The Art of Rest: Why Pausing Isn’t Quitting

Quitting silences the dream. Pausing and pivoting refine it. In this raw and powerful conversation, clarity coach and entrepreneur Dominiece Clifton joins NatNat on the Lift OneSelf Podcast to unpack the emotional toll of burnout, the courage to pause without guilt, and the sacred difference between avoidance and true rest.

After three successful years of podcasting, Dominiece made the bold decision to pause her show—not out of failure, but to honor her nervous system, her role as a single mother, and her deeper alignment. In this episode, we explore:

• 🔥 How to tell the difference between burnout, freeze response, and soul-led rest
• 🔄 Why pivoting isn’t quitting—and how to reframe failure as feedback
• 💡 The nervous system signals that whisper before they scream
• ✨ The power of self-awareness and soul care routines for entrepreneurs and empaths
• 🤍 The hidden cost of people-pleasing, productivity culture, and performing strength

Whether you're an entrepreneur, healer, or heart-led human navigating transitions, this episode is a grounding permission slip to pause, reflect, and reconnect with your inner compass.

Connect with Dominiece here:

https://domrclifton.com

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Pausing vs Quitting
• 8:55 Mindful Moment Meditation
• 12:10 Dominique's Decision to Pause Her Podcast
• 21:45 Recognizing Body Signals for Rest
• 31:25 Avoidance vs. Rest: Understanding the Difference
• 37:40 Redefining Our Relationship with Failure
• 44:10 Future Vision and Words of Wisdom
• 57:50 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 0:00

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there. We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself. Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast. I'm your host, nat Nat, and I have a guest that we had back in January, and she is back. Dominique Clifton is here and we are going to talk about pausing and how challenging that can be. And just because we pause, it doesn't mean to quit. It just means allowing yourself to get rested, rejuvenated, so you can come back with fresh energy. So, dominique, some may not have heard our last podcast, so could you introduce yourself to the listeners please?

Dominiece Clifton: 1:12

Yes. So, natalie, thank you first for having me again. I'm excited to be here. Our first conversation was so beautiful, so I know that this one will also be just as beautiful energy.

Dominiece Clifton: 1:22

So I'm Dominique Clifton. I am a clarity coach and a business strategist, and I help women entrepreneurs and nonprofit founders gain the clarity and confidence they need to birth the visions that spirit has entrusted to them and either to launch a business or an organization or to grow their existing business or organization, and I love the work that I do so much. I am all about helping women to find clarity, and so I focus on three things. I say I focus on helping women find clarity on the you, the who and the how. The you is important because it's who we are as business, who we are as people, and then we bring that to our businesses right.

Dominiece Clifton: 2:03

Like so much of who we are, so much of our soul's blueprint goes into the businesses and organizations that we create, and so I help clients get really clear on that. The who is about getting crystal clear on your ideal client, what their pain points are, what their needs are, and then, of course, from there you think about the how. What transformative solution do you want to offer that feels authentic and aligned to you but also supports and serves your desired audience in a way that's impactful. And yeah, that's a little bit about me. I guess we'll jump more into the self-care piece once we start talking, but that's just a little bit about who I am as I enter today's conversation.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 2:39

So I'm going to bring a raw, vulnerable part. You are so lit up when you speak about this. Yet before we started recording, we both acknowledged that we are fatigued this morning and a little tired. Yet when you're in your passion, there's an energy that just carries you, that you're like it's not forced, it's not fabricated, it's just in alignment of carrying you. So I just wanted to let the listeners hear some of that insight and that honesty, because we don't yeah it's important.

Dominiece Clifton: 3:15

You know, I think that that goes into why I'm so passionate about the work that I do, because I've been on the side of doing something and not being lit up about it, and I saw how that drained my energy and depleted me, and I was always burned out. And so I am so passionate about helping women to pivot, if necessary, and realign themselves to find the thing that really lights them up, because, especially as entrepreneurs, this work is hard. It's not an easy journey, and so when you are doing something and it doesn't necessarily, I say, set your soul on fire it is even harder, right? So it's important for us to make sure that we're in alignment with the way that our soul wants to show up, because we do naturally have energy from doing those things.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 3:58

So before we get into the conversation, will you join me in a mindful moment? Actually support that pause yes, I love that for the listeners.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 4:09

As you always hear, safety first. Uh, please don't close your eyes if you're driving or need your visual safety, and yet everything else you're able to follow in the prompts. So, dominice, I'll ask you to get comfortable in your seating and, and if it's safe to do so, you're going to gently close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose. You're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath. You're not going to try and control it, you're just going to allow it to be in its natural state, guiding you into your body, to be in its natural state, guiding you into your body. There may be some sensations or feelings coming up. That's okay, let them come up. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go, surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be, be with your breath, drop deeper into your body.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 5:21

Now there may be thoughts or to-do lists that have popped up, and that's okay. That's the mind working. Yet, gently, bring your awareness back to your breath, creating space between the awareness and the thoughts and dropping deeper into your body, being in the space of being. Again, that mind may have brought you into some thoughts because it wants to do some doing and make meaning. Gently bring your awareness back to your breath, beginning again, creating even more space between the awareness and the thoughts and completely dropping into the body, into presence, into being. Now taking a few more breaths. Now, at your own time and at your own pace, you're going to gently open your eyes while staying with your breath. Thank you, thank you. How's your heart doing?

Dominiece Clifton: 6:58

really good today. Really good today. I didn't meditate this morning, I decided to sleep in. I usually wake up early and meditate, and so, just you know, this one or two minutes of pausing to drop in feels so good, and I'm used to holding space for others. I'm not always used to having people to hold space for me, and so I appreciate those moments a lot more. So, thank you so much. I feel great yeah.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 7:23

Yeah, thank you. I totally understand how that feels of always leading, yet would like to be led and just surrender all that space holding to just be with caring for yourself. So I, when we did the podcast, you had invited me to come onto your podcast and it took me a while to schedule in. So I missed out because when you looked at my request, you indicated that you were pausing the podcast right now. So that was a powerful choice you made and to honor your own transition of you know, personal and business, wise and wellbeing.

