear of not being enough on your own. It's paralyzing, isn't it? Like we do a good enough job of putting ourselves down, especially when that inner critic comes in. We convince ourselves that imperfect love is better than no love at all, that known discomfort is safer than unknown possibility. Yet here's what I've been learning through my own raw healing journey we cannot grow into our fullest selves in soil that wasn't meant to nourish us. Let me repeat that again we cannot grow into our fullest selves in soil that wasn't meant to nourish us. So, as you hear, we're not blaming the soil. It's just that the soil isn't meant to nourish us.

Speaker 1: 5:49

Now that we've named what these relationships look like, I want to invite you to take a moment with me to feel where they might be showing up in your life. Now. Get comfortable in your seating and, if it's safe to do so, you're going to gently close your eyes, Take a deep breath in and slowly release it. Feel your shoulders drop away from your ears, place one hand on your heart. This is your anchor, your reminder that you are whole, on your own as we breathe together. I want you to imagine the relationships in your life as strings or cords. Some feel light and supportive, lifting you higher. Others feel heavy, pulling you down. Just notice them without judgment. Continue staying with your breath, feeling more ease in your body, also feeling wherever there may be tension or pain or you're tensing up.

Speaker 1: 7:10

Think of these relationships that consistently leave you feeling drained, doubtful or dismissed. Visualize the core connecting you to this person. What color is it? What texture does it have? Is it thick or thin, tight or loose? Continue staying with your breath Now. Imagine that you have the power because you do to begin loosening this cord. What would it feel like to gently release this connection? What space might open up in your life? What energy might return to you? Take one more deep breath as we hold the possibility and remember this truth your freedom lives on the other side of what you're willing to release. I'll repeat that again your freedom lives on the other side of what you're willing to release. Now, at your own time, in your own pace, you're going to gently open your eyes and, if you need to still keep your hand on your heart, listen to the wisdom of your body. Those relationships popped up in your mind for a reason. Don't deny it, don't justify it, don't explain it away. Begin feeling it within yourself.

Speaker 1: 9:12

One client that I worked on the raw healing course with at liftoneselfcom shared something that stopped me in my tracks. She had stayed in a friendship for 15 years that constantly left her feeling drained and doubting herself. During our work together, she realized I wasn't afraid of losing them. I was afraid of finding me. Six months after setting that boundary, she launched the business she'd been dreaming of for a decade. That's the work we do together in the course uncovering these truths that set us free. So I ask you, what relationship are you holding on to, out of fear rather than love? What would become possible if you trusted yourself enough to let go? What version of you is waiting on the other side of that release? Before our next episode, I invite you to join me in a simple practice Write a letter to yourself from your future self who has already let go. What wisdom would they share? What freedom have they found? If you're ready to dive deeper into this work, the raw healing course at liveoneselfcom is going to be open for enrollment soon, so go to the website, put your email in so that you can get first notice of when it's being launched.

Speaker 1: 10:54

It's where we transform these conversations into real, lasting change. And when we say change, it doesn't mean that you're not going to go back into your patterns or habits. It actually means you'll recognize them and control the parts that want to go to comfort, that are actually discomfort, and start going into what's possible and feeling the joy within you. Until next time, remember this your freedom lives on the other side of what you're willing to release. Trust that honor, that live, that. I'm Nat, nat and I'm right here with you. Stay tuned for our next episode Embracing Self-Trust and Building your Own Path, where we'll explore how to cultivate that deeper inner knowing that guides you towards creating a life that truly resonates with who you are. I can't wait to continue this journey with you and if you're willing to do that deep dive of doing that raw healing, get on the subscription list at liftoneselfcom.

Speaker 1: 12:06

Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter. Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do, and the services that I provide to people come over on my website, come into a discovery. Call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.