If They Bring Crumbs, Bring A Fork And Eat Alone

Are you settling for crumbs when your life is calling you to the whole meal? We open with a clear look at why so many of us accept scraps of connection and approval texts that trickle in, one-sided friendships, invitations that feel like obligations and why that pattern can feel safer than being alone. The truth is simpler and braver: a worthiness wound trains the nervous system to seek familiar rejection and then uses each disappointment as proof that we aren’t enough. Once you name the ache, the intensity drops, and the loop loses its grip.

We unpack a real-world story that mirrors what many endure: paying to be included in spaces that don’t want us, then calling it community. From there, we map the shift from shedding season to a power season moving from performing for acceptance to honoring our needs in plain view. Think of it as changing your internal contract: stop earning your seat by overgiving and start choosing rooms where your presence is welcomed, not negotiated. Being alone becomes an informed choice, not abandonment, and it signals to your life that you are no longer available for crumbs.

You’ll hear practical guidance for what “eating the whole meal” looks like in everyday life: saying no to draining invitations, taking yourself on dates, investing in your well-being without waiting for permission, and holding a boundary even when it feels unfamiliar. We frame it with three clarifying questions to close out the shedding: what you long for, what wound you’re protecting, and what risk stands between you and release. As we step into 2026 with the energy of the horse: power, movement, momentum... you’ll have language, tools, and courage to run toward what truly wants you and let everything else fall away.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs the reminder, and leave a review to help others find it. Your next brave yes starts now.

Chapters

• 0:00 From Crumbs To Whole Meal
• 0:11 Year Of Shedding And Completion
• 1:35 Please Like Subscribe And Share
• 1:48 The Crumbs Story And Wake-Up Call
• 3:06 Why We Accept Scraps
• 4:03 The Worthiness Wound And Loops
• 6:05 Naming The Ache To Break Patterns
• 8:39 Snake Energy: Release What No Longer Fits
• 9:40 Horse Energy: Power Movement Freedom
• 11:01 What Whole Meal Looks Like In Practice
• 13:00 Radical Compassion And Self-Showing Up
• 14:25 Three Questions To Finish Shedding
• 16:15 Clear Space For What’s Next