Dominiece Clifton: 8:14

So can you share what that decision taught you about yourself? Yeah, it wasn't an easy decision. I started my podcast three years ago now actually around this time three years ago in 2022. And I always the story behind my podcast is so interesting because I guess, for about I don't know, six or seven years now, I've been an avid podcast listener and I love Audible books, so I take in information audibly and so podcasts have just been my jam. But I never really wanted to start my own.

Dominiece Clifton: 8:38

And then one day, in I would say January or February of 2022, I was going through yoga teacher training. So there was lots of meditation and restorative yoga and things of that nature. There were lots of moments to be grounded and in stillness. And one day I remember I was in a restorative yoga position I think it was like a reclined butterfly and I heard the podcast name. My podcast is called the School of Healing, so the name came to me and the premise for the podcast came to me. And I heard the podcast name. My podcast is called the School of Healing, so the name came to me and the premise for the podcast came to me, and I remember jumping out of that meditation grabbing the journal that was next to me and trying to frantically catch everything that spirit was delivering to me in that download. And then, once I got a page or two filled, I stopped right. The download stopped coming and I looked at it and I was like, all right, I guess I'm starting a podcast. And I immediately, like, decided to be obedient to how I was being guided and I started the podcast and I didn't know anything about what it took to start a podcast at that time, so it was going to Google and YouTube university and like teaching myself all of these things and there was a learning curve. But I have loved having my podcast so much. I enjoy having conversations like this and learning other people's stories and I have a naturally curious brain and so it lends well to being a podcast host and being able to ask people questions and learn about their lives, and so I share all that.

Dominiece Clifton: 9:58

To say that, although I never planned to start a podcast, it's been such a joy to have it over these last three years, but I know that you can relate to it also is a lot of work, right? Especially when you have a podcast that's not yet generating income for you, like some of the larger podcast platforms are. So it's a labor of love, it's something that you are doing, that's a hobby, something that you're interested in, but there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes in producing an episode and getting all the graphics and things out, and so there have been times over the last three years where I've done everything myself. And then there have been times where maybe I got grant funding or some additional funding and I've been able to hire a few people to help me. It just kind of has depended on the season and where I've been financially as an entrepreneur and in December of 24, I decided to let go of the people that I had helping me just because, financially, I'm investing in a business coach, and so I decided to like invest in a different place. So I've been doing the podcast by myself for the last like four months and it's been a lot of work in addition to full-time entrepreneurship and managing two businesses and being a mom.

Dominiece Clifton: 11:10

And when I reached out to you, I had very recently made the tough decision to say you know what in this season that I'm in right now, which is a season of stepping into dualpreneurship, where I'm searching for full-time nine to five jobs, but also very much so still planning to be an entrepreneur because, like we said at the start of the episode, I love the work so much and it truly lights me up and I'm passionate about it. So I'm not quitting on the goal. It's just recognizing that I need more consistent income as a single mom, right, like I need to know that, regardless of how business is today or tomorrow, like my basics are covered and that's what a full-time job allows for me. So I made the decision to start job hunting and recognizing that, you know, in this season you can give yourself permission to pause on something, even if you love it right, even if it lights you up, and to come back to it later.

Dominiece Clifton: 12:06

I think a lot of times we feel like if we pause or if we pivot, we're quitting, and so people typically shy away from doing that and we stay with things that maybe we've outgrown or maybe the season for that has expired for right now.

Dominiece Clifton: 12:21

That's not to say that you can't step back into it later, but I'm learning that. It's not to say that you can't step back into it later, but I'm learning that it's okay to pause, right, it's okay to pause. It doesn't mean that you're quitting. It's okay to pivot if you are feeling called to pivot, and that doesn't mean that you're quitting either, and so for me, it was a tough decision again to pause on something that I love, but I feel very adamant about this season that I'm in recognizing that I can't do all the things and be all the things, and so the podcast is easily something that I can come back to and pick up when I have a greater capacity, and I feel like I put so much out in the last three years that people can still tap into and utilize while I am pausing. And so, yeah, that's how we got here today to have this conversation.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 13:09

What were the body cues that were signaling to you to pause?

Dominiece Clifton: 13:19

I think the first thing is like recognizing that you are a spiritual being, having a human existence, and there's only so many hours in the day in this like human world, right, it's like if I have a long to-do list of things and I'm trying to get everything done and at the end of every single day I'm, you know, feeling tired and fatigued because I've tried to cram so much and then do so much. For me, it was stepping away and being like what are the non-negotiables that have to be done in this season? For me, right now, that's looking for jobs, which is a full-time job in itself, especially in our current political climate where so many people are being laid off and lots of folks are looking for jobs. So it was recognizing that that's a priority for me in this season. It was recognizing you also still have clients that you have to serve at a high level, and that is important for me in this season. And so finishing each day feeling like I just won, just ran a half marathon.

Dominiece Clifton: 14:19

Right, I'm a projector when it comes to human design and so I don't have a huge energy capacity like some people, like the generators of the world, so it doesn't take much for me to burn out and because I know that I usually have to be very mindful of my energetic capacity and what I'm putting out.

Dominiece Clifton: 14:38

So when I start to feel myself going multiple days where I'm finishing the day feeling fatigued or I'm feeling exhausted and I'm mentally exhausted, I'm finishing the day feeling fatigued or feeling exhausted and you know I'm mentally exhausted, I'm physically exhausted that's when I have to pause and take a step back and really honor what my body is telling me, which is, yes, you are very ambitious and you have a strong work ethic, but, dom, you are also human, right, and you cannot, despite what you tell yourself.

