Stop Bringing It Forward: Living by Your Own Rules

87 days left in 2025. How did you invest your most valuable asset—your time?**

If you keep saying “I’ll do it next time” and never do, this episode is for you. We pull apart the unspoken rules keeping you small, be polite when disrespected, stay small so others feel safe, don’t ask for too much and replace them with clarity, boundaries, and self-trust you can feel in your body.

You’ll get a guided mindful reset to calm your inner critic, plus practical steps to stop performing and start living like your life is yours. We talk about naming rock bottom as orientation (not failure), setting boundaries without drama, and what changes when you finally ask: *“Is this even mine?”*

**In this episode:**
• Time audit as a reality check on what matters
• Exposing inherited rules and people-pleasing scripts
• Clarity over being “difficult” as a reframe
• Guided breath and inner coach activation
• Naming rock bottom as orientation, not failure
• Micro-steps to shift from performing to living
• Boundaries you can enforce with calm
• Choosing breakthroughs by asking “Is this even mine?”
• Choosing now over “next time” with simple actions

Rock bottom can look like heartbreak, burnout, grief, or quiet misalignment, it’s all valid data. When you claim where you are, your brain stops wasting energy on the facade and can finally help you navigate forward.

**If this opened something for you, join the LiftOneSelf community** for emotional sobriety tools, meditations, and conversations to get off autopilot.

**👉🏽 LiftOneSelf.com**

**What’s one rule you’re ready to rewrite?** Tag us on social @LiftOneSelf or drop a voice note—we read every single one.

Chapters

• 0:00 Time Check & Wake-Up Call
• 0:42 Autopilot Scripts Exposed
• 2:12 Whose Life Are You Living
• 3:33 Mindful Reset & Inner Coach
• 5:36 Naming Rock Bottom
• 7:20 From Performing To Living
• 8:31 Breakthroughs, Not Breakdowns
• 9:29 Choose Now & Next Steps