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Did you settle for crumbs or did you allow yourself to eat the whole damn meal? Welcome to the Lift One Self Podcast. I'm your host, Nat Nat. We're in the final days of 2025, which is the year of nine, the year of completion, and the year of the snake, which means shedding. If you've been paying attention to your own life, whether you believe in numerology or Chinese zodiac or horoscopes or not, you've probably noticed certain elements of these: the shedding, the releasing, the way things that no longer serve you have been falling away or demanding to be released. For me, 2025 has been exactly that. A year of recognizing what I've been holding on to that isn't mine to carry. A year of seeing patterns I didn't want to see. A year of being honest and letting go. And one of the biggest things I've been shedding, people who only offer crumbs. Today I want to talk about why we hold on to crumbs, why we'll accept scraps of connection and validation from people who barely see us. Why we'll contort ourselves to fit into spaces where we're not even wanted or valued. And why 2026, the year of the horse, the stallion, the year of power, is asking us to stop. We're going into new beginnings, so let's dive into that. And before we continue, please like, subscribe, and share the podcast. Share it out. This may be the medicine that somebody is looking for that they can see themselves in what I'm going to share. I had a conversation recently that made all of this crystal clear. Someone shared that they were going to someone's house, someone they didn't even like, that they argued a lot with, that they had invited themselves and were asked to give money towards the food, which I get. You know, the price of food is a lot, especially in the Caribbean community, oxtail and goat. Those are prime meals. In our conversation, they were complaining about it without even realizing it. So I asked them, why are you going somewhere you don't want to go to? To see someone you don't like and paying money for something that you had to invite yourself to? See, I asked those questions because I could see where they were holding on to crumbs. How do I know? Because I've done the same. The crumb of maybe being included, the crumb of maybe feeling like they belong somewhere, the crumb of maybe, just maybe, someone will value them if they show up. Even though deep down they knew the truth. They weren't valued there. But the crumb, the possibility of belonging, felt better than facing that aloneness. And that, that's the wound so many of us carry. We are wired for connection, for belonging, for community. And when we've been wounded around it, we'll take anything that even remotely looks like it. We'll hold on to people who barely text us back. We'll stay in friendships that feel one-sided. We'll show up to places we're not invited. And we'll give our time, our energy, our money to people who don't reciprocate. And we know it. We still do it because a crumb feels safer than admitting I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid nobody actually wants me. So we take the scraps, we tell ourselves it's fine, maybe it'll get better. We're just being flexible, low maintenance. But really, we're abandoning ourselves. We're accepting less than we deserve because we believe we're not worth it. Here's what I pointed out to them, and what I've been seeing in myself. When you have a wound around worthiness and belonging, your nervous system will recreate situations that confirm that wound. You'll seek connection in ways that guarantee rejection. You'll give to people who won't give back. You'll show up where you're not wanted, and then you'll use this experience as proof. See, nobody values me. I'm not enough. It's not that you're broken. Your brain is trying to resolve something it never resolved in the first place. You're trying to get from unavailable people what you never got from the original unavailable people in your life. And no matter how many crumbs you collect, it will never be enough. Because crumbs can't heal the wound. Only you can. Now, here's something I've noticed, and maybe you'll recognize this in yourself. When I ask people what they're really longing for, they say, I don't know. When I ask what wound is driving their choices, they say I don't know. But it's not that they don't know. It's that knowing feels too vulnerable, too revealing, too much like admitting they're not as strong as they've been performing. Because we've been taught that strength means not needing, that power means not wanting, that being healed means no aching for anything. So we'd rather deny what aches than be honest about what we're longing for. We'd rather stay in the loop where at least the pain is predictable than risk saying, I want to belong, I want to be valued, I want to stop eating crumbs and feel worthy of the whole damn meal. But here's the truth. Your I don't know is costing you your freedom. Because if you don't identify the wound, you can't identify the trigger. And if you can't identify the trigger, it will hijack you every single time. That's the loop. That's why nothing changes. But here's what happens when you finally name it. When you acknowledge the ache, the intensity diminishes. You don't have to run away from it anymore. You don't have to push it down. You don't have to numb it. It's allowed to coexist with everything else. And that is where you honor all of you, not just the parts that feel polished and perfect, not the layers of mass that you wear to perform for others. That's where wholeness lives. That's where worth lives. That's where you finally value all of you. The longing, the aching, the need, the wound, the strength, the messiness, all of it. You can't be whole if you're denying what's half true. So let me ask you something. And I want you to really be honest with yourself right now. Not with me, with yourself. What crumbs are you holding on to? And before you say, I don't know, or I'm not sure, I'm gonna hold something to you, you do know. You're just afraid to acknowledge it. You know who takes your energy and gives nothing back. You know which situations make you feel empty and small, maybe even feel dimmed. You know where you're performing instead of being real. You know. But saying I don't know feels safe than naming it. Because when you name it, then you have to see it. You have to acknowledge it. You have to do something about it. Or not. Yet when you name it and you stay there, that accountability will start aching with you, and then you will make a change. And you see, when you start making changes and you take action, you take the risk of being alone, risking rejection, risking that terrible feeling of not belonging. So you'd rather show your strength, your ability to handle it, but here's what costs you you stay in the loop. The wound stays unidentified, the triggers stay unnamed, and every time it gets activated, it hijacks you to the same pattern, seeking soothing instead of