Dominiece Clifton: 15:04

Sometimes you can't do all the things, and that's okay. And so I made a decision to say what for me is important in this season for business and what for me is important in this season as a mother, right, as a friend, as someone who committed to having more joy in 2025. And again, what is it that is in your life that you can maybe pause on and come back to at a later time when it makes more sense? So the bodily cues were having enough self-awareness to know that my body was communicating. This is a lot and making the conscious decision to decide what can I take off of my plate right now in the season and then pick up at a later time?

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 15:43

Were you noticing anything in your relationships that was spilling over? Because of being so overcapacitated and I'm hearing a bit of the fear of finance, so anytime that major need is getting touched on, that overwhelms us and can spiral us out so it impacts those that are close to us. So were there anything? Were there things in these relationships that showed something?

Dominiece Clifton: 16:18

I will say that I was at a point in at the end of 23, end of 22, going into 23, where I had gotten so stressed about finances. It was like, as entrepreneurs we oftentimes more, you know, in the earlier stages of business go through what I call feast or famine seasons, where feast is like there's so much money coming in and contracts and new clients and you know there's a surplus and influx of income and usually in those seasons we make more and we spend more. Right, I didn't do a good job during those earlier years of like, when I was in feast season, putting money aside for the famine seasons. And so I remember at the end of 22, going into 23, it was a slower season, it was Q4, which for a lot of businesses things tend to slow down because people are shifting their priorities to holiday shopping and things of that nature. And I was so in a scarcity mindset and afraid about my survival and being a mom and taking care of my daughters on my own financially that I literally stressed and worried so much that I sent myself into a depression that took me over a year to get out. I had to go to therapy, I had to get on antidepressants, Like it was really bad.

Dominiece Clifton: 17:25

That low point for me was a I am never going back here again. And so, even when now I have moments where it's like money is feeling like you know I could use more, I don't let myself stress and worry in the way that I used to. And so there's this, there's this. I was just talking to someone yesterday Like sometimes we have such low moments that when you have a moment that feels similar, it's like there's this inner wisdom of I've been here before. I've survived this before. Let me pause and check the receipts right. Like God has had my back in the past and there were times that were worse than this, when I didn't think I was going to make it through. So like I can figure this out. I survived that. I can figure this out.

Dominiece Clifton: 18:05

So financially, I am thankfully not in a place where I'm like stressed, overwhelmed and worried about money, but as a responsible adult, I recognize like I do need, you know, a bit more consistency because I'm on my own. So I will say like the financial piece hasn't been a huge barrier for me. Thankfully, the working and being on the weeks where I'm a mom, like finishing my day and feeling so tired because I have tried to stretch and do so many things and then recognizing that I don't have the capacity that I desire to have as a mom, right when it's like I get my children after school and like all I want to do is sit down or all I want to do is lay down, and it's like there's my physical body saying you need to rest, but there's my mental body saying no, I want to show up and be a mom and, you know, hang out with my kids and do fun things and, now that the weather's starting to break, take them outside and go for walks and all of those things. And so I think, to answer the question, there wasn't the financial pressure of it, there was me having enough self-awareness to know that I have a certain intention, that I desire to show up, as in motherhood, and recognizing that, especially on the weeks where I'm a mom, I just didn't have the physical capacity to show up in that way.

Dominiece Clifton: 19:20

And so, again, taking a step back and asking myself what are the non-negotiables in this season? And then, what are the things that you can pause on? And the podcast and a few other things are things that I decided to pause on in the season, but making the decision was tough, like reaching out to guests and saying, hey, you know like that's also vulnerable too, I'm making a decision to pause, but it was knowing that it was the best decision for me, regardless of what other people thought. I am right now reading this book that I highly suggest, or listening to this book that I highly suggest, called Let them by Mel Robbins. It's really have you read it.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 19:57

I read some of it.

Dominiece Clifton: 19:58

It's good and it's been helping me in so many ways, especially as an entrepreneur, because a lot of times we're so concerned about other people and what are they going to think if I post this thing? Or what are they going to think if I, you know, say this thing or offer and create this new thing? And that book has been so empowering because it's like let them right. If I reach out to someone and say, hey, I'm pausing, whatever they think, let them think that, let me make the decision that's best for me, my family right, like my business, and let people think what they're going to think.

Dominiece Clifton: 20:26

And a lot of times we make up and conjure these stories in our heads and then you have people like you who are like I respect that decision so much, are you willing to come talk about it? Whereas my brain was like, oh, people are going to judge you and they're going to think you're a quitter and all of these things that are not true. And so I know that was a really long answer, but I think the first part of that is having enough self-awareness to know your own body, right, because our bodies communicate to us different. And then the second part is whatever decision you make, make it for you and let people think what they're going to think, right.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 20:57

You know, to give some information for people. When we're so concerned about what others are thinking, it's that our nervous system's looking for safety Because we've been looking for validation outwardly for so long that we don't even know how to practice the validation within and be in our worth. So that's why the mind will go looping and wondering what are they going to think, and it's also trying to control other people's emotional thermostats. We don't want it can feel daunting when the mind's like but what, what, what? It's taking a moment to pause and ask you know, what are you trying to protect by going outwardly? What's internally that you're afraid to? You know, reveal and let show up in its raw state. But it feels so intimidating. It's not fun to go through the I call it warrior work because it's a real thing and it can be debilitating for some people.

