A Love Letter to My Son and the Mothers Who Shape Us

The tender threads of motherhood weave through this deeply personal episode as I share a love letter to my son Javon on his 30th birthday.

Thirty years ago, as a scared teenager without even a high school diploma, I was thrust into motherhood — holding a tiny human who depended on me while I was still learning how to depend on myself.

That moonlit night when I first brought him home, whispering promises I wasn’t sure I could keep, marked the beginning of a transformative journey — one that reshaped my entire existence.

Through raw and honest reflection, I share how motherhood taught me that love isn’t only gentle — it’s fierce, demanding, and expansive. It stretches us thin, yet paradoxically makes us whole.

My son became my greatest teacher, reflecting my essence back to me when I couldn’t see it myself. He showed me how to receive love when I wanted to push it away, and how to give love without conditions.

This episode honors not only my relationship with Javon but also the many forms of mothering:
 → those who have given birth
 → those who have lost mothers
 → those mothering themselves
 → and those navigating motherhood without children

This Mother's Day carries special meaning — marking both my son's milestone birthday and my first without my daughter, Natalie, here physically.

I speak to how grief and gratitude can coexist, and how Natalie’s love continues to radiate through her boys. I share how I am learning to honor both joy and sorrow, and how love continues to shape us.

Whether this day brings you smiles, tears, or quiet reflection — I invite you to meet it authentically, without performing or carrying others' expectations.

Join me for a mindful moment. Feel the support beneath you. Remember — you are not alone in this sacred circle of mothering.

✨ Share your reflections: liftoneself@gmail.com
 ✨ Join the conversation: #LiftOneSelfMotherhood

Let’s grow this community of authentic, loving presence… together.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Introduction
• 0:34 30 Years of Motherhood Reflections
• 1:43 Honoring Mothers Everywhere
• 3:43 First Mother's Day Without Natalie
• 6:32 Mindful Moment and Closing Invitation
• 7:50 Final Thoughts and Farewell

Transcript

NatNat: 0:00

Welcome home to the Lift One Self podcast. I'm your host, nat. Nat, today's episode is tender, it's celebrating, it's a mixture of everything A love letter to my son, Jahvan, on his 30th birthday, and to all the mothers, to those who have mothered, been mothered, lost a mother, longed for a mother, and those learning how to mother themselves, or the mothers that are childless. Whether this day feels soft, raw or somewhere in between, I invite you to listen with your heart. 30 years ago, I was birthed into the role of mother. I didn't know what I was doing. I was so scared. Here's this little human depending on me, what I was doing. I was so scared. Here's this little human depending on me while I was still learning how to depend on myself and figure out. How do I navigate in this world? What do I do? How do I do this? I didn't even have my high school diploma yet. Those questions echo quietly inside me.

NatNat: 1:01

I remember that first night home with you, Jahvan Quiet apartment, the moonlight through the window. You felt so small in my arms and yet the love already felt immense. I whispered promises. I wasn't sure I knew how to keep, yet somehow we figured it out together. You brought me back to love, even when I resisted, even when I pushed it away, you reflected my essence back to me. You taught me how to receive love and how to give it without conditions. When life knocked me down and there surely has been many of them the love we share of them, the love we share accountable love, always lifted me up. You have always had my back, and words could never truly express the gratitude I hold for that. You changed my world. You are my greatest gift. I chose to birth you naturally, to feel it all, to be fully present, raw and anchored in appreciation, because I didn't want to take you for granted the greatest gift I have.

NatNat: 2:14

Motherhood taught me that love is not only soft, it is fierce, it humbles, it expands, it stretches us thin. It expands, it stretches us thin and yet makes us whole. To mother is to become both sanctuary and storm, to hold when others cannot hold themselves, to release, to guide and to let go, and to love, even when it asks more of you than you thought you could give, more of you than you thought you could give. And in this breath I find myself thinking of my own mommy, the very first place I knew as home Her hands, her voice, the way she tried, even when life weighed heavy, to love the best she could. Mommy, I see you in me, now more than ever, in the moments I reach for grace, in the ways I soften when life feels sharp, in the fierce love I hold for my own children.

NatNat: 3:11

I know now mothering isn't about perfection. It's about presence, about doing the best you can with what you have, about love that keeps trying. So today I honor you too, mommy. You allowed life to come through you. You gave me beginnings, and although our journey has had both ache and care, your love in all its form lives on in me. I carry you always To all the mothers listening. I see you carrying worlds on your shoulder while still finding the strength to lift others. I honor your journey, your sacrifice, your quiet resilience.

NatNat: 3:55

I haven't always gotten it right, god knows. I've made a ton of mistakes. Sometimes I shake my head when I think of them and just cower. Sometimes I shake my head when I think of them and just cower. Yet I take accountability and I leave space for you, javon, and your brothers to call me forward when I falter, and God knows, the twins know how to do that very well. That too is love. That too is the sacred work of mothering.

NatNat: 4:22

Jahvan, you have always been wise, even in your quietness. You have been my teacher and you still are. You are the best Mother's Day gift every single year. And as you turn 30 and step into this new decade, this new chapter of your life, I stand on the highest mountain of my soul, calling out to anyone who will listen. Will you please help me celebrate this incredible man, Jahvan, you are worthy of celebration and this love matters. Mommy loves you always. Mommy loves you always.

NatNat: 5:01

To everyone listening, this Mother's Day holds tenderness for me also. It's the first without my sunshine Natalie here physically. That ache is real, and yet so is the joy. She gave me, the gift of profound life experience of what breath really is, of surrender, of acceptance, of allowing feelings to coexist while remaining present To our boys. This day may meet you in many ways. It might bring smiles or tears or quiet reflection, all of it or nothing at all. However, it meets you, let it be what it is, no right way, no wrong way, just yours.

NatNat: 5:51

Don't perform for anybody or measure up to anybody's standards. This is your experience. Your mother's love radiates through each of you. She imprinted herself in you in your humor, your fierceness, your care. That fierce love is alive in you. She's still cheering you on, still nagging about the little things and still reminding all of you to keep the house clean and, most of all, she is so deeply proud of you. So, boys, lean on your village, let them hold you and know you are deeply loved.

NatNat: 6:32

Before I close, will you join me in a mindful moment? I invite you to place your hand on your heart or wherever it feels comforting. Take a soft, gentle breath. Feel the support beneath you, feel yourself here in this space. Whatever is stirring gratitude, ache, longing, tenderness there is room for all of it. You don't need to fix or change anything. Just be here. You're not alone. Take another deep breath and allow there to be openness in your body.

NatNat: 7:26

This love letter was for Jahvan, and yet it's also for all of us, for those finding their way through the sacred circle of mothering. I would love to hear your reflections. You can email me at lift oneself at gmailcom, or join the conversation on social channels using hashtag lift oneself motherhood, and please share it with somebody that you think would benefit from it. Help grow the community. Remember to like, comment and subscribe. Thank you for holding this tender space of celebration with me today. Be intentional with your time. It's your true currency and your wealth. Time is a tool, not a toy. Use it wisely. Until next time, remember to be kind to yourself. You matter.