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

We are already in the third quarter of 2025. Less than three months until 2026. 87 days. Let that sink in. Yes, I know time is an illusion and it's continuous. Yet let me ask you something. When you reflect back on 2025, how did you invest your most valuable asset, your time? Not where did you go, not how busy you've been, how did you invest it? Did you invest it in what actually matters to you, in your peace, your growth, your truth, your loved ones? Or did you just survive it? You know those meetings at work that we all roll our eyes at, the ones where everyone talks and nothing actually gets done? At the end, someone says, let's just bring it forward to next time. We do the same thing with our lives. I'll set that boundary next time. I'll have that conversation when the timing's better. I'll start living for myself once things settle down. How many times are you going to keep saying you're going to do the things that would bring forth change and then just do a BF? Just bring it forward again and again and again. Be honest with yourself. Hey, this is Nat Nat, and you're listening to the Lift One Self podcast, where we create space for you to pause, reflect, and reconnect with the truth of who you are. If you're new here, welcome. Hit that subscribe button because today we're talking about the scripts you've been running on autopilot and what happens when you finally decide to rewrite them. Here's the real question: whose life are you actually living? I'm not talking about your job or your relationship or where you live. Let's get real. We have basic needs that we have to play around in this matrix, and it's very frustrating. Yet I'm talking about the rules you follow every single day without even thinking about it. Be polite, even when someone disrespects you. Stay small so others feel comfortable. Don't ask for too much. Don't be too loud, too honest, too real. You've been running a script you didn't write, and you've gotten so good at it, you don't even notice it anymore. Let's be honest. You've been told your whole life there's a right way to do things. Work hard, be kind, don't make waves. And you did all of that. You followed the formula, and somehow you still feel like you're living someone else's version of your life. Because you are. How many of you can relate? You're doing something and you say to yourself, Why the fuck am I doing this? Yet you continue to do it. But what if actually you answered that question? What if you paused the action and just stood in that space for a second? Every time you silence yourself to keep the peace, every time you say yes when everything in you screams no, every time you shrink yourself so someone else can feel big, you're directing a life you don't even want to star in. Here's what nobody tells you. Living by your own rules doesn't mean you have it all figured out. It just means you stop waiting for permission to rest, permission to change your mind, permission to want different things than you wanted five years ago. Hell, maybe even from last week. The script says, don't be difficult, don't disappoint people. But living by your own rules says, I'm not difficult, I'm clear. Disappointing them isn't my focus. Honoring myself is. Let's pause right here and take a mindful moment. Really engage with that nervous system that has that inner critic and that inner coach. Let's amplify that inner coach. If it's safe to do so, gently close your eyes or soften your gaze. Take a deep breath in, and when you exhale, let it all go. Take another deep breath in and exhale and let it all go, settling more into your body. Now taking that deep breath in, when you exhale, you're gonna say, I was not born to follow a script. Breathe in. Exhale. My truth is not up for negotiation. One more breath. Place a hand on your chest. Feel your heartbeat. Actually, hold yourself, letting your body know you got you. You don't need permission to exist. Give yourself the permission to be authentic to you. Give yourself the permission to support your needs. Take another deep breath in. And when you exhale, let it all go. When you're ready, gently open your eyes and stay with your breath. Listen, if you're at rock bottom right now, here's what I need you to do. Say it out loud. I'm at rock bottom. Not to perform, not to wallow, to name it. I have been there countless times and it sucks. I know it sucks, it sucks, it sucks. Yet when you claim it, that's when you stop pretending. Your brain stops wasting energy holding up the facade. It can finally do its job, help you navigate, regulate, and find your way forward. Because you don't know where to go if you don't know where you are on the map. And remember, rock bottom looks different for everyone. It can be a relationship breakup, loss of a job, mental distress, grief, where you live. It doesn't have to be dramatic to be real. Rock bottom isn't failure, it's information. It's your system saying, we can't keep doing this. Something has to change. And the moment you stop fighting that truth, the moment you say, I'm at rock bottom, and that's where I am right now, that's when you stop sinking. Because you can't get out of a hole. You won't admit you're in. So if that's you, say it, write it, whisper it to yourself in the mirror. I'm at rock bottom and I'm gonna get myself out. Not because you're broken, yet because you're honest. And honesty, that's where you pick up your mat and start walking forward. I'll be real with you. For years I was so good at performing, smiling when I wanted to scream, staying when I wanted to leave, drinking when I wanted to expand. Yet one day I asked, what if I stopped performing and just started living? Living like my life is mine. That question cracked everything open. So here's what I want you to ask yourself. What would you do differently if you stopped living by everyone else's rules? What boundary would you set? What dream would you stop bringing forward? What part of yourself would you finally let out? Because the world wants you predictable, manageable. Yet you weren't made to be managed, you were made to be alive. And living by your own rules doesn't mean you're selfish, it means you're finally honest. Here's the truth the script only works if you keep performing it. The moment you pause and say, wait, is this even mine? That's when it cracks. And that's not a breakdown, that's a breakthrough. Because you're not losing yourself, you're finding yourself underneath all the roles you've been playing. We're in Q3 2025, 87 days until a new year. You can keep bringing your life forward, same script, same next time, or you can start living like your life is yours to direct. Not someday, now. If this cracks something open to you, come join me in the emotional sobriety workshop. We're not just talking about this, we're doing the work, the meditation, real conversation tools to help you get off autopilot. Link in the descriptions or go to liftoneself.com. Not ready yet? That's cool. Just hit subscribe and share this with someone who needs it. If somebody popped into your head, there's a reason for it. So share it out. Drop me a comment from this question. What's one rule you're ready to rewrite? Because when you lift yourself, you lift others. You don't need permission to live your own life. You just need the courage to start. I'm NatNat, and this is the Lift Oneself Podcast. And I'll see you in the next one. Please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter. Take some action. How do you eat an elephant? Or one bite at a time. Take the first bite.