Dominiece Clifton: 22:13

And I think I used to. I used to be someone who, like, walked through life wearing a mask and caring so much about what other people thought about me. And I like remember a couple of years ago, three to five years ago, being at a point where I would essentially put on a show right, I would put on my cape, I would put on my mask and I would go out into the world and like show up as this high performing version of myself and I'm okay. And, like you know, internally there's so much self-doubt, there's so much shame, there's so much guilt, and I was so at that time, like worried about the opinions of other people and validation from other people. And I'm really grateful that through therapy you know somatic practices, a consistent, just meditation and mindfulness practices, practice that I've been able to move away and release a lot of that. But yeah, it is. I mean, we're still human, right, like you do, even though now I don't. I feel like I'm showing up as myself and I'm not wearing a mask anymore and like it feels good to just put myself out and and be this version of myself. There are still times as a human where you care about what people think, even when you don't want to right, and so I just want to name that. I think that's a normal part of being human, no matter how much work that we've done, and it's recognizing that, even though there's a part of me that is concerned about what other people are thinking, I am still going to make the best decision for me. I'm going to let them think what they need to think and I'm going to make the best decision for my family right For my business, for my life, for my, for my mental health, and let the cards fall however they may.

Dominiece Clifton: 23:47

And that's not always an easy decision to make. It can be, especially if you are someone who's used to people pleasing and used to seeking external validation. It can feel like you're shaking your whole world by doing those, making those sorts of decisions. But it's also very freeing and it's also very affirming when people like you respond back, and, honestly, most of the people that responded back had nothing but positive things to say.

Dominiece Clifton: 24:09

There were people who were like come back on the show and talk like you. And then there were other people that are like yes, this is a lot of work. I understand and I've been in those places. Kudos to you for again respecting yourself and having the mindfulness to know that you need that pause. And so a lot of times, the stories that we conjure up in our heads about like worst case scenario, they don't even usually happen. So there's also that in pausing, it's like there may be one or two people you know, if you make a tough decision that impacts other people that might not agree, but most people are going to understand right this. This human experience and all of us are so full and holding so many things and most people are going to be supportive. And so I think, even just knowing that, and whatever decision you're making, whether it's a pause or pivot um 98% of the people are going to be rooting for you to win.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 24:55

Yeah, you see, um, unfortunately, some people have in their mind that once you're doing the healing, you're healed and nothing will pop up again and it's like I know. That's why you talk about a practice and you build tools so when it gets activated, you know not to get identified and swallowed up by it. The main thing about healing is that many people think that they're the nervous system. It takes the work to separate themselves, to disidentify themselves. They think they're their emotions and they're their thoughts. Nobody's ever brought them into awareness and consciousness to see that there's a space Between stimulus and response. There's that space. Yet if you are had trauma or experiences, there's the defense mechanisms that block you from going in there. And when you try to go in there, viscerally, your body gets activated.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 25:51

So, like you said, you know and I can relate to that pause or validation that it starts to signal and it's like, oh my gosh, it's happening again, and then it's using the tools of no, no, like I understand, you're looking for safety. Yet we're safe to give ourselves permission, we're safe to take charge of what our story is and we can always pivot. It's not set in stone. But that's the work to be able to acknowledge that to yourself, not prove it to other people.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 26:22

Hold that vulnerable space of it's messy, it's uncomfortable and it can be a little tedious at times, because you're like why is this narration still coming up? And it's like well, life is lifing, this is like surfing You're not always going to be on the surfboard, you're going to fall off, you have to get back on and you have to surf and this is all part of the journey. However, a lot of people think, with the healing, everything's going to be perfect, everything's going to, I'm going to have it all together and it's like well, that's because you want safety consistently and that's not what living in this world is.

Dominiece Clifton: 26:56

Yeah, yeah, I agree with everything that you said and I think two things become important. I think and we've talked a lot about this today is having a level of self-awareness to understand when your triggers are being activated or when you are being activated, Having enough self-awareness to understand right the moments where you may need to pause or pivot right. Like you asked, how was your body communicating to you? And over the years I used to be I joke and say I was the queen of burnout, Like I lived in burnout land for most of my adult life up until about five years ago, and it was a part of that was because I was disconnected from my body because of past trauma, and so I didn't, I didn't understand, I wasn't, I would say, tuned in with my body enough to know the ways that my body was communicating to me when she needed a break, and so I would just like push past all the signals I would, you know, push through and ignore the ways that my body was communicating to me, and it would take me to get to the point of burnout to be like, oh shit, I need to take a break. So I've gotten much better with recognizing the whispers before they turn into, like the loud yell or the breakup side of the head. So I think that when we are talking about life and just you know, navigating, holding a lot of things like, the first thing that I always educate people or ask people not even educate people on is like, how does your body communicate to you? Because that looks different for each of us. Right, we may have some things in common when we feel tired and burned out or overwhelmed, but it could also be very different from person to person. And I'm always amazed, when I host workshops, the ways that people like say right, this is how my body feels when it's overwhelmed or stressed or I'm nearing the point of burnout. So you have to have a level of self-awareness with you know, whatever season you're in in your life, to know how your body communicates to you.

Dominiece Clifton: 28:44

And then I think the second part of the conversation that is important is having practices and tools that you consistently practice. There is this because we ignore our bodies. Usually we get to the point of being exhausted and burned out and then we decide, oh, let me do something to get myself out of this place. But I always teach people that you should take a proactive approach versus a reactive approach. Being reactive is waiting until you're burned out to do something. Being proactive is recognizing that there's little small steps and practices that you can take every day consistently so you don't get to that place, and I think that that also becomes a really important part of regulating your nervous system right, Like if you do small things every day, then usually it helps the nervous system not to get so kicked up and agitated all the time, and so I just want to offer, as a somatic practitioner, what it looks like, what some of those practices you know might look like. So physical movement is the most efficient way, I would say, to help the body and to calm the nervous system and to release stress, but also just practices that build more mindfulness.

Dominiece Clifton: 29:47

You talked about having that moment to pause before making a decision, or having that moment to recognize the thoughts before making the decision, to give in to the thoughts. So mindfulness becomes a really important practice to cultivate, and we do that with meditation and breath work. Right, we started the episode that way Getting outside in nature. I found that to be really helpful, Some sort of expressive practice that allows you to release the thought. So for me sometimes that's journaling. Recently I restarted therapy so I can be talking to someone that you trust, whether it's a loved one or a professional.

