The Boundary Revolution: Transform Your Relationships Through Radical Self-Love

Are you exhausted from saying "yes" when you need to say "no"? This game-changing episode reveals why healthy boundaries are the ultimate form of self-love—and the missing key to deeper connections.

Millions struggle silently with boundary-setting, trapped between self-sacrifice and relationship preservation. As one listener confessed, "Sometimes it's hard because there is a lot of love and you feel like you have to explain why you're stepping away." This powerful testimony captures what so many of us experience daily.

Discover the paradigm shift that's transforming lives: boundaries aren't walls that disconnect—they're sacred gardens that allow authentic relationships to flourish. When we set boundaries from fear, we remain powerless. When we establish them from wholeness, they become profound declarations of our inherent worth.

Master the revolutionary TRUST framework that psychology experts are embracing:

• Tune into body wisdom: Recognize your physical boundary signals
• Respond from clarity: Make decisions from centeredness, not crisis
• Understand authentic emotions: Learn why real feelings often feel unfamiliar
• Separate worth from people-pleasing: Break the validation addiction
• Take ownership of evolution: Embrace the journey of boundary mastery

This episode distinguishes between protective discomfort (keeping you small) and growth discomfort (expanding your potential), revealing why emotional safety can never be outsourced—it must be created within.

Transform your relationships today: Download the comprehensive Lovind Boudary Compass and Trust Framework guide at liftoneself.com/tools or experience the life-changing Raw Healing course for deep inner work.

Join our thriving community on Instagram @liftoneself—share your boundary journey and your question might be featured in our highly-anticipated upcoming episode on trusting yourself without a roadmap!

Chapters

• 0:00 Reframing Boundaries as Self-Love
• 2:51 Boundaries vs. Attachments
• 5:12 Creating Emotional Safety Within
• 8:19 The TRUST Framework Explained
• 11:09 Personal Journey with Boundary Setting
• 14:21 Next Episode Preview and Closing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello, beautiful souls, welcome back to the Lift One Self podcast. I'm your host, nat Nat, and today we're diving into something that's been showing up in so many of your messages boundaries. After our last episode, one listener sent me a message which particularly stopped me in my tracks, I quote sometimes it's hard because there is a lot of love and you feel like you have to explain why you're stepping away. Our body tells us this relationship is no longer giving us substance. Yet we sometimes stay out of obligation in years together. That message resonated with me and I'm sure it probably resonated with you also. Yet I'm here to open up the dialogue about boundaries that they aren't walls we build to keep others out. They're gardens we tend to help ourselves bloom. Today we're reframing boundaries completely, not as rejection, yet as the ultimate act of self-love.

Speaker 1: 1:06

When you hear the word boundaries, what comes up for you? For many of us, there's this subtle guilt, right Like we're being selfish or pushing people away. Yet here's what changed everything. For me, boundaries aren't about others at all. They're love letters to yourself. They're you saying I matter enough to protect my peace. Have you ever noticed how sometimes it's easier to choose anger and walk away than to feel the love that's still there while honoring your boundaries. That's because vulnerability is terrifying. It's much simpler to slam a door than to leave it cracked open while saying I need some air.

Speaker 1: 1:51

One client that helped me with the raw healing course shared I spent years trying to make myself small enough to fit into relationships that weren't built for who I was becoming. Setting boundaries wasn't about pushing others away. It was about making room for myself to expand. When I asked why she keeps showing up, she said I feel like I owe it to her because of our history. Does that resonate this idea that time invested equals obligation to continue? We're taught that love means always being available, that being a good person means putting others first, that needing space makes us difficult. One of my spiritual teachers and author and book that I continuously go back to is Michael Singer, who wrote the Untethered Soul. I highly suggest you go get the book.

Speaker 1: 2:52

He indicates we don't have needs. This isn't suggesting we don't have genuine requirements for well-being, like respect and safety. What he's pointing out, too, is how we often mistake our attachments to specific outcomes for actual needs. For example, needing respect is valid, yet demanding that someone must text back within an hour to prove they respect you. That's an attachment disguised as a need. When we confuse the two, our boundaries serve our insecurities rather than our growth. Let me illustrate this difference. An authentic requirement might be I need open communication in my relationships. When expressed healthily, this becomes I'd appreciate a text if you're running more than 30 minutes late, yet when it's coming from an attachment, it might sound like you need to respond to my message within an hour, or I assume you don't care about me.

Speaker 1: 4:00

The first creates space for your genuine well-being. The second attempts to control someone else's behavior, to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions. True boundaries honor our authentic requirements without demanding others manage our emotional experience. When we set boundaries from that place of attachment I need you to treat me better or I'm not okay we're actually giving our power away. We're making our peace dependent on someone else's behavior.

Speaker 1: 4:33

Yet let's go deeper for a moment. What's really happening when we place our emotional well-being in someone else's hands like this? In simple terms, we're avoiding feeling our emotions because somewhere along the way we learned it wasn't safe to feel them fully in our bodies. We also probably learned that it wasn't safe to verbally express them to others. Instead of turning inward, we grasp outward, trying to control how others behave so we don't have to face what's happening inside us. Think about that.

Speaker 1: 5:15

How often have you found yourself saying if only they would change, then I could feel better? I catch myself doing this sometimes too. It's so human, especially as a parent. How many of us say that if our children would only show up this way, I would be better? Yet here's the beautiful, challenging truth Creating safety for our emotions is an inside job. No one else can do it for us.

