A Love Letter to My Son and the Mothers Who Shape Us

The tender threads of motherhood weave through this deeply personal episode as I share a love letter to my son Javon on his 30th birthday.

Thirty years ago, as a scared teenager without even a high school diploma, I was thrust into motherhood — holding a tiny human who depended on me while I was still learning how to depend on myself.

That moonlit night when I first brought him home, whispering promises I wasn’t sure I could keep, marked the beginning of a transformative journey — one that reshaped my entire existence.

Through raw and honest reflection, I share how motherhood taught me that love isn’t only gentle — it’s fierce, demanding, and expansive. It stretches us thin, yet paradoxically makes us whole.

My son became my greatest teacher, reflecting my essence back to me when I couldn’t see it myself. He showed me how to receive love when I wanted to push it away, and how to give love without conditions.

This episode honors not only my relationship with Javon but also the many forms of mothering:
 → those who have given birth
 → those who have lost mothers
 → those mothering themselves
 → and those navigating motherhood without children

This Mother's Day carries special meaning — marking both my son's milestone birthday and my first without my daughter, Natalie, here physically.

I speak to how grief and gratitude can coexist, and how Natalie’s love continues to radiate through her boys. I share how I am learning to honor both joy and sorrow, and how love continues to shape us.

Whether this day brings you smiles, tears, or quiet reflection — I invite you to meet it authentically, without performing or carrying others' expectations.

Join me for a mindful moment. Feel the support beneath you. Remember — you are not alone in this sacred circle of mothering.

✨ Share your reflections: liftoneself@gmail.com
 ✨ Join the conversation: #LiftOneSelfMotherhood

Let’s grow this community of authentic, loving presence… together.

Transcript

Welcome and Introduction

NatNat 0:00

Welcome home to the Lift One Self podcast . I'm your host , nat . Nat , today's episode is tender , it's celebrating , it's a mixture of everything A love letter to my son , Jahvan , on his 30th birthday , and to all the mothers , to those who have mothered , been mothered , lost a mother , longed for a mother , and those learning how to mother themselves , or the mothers that are childless . Whether this day feels soft , raw or somewhere in between , I invite you to

30 Years of Motherhood Reflections

NatNat 0:34

listen with your heart . 30 years ago , I was birthed into the role of mother . I didn't know what I was doing . I was so scared . Here's this little human depending on me , what I was doing . I was so scared . Here's this little human depending on me while I was still learning how to depend on myself and figure out . How do I navigate in this world ? What do I do ? How do I do this ? I didn't even have my high school diploma yet . Those questions echo quietly inside me .

NatNat 1:01

I remember that first night home with you , Jahvan Quiet apartment , the moonlight through the window . You felt so small in my arms and yet the love already felt immense . I whispered promises . I wasn't sure I knew how to keep , yet somehow we figured it out together . You brought me back to love , even when I resisted , even when I pushed it away , you reflected my essence back to me . You taught me how to receive love and how to give it without conditions . When life knocked me down and there surely has been many of them the love we share

Honoring Mothers Everywhere

NatNat 1:48

of them , the love we share accountable love , always lifted me up . You have always had my back , and words could never truly express the gratitude I hold for that . You changed my world . You are my greatest gift . I chose to birth you naturally , to feel it all , to be fully present , raw and anchored in appreciation , because I didn't want to take you for granted the greatest gift I have .

NatNat 2:14

Motherhood taught me that love is not only soft , it is fierce , it humbles , it expands , it stretches us thin . It expands , it stretches us thin and yet makes us whole . To mother is to become both sanctuary and storm , to hold when others cannot hold themselves , to release , to guide and to let go , and to love , even when it asks more of you than you thought you could give , more of you than you thought you could give . And in this breath I find myself thinking of my own mommy , the very first place I knew as home Her hands , her voice , the way she tried , even when life weighed heavy , to love the best she could . Mommy , I see you in me , now more than ever , in the moments I reach for grace , in the ways I soften when life feels sharp , in the fierce love I hold for my own children .

NatNat 3:11

I know now mothering isn't about perfection . It's about presence , about doing the best you can with what you have , about love that keeps trying . So today I honor you too , mommy . You allowed life to come through you . You gave me beginnings , and although our journey has had both ache and care , your love in all its form lives on in me . I carry you always To all the mothers listening . I see you

First Mother's Day Without Natalie

NatNat 3:43

carrying worlds on your shoulder while still finding the strength to lift others . I honor your journey , your sacrifice , your quiet resilience .

NatNat 3:55

I haven't always gotten it right , god knows . I've made a ton of mistakes . Sometimes I shake my head when I think of them and just cower . Sometimes I shake my head when I think of them and just cower . Yet I take accountability and I leave space for you , javon , and your brothers to call me forward when I falter , and God knows , the twins know how to do that very well . That too is love . That too is the sacred work of mothering .

NatNat 4:22

Jahvan , you have always been wise , even in your quietness . You have been my teacher and you still are . You are the best Mother's Day gift every single year . And as you turn 30 and step into this new decade , this new chapter of your life , I stand on the highest mountain of my soul , calling out to anyone who will listen . Will you please help me celebrate this incredible man , Jahvan , you are worthy of celebration and this love matters . Mommy loves you always . Mommy loves you always .

NatNat 5:01

To everyone listening , this Mother's Day holds tenderness for me also . It's the first without my sunshine Natalie here physically . That ache is real , and yet so is the joy . She gave me , the gift of profound life experience of what breath really is , of surrender , of acceptance , of allowing feelings to coexist while remaining present To our boys . This day may meet you in many ways . It might bring smiles or tears or quiet reflection , all of it or nothing at all . However , it meets you , let it be what it is , no right way , no wrong way , just yours .

NatNat 5:51

Don't perform for anybody or measure up to anybody's standards . This is your experience . Your mother's love radiates through each of you . She imprinted herself in you in your humor , your fierceness , your care . That fierce love is alive in you . She's still cheering you on , still nagging about the little things and still reminding all of you to keep the house clean and , most of all , she is so deeply proud of you . So , boys , lean on your village , let them hold you and know you are deeply loved .

Mindful Moment and Closing Invitation

NatNat 6:32

Before I close , will you join me in a mindful moment ? I invite you to place your hand on your heart or wherever it feels comforting . Take a soft , gentle breath . Feel the support beneath you , feel yourself here in this space . Whatever is stirring gratitude , ache , longing , tenderness there is room for all of it . You don't need to fix or change anything . Just be here . You're not alone . Take another deep breath and allow there to be openness in your body .

NatNat 7:26

This love letter was for Jahvan , and yet it's also for all of us , for those finding their way through the sacred circle of mothering . I would love to hear your reflections . You can email me at lift oneself at gmailcom , or join the conversation on social channels using hashtag lift oneself motherhood , and please share it with somebody that you think would benefit from it . Help grow the community . Remember to like , comment

Final Thoughts and Farewell

NatNat 7:50

and subscribe . Thank you for holding this tender space of celebration with me today . Be intentional with your time . It's your true currency and your wealth . Time is a tool , not a toy . Use it wisely . Until next time , remember to be kind to yourself . You matter .