Dominiece Clifton: 30:21

I would say one that's really overrated is laughter, right, Like laughing and allowing yourself to feel the joy that life has to offer you is really beautiful.

Dominiece Clifton: 30:31

And then the last one that I'll, or last two that I'll say, is crying right, Like, sometimes crying and allowing yourself to release what is coming up is such a beautiful way to regulate, reset the nervous system, right, Like help yourself to release what is coming up is such a beautiful way to regulate, reset the nervous system, right, Like help yourself to release that stress and overwhelm.

Dominiece Clifton: 30:46

And then creative expression. And that looks different for each of us, but anything that allows you to take the energy, the emotions that you're feeling in your mind, your body, your heart and then channel them into something else. That might be listening to music, that might be making music, that might be creating you know, painting or drawing, like whatever that is for you. But having you know a few practices that are a part of your what I call soul care routine that you tap into often becomes so important because it helps you to build your resistance over time. Right, it helps you to become more mindful over time, and then it eliminates some of the burnout and the crashing and the overwhelm that we usually find ourselves in when we're trying to manage and hold so many things.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 31:27

So you speak so beautifully about soul care and you've been speaking a bit about boundaries. So how do you know the difference between avoidance and the rest?

Dominiece Clifton: 31:38

Ooh, that's a good question. How do I know the difference between avoidance and rest? What's coming up for me right now is the energy behind it, right, like the energy behind avoidance or the energy behind whatever it is. I'm trying to make sense of this. So, when I am avoiding things, there is usually some underlying fear or some thought in my head about. You know, most of the time it's fear related putting myself out there or doing this thing, so it causes me to avoid and to procrastinate and to spend time on other things that maybe are not as important or are not moving the needle, and that's something that I talk about a lot, because, as entrepreneurs, we can get stuck in a cycle of avoidance and perfection and not doing the things that we need to do. So I keep saying this but you have to build a level of self-awareness, and sometimes we can't do that on our own. Sometimes it takes for us to go to therapy or to have a coach who can hold up a mirror and illuminate to you the activities and the ways that you're showing up. Right Like this isn't because you didn't have time, this was because you were avoiding that, because you were afraid. Right, like. Those are two different things. So I think it's important to either be able to see that for ourselves and call ourselves out on that and hold ourselves accountable, or have people in your life family members, friends, professionals, coaches who can help you right when you are in that space of avoidance and not doing the thing that your soul is desiring to do to help you grow and evolve.

Dominiece Clifton: 33:12

Rest for me usually doesn't come with like underlying feelings of fear, self-doubt, guilt, right, it's just recognizing that my body is tired and then giving myself permission to honor that.

Dominiece Clifton: 33:26

So I would say the mindset and thoughts whether it's avoidance or just hey, you need to slow down and take a moment of rest are usually different. The energy behind avoidance often makes me feel icky and it makes me feel fear and it makes me feel all of these things that I have to sit and process through, whereas usually when I'm feeling like I need to rest, I'm just feeling tired, right, I'm just feeling like I've done a lot or I've been doing a lot and I need to pause and slow down, but there's no like thoughts ruminating in my head that are kind of keeping me stuck in a place. And that might be different for other people, but I would say. For me, I can usually tell the difference behind the energy of the thoughts that I'm having, whether it's me trying to avoid something because I'm afraid to do it, or it's my body genuinely just being like I want to do this thing, but right now, in this moment, I need a break, and then we can go back to this thing.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 34:15

Yeah, I bring this up because we're talking about, you know, the fatigue and the rest. And what people may not realize is that when you're in freeze and fawn state, your energy is very low so you feel very depleted. And especially if you're going to dismantle belief systems, you're going to tell people no so you can give yourself a yes. There will be a fatigue in that because you're rew. Tell people no so you can give yourself a yes. There will be a fatigue in that because you're rewiring your nervous system. So some people think it's oh, this must be burnout, where it's like no, your nervous system's trying to ramp up to protect you because it doesn't think that you can go into this unknown, uncertain space of your authenticity. So I just want to highlight that because it's not you know, everybody wants it linear and straight cut and it's like, like you said, you have to be able to have the awareness and call it out. It doesn't mean, it doesn't say that you're not fatigued, it doesn't say that you're not feeling burnout. It's finding out the underlying of where is this energy coming from. Like we both said when we started the podcast, I'm feeling fatigued. And then I could name it.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 35:29

I started my first workshop. It was the first time that I was in high energy. I was working, didn't go to sleep, so I could acknowledge that Past couple of weeks I've had to do car shopping I was bed rotting because I didn't want to make that financial decision and really a lot of stuff going on. Yet I still had to step into it little by little, while observing, like you're in fear, yet not berating myself, meeting my body where it is and understanding. Past experiences have been really painful and really daunting and it's like are you sure you're making the most optimal choice for yourself and not just out of scarcity and grabbing something?

Dominiece Clifton: 36:12

I think that's so, I think that's so beautiful and I, you said earlier, like we feel like we get to this place where, when we're healed, things don't come up, and I'm like that's such a myth. When we're healed, things don't come up and I'm like that's such a myth, it's such I don't know, can I say bullshit, because we like there is this perception of reaching right this place, this promised land, this version of ourselves, where we don't have any of the old wounds being activated, and it's like. No, like healing is about the consistency of the practice and really just recognizing that you are building emotional resistance, like that's what healing is right. You're building a deeper relationship with yourself. You are becoming more aware of you know when you do have those, those activators and those triggers, and you're able to spot them.

Dominiece Clifton: 36:57

It's not to say that they're not going to happen, and so I think for most people it's giving yourself more grace, right, more compassion. It's not about perfection. It's not about reaching this place where you don't have these experiences anymore, or you're never going to be activated, or you're never going to have an outburst, or you're never going to feel afraid. It's about recognizing that you can have a greater capacity to deal with those things when they come up, because they're going to come up. That's a part of the human experience. That's why we said yes to being here.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 37:25

So so many people listening right now are navigating their own burnout or overwhelm, or they're wanting to shift their purpose. So what would you say to someone who feels like they're failing because they had to hit pause?