change. You can't create healing with what you won't name. 2025 is the year nine in numerology, the year of completion, the year of releasing, the year of letting go. And it's also the year of the snake, the Chinese zodiac. And you know what snakes do? They shed, they outgrow their skin, and when it doesn't fit anymore, they release it. It's not comfortable, it's not pretty, but it's necessary for their growth. And if you've been paying attention to your own life this year, you've probably felt it. Relationships that no longer fit, jobs that no longer serve, patterns that no longer work, even versions of yourself that you're willing to confront and say, no more. The snake has been asking you, what are you still clinging to that you have outgrown? For me, it's been people who have offered me crumbs, situations where I'm giving far more than I'm receiving, spaces where I've been performing instead of being honest. I've been shedding the part of me that needs to be liked more than I need to honor myself. I've been shedding the part of me that accepts scraps and calls a connection. But 2025 is almost over. The shedding season is ending. 2026 is the year of the horse, the stallion. The horse represents power, movement, freedom, momentum. The horse doesn't cling, the horse doesn't settle, the horse runs towards what it wants. And if you want to step into that energy in 2026 with power, with clarity, with momentum, you have to finish the shedding. You have to let go of the crumbs. You have to stop saying yes to things that no longer serve you because you're afraid of being alone. Because here's the truth: being alone is not the same as being abandoned. Being alone can be a choice, a powerful one. It can be one that you're saying, I'd rather be alone than accept crumbs. I'd rather be in discomfort than abandon myself. And when you make that choice, when you stop eating crumbs and start honoring your own worthiness, something shifts. You stop attracting people who offer scraps, you stop tolerating one-sided relationships, you stop performing for validation. You start drawing to you the people, the opportunities, the connections that actually match your value. Now you might be wondering, what does eating the whole damn meal actually look like? What does it mean to honor yourself in practice in real everyday life? Sometimes eating the whole meal means recognizing that no one is going to show up but yourself. And you take yourself on dates, anyways. You honor and value yourself. You get comfortable with being alone. You don't wait for someone else to invite you. You don't settle for being an afterthought in someone else's plans. You don't spend money to prove yourself or force yourself into spaces where you're not wanted or valued. Instead, you choose yourself. You take yourself to the restaurants you've been wanting to try. You go to the movie alone, you book the massage, you sit in the coffee shop with your journal and actually give yourself the attention you've been begging others to give you. It means saying no to invitations that feel like obligations, no to people who only reach out when they need something, no to relationships where you're always the one initiating. And it means saying yes to yourself, even when it feels lonely at times, even when parts of you want to go back to the crumbs because at least they're familiar. And you will do that. So just honor yourself when you recognize that you have done that. Radical compassion. Eating the whole meal is choosing your own company over bad company. It's recognizing that being alone with yourself isn't a consolation prize. It's the foundation of your worth. Because here's the truth: if you can't show up for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? And when you finally start showing up for yourself, like really showing up for yourself, you stop accepting crumbs because you've tasted the whole meal and there's no going back. I'll be honest with you, this year has asked a lot of me. I've had to look at my own patterns, my own need to be liked, my own tendency to give and give and give, even when it's not reciprocated. I've had to see where I've been holding on to people who only offer scraps, because at least it's something, at least it's connection. And I've had to let go, not with anger, not with resentment, but with clarity. And was there pain? Oh, heck yeah, a lot of it. Yet with that recognition, I realize that I deserve more than crumbs, and so do you. I'm stepping into 2026 with the energy of the horse, the stallion, with power, with clarity, and with the willingness to run towards what actually serves me and let everything else fall away. And really honoring that honesty with myself. So here's my invitation to you as we close out this year of the snake. Finish the shedding. Look at what you're still holding on to, the crumbs, the people who don't reciprocate, the situations where you're performing instead of being real. And I'm going to invite you to ask yourself three questions. And when you ask them, create a space where you can sit with these questions to hear the answer that comes up. Question number one: What am I afraid of admitting that I'm longing for? Not what you think you should want. What are you actually aching for? Is a connection belonging to be seen to be valued? Question number two, what wound am I protecting by staying in the pattern? Abandonment, rejection, not being enough, being too much. Question number three. What would I have to risk to let go of these crumbs? Being alone, being rejected, not belonging, facing the possibility that I'm worthy of more, but terrified to reach for it? These are not comfortable questions, but they're questions that will set you free. Because 2026, the year of the horse, is asking you to run towards what you actually want. But you can't run if you're still pretending you don't know where you're going. You know, you've always known. You're just afraid to say it out loud. Say it anyways. Now, maybe you don't believe in numerology, zodiac signs, horoscopes, and that's fine. Yet I'm willing to bet that if you reflect on your life this year, you'll see where there was releasing, where there was shedding, where it was really asked of you to let go. Pay attention to that because it's not random. It's your system, your soul, clearing space for what's next. And what's next is power, momentum, freedom. But only if you let go of the crumbs. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being willing to see what you're holding on to as crumbs. Please like, share, and subscribe to the podcast. And if somebody popped into your mind while listening, this might be the medicine they need. So share it out. Because you know what? This shedding isn't easy. It's necessary. And on the other side, there's power waiting for you. Until next time, stop settling for the crumbs. You deserve the whole damn meal. Make sure you eat it. Please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter. This is MatNat, and this is the Lift Oneself podcast.