Speaker 1: 5:44

When we learn to create that internal container to say I can be with this discomfort, I can hold this fear, I can witness this anger without being overwhelmed, something magical happens. Our boundaries transform. They're no longer desperate attempts to control others so we can feel okay. They become clear, calm declarations of what works for us, spoken from a place of wholeness rather than lack. One practice that changed everything for me was simply placing a hand on my heart when difficult emotions arised and whispering I'm here with you, I'm listening. Just that small act of turning toward what I was feeling rather than immediately trying to fix it outside myself. It rewired something fundamental in how I relate to others. True boundaries come from abundance, from knowing you are already whole. They're not desperate pleas. They're calm declarations of your worth. They say I know who I am and this is how I choose to be treated.

Speaker 1: 7:04

Let's share a quick, mindful moment together, if it's safe to do so. Gently close your eyes and notice your breath. Notice what sensations arise when you think of a relationship where boundaries feel difficult. There's probably a lot of feelings or sensations coming up in this thought. It's okay, let them come up. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go. Just observe, without immediately labeling them as good or bad. As you breathe in, say to yourself I listen with curiosity as you breathe out. Say to yourself I discern with wisdom. Continue taking a few more breaths. I discern with wisdom. Continue taking a few more breaths, stating those statements to yourself and when you're ready, you're going to gently open your eyes while staying with your breath.

Speaker 1: 8:19

Now, what does it look like to create boundaries from self-understanding rather than fear? I've created a framework I call trust. Now let me break that down for you. T tune into your body's signals with discernment, that knot in your stomach when someone texts. It's information, not necessarily a command to avoid. Ask yourself is this discomfort protecting me from harm or protecting me from growth. R respond from clarity, not crisis.

Speaker 1: 8:59

The best boundaries aren't set in moments of overwhelm. Take time to ask what do I value? What am I actually feeling beneath my initial reaction? U Understand that authentic emotions may feel unfamiliar. When you start setting boundaries, you might not fully trust your emotional response because they're new territories. After years of people-pleasing S Separate worth from people-pleasing, your value has never been determined by how available you make yourself to others. Real love expands with healthy boundaries and T take ownership of your evolution. Your boundaries will change as you grow. The boundaries you need today might be different from what you needed yesterday or what you'll need this evening, and that's perfectly okay.

Speaker 1: 10:07

Let me share something deeply personal. For years, I ignored my body's signals and pushed through discomfort. I'd say yes to others when I was depleted, smile through the exhaustion, yet crash for days after. What I didn't realize was how serious this disconnection from my body would become. Eventually, I was diagnosed with brain lesions and given six months to live. The doctors couldn't even name what was happening. They just knew my body was in crisis. That experience taught me something profound when we consistently override our body's wisdom and avoid our authentic emotions because we don't feel safe expressing our needs. Our bodies sometimes have to scream louder to be heard. One day after my recovery, I finally honored that knot in my stomach and said I need this weekend to rest and I'd love to connect next week when I can be fully present. And you know what happened A simple take care of yourself. We'll be here when you're ready. Here's where discernment matters. That same knot shows up when I need to have difficult conversations that help me grow.

Speaker 1: 11:29

The trauma I experienced as a child has separated me from recognizing the difference between protective discomfort and growth discomfort. The key is developing a relationship with your feelings when you can distinguish between. This hurts because it's wrong for me and this is uncomfortable because I'm growing. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is release connections that no longer serve either person's growth, and other times it's staying present through discomfort. As we build more authentic connections, the key is to being able to communicate. When someone repeatedly crosses our boundaries despite clear communication, try this language. I've noticed this pattern happening several times. I value our relationship and I need to step back when this occurs. I'm open to reconnecting when we can address this pattern together.

Speaker 1: 12:35

I've created a resource called the Trust Framework for Loving Boundaries, with journaling prompts to help you distinguish between different types of discomfort. Download this free guide at liftoneselfcom. Forward slash boundaries. If you're ready to dive deeper. The raw healing course is open. Put your email address so that you can get more details. Go to liftoneselfcom. Forward slash raw healing. Remember, true boundaries aren't rigid rules. They're flexible containers that help us show up authentically in each moment and learn how to be in relationship with ourselves and others.

Speaker 1: 13:20

Before we wrap up today, I want to invite you to join me for our next episode, where we'll be taking this journey even deeper. We've talked about how boundaries are really about trusting ourselves enough to honor what we feel. Yet what does that trust actually look like in practice? How do we distinguish between the voice of fear and the voice of intuition? How do we create our own authentic path when there's so much noise telling us who we should be? Next episode, we'll explore the art of trusting ourselves creating our path when there's no roadmap. Trusting ourselves, creating our path when there's no roadmap. I'll be sharing some powerful practices that have helped me and my clients move from second-guessing ourselves to standing firmly in our own wisdom, even when that wisdom doesn't look like anyone else's, and I'd love to hear from you what's one situation where you struggle to trust yourself? What's one situation where you struggle to trust yourself? Share your thoughts on our Instagram at liftoneself, or send me a voice message in our DMs. Your question and experiences might just be featured in our next conversation. Help the community grow. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter. Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time.

Speaker 1: 14:48

If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media, on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, come into a discovery, call LiftOneSelfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.