Dominiece Clifton: 37:42

That's a good question. Um, I think two things. I think that over the last couple of years I've had to like redefine my relationship with failure, because I used to think of failure as a bad thing, but now I like see failure as an opportunity to learn right. If I did something and I failed the first time, it just means that maybe I need to approach it in a different way the next time I try it. Failure is like it's like education, it's like school, right, it's the way that we learn through life. And so I used to try to avoid failure. I used to be a quitter Like. If I felt like I was, whatever I was doing, if it was a relationship or a business opportunity or anything that I'm trying, if I felt like I was failing or close to being on the verge of failure, I would quit before I allowed myself to fail, and only in therapy and unpacking that that I realized that that was a pattern in my life. And so I would say the first thing is recognizing that failure again is just a teacher for us and it just means that sometimes we have to approach something differently. And then it's also recognizing that it's okay, right, like it's okay sometimes to not get something right.

Dominiece Clifton: 38:54

I think the ultimate failure is the not doing, the quitting right, the giving up. I think that that is the greatest failure, but I think life always presents opportunities for us to do things differently, to pause, to pivot, and you have to recognize that sometimes a pivot or a transition is not a failure. It just means that the season has shifted, but redefining right our relationship with failure. For each of us, that looks different, but I think that that's probably the most important step when you are trying to accomplish any big goal or dream, because it's an inevitable part of the process. You are going to fail.

Dominiece Clifton: 39:32

And if you look at failure as if there's something wrong with me, I'm not good enough, I can't do this thing, you're going to talk yourself out of it every single time, whereas if you step back and look at what's the lesson in this right, the ironic thing about life is that it will keep giving us the same lessons over and over until we learn them.

Dominiece Clifton: 39:48

And so I keep getting to the point of like God damn it, I'm failing again, I'm not getting this thing, I write again, but I've gotten more wise now, where I can take a step back and be like what is the universe trying to teach me that I didn't learn the last time I was here, two or three years ago?

Dominiece Clifton: 40:02

And instead of seeing that moment as a failure or this current moment as me being on the verge of failure, it's literally pausing and slowing down and being like what is the lesson that I'm intended to learn here, so that I don't have to keep repeating this lesson or I don't have to continue to fail. So failure, the short answer is an opportunity to learn, and I think, if we start to reshape our relationship with failure and see it that way, it's just a moment, an educational moment where, instead of going to school and reading books, you're going through life and you're having experiences that are teaching you right. It becomes a little bit easier to navigate the challenges and to move through those moments of failure when you're just looking at it as like this is just a lesson, this is just a growth opportunity.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 40:44

Yeah, the version of you previously that was afraid to step away. What would she say to you right now?

Dominiece Clifton: 40:54

She might be a little bit disappointed. She was an overachiever, she was a perfectionist she was. I got diagnosed a couple of years ago with high performing what is high functioning trauma, which is basically where you have all of this trauma, and the way that you deal with that is by being an overachiever, right, showing up and doing all the things and putting on the cape and being the strong person all the time and like overexerting yourself, and so that's how I existed for most of my life. Where, so a couple of years ago, I probably would not have paused the podcast, I probably would have pushed through and overwhelmed myself and caused myself to burn out. Right, that was a version of myself that I would say wasn't as wise. I was more concerned about the thoughts and opinions of other people and what are people going to think if I pause? Or what are people are going to think if I put this on hold. But I'm grateful because I've grown a lot now where, number one, I have a better relationship with myself, where I can honor when I need to slow down and pause, whether that's pausing on the podcast or just closing my laptop for the day and not working. So I've grown from there.

Dominiece Clifton: 42:03

I am grateful that I am not that version of myself that I used to be, who used to sacrifice myself because I was so concerned about what other people might think, or I felt like I couldn't slow down my pace. Right Like, we are not meant to sprint the entire way. So, as long as the end goal is the same, right Like. Eventually I know the podcast will be back and I'll come back and it'll be stronger. Right, because there will be lessons and things that I learned in this season of pausing that I can bring back.

Dominiece Clifton: 42:30

I think that the past version of myself would have probably seen this as a failure, but this version of myself, this more wise version of myself, just recognizing that it's just a pivot Like, it's just a season that I'm in right now and again, every season that we go through is intended to teach us something.

Dominiece Clifton: 42:46

So I have no doubt that in this off season of not having the podcast, I will be learning things that are going to make me a better podcast host, right, they're going to make me a better podcast producer. I'll have a greater capacity when I step back into it. I'm sure the show will do better than it did before, and so I have love for that version of myself that I used to be, who, you know, didn't give myself permission to pause or to put things down and felt like I had to hold all the things and wear all the capes. But I'm grateful that I'm not that version of myself and I'm grateful that in moments like this right I get to choose myself and what makes the most sense for me and my family, and my goals and my vision, and not necessarily making the decision to appease other people.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 43:28

Can I offer a suggestion? Yes, because my question is what would the past version that was afraid to step away? What would she say to you? And you answered she would be disappointed. However, is it possible that she would say thank you for finally seeing me. Hmm, that you're integrating yeah, I like that because it's not separate from you. You're learning from it, yeah yeah, I receive that yeah.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 44:07

So you mentioned all the things about the podcast. What's the energy you want to bring to it when it comes back? So you mentioned all the things about the podcast. What's the energy you?

Dominiece Clifton: 44:15

want to bring to it when it comes back.

