Why You Keep Watching What Hurts: Breaking the Trauma Loop Behind Your Scroll

Chapters

• 0:01 Welcome to the Mindful Scroll
• 0:49 Guided Mindfulness Moment
• 2:29 The Pain Behind the Pattern
• 4:22 Understanding Emotional Sobriety
• 6:33 Breaking the Loop Together

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

We're talking about social media, creeping Instagram story, watching silent scrolls down rabbit holes that somehow lead us right into our own ache, and I want to say this up front this isn't a call out, it's a call in, because I've been doing it too and I want to explore what's really underneath it. Let's begin by arriving here together. Welcome back to the Lift One Self podcast. I'm your host, nat. Nat, if this is your first time here, welcome home If you're continuing to come back. Thank you so much. Please take a moment to like, subscribe and share this podcast. Also, leave it a review. It helps us grow this community and these conversations matter.

Speaker 1: 0:49

Today's episode is one of those raw ones, the kind that catches you in the small choices we don't often name out loud, the ones we make when no one's watching except us. I want to invite you into a mindful moment so you can start to interrupt these patterns in real time, wherever you are right now. Pause, notice the way your breath is moving through your body. Don't try to control it, just be aware. Let your shoulders soften, let your jaw unclench, let your eyes land somewhere. Still, if it's safe, close them. Bring your attention inward, not to judge or fix, but to feel You're not looking out at the world, you're not performing, you're not watching anyone's story but your own Land in that You're not watching anyone's story but your own and you're allowed to be here with you, take a few deep breaths in and remind yourself you're safe to be you If you close those eyes gently, open them back up when you're ready.

Speaker 1: 2:29

You ever notice yourself avoiding Instagram, not because you're too busy, but because, deep down, you made a choice not to go to an event. You chose safety. You chose yourself. You chose integrity. You chose yourself, you chose integrity. And still there's this subtle ache of missing out and there's this part of you that wants to peek, that little voice that whispers just check. But here's what I've learned that's not healing, that's reenactment.

Speaker 1: 3:07

There's a fine sacred line between exposing yourself and self-inflicting pain. Most of us don't recognize it for what it is. We think we're just scrolling, but really we're picking at a scab, reopening a wound that was trying to close, and pain, predictable pain. It can feel soothing. It becomes a kind of numbing agent, a self-soothing trauma loop, and I know that loop because I've walked it. I've seen myself scrolling, not for joy, but to touch a pain I thought I'd outgrown. Sometimes we're not seeking joy, we're seeking pain we can control. We try to pre-feel abandonment or rejection because it feels safer to choose the pain than to be surprised by it. That curiosity, it's not always innocent. Sometimes it's your nervous system craving a hit of control. So ask yourself Are you scrolling to feel connected or are you preparing for pain?

Speaker 1: 4:04

You ever caught yourself clicking into someone's profile, even though you already know you're in a tender place, feeling jealousy, envy, insecurity. And still you go looking, looking for evidence to match the emotion already bubbling in your body. But that's not harmless. That's your nervous system seeking familiar discomfort. And let's be real, comparison doesn't usually empower us. It doesn't say, look what's possible. It says look how small you are.

Speaker 1: 4:36

And still, this isn't about shame, it's not about blame. It's about being honest. This is where emotional regulation begins. This is where self-awareness becomes self-compassion. You're not bad for looking. Yet be honest with why you are.

Speaker 1: 4:56

Think about the breakup scroll, the silent creeping after a falling out with a friend, the story watching through a mutual profile because you blocked someone or they blocked you. It's all just your nervous system searching for something familiar. The work is to mature the nervous system, to build new pathways, to create new definitions of safety and to choose again and again to feel your own emotions rather than grasping someone else's story. And if this is landing for you, if you're noticing the pain behind the pattern, I want to say this gently you are not broken. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was trained to do. But there is another way a grounded, compassionate, fully embodied way. That's what emotional sobriety is about.

Speaker 1: 5:53

Emotional sobriety is the ability to feel our emotions without being ruled by them. It's nervous system healing in real time. It's breaking trauma loops and choosing presence instead of pain. And if this feels familiar to you, the emotional sobriety workshop might be the shift you've been seeking. You can find the link to join in the show notes or head to lift oneselfcom and look for the emotional sobriety workshop. Let's break the loop together. So the next time you feel the pull to check, pause, breathe, ask gently what am I hoping to feel by watching this? Am I soothing or reopening something I've already outgrown? You don't need to prove you've healed by looking at the thing that hurt. Until next time, please remember to be kind to yourself. I'm Nat, nat, and I'll meet back with you soon.