Dominiece Clifton: 44:20

Oh, my goodness, since starting the podcast, I have gotten more comfortable with being seen, Like being a guest on other people's podcasts. Hosting a podcast, it has been a lesson in authenticity. It's been a lesson in vulnerability. It's been a lesson in saying the thing that is coming up and on my heart, without filtering myself because, again, I'm worried about what other people think and I've really enjoyed the growth that has come from just allowing myself to be seen and heard in an authentic way when I return. I feel like I've had the podcast for three years, but only in the last like year have I actually been clear about, like, who I'm speaking to and what I want to offer, and so I feel like I was just getting to the place of putting out content that was for my desired audience, as opposed to just putting stuff out there and kind of, everyone needs healing, right, like this is for everyone. So when I come back right, it's not an if, it's a when.

Dominiece Clifton: 45:22

When I return with the podcast, I hope that I am able to.

Dominiece Clifton: 45:29

The podcast is for women entrepreneurs and it's all about giving tools and resources to help women nonprofit founders and entrepreneurs step into holding the big vision that spirit has entrusted to them, and so my goal when I come back is to come back as a more certain version of myself and have more tools, more resources that I can share with other people, because I've, you know, been living myself and walking in my own authenticity and following the vision that spirit has given to me and, again, being an example of it.

Dominiece Clifton: 46:04

Might not look the journey, might not look the way that you thought it was going to look, but that doesn't mean that it's a failure, right.

Dominiece Clifton: 46:10

Like, maybe this whole time, this plan to pause and pivot and to step back into full-time entrepreneurship maybe that was a part of God's plan the whole time, because he recognized that there were things that I needed to learn. So, again, if you're looking at it as like I'm failing, I'm not able to do this thing full-time anymore, it's like you never know, right, what you're going to get from these experiences. And so I guess, to wrap everything up, when I return, I hope that I return as a more certain version of myself, right, a more sure version of myself and a more empowered version of myself, and I hope that I'm able to take all of those gifts and strengths, whether they were gifts that I acquired previously, or gifts that I require in this season of pause. I hope that I'm able to take them and to share them out to the world in a higher level, in a way that serves women on a deeper, on a deeper scale.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 47:03

What is one thing you're deeply proud of, even if no one sees it? Even?

Dominiece Clifton: 47:13

if no one sees it. I'm proud that I haven't quit. I am proud that I have not quit because being an entrepreneur is one of the hardest things that I have ever said yes to. I stumbled into it. I never saw myself being an entrepreneur. It wasn't the path that I probably would have chosen for myself, because it doesn't feel safe at times. Right, it has not felt safe at times, but it has grown me in ways that I could have never imagined when I said yes, you know, five years ago, or when I was dabbling over a decade ago in entrepreneurship.

Dominiece Clifton: 47:47

And I think the things that we try to avoid sometimes are our greatest opportunities for growth and learning.

Dominiece Clifton: 48:05

And for me, I am just grateful that I've been through a separation and divorce and I'm co-parenting children, and so there's all of these other like personal things that have been happening in the midst of trying to build a business. And there have been plenty of opportunities where the door was open for me to walk away and step away and to quit. And in those seasons I may have paused, right, I may have taken a moment to realign myself, to make sure that I am in alignment with the plan that spirit has for my life, but I have not quit. And even now that I'm stepping back into full-time entrepreneur or full-time employment, I am still not quitting right. I'm just taking a different path. I'm just choosing a different method to the, with the same end goal in mind. So, when I think about what I'm proud of, I'm just proud that I didn't give up. I'm just proud that I have not and will not give up Right. Even if it doesn't look like the path that I would have necessarily chosen, I'm proud that I'm still pursuing the path.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 49:03

What would your future self tell you right now about fear?

Dominiece Clifton: 49:10

Oh, these are some good questions, natalie. Fear is often a sign that you're on the right track. To me, I see fear as the compass, letting me know that I'm moving in the right direction. For anyone who is listening, who is afraid of fear, like, if you don't feel fear, it means that you're not thinking big enough. It means that you're not aiming big enough. It means that you're in a place of comfort and complacency right and your goals are going to require you to step outside of your comfort zone and to play on a bigger scale.

Dominiece Clifton: 49:51

So if you are just coasting through life and you're not feeling any fear, right, it's time to shake things up and to dream bigger. And so I think, when I think about the future version of myself and what she would say to this version of myself, she would remind me that the fear is here not because I'm doing something wrong or I'm failing. It's because it's my compass and it lets me know that I'm on the right track. And so I think she would tell me to stay in it right, to not be intimidated by the fear, to rely on the tools and resources I have, whether it's my mindfulness practices or therapy, or all the other things that I've acquired over the years and add it to my toy box. She would remind me to utilize those things when necessary. But she would also, I think, remind me that fear is a sign that I'm moving in the right direction.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 50:40

Now I'm going to bring you into that reflective question. I'm going to ask you to bring this awareness now and go back to that 18-year-old self. And what are three words you would offer that 18 year old self to bring you to right now, this journey, at this present time?

Dominiece Clifton: 50:58

oh, my goodness 18 year old Dom and this is still something that I'm working on because my business coach reminds me all the time you don't have to do everything on your own. But at 18, I was still very much so in my trauma and I thought that I had to navigate life and do everything on my own. So I would tell 18-year-old Dom, I had to figure this out. 12 years later, in my 30s, I started to kind of unpack all the things. But I would first say right, it is okay to get help, to be helped, right to allow help into your life. You don't have to do everything on your own.

Dominiece Clifton: 51:40

Because I was moving through life being super independent, right from a place of trauma. My stories, my past experiences have told me that I couldn't depend on anyone but myself and that oftentimes just leads to overwhelm, exhaustion, burnout, constantly hitting walls. And so I would tell her that it's okay to lean into family, friends, professionals, right To put down this strong, independent woman facade that I've been carrying for so long. That's the first thing that I would tell her. The second thing that I would tell the 18-year-old version of myself that I didn't start to figure out until a lot later in life is that I'm enough. I used to try to overcompensate and overachieve to prove that I was enough, right To prove if I work really hard and I do a really good job, then people won't see the wounded parts of me or these parts of me that I don't feel so good about. And so I felt like I had to, like, prove myself to the world, and I'm grateful that I've moved away from that a lot. And so I would remind that version of myself that you don't have to do anything to prove that you are enough. You are enough just because right. You are enough because you are a reflection of spirit, right, you are literally created in God's image and that's enough. And the third thing I would tell that version of myself to live more Like I am now.

Dominiece Clifton: 53:04

As this 30 something year old version of myself, I'm trying to be more intentional about joy and having fun and pleasure and bliss and doing things that feel good. And sometimes I think, to my fault or detriment, I can be so goal oriented that I'm like head down, I'm locked in on the prize, I don't come up for air, and then it starts to impact my mental and emotional health and, like again, I have more self-awareness. So I recognize it now, but I think that I've been too serious for a long time and I didn't allow myself to have fun and there were times where, when I should have been enjoying life right, like I was working too hard or, you know, too focused on again trying to prove to the voices in my head or to the people in the world that I was good enough. So I would remind that younger version of myself to have more fun, like these are the best years, right, like 18, the teens and the 20s. Those are the best years.

Dominiece Clifton: 53:57

You don't have a lot of responsibility, you get to make decisions and choose yourself right. Have fun, live your life, live your life for you. And honestly, I think if I had had someone to tell me that in my teens or twenties, I would have made different decisions and I would have a different life than the one that I've chosen. But you know we go through what we go through for a reason. But I wish that I had chosen myself and chosen more fun over the life that you know I had decided to say yes to.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 54:27

So I know the listeners are where can I find Domineese? So could you let them know where they can find Dom?

Dominiece Clifton: 54:35

Yeah, um, I think the best place to connect with me the kind of like one place that you go, where you can go and get access to all the places is my website. Um, so my website is domrcliftoncom. If you go there, you can connect on social media, you can learn more about who I am and the services that I offer and the way that I support women entrepreneurs and nonprofit founders. And if someone is listening to this, that's a woman entrepreneur and feeling maybe like it's time for a pivot, or it's time for a pause, or feeling stuck in their business right and not sure of how to get out of that space.

Dominiece Clifton: 55:15

There is a free quiz on the homepage of my website. It's called the Entrepreneurial Clarity Assessment and it's a three-minute quiz. You take the quiz, answer a few yes or no questions and it helps you to identify right a certain archetype that you've essentially gotten stuck in as an entrepreneur or even a nonprofit founder, and then it gives you recommendations and solutions that you can begin to take right away to get out of that. And so, in talking about pausing and pivoting and you know, shifting and all the things sometimes we can get stuck and need to pause or need to pivot and be stuck in a place and not recognize how to get out of that, and so the quiz is a really great way to get some tools and recommendations. If you're feeling stuck right or maybe like it is time for a pivot, you can take that assessment. So I would direct folks to go there and then, you know, connect with me in all the places from my website.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 56:07

Now, thinking of this whole conversation that we had and, as you said, the universe is serving, because your newsletter yesterday was in regards to pivoting and pausing and, you know, shifting. What is the one intention that you would like to send out to whoever is listening right now?

Dominiece Clifton: 56:38

the one intention that I want to share is just a reminder that life is going to require pauses and pivots at certain points, and that doesn't mean, when we are faced with the pause or pivot, that we've failed. It just means that it's an opportunity for us to grow right. You can pivot. It just means that it's an opportunity for us to grow right. You can pivot. You should, at times, pivot. You can pause. You should, at times, pause, but don't quit. Don't quit right. Quitting silences the dream, and pausing and pivoting just allows you to refine it. Then you get to come back stronger with whatever it is that you are working on and desiring, and so that is what I would leave folks with today is just a reminder that a pivot doesn't mean that you messed up or you didn't do something right. It just means that life is requiring you in this season to take a different path to get to the same angle.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 57:28

Well, again, it has been a delight, has been a raw, vulnerable conversation and I again want to thank you for the alchemy that you continuously keep refining and taking those impurities and turning them into gold and not just keeping it for yourself. You're sharing it out with others and, you know, coming on this podcast and showing the rawness of what you're going through, and you know people have certain images and it's like, oh, if I'm honest, will I lose some clientele or some spectators, or will it impact my brand? Yet by having this honesty, you're actually reinforcing that brand and creating a really solid foundation which is within yourself. So when the winds blow that, yeah, they might rustle the leaves, yet the roots are deeper in. So it's like I'm not going to separate from it. So thank you so much for this beautiful dialogue, for sharing yourself.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 58:31

I hope you will come back again because I'm sure many people would like to hear well, how did it end up? Because everybody's curious. Like I said, I'm going car shopping and I'm like, oh, but we're talking about a global recession right now and all these things, and we never know what's going to happen. In our choices, it's just how do we use the tools not to separate from self and how do we pivot and remember that we have the capacity.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 58:57

So, for any listeners listening right now, remember that healing is revolutionary, that healing requires your self-awareness, your commitment to be honest with yourself and, as Dom said, that witnessing is very powerful because there's certain parts of your shadow. I call it like an elephant in the room. It doesn't know how to reveal itself. Yet when you're with somebody else, that elephant can be seen and it can be brought into sight, into the light of your awareness that it doesn't have to stay in the shadows. I know a lot of people think shadow work is some evil thing, where it's like. Actually the shadow is just an illusion, keeping you from the space between stimulus and response. So thank you again for enriching us, dom, and I look forward to connecting again and hearing how the journey has been going.

Dominiece Clifton: 59:50

Natalie, thank you so much for having me. I always feel so full after our conversations. I feel much more energized than when we hit record at the start. So I'm just really grateful that we have connected and that we get to engage in these sorts of dialogue and then share them out with the world.

NatNat-LiftOneSelf: 1:00:08

Please remember to be kind to yourself. Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self. And if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website. Come into a discovery call. Inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people. Come over on my website. Come into